Lily woke to the sound of hushed arguing the next morning wafting up through the vent in her floor. As she rubbed her eyes and checked the time she first thought it was Cordelia arguing with that client on the phone, but soon Cordelia's hushed angry whispers gave way to a much louder, booming male voice. "Baby, please. Just give me one more chance." She heard the male say, and she crept quietly towards the door and opened it silently, listening in. Lily was never really one to intervene in her foster parent's issues, but then again, Cordelia didn't seem to be like any of her other foster parents. It wasn't that she didn't think Cordelia could handle herself, she probably could, but she was too polite to tell someone to fuck off, hence why there was an angry man begging for her to talk to him.
"Hank, please. You have to go. I'm already late for work." Cordelia said, her voice wavering slightly. Cordelia's voice was always so even, smooth. That slight waver was all Lily needed to let her know the woman was scared, and before she could even consider what she was about to do, she was at the foot of the stairs.
"Just talk to me, baby." Hank argued, practically yelling.
"You really should go." Lily said from the doorway, leaning on it as both Cordelia and Hank whipped around to face her.
"Who the fuck is this?" Hank yelled, Cordelia tensing up.
"None of your business." Cordelia said vehemently before turning to Lily, "Lillian, sweetie, just go back upstairs. I can handle this."
Lily stared at her for a moment and could see the overwhelming panic in her eyes. It didn't even take a second for Lily to risk whatever punishment Cordelia could dole out for not listening as she set her face and turned back to Hank. "You need to go." Lily said coldly.
"No." Hank said loudly, looking back at Cordelia, "I'm not leaving until you talk to me."
"You can leave or I can make you leave." Lily said forcefully, her voice raspy and unforgiving. She saw Cordelia's face drop as the words registered, her face going pale as she rapidly flicked her gaze between Hank and the girl. She hesitantly took a step towards Lily, and it almost looked like she was trying to protect her, almost.
Hank looked Lily up and down for a moment before letting out a laugh. Lily wasn't dumb, she knew she was tiny and not particularly threatening to a fully grown male, but she was also acutely aware of what she was able to do. She was smaller and maybe didn't have as much strength, but she was definitely more agile, and for her that's where it counted. "You really think you can make me leave?" Hank laughed out with a condescending smile.
Lily threw a purposeful glance at the knife block that resided a few feet to her left, leaving no room for interpretation. She watched Cordelia's eyes go wide as Hank's face dropped, and this time she was the one to give a terrifying smirk, cocking her head to the side. "Want to find out?" She asked, her voice still low and gravely.
She didn't break eye contact with the man, staring him down as he clenched his jaw. He tried to act like he was unbothered, letting out a breathy laugh, but his face showed his fear. "Fine. I'll go." He said before turning to Cordelia, "But you will talk to me."
Hank threw one last glare at Lily before letting out a huff and stalking towards the front door, slamming it behind him. The kitchen was eerily silent, both women just standing there for a minute. Lily waited for Cordelia to say something, but the woman seemed to not know what to say. "I'm assuming that's the creepy rose guy?" Lily finally said, Cordelia looking at her uncomfortably for a moment before nodding slightly, "I'm not one to offer legal advice, but you should probably get a restraining order. Dude's a psycho."
Lily didn't even wait for Cordelia to respond before she made her way back to her bedroom. She knew Cordelia was scared of her, she could see it written on her face, and forcing the woman to talk to her right after she just threatened to stab someone didn't really seem like a good idea. She walked into the bathroom and started the shower, and suddenly the thought of her getting sent away because of this flashed through her mind. Four days, that would certainly be a record. If Cordelia hadn't read her file by now, she definitely was going to after that. She felt fear begin to twist up her insides, curling around her torso, but it was only for a moment. She didn't care if she got sent away, or at least that's what she convinced herself. Better to leave now then later, and at least this one she could blame on herself.
Once Cordelia heard the shower start upstairs, she quickly pulled out her phone and headed to her office, sitting down at her desk as she dialed her best friend. "Babe, it is 9am. Someone better be dying." Coco said tiredly.
"I don't know what to do." Cordelia whined, practically slamming her head on the table, "I don't think I can handle this."
