Authors Notes: I feel that I should state that my primary "rule" for this story is that is has to have a happy ending. The endgame is happy. I just wanted to say that because of our recent reviewer Annoymous (you're so sweet!). Anyway, how it gets there is still fair game.
Long Days
It had been sunlight that woke her up. A deep sigh escaped her and her chest constricted on itself. She put a hand over her heart, reaching for her pendant. Her eyes opened to see daylight filtering through the window. An orangey red glow bathed the room. Then she remembered Merlin and ran up the stairs. She opened the bedroom door, desperate to see him again.
There was nothing.
The bed was still perfectly made. Not slept in. The bathroom door was ajar but unoccupied. The light was still off. She reached for the pendant again. He was still gone. She grabbed her phone. No messages. Her eyes started welling up. Morgana shook her head. No, she was stronger than this. She didn't need to cry because Merlin was missing. Not technically missing, he'd told her he was going out, only he hadn't told her where he was going. But why should she need to be clingy and desperate to know where he was?
Beyond the two of them knowing that Morgause would target them.
Morgana took a breath. She had to do the next right thing without him. She opened the door to her father's room. Mordred jumped down from the bed and pawed at her. She carried him with her downstairs and set him on a stool before refilling his dish. With him occupied she went back upstairs. Uther awoke. She helped him into the bathroom. A tiresome job. Somedays he was more mobile than others. This was one of those better days. Then she helped him back into bed and leveled him. Mordred jumped on the bed again.
She started making breakfast for Uther, and considered making herself some eggs as well before deciding against it. Her stomach felt ill at the thought of breakfast food.
Merlin's books seemed to be a futile effort in finding a cure. Morgana read over a journal Merlin had about witches and witch leaders; these seemed to be more biographically based than providing more research. She huffed and sat down in Merlin's chair. The clock read ten. Researching was proving to be a dead avenue. She started cleaning the house falling into a methodical rhythm.
Then she heard the door open. She looked over and saw Merlin walk in. Morgana scrambled to run to him, and he nearly lost his balance as she tackled him in a hug.
"Where did you go?" she demanded. "Don't ever leave me again like that!"
But she couldn't be mad at him forever.
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry," came out of her mouth.
"It's fine, love," he said. He stroked her hair. "I just got a tip from a friend on something that could help us."
She pulled away from him skeptical. Her mind wandered to Freya before abandoning it. She'd drive herself paranoid if she thought any more about something that wasn't there. He closed the door and brought something forth out of his bag.
"It's a book on meditation," he said.
"Meditation?" she asked.
"Well I asked Gwen how you healed me, and she said it looked as though you were meditating or praying. And I figured we should try to use that sort of logic to see if it'll heal your dad."
"You just now realized that could be a solution?"
He shrugged.
"So the book..." she trailed.
"Is meant to guide you on meditation. Try it out for a few days and see if we have any results from it," Merlin said.
"I'll try it if you believe this will work."
Merlin kissed the top of her head. He put his jacket on the coat rack.
"Has your father had lunch yet?" he asked.
"Erm, no. Not yet," Morgana admitted.
"I'll take care of that, of him. I need you to focus on the meditating."
She cleared a space in the sitting room and sat on the floor with the book. It proved difficult to read only in the sense that her mind wouldn't shut up. At least one page she had to read over five times since she couldn't make out the words properly. She tried to do the breathing exercises while continuing to read. Then she put the book next to her and tried to meditate like it had advised.
A vision came to her first. A large shadow made its way over London and she could see the buildings under her. Fire spurned everywhere. She scrunched her eyes. No, she had to focus on healing her father.
She wasn't sure what made the Triple Goddess assist her. And it came to her. Maiden, Mother, Crone. And she focused on healing her father and reaching out to the Goddess. It felt like eternity had passed as she repeated this cycle. For a moment she opened her eyes and saw that it had gotten dark. Merlin walked down the stairs.
