"Would you ever go for someone older?" Ino asked between mouthfuls of chocolate cake. Sakura and her friends were out to dinner for her 18th birthday and of course, they ordered dessert.
And of course, they talked about boys. Ino gave them plenty of updates on her new guy Sai and Tenten kept sighing dreamily when she talked about Neji. Even Temari, normally tight lipped when it came to discussing romance, gave a few snippets about Shikamaru.
Ino's question was innocent enough but it made Sakura choke on her bite of cake. After regaining a sliver of her composure she croaked, "If the circumstances were right, sure." Really, she remembered loving that she could move through the stages of life at the same time as Sasuke, but she wasn't going to complain too much right now, not when they were miraculously together.
Ino was trying to determine exactly what Sakura's type was so she could finally set the girl up with someone. Dark or light hair? Older or younger? Artsy or athletic?
"Maybe in college, then," Ino said wistfully. "There's gotta be someone out there for you, Forehead."
"Yup, my Prince Charming is waiting somewhere," she laughed nervously.
She knew exactly who she wanted, there would only be one for her. He had dark hair with equally dark eyes, he was tall, he smelled delicious, he was smart, he was strong, he was sensitive, he was gentle, he was moody, he was stubborn. He loved his family, he took challenges head on, he was a great chef. He was protective and didn't like it when she drove or was away from him for a long time. He was frustratingly patient when she felt like she was at her wit's end. He was already her husband in another life but he wasn't hers to have just yet.
Her birthday celebration with Sasuke was a much more mellow affair. He invited her over for dinner and cooked all her favorites. It was just the two of them, and she was so, so happy. He could tell by the way she kept grinning at him and laughing at just about everything he said. She was an adult now, they could finally breathe.
"Do you want your present now?" he asked after clearing away the dishes. He had turned away from the sink to find her awfully close. It was like gravity wanted to pull them together until they collided.
Her features lit up, "How could I say no to that?"
He grabbed her hand, "I'll show you." He'd been buzzing with the secret for weeks now. Her 18th birthday was a special one, he couldn't get her just anything.
They didn't go far really, all he had to do was open the door to the garage to reveal a shiny new SUV parked next to his own car.
Sakura gasped and covered her mouth with both hands, rendered speechless. In the silence Sasuke quickly explained, "We'll have to work out the insurance to hide it from your parents and all that, but it's yours. Every fucking safety feature you can think of is in there. There's no rush, but I'll give you the keys now anyway. If you don't like it, I can get you something else, really." Her old car had been completely totaled in the accident and he hadn't bothered buying a new one until now, there was no need.
He attempted to be casual, but his palms were clamming up and his heart was racing. He knew it was a grand gesture, even more significant given their history, but nothing else felt right. If she drove this car and not the piece of junk her parents had passed down, he'd feel significantly more at ease.
She threw her arms around his neck, not caring that her tears were getting his shirt wet, "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you Sasuke! I love it! It's too much but, but it's perfect!"
He hummed and placed a kiss to the top of her head, "You're welcome. I'm glad you like it." Despite it all, he didn't want to come off too strong and scare her away.
She squeezed him tighter and said with as much sincerity as possible, "I love it, really. Thank you."
"Time for cake now?"
She released him and nodded eagerly. He took a final look at the car and shut the door, amused at the way she skipped over to the fridge. She ate most of the cake on her own; he only took a bite when she all but begged him to. With her cheeks full of food and her eyes closed in enjoyment, she looked like a little bunny. No matter her age, she'd always be cute, wouldn't she?
He surprised her by wrapping her in a warm embrace. "Happy birthday, Sakura." The sun had set completely, leaving the kitchen only illuminated by dim overhead lights. The house was quiet and he looked down at her fondly, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. He hoped she felt special today.
"You know what I want," she whispered, looking up at him with wide, pleading eyes.
"And I want that too, you know that. But..we can't, not yet," he croaked. It was so hard to stay away from her. Beyond just his sexual desires, he really missed being close to her, being able to love her without boundaries. But he never wanted to rush their relationship, not when they were miraculously gifted a second chance.
"Why not?" she whined, "I'm 18 now. It's okay."
"I know but..." he struggled with his words. A pause. He started again, "I don't want you to think that I've been waiting for this day just so we could have sex. It's your choice, but it also doesn't feel right that we do it so quickly."
"If not now then when?" Her eyes started to fill with tears of frustration. "If it's my choice, why won't you listen to me? Do you not want me?"
"It's not like that. I don't deserve you. I don't feel right." But no matter what his mind was telling him was right or wrong, he knew exactly what his body wanted, even what his heart wanted.
"You have me. You have me forever, please just take me. You've already made me wait."
He couldn't help but give in just a little. All he wanted was for her to be happy with him again. And the longer he waited past her birthday, the longer she waited, too. "We can...we can kiss," he mumbled, already moving his face closer. Sakura quickly grabbed onto his shoulders, not wanting him to run away. He backed her up against a wall and almost groaned at the feeling of her body pressed against his. He had missed her so much.