"Woah, slow down. Handle what?" Coco asked, now very concerned at her friend's tone of voice. Sure, she was used to Cordelia panicking, but she never sounded this scared.
"Hank showed up at the house this morning." Cordelia said.
"Wait, he showed up? Like showed up showed up?" Coco asked.
"He was standing in my kitchen begging me to talk to him." Cordelia said exasperatingly.
"Is he insane?" Coco asked.
"Just wait, it gets worse." Cordelia sighed.
"What? Was your kid there? Did you tell her about him?" Coco asked rapidly.
"I thought she was sleeping, but I guess not. And no, I didn't tell her." Cordelia said, "Oh god. What am I going to do?"
"Ok, tell me what happened, because I'm obviously missing something here." Coco said, trying to get the full story. Cordelia relayed the previous events to Coco and explained as much as she could, the woman on the other side stunned. "Wait, she threatened to stab him?"
"More like hinted, but yes." Cordelia said, rubbing her temples.
"Holy shit. I think I love her already." Coco chuckled from the other side.
"Coco, be serious here." Cordelia said sternly.
"I am! I can't be mad at her for trying to protect you, babe. Someone's gotta do it." Coco said, "At least now you know she actually likes you."
"You don't know that. At most she's indifferent to me." Cordelia said.
"Babe, you don't risk going to prison for someone you don't like. You didn't even know she was up, she could have just stayed upstairs and let you handle it, but she didn't. She was helping you, as terrifying as it was." Coco argued, Cordelia letting out a sigh.
"Ok, maybe you are right, maybe she does like me, maybe. But that still doesn't make what she did ok." Cordelia said, her voice getting quiet, "She has a history." She hadn't originally planned to reveal Lily's file to anyone, knowing if she told her friends they would insist she send the girl away, but this just wasn't something she could ignore.
"A history of stabbing people?" Coco asked.
"Yes. Well, no…. I don't know. She has a history of threatening to stab people, her past foster parents. I don't know if she actually stabbed them but…" Cordelia explained, waiting for the impending blowup.
"Did it give a reason as to why?" Coco asked, surprising Cordelia.
"Of course it didn't." Cordelia said.
"Well did you ask her about it?" Coco asked.
"No. Of course I didn't." Cordelia answered, "Why on earth would I ask her about it?"
"Because it would help you decide if she's nuts or just protecting herself." Coco said exasperatingly, "You're the one who told me her file would just be a huge cover up."
"Yea, well, she's not exactly open to questions." Cordelia said, "I can't get more than her favorite color without her shutting down."
"Well now would be the perfect time to ask. There's no way you two can go on and just not talk about what happened." Coco explained.
"How are you so calm about this? I thought the second I mentioned it you would be screaming." Cordelia said, confused.
"I'm trying to be open minded, ok?" Coco said, and Cordelia knew she was smirking on the other end.
"You just like her because she threatened Hank." Cordelia said with a smirk.
"That may be true. Maybe." Coco said, "But she didn't do it unprovoked. He broke into your house and was screaming at you like a mad man. If she did it to him on the street I would maybe be more concerned." Cordelia let out a sigh, "Listen, you were the one who told me there was more to this girl than you thought, and that was even after reading her file. Just ask her about it."
"I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but you may be right." Cordelia said, chuckling slightly.
"Well duh, I'm always right. You just never listen to me." Coco teased, "And we both know that even if this girl was completely psycho you still wouldn't send her away, so I don't even know why we are having this conversation."
"I know." Cordelia said, letting out a dramatic sigh as she rolled her eyes.
"So then trust yourself. You know what you are doing, you just want to believe you don't." Coco said, "Can I go back to sleep now?"
"Yes." Cordelia said sarcastically, "Go back to bed, Coco."
"Thank god." Coco said, "Love you, babe!"