"Do you want me to fix you something to eat?" he asked her.
"No, no I think I'm making progress," she said.
Her stomach truthfully was growling. No, she had to continue this path. And she continued to meditate through the night. Sometimes she could hear the footsteps of Merlin, and sometimes her father with him. And then the sound of an owl made its noise apparent to her.
Morgana blinked her eyes open. Daylight hadn't yet come through. It seemed to be a deep blue light warmer than before the sunrise. She wasn't sitting up anymore and found that her legs were straight together, and her arms were open. Mordred pattered his way to her. She looked over at him.
"What is it?" she asked, her voice dry.
He urged her to follow him. Morgana found her body seemed to roll as she got up. She pushed the door open to Uther's room. He looked up at her.
"Morgana, what am I doing here?" he asked.
She struggled trying to figure out what to say to him. He looked quizzically at Mordred who sat at the edge of the bed staring at Uther.
"You fell ill, and my... friend, Merlin, took it upon himself to take care of you," Morgana said.
"That's... very odd," he said.
"What do you remember?"
"I woke up, Bingley helped me get ready for the day. I had a breakfast. Arthur and Gwen called me to say good bye and that they were getting on their flight... then I was in my office to gather my things for a meeting. There was a... there was a maid, I can't remember her name but she brought in a woman..."
He stared ahead blankly.
"It starts... blurring..." he muttered.
"That was a month ago," Morgana said.
"You're joking. You must be joking my dear Morgana."
She shook her head no. Uther's face fell.
"Is Arthur okay?" he asked.
"Yes, yes he's very happy with Gwen," she said.
Reality seemed to come to Uther faster.
"Is it possible for me to get a change of attire?" he asked.
She went into the closet and grabbed him a set of his clothing. Morgana gestured for Mordred to follow her out the door. The door to her bedroom was closed. She rapped against it before opening the door. A lump was on the bed. Her legs were behind her as she sat on the bed.
"Merlin, my father's awake," she said, nudging his body.
He rolled over and rubbed his eyes.
"Morgana?" he muttered.
She kissed his forehead.
"We did it," she said.
He blinked his eyes open, and got up and pulled on the drapes. Then he hugged her.
"You did it," he said.
She pulled away, kissing his cheek. They walked out to see Uther standing in the hallway wearing his robe over himself.
"Where are we?" he asked looking at Morgana.
"London," Morgana responded.
"Ah."
Merlin side stepped them going downstairs.
Uther was utterly famished once breakfast had been put out. Morgana looked over anxiously at Merlin. Her father remembered little of his time in Merlin's flat, and she was just waiting on the other shoe to drop, that Uther would lash out against her and Merlin by extension.
"Merlin isn't it?" Uther inquired. Merlin nodded.
"Yes, sir," he said.
"How did you come by being a physician? I believed you were just in the..." Uther looked around observing the littering of books in the flat. "Librarian business."
"His uncle is," Morgana interrupted. "Merlin, of course, gained some background from that. But his uncle was also stopping by."
"I see," Uther mused.
The remainder of breakfast went in silence.
"Morgana, dear, can you please phone Bingley to pick me up? I'll be getting ready for the day," Uther said.
"Of course," Morgana responded.
"Thank you for the breakfast, Merlin," he said.
It would take Bingley a little over an hour to make the drive. Morgana paced in the kitchen with Merlin refilling her cup with coffee every once in a while. She heard the shower upstairs turn off.
"Do you think I should tell him? About the trip?" she asked.
"I think you should probably tell Arthur your father woke up first," Merlin responded.
"Well, well, well yes. Yes I should. But this trip... I mean, this is the first trip we'll be taking together."
He carefully pulled the coffee out of her hands. That had been too many cups after the one at breakfast. He placed it in the sink before putting a hand on her shoulder in a gentle manner.
"If you want to tell him, you can. I'm sure he would appreciate it," he said.
