Zuko didn't remember much of the first time he'd put on Earth Kingdom green. He'd been focused on Uncle, but he still remembered that it felt wrong. The second time it still felt wrong. It kept feeling wrong as he tried to scrub the blood out of the original set, he only really had two sets of clothes now.
They had brought as much of their armor as they dared… but food and water had needed to come before clothes and soap and such.
The third time wasn't as bad.
As time went on, the feeling of wrongness never completely went away. But it did fade. Some.
…-…
The first time Zuko tried to sell something he felt like he was wearing a mask that didn't fit. He wanted to run. But Uncle was there, and his crew needed him. He stayed.
…-…
The first time Zuko counted out the money they'd made- made with their work, their skill, he felt proud. He'd never earned money before- he'd had money, money he'd gotten by virtue of his family, but he'd never earned it.
Zuko had sometimes wondered if he got an allowance because his father felt guilty, because his father actually trusted him to get the job done, because his father wanted to keep him occupied and away… He'd never really known why.
It probably had something to do with Uncle.
This was different though. It wasn't all Uncle- Zuko had a hand in the buying and the selling and the shipping… on a ship he'd bought. He'd never earned money before… but now he had.
…-...
The first time Zuko arrived at a small village they were planning on selling to and found nothing but ashes he'd felt sick.
There had been people here, people who'd built lives and homes here, and now they were gone. They were gone because his people had come and burnt and… what was the point of it? The Fire Nation obviously wasn't using this ground now- it was abandoned.
Zuko couldn't tell if they were dead or if they'd run, unable to make a living in a place so burnt, unable to start over on salted ground.
…-…
The first time Zuko got a commission was from an old, old man who wanted to send his daughter a present. They had to make their route all twisty to deliver it, but they did.
The daughter cried as she held it.
The old man had died before they'd gotten to her. Zuko wondered if they'd been able to say goodbye. He wondered what his father would do if Zuko died.
Would he regret banishing Zuko? Would he want him back?
Would he care? Would he even notice?
…-…
Zuko let his hair grow out in all the places it could grow. This was the first time that he'd let it grow since he'd first gotten burnt. He'd shaved it since then.
Hair couldn't grow on the scar. It reminded him of the Earth Kingdom village, the one that'd been all burnt up, no life left on it.
That train of thought didn't go much further, but if it had, Zuko might have thought about what Ozai was really doing to the world. About how Ozai was burning, not building. Destroying rather than sharing greatness.
…-…
They'd been in port for less than four hours when they got a message. A message from the Water Tribe fleet that had come into port directly behind them.
Jee felt his insides turn to ice, but he forced himself to read.
It wasn't what he'd expected. It was a request… a commission. A job.
They wanted Prince to deliver supplies and letters to the Southern Water Tribe. They wanted to discuss the terms aboard their ship.
Jee blinked.
They did need the money… but if they did this it would be some of the new crew members negotiating, to make sure that they weren't recognized.
He tapped the message speculatively, then went to find the Prince and the General.
…-…
Riko forced herself to breathe. Giana and Tadi were coming with her. She didn't need to panic about the fact that she was pretending to be the captain so that the stupid Southern Water Tribe men wouldn't come and try to kill them all.
Of the five newbies, Riko was the one who looked least Fire Nation. Which made sense, she came from the colonies after all. She was glad that she wasn't an earth bender most of the time, she wasn't a bender at all, but right now it would have been useful to have some skill that would help prove her to be from the Earth Kingdom.
Of course, Earthbenders had a thing against going on the ocean for too long in the best of cases. So, it probably wouldn't have helped anyways.
Riko made it all the way to the main Water Tribe vessel, and she hadn't hyperventilated yet. So far, so good.
The Captain, or Chief, or whatever they called him, was waiting for them.
"Are you the captain?" Hakoda asked, and Riko shook her head.
"I'm representing the captain." She said, "He has taken ill. I'm acting second in command."
Which was a blend of falsehoods and truth that would hopefully sound real enough to keep the Water Tribe men from suspecting anything.
"You have authority to make decisions though?" Hakoda asked, and Riko nodded. They'd actually trusted her to tell whether they should take the job or not. She wasn't sure if she appreciated it or was terrified of the responsibility.
He led her to sit down, and she expected him to produce tea… but he didn't. Riko chided herself inwardly for getting to used to the General and his habits. Still, she wouldn't have minded some tea, it was calming.
They talked, about price and when he could expect the goods to get to his tribe and whether they would deliver personal letters and how they'd make sure the letters actually ended up in the right hands. They talked about getting confirmation when the job was finished.
The Southern Water Tribe wasn't rich. Still, Prince could make a profit off of this job, especially if they stopped in a couple places in the Earth Kingdom of the way there and back. Getting some furs to trade wouldn't go amiss either, and the Water Tribes were well known for those…
They took the job.