"Love you too." Cordelia laughed, hanging up the phone and trying to psych herself up for the conversation she knew she would be dreading. She hated feeling like this, so powerless, so confused, but it was what she wanted. She wanted to help this girl, she just couldn't figure out how. Asking about the girls past shouldn't have been as difficult as it was, but getting anything out of the girl seemed to be a battle Cordelia had continuously been losing. Cordelia had tried to tiptoe around it, ask questions that were ambiguous, but that didn't seem to work. She could get her to talk about work and flowers, but not much outside of that. It was almost as if she didn't want Cordelia to know anything about her, like it was a weakness, and maybe for her it was. So how did Cordelia even begin to break through?
I like messy, prefer it, actually. It's real.
Maybe that was it, maybe Cordelia was going about it the wrong way. Maybe she was being too polite, trying to tip toe around the harder questions. Maybe she just needed to come out and say it, as messy as it was. Lily seemed to respond better to direct questions, questions that were based on facts. Cordelia thought back to the previous night, when she startled the girl. Lily didn't seem to respond to Cordelia's first attempts to calm the girl down, she only responded when Cordelia explicitly stated her intentions, as difficult as that was for the woman. Lily wasn't interested in being polite, she was interested in the truth. It made sense, given how many times she was tossed around from home to home. Cordelia didn't know what exactly went on there, but she did know it wasn't good, and she couldn't fault the girl for being so hesitant to accept anything Cordelia said, especially when she had probably been given hundreds of false promises.
Cordelia spent the rest of the day tied up with work, but finally the two sat down for dinner, and Cordelia tried to prepare herself for every possible outcome. She had to explain the Hank situation, as much as she didn't want to, there was just no way to skirt around it, especially now that Lily was involved. "So, um, I probably should explain what happened earlier." Cordelia began as Lily looked up at her.
"You don't owe me an explanation." Lily said with a wave of her hand, glancing back down at her food.
"Yes, I do." Cordelia said, "Hank, well, he's my…."
"Ex-husband. I know." Lily said bluntly, not even bothering to look up at Cordelia's shocked face.
"You know?" Cordelia asked, Lily giving her a slight nod, "How?"
Lily briefly glanced up, watching Cordelia absentmindedly play with her ring finger once again, then nodding towards it, "You always screw around with your ring finger when you're nervous. It's a habit."
Cordelia glanced down at her hands and quickly stopped her actions, feeling slightly defensive, "That could mean a lot of things."
"It could." Lily said carefully. But I was right.
Cordelia caught onto the slight change in tone, quickly realizing that getting defensive was not the best way to handle the situation, and she let out a chuckle, "Wow, you really are observant."
Lily met her eyes briefly, "I have to be."
"Had to be. You had to be." Cordelia said, trying to drill it into the girl's brain, but she was just met with silence as the teenager glanced back down and took another bite of her food. Well, at least it's good to know where she's at. But despite Lily's admission that she knew who Hank was, Cordelia still felt the need to give the girl some context of the situation. "The divorce was finalized a little over a month ago, and Hank hasn't been taking it well." She explained, "You don't have to worry, he won't hurt you." As Lily met her gaze, Cordelia could see she wanted to say something but was refraining, "What?"
Lily hesitated a moment longer, biting her lip, "Do you always assume the best in everyone?"
Cordelia was blindsided by the question, her mouth dropping open slightly. She didn't know how to respond to the question, but she could see where it was leading, "You think Hank is dangerous?" Lily glanced down briefly, thinking she pushed too far, but Cordelia urged her to continue, "Really, I want to know."
"I've seen a lot of different types of crazy in my life, dangerous and not." Lily said hesitantly, "He's nuts, and he's about one wrong move away from dangerous. You should be worried; he could hurt you." Cordelia glanced down briefly and nodded slightly, "Not that my opinion matters much."
Cordelia snapped her gaze back up to meet the girl's. "Of course it matters. This is your house too." She said forcefully.
"No, this is your house. I'm just living in it." Lily said bluntly.
Cordelia let out a sigh, realizing the girl's mindset was going to be tough to break. She couldn't really formulate a proper response that didn't involve her shaking some sense into the teen, so she decided to let it slide for the time being. "You really think he's dangerous?" She asked quietly.
Lily nodded, "I do. Especially to you."
Cordelia stared at the girl for a moment, confused as to why Lily would put herself in harm's way for the woman, especially if she thought Hank was dangerous. "Why did you come downstairs?" She asked, curious.