Her shoulders were too tense to relax into his hand the way she wanted to. Footsteps came down the stairs. Uther had put on a suit along with his glasses.
"You have a number of books here, Merlin," Uther stated. "Do you have any particular specialties?"
"Different religious texts, and some strange ones I've picked up along the way," Merlin responded. "I have a few copies of Hemingway signed among other authors."
Uther looked impressed. His phone beeped.
"Ah, Bingley is about fifteen minutes out," he said.
"Merlin and I were planning on taking a trip to his family house this month in um..." Morgana blurted out.
"Shropshire" Merlin finished.
The seven stages of grief flashed upon Uther's face.
"Alright then dear," Uther said.
He seemed to struggle with his suitcase before Merlin altered the handle rod. Morgana walked to the door with Uther.
"Do you... remember anything else about the woman that showed up before you fell ill?" she asked hesitantly.
"I don't, Morgana," he sighed. "Take care of yourself. I expect to have an increase in messages after this."
She opened the door for him and saw Bingley out front with the car. Uther waited patiently for Bingley to open the door before getting into the car, and Bingley moved his luggage into the trunk. She waved good bye and closed the door behind her.
Why had he lied to her? He must've known it was Morgause that had attacked him, known that Morgause was his daughter, and he didn't tell her any of it!
Morgana felt a hand on her wrist. She looked up to see Merlin.
"It'll be okay," he said simply.
Arthur and Gwen had been relieved that Uther had been able to recover. They'd been able to go out a few times since Uther's departure which felt like a relief to Morgana. They decided they would leave at the end of the month for Avalon. Mordred was coming along too, of course.
She'd gotten up early for a hair appointment. Merlin had been half asleep offering to drive her before she refused and insisted on taking the tube. And of course her stylist had pestered her for information on her new boyfriend (which felt odd since she and Merlin had never really discussed what their relationship was but it was powerful by definition) which led to Morgana giggling as she word vomited every quirky and adorable thing Merlin had ever done that came to mind. Then she had to explain the haircut was for a trip she was taking for him, as simply being in a relationship was less of a motive to come in. Just as she was finishing up it started to rain. Nearly a canister of hairspray doused her new ringlets. The rain presented a challenge she was willing to take. She thanked the new front desk girl and grabbed her umbrella as she started out the door.
It was a light rain and it didn't seem to bother her much. Merlin had never really taught her any spells or tricks to help on an aesthetic appearance, and she thought about how she wanted her hair to remain intact. The image of a bubble around her hair formed in her mind. She'd gone down a few blocks, nearly to the tube, before the rain started pouring down harder. She lifted her free arm to shield her eyes. And then a shimmer appeared in front of her. Morgana blinked, sure that she was too close to the street, the wrong side of a street that it had to be a car, before the shimmer settled. Morgause stood in front of her. Only her blonde hair was perfect and her feet were just barely a few millimeters off the ground. Morgana was stunned.
"You've been distant lately," Morgause smiled.
"What do you want?" Morgana snapped.
"Oh, settle down. I just want you back on my team. Remember how it was supposed to be you and me? It's always been you and me together in the legends."
"It's not going to be like that, Morgause."
"When have I ever led you wrong, Morgana? You asked for advice, I gave it, and it always worked out in your favor. I've kept you from bad decisions that could've ruined your career. Why did you stop listening to me now?"
The malice was ripe in Morgause's tone. Morgana held onto her umbrella tighter and dropped her arm.
"Because I found love. I found Merlin. And we'll stop you together," Morgana said confidently.
"Do you really believe that?" Morgause laughed. "Do you really believe he loves you? Are you sure he isn't just in love with the idea of you? Or is it that, maybe, you're an easy thing to fill a void. He's not like us. He's been alive for a thousand years, and he's still the same man. He's the same man that fully remembers the Lady Morgana. You don't think he's still in love with you and hoping that you can fill that void that she left?"
It felt like a punch to the gut.
