Zuko was working in the infirmary. His cracked ribs made moving- and breathing- hurt- but it was better to be working and helping people than the be thinking about the ones who would never get up again.

The infirmary was a mess- only the worst cases were actually in it. Some of them were slipping and Zuko had to be here. He needed to keep them from dying. He needed to save them.

Some of the prisoners had been badly wounded- they would be treated after all the worst of the Wani's crew's injuries.

The doctor hesitated over Yami. Gut wound- and a bad one. She was the worst off- Zuko still wasn't sure why they hadn't started working on her first. But the doctor knew what to do- he was saving people.

The doctor gave her something to drink and she relaxed. Then the doctor moved on. Zuko didn't understand- and then he did. Some people can't be saved. We're working on the people we can save. For a long moment Zuko felt like he'd been clubbed again. Yami- Yami was going to die too.

Zuko didn't know how to save her. The doctor was letting him help- was letting anyone help who wasn't needed for something else- but Zuko wasn't a healer. Zuko didn't know if the doctor was right- if there was really nothing to be done.

All Zuko could do was keep going. He kept going until long after Yami's final breath rattled out and she fell still.

…-…

The doctor sent Zuko to bed, saying that his hands were shaking too much for him to help anymore. He couldn't… he didn't think he could sleep.

Zuko found himself by the brig. The Water Tribe warriors didn't look very comfortable- there wasn't enough room for them. This ship- and the brig- were both rather small.

Zuko just stared at them for a long moment. They were tall people. He saw the Chief almost immediately. Hakoda was staring back at him. In a distant part of his mind Zuko knew he must look terrible- covered as he was in other people's blood.

"We treated your men," Zuko found himself saying, feeling dazed. "The doctor thinks they're all going to live."

Hakoda looked at him for a long moment, then nodded. "That's good to hear."

"If you want to care for your own dead five of you can be temporarily released to do the rites. You'll need to promise not to attack."

The chief nodded again. "I will choose the five."

Zuko nodded and just- kept standing there. He couldn't seem to move. "Do you need us to do something?"

"Why did you attack us?" Zuko asked- and he hated that his voice caught. "We weren't- we weren't doing anything. We aren't even part of this stupid war. We said- we said we'd do something for you. You didn't have to kill them. You didn't have to kill them. Why'd you kill them? Why is it so hard for everyone to understand that I don't want to fight!" He started out whispering and ended shouting.

The men were staring at him. Some of them looked distinctly uncomfortable.

Hakoda was looking at him steadily. "We gave you a chance not to fight- you didn't take it."

"That wasn't a real choice." Zuko was trying to point at Hakoda but his hand was trembling. He couldn't keep it steady. "We would have all died because surrender never works. It doesn't. You say you don't want to fight- but if they say that you need to- you need to get up and fight- then you fight. Because not fighting always hurts worse." His scar was itching.

Hakoda sighed, softly. "We are at war. We attacked because you are Fire Nation and the Fire Nation has been waging war against the rest of the world for a century. You say you're out of the war- fine. But how easy would it be for you to be recalled- for your ship or your men to end up fighting anyways? We saw a chance to end a future threat- and we took it."

Zuko stared at him for a long moment. He wanted to shout at them- he wanted to burn something- but he was just so tired. He turned and walked away.

Uncle had been organizing the cremations. There were five bodies that needed to go to ashes. Zuko still couldn't breathe quite right- but he needed to be part of the ceremony. The men had died under his watch- he'd failed them. He would be with them for this.

…-…

"We attacked a fifteen-year-old," Hakoda said.

Bato nodded.

"And we lost."

Bato nodded again.

…-…

Akimo didn't like or trust the Water Tribe warriors. They'd promised not to attack anyone while they did their rights, but who knew what promises actually meant to these people? Other nations had weird views on honor.

Akimo inwardly winced at that thought as he glanced over at the younger prince. Their nation had some weird views about honor to.

Akimo was one of the guards assigned to make sure their prisoners didn't do anything while they were dealing with their dead. He didn't like the job. It was hard to look intimidating when your prisoners were so much taller than you.

It was also hard to watch them just walking around fine when so many of their own were bleeding and dying or dead because of them. Of course, the princes had killed quite a few of their men with lightning in the first bit of the fight- the only reason the Wani had made it out safe actually, but still. They had just been defending themselves.