"What?" Lily asked, her eyebrows furrowing.
"I didn't even know you were awake. You could've just hidden out upstairs, but you didn't. Why?" Cordelia asked.
Lily averted her gaze as she gave a shrug, "You sounded like you needed backup."
"What makes you think that?" Cordelia asked.
"I know scared when I see it, or hear it." Lily said bluntly, staring the woman down, "You needed backup."
"What scares you?" Cordelia asked after a moment, purely out of curiosity.
Lily let out a sad laugh, "Not much anymore."
Cordelia narrowed her eyes playfully, "I don't think that's true."
"You don't have to." Lily said, not breaking eye contact. She didn't really want to continue the conversation, so she chose to get to know Cordelia a little better, although her way of doing it was maybe not the best course of action. "Who's Fiona?" She asked, watching about a hundred different emotions flash across the woman's features before being overtaken by surprise and a hint of discomfort.
"What?" Cordelia asked, thinking she hadn't ever mentioned the name to Lily.
"When I first got here you were arguing with someone on the phone. You called them Fiona." Lily explained, watching the lawyer slightly clench her jaw, then unclench it.
Cordelia stared at the girl as she let out a small, breathy laugh, "You really don't miss a thing, do you?"
"Not really." Lily responded, smirking slightly.
Cordelia nodded, glancing down at the table. She knew she would have to explain Fiona eventually, she was bound to show up at the worst time, as she always did. "Fiona is my mother. Me and her don't really get along…" Cordelia said before shaking her head and looking back at the girl, who nodded at her, "There's a lot of history."
Lily let out a laugh, "You really don't have to explain not liking your mother to me."
Cordelia let out a small laugh then nodded. "Can I ask you something?" She asked hesitantly, knowing the two would have to discuss the incident sooner or later.
"You can, but I might not answer." Lily said, but Cordelia could see the hint of a smile on the girl's lips, letting her know Lily was slightly teasing.
Cordelia sucked in a deep breath, praying the conversation didn't quickly turn explosive, "You threatened your foster father with a knife, why?"
Cordelia could see the girl tense slightly, her back straightening. "So you finally read it." Lily said flatly, Cordelia nodding, "And it didn't scare you off?" Cordelia just looked at her, so Lily let out a small laugh, "Damn, you're tougher than I thought."
Cordelia cringed slightly at the girl's language, but that was something that could be dealt with later. Lily didn't totally shut her down, which was a good thing, and Cordelia wasn't going to waste the opportunity. She let out a laugh and smiled slightly, "I don't scare easy, I guess."
"Apparently not, I'm still here." Lily said before leaning back and eyeing the woman curiously, "What makes you think there was a reason?"
"A gut feeling, I guess." Cordelia admitted, "You don't seem like the type to do things without proper cause."
"Did you miss where I threatened your ex-husband?" Lily joked, smirking.
Cordelia let out a laugh, mostly just to ease the tension, "No, I didn't, but even that had a reason." She leaned forward slightly towards the girl, "What was this one?"
Lily debated for a moment, weighing out her options. She could just shut down, give zero explanation. In fact, if it had been anyone else that would be exactly what she would do. But Cordelia wasn't just anyone else, and Lily was curious as to how she would react. The worst thing she could do was say that Lily was lying. "I had a younger foster sister, another foster kid." Lily began, Cordelia nodding, "She was nine, and one night I caught my foster father sneaking into her room in the middle of the night."
Cordelia understood exactly what she was getting at, but she also knew there was parts she wasn't being told, so she decided to push a bit. "What made you believe there was something wrong?" She asked.
Lily immediately knew Cordelia was trying to figure out if it had been done to her, but she definitely was not going to give up that information. "What other reason does a grown man have for sneaking into a little girl's room when he thinks everyone else is asleep?" She said before shrugging and mimicking the woman's words, "Call it a gut feeling, I guess."
"Did you see him do anything?" Cordelia asked, Lily giving her a funny look.