"Oh my, I've hit a trigger haven't I?" Morgause mused.
"You're wrong, he loves me," Morgana protested, she refused the acknowledge the tears wanting to free themselves.
"Have you even ever contemplated why he loves you? What he see's in you beyond your reincarnation and your magic? Why would he ever love someone like you?"
Morgana screamed and ran through the projection of Morgause. She turned around. The image of Morgause had vanished. Her feet were still thumping against the ground and she ran to the tube, carefully navigating where her foot would land.
The station was relatively empty at this stop. She got into a car and looked at the window across from her. Her hair still looked the same as it had the moment she finished at the salon. She noticed her throat was tight and her breath was heaving.
Morgana:
Can you please pick me up from the station?
Merlin:
Np
Merlin (2):
Did I do that right?
She forced a half smile before turning her phone off and trying to wait for the next stop.
"Your hair looks nice," he forced out once she sat in the car.
"Thanks," she smiled.
He looked at her oddly before pulling out of the lot.
Mordred seemed to purposefully ignore Merlin when they got home. She sat in the kitchen with her laptop browsing between titles on streaming and rental services for most of the remaining afternoon. Packing seemed to be draining as of late, and her eyes were burning from reading through various grimore's trying to practice new magics on her own.
Then she saw Merlin walk down, wearing a short sleeved button up with a jacket in his hand. She looked over at him.
"Did I miss something?" she asked. It wasn't out of malice intent, she swore to herself, it just seemed uncharacteristically odd for him.
"Oh, um, Gwaine wanted to get drinks tonight," Merlin said, walking over. Her eyes seemed to focus on the newer muscle on his arms. "I told him we were leaving for an extended trip and then word got around and he invited his friends I get along with, and Freya, and some of my other colleagues."
"Should I get ready then? Or are you just..."
"It's people you don't really know and honestly, Gwaine's friends are prats. You wouldn't like them anyway. It's mostly the guys or guys night."
"So you're going even though it'll be mostly people you don't really like."
"I know them, and I know that it would mean a lot to Gwaine. You're not getting mad that I'm going out without you, right?"
Wasn't Morgause right?
She resisted the urge to give him a tick that would signal that she was not the very cool girlfriend she was. Yes it did bother her that he was going out and telling her at the last minute so she wouldn't have a good excuse to talk to him about it much less protest. Yes it did bother her that even though she knew that Freya was going despite the claims that it was mostly the guys. Yes it did bother her that he insisted on her staying away from this group of friends.
He stepped closer to her almost cautiously.
"I was just you know we could have an in house date night, it's Friday," Morgana said. Maybe she sounded more pathetic than she wanted, but the alternative was sounding as bitter as she was.
"My god, Morgana. I've spent weeks together with you, and staying in and I don't want to spend the rest of my life attached at the hip to you forced to watch movies back to back on your laptop. Does it really bother you that much that I have friends that care about me?" Merlin asked.
She really hadn't expected Morgause's words to come back to bite her this viciously. It seemed to be a full one eighty from the Merlin she knew. But did she really know him at all?
The shock on her face must have been visible because he knelt down in front of her. He held her hand, although it was limp in his.
"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me," he apologized. "I just want to get out with some friends before we go. And you'll have me all to yourself in Avalon for months, however long you want to stay out there. And tomorrow we can watch or do whatever you want for a date night. Hell, I'll even cook whatever you want for dinner! Just please don't be mad at me."
If his words hadn't stung the way they had, she would've leaned over and kissed his cheek. She refused her body this action.
"I'm holding you to that," she smirked. "But I'm really not mad at you, really. Go and have fun."
"You're the bloody best Morgana," he smiled.
He kissed her forehead and ran out the door. A sneer formed on her face. He really expected her to just be his willing puppet, didn't he? And part of her was afraid for Arthur. Her Arthur, who was always willing to defend her, who had fallen in love with her best friend, who had never had the weight of the world on his shoulders, didn't deserve to be guilted by memories of a past life that he didn't need. And she worried that Merlin would use Arthur the way he was tempering her. Mordred jumped on the table.