One of them glanced towards Prince Zuko. Akimo shifted so he mostly blocked the prince from view. Stupid water tribe. They really needed to be shorter.

…-…

The Fire Nation burned their dead. Hakoda knew they did but it was still odd to see. Hakoda gave his men back to the ocean.

The boy captain was still covered in blood- blood that was very clearly not his own. He was just… staring at the ashes that had been his men.

The old man, who was clearly more than an advisor, walked behind him, resting a hand on his shoulder. "It is not your fault Prince Zuko." He said. His voice was quiet, but Hakoda still heard.

Prince Zuko. Prince Zuko, who was traveling on an Avatar-hunt with his uncle. The lightning suddenly made a lot more sense.

…-…

It would take them two weeks to make it to a suitable neutral port.

Zuko had avoided the water tribe prisoners for the most part since that first day. But he had a question, and it wouldn't go away.

They'd spread the prisoners out a bit, making them work in exchange for getting out of the brig. Akimo was watching over Hakoda as he scrubbed the floor of the mess hall. "Hakoda," Zuko said, "You could have killed me. You hesitated. Why?"

Hakoda glanced up. His mouth twisted- an almost bemused, slightly bitter smile on his face. He sighed. "For a moment," he said, "You reminded me of my son. He's your age."

Zuko blinked. Why would that have made him hesitate? "Is your son a really powerful bender or something?" he asked.

Something about that comment set a fire in Hakoda's eyes. "The south has no more Water Benders. The Fire Nation killed them all."

Okay… "Is he a great warrior then?"

"He's fourteen!"

"… and?"

Hakoda looked even angrier now. He probably would have stood, but Akimo was holding his sword in a way that made it clear he wouldn't mind using it. "Why would my son need to be a powerful warrior or a great bender? How would that have anything to do with how much I love him?"

Zuko glared at the man. "It might have a lot to do with it!" he shouted, throwing his hands in the air.

Then he walked away. Walked. He wasn't running. He wasn't even walking that fast.

…-…

Akimo glared at the man who was still kneeling on the floor. It might have been more effective if the man had been looking at him.

"Come on," he said, kicking Hakoda's foot lightly. "I need to patrol. I'm watching you so you need to come with me."

Hakoda looked up at him, raising an eyebrow. Akimo wasn't jealous of that either. Raising both eyebrows was more effective anyways.

Hakoda stood though and walked where Akimo told him to until they found the General.

"General Iroh sir," Akimo said, "Captain Zuko needed your advice on our heading after we drop off the prisoners."

Iroh nodded to him, brown crinkling in a distinctly concerned sort of way. "Of course," he said, "Where would I find him?"

… Akimo didn't actually know.

…-…

Iroh knocked on Zuko's door. He didn't say to come in, but he didn't yell at Iroh to leave either. Iroh walked in, balancing a tea pot and two cups. Zuko was sitting on his bed, staring at his hands. He looked up for a moment when Iroh walked in, then went back to an intensive study of his hands.

Iroh set down his tray, setting a hand on Zuko's shoulder. "Prince Zuko, what's wrong?" he asked.

Zuko didn't look up. He remained silent for a long moment. When he did speak his voice was nearly a whisper. "He hesitated. The stupid water tribe warrior could have killed me- and he hesitated." Zuko laughed- not a true laugh but a barking, derisive sound. "He hesitated and…" his voice broke. And Ozai didn't.

Iroh sat beside Zuko, wrapping his arms around his nephew. Zuko let himself be held, leaning against Iroh.

"You asked him why?"

Zuko laughed again, a broken sound. "He said I reminded him of his son."

Zuko was crying then, crying in a way he hadn't cried in years and Iroh could do nothing but hold him. Brother, he thought, as he held the boy he thought of as a son, I will never forgive you for this. Never.

…-…

Many Earth Kingdom generals had known that a banished Fire Nation prince was on a hunt for the Avatar, but killing a banished prince wasn't worth the time it would take to find his ship.

When a group of Water Tribe warriors were released back to their fleet new information leaked about the ship they'd been trapped on.

Unlike a banished prince, the Dragon of the West was someone worth finding. The Earth Kingdom held quite a grudge against the only man who'd even broken through the walls of Ba Sing Se.