"What? Am I on the stand? Do I have to take an oath?" She said, and Cordelia could see she was starting to get defensive, which basically told the woman the answer was yes. Cordelia laughed a bit at the lawyer joke, but her face quickly dropped when Lily continued, "He's in jail now for distributing child pornography, so I'll let you be the judge of if I was lying."
"I didn't think you were lying." Cordelia said seriously.
"Well you would be the first." Lily said plainly, looking away from the woman.
Cordelia chose to back off, she could see the girl starting to shut down and the woman felt like she had everything she needed for the time being. "Are you going into the shop tomorrow?" She asked, "I have to go into work."
"Am I allowed to?" Lily asked, the defensiveness waning from her voice the longer she spoke.
"Of course." Cordelia said, "I'm not going to force you to just sit by yourself all day. I would much rather you be doing something you enjoy."
Lily looked hesitant but nodded, "Ok, I'll go in."
Cordelia smiled and nodded, "Ok then. Go ahead and take something from the fridge for lunch tomorrow."
Lily nodded slightly, knowing she definitely would not be doing that. Still, it was nice that the woman even offered, most of her foster parents couldn't care less if she ate. Lily wasn't blind to the fact that Cordelia had started to pick up on her weird quirks and adjust to them. Whenever the woman was home she made sure Lily had eaten, and if the girl hadn't she insisted she did. She had told the teenager multiple times she was free to take whatever whenever she felt like it, but Lily really didn't feel like taking the risk of eating something she wasn't supposed to or potentially moving something.
"Oh, and I'm having a few friends over tomorrow night." Cordelia mentioned, studying the girl's face to see if it was too soon.
Lily seemed unphased as she nodded, "Ok, I'll hangout upstairs for the night."
Cordelia cocked her head to the side, "Well, you don't have to." Cordelia said as she cocked her head to the side, before snickering slightly, "Although, after meeting Coco you might want to. She can be a lot."
Lily leaned forward to rest her elbows on the table as she furrowed her brow and locked her hands together, "I really don't think you want me hanging around your friends."
"Why wouldn't I?" Cordelia asked, Lily just staring at her, "They've been bugging me to meet you, but it's up to you."
Ah, so it's a token foster kid thing, Lily thought to herself. She should have seen it coming. I mean, what was the point of having a foster kid if you couldn't show them off to your friends? Still, that was the price Lily paid for living in a place like this. "Whatever you want." Lily said with a shake of her head.
The rest of the night carried on normally, and when Cordelia got in bed that night she breathed a sigh of relief. Lily was settling in, slowly but surely. She wasn't crazy, far from it, and Cordelia thanked her lucky stars that the girl had finally opened up, even if it was just a crack. That night seemed like a turning point, and Cordelia felt the tension release from her shoulders, like she had been holding her breath for days. She wasn't scared of Lily anymore, in fact, all she wanted to do was pull her into a hug and tell her that things would be ok, that she was safe now. Cordelia still had no idea exactly what went on in Lily's life before, but she could only imagine, and it was all she could do to not hop out of bed and call Lily's social worker to give him a piece of her mind.
As she tossed and turned, she thought about what Lily had said, about Hank. Did Cordelia think he could be dangerous? He was never like this when they were married, he always seemed sweet and innocent, that was until she found out he was cheating on her during his numerous "business trips". But Lily seemed to think he was dangerous, and Cordelia couldn't ignore that. She knew it could just be the girl assuming the worst, looking out for the monsters hiding under her bed, but she also knew Lily could see things others couldn't, she had been conditioned to spot situations exactly like this one. If anyone would know, it was her. So why was Cordelia having such a hard time with this? It should have been easy, she could just file for a restraining order tomorrow, it wasn't like she didn't have a substantial case, especially with him breaking into her house and showing up at work. But despite everything he had done, Cordelia couldn't turn her back on him, not ever, and she hated herself for that.
Lily didn't feel safe there, that should've been Cordelia's priority. It had to be Cordelia's priority, so why was she hesitating? Maybe it was because the girl said that he was a danger to Cordelia, not herself. Lily wasn't scared, she was scared for her, and Cordelia's heart picked up pace as she thought about it. If Lily was scared for her, that meant she had to care, at least a little bit, and that was all Cordelia needed to keep pushing ahead.