"Merlin would be very cross with you right now," she told him.
"Mewow," Mordred responded.
"You're right, he's not here and he's been an arse."
Mordred slunk into a bread shape.
"Do you think Morgause is right? Did I make a mistake trusting him?" she asked him.
He blinked. She rolled her eyes, and stood up. He tried to follow her out the door before she shooed him back in. There was a liquor store down the street that she was aware of. Morgana browsed before settling on a red, two roses, and a pink moscato she wasn't entirely familiar with. The clerk was a hyperactive French man and she wondered what could've possibly made him that energetic.
She sat in bed with Mordred with a glass of wine and the laptop in front of her. She'd looked up for a moment and grimaced. It seemed fairly unreasonable that Merlin didn't have a television and had a sort of blase attitude towards the possibility. Morgana looked through the list of movies she had complied earlier settling on the Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Daisy grew resentful of Benjamin. She poured herself a generous glass, sympathetic towards the woman. It didn't take her long to finish the rose and then the moscato. It was growing later, Merlin still hadn't come home. She threw on another movie and started her red.
It felt like she was swimming but not drunk. And there seemed to be a haunting feeling that came like a siren call. Cautiously, she stood up and held onto the wall. She'd found herself drawn to the study and looked around. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary. Until she spotted a peculiar standing of books and moved some over before finding a box. It was addressed to her. Inside was a black orb. It was addressed to her, how dare Merlin keep it from her! Mordred jumped on the new stack of books she had created. Nobody knew where she was which seemed to be a bit peculiar. But her curiosity got the better of her and she pulled the orb out and set it on the desk. Her head titled, trying to figure out what it did. Morgana sat in the chair looking at it. Arthur would probably make a Lord of the Rings reference to it, and Gwen would say that a crystal ball should be clear.
Then it seemed to glow. She leaned towards it; an image formed of Merlin in a bar, and she saw Gwaine's face become a focus before it circled back to the group. And she saw something move towards Merlin and the orb focused on him again. Freya wore a dark red blazer and what looked like a sad excuse for hot pants. Her hair had grown longer and was more wavy, it seemed brighter as well. She was leaning dangerously close to Merlin, pawing at his chest and laughing. He seemed to be laughing along now as well. And she saw the beer in Freya's hand as she urged Merlin to dance with her which looked more like swaying and she...
Morgana threw the orb across the room. The light went out and she saw a crack form where she had struck it. She went downstairs where she had left her red and filled another glass. This wasn't happening, this wasn't real. But Merlin looked the same as when he had left and the orb didn't seem like it would intentionally lie. Her vision was becoming too wavy where she relented and filled a glass with water before resuming the rest of her wine.
Her hand gripped tight on the rail of the stairs. She was too tired to truly let that kind of jealousy over take her. Carefully she placed the empty bottles back into the brown paper bag and moved it into a corner. Then she put her laptop away, anxious that it would fall out of her hands. Mordred sat on Merlin's pillow. He wanted to go out, fine. She could still be petty. Morgana switched the handle to lock and turned off the lights. She collapsed onto the bed, only hoping that the morning would be better.
Authors Notes: I'm so glad you guys liked the Uther arc and that made faster uploads really worth it to me to post. I struggled for a while trying to figure out how to wrap it up for the current period, but yeah that's definitely something that'll have an impact beyond this. I've been contemplating shoe strings so I think I have a better clue to how this is going to progress but still looking at shoe strings. Morgause's appearance and attempting to manipulate Morgana, big yikes. I hope this chapter was up to standard and you guys enjoyed it.
I've just gotten back home from my parents. In that duration I binged out LOTR and the Hobbit, and I really hate the last Hobbit movie. I enjoyed it but I'm still mad at it.