His breathing was shallow and all he could see was a sweet pink mouth just begging to be devoured. "Just a kiss," he whispered again before claiming her lips with his own. Just a kiss, he thought as he carded his fingers through her hair and pressed her against the wall with more of his weight. Just a kiss, he thought as her mouth opened for him and his tongue immediately pressed its way in. He felt feverish having her in his arms again, so open and willing for him to do whatever he wanted. Like a forbidden fruit, she tasted divine.
His hips rolled against hers, causing her to moan in delight. She remembered enough to miss this.
"We can't," he whispered as he kissed down her neck. Wecantwecantwecant his mind told him when her small hands slipped beneath his shirt and started exploring the hard planes of his torso. He finally gathered enough self control to rip his lips away from her skin, breathing heavily. Sakura whined at the loss, tilting her head to try to capture his mouth with hers once again.
"We can't. I promise I'll make it worth the wait," he vowed. The determination in his obsidian eyes made Sakura agree, made her untangle herself from the love of her life, made her hold onto her last scrap of patience.
Life went on. Sasuke held back, she could tell, but he was at least more free with his affections. Sometimes, he'd give her a certain look and she'd wonder if it would be the day, but he still kept her waiting.
Waiting left her mind to wander, though. Would she live up to his expectations? What if the version of her that he had in his head didn't line up with who she was today? Sometimes, she felt like she was walking on eggshells to avoid making a mess of everything. Was he putting her off so he wouldn't have to face his own true feelings?
She knew their first time having sex again, whenever that may be, wouldn't be some throwaway experience for either of them. She blushed thinking about how Sasuke surely had so much practice. Oh god, that was definitely a time she wouldn't want to let him down. He already knew where to touch, where to kiss, where to squeeze, she hoped she wouldn't fumble.
Even if that part of her life was stalled, senior year was a whirlwind. Graduating and heading off to college was on everyone's mind, and of course, before they got there, they got to experience prom. Most girls were dreaming of thoughtful promposals, stunning dresses and glamorous limos.
Sasuke thought he was picking Sakura up on a normal day, but he wished someone had warned him about the P-word.
"How was school?" he asked innocently. He drove off towards his house but as soon as he glanced at Sakura again, he made a turn to get her ice cream from the drive-thru.
"They gave us prom packets today and you're too old. I can't bring you with me!" she wailed. Her face was already red and splotchy, fat tears cascading down her cheeks. The information had clearly stated that no dates brought from outside the Konoha High student body could be older than 20.
"Oh," he said awkwardly. He remembered their prom quite well—Sakura looked beautiful. And they definitely had sex that night. Idiot, you can't tell her that now, he thought, annoyed that his mind had strayed that way. "Can't you just go with a friend?"
That caused her to sob harder, "All my friends already have dates! I'm gonna be alone like a stupid loser." Her emotions made it hard to be more articulate, but he could feel her pain. His heart was screaming at him to make her feel better.
"How's this," he offered as she continued crying, "you can go with your friends, even if you don't have a date. But, I will drive you home, with me, as soon as you call. So if you're not having fun, you don't have to stay."
She nodded and wiped her eyes. "You probably think this is silly. It's stupid, now that I think about it."
"It's not stupid." If it was affecting her this much, it wasn't stupid.
"I know you say it's fine but we're just at different stages in our lives and it sucks because I feel like I'm always trying to catch up to you and the old me." She sighed, then asked abruptly, "If I wasn't me, would you still have chosen me?"
"You are you, Sakura. That's what matters most. I don't know why it's like this," he said candidly, "but I'm not going to reject the second chance we've been given. I know it's hard. But I will take this over a life without you."
And Sakura realized how much he must have been hurt to have grieved alone for all that time. It split her heart, too, thinking of all the ways Sasuke must have shut down without her.
"Does it bother you that I don't always remember?" she asked suddenly. Really, all of life was about remembering. If their past life was already disrupted by her departure, then so fragmented in her own memory, how could Sasuke be satisfied with an incomplete picture?
"We both know this situation is not ideal," he admitted uncomfortably, "but it's better than…" Sakura got the point. She looked down at her hands for a bit. They had reached the drive-thru and she stayed silent while he ordered. She ate her ice cream quietly, too, and only spoke up when they pulled into the garage at the house.
"I try very hard, you know, to remember," she told him earnestly, but her voice had become thick and her eyes were shining with emotion. She looked so small clutching her own arms in the passenger seat.
He undid his seatbelt to face her properly. "Why? You don't have to. You don't have to do anything."
"But..what do I even do for you?
He frowned at her. He must not be doing a very good job at letting her know how much he valued her. His darkest days were the ones without her.
"You don't have to do anything." She'd always been like this, pushing herself.
"But is it worth it?" The root of the problem, her real question. "Is it worth the wait? Am I worth it?"
Sasuke shook his head and tapped the center of her forehead with his fingers, "You'll always be annoying, won't you?"
Emerald eyes widened in recognition; certain things triggered her memory, and the gesture, the phrase, surfaced so clearly at the forefront of her mind. She could never forget that. Her heartbeat sped up. "Sasuke…"
"You've always been my irreplaceable partner. Losing you was the most painful thing I've ever been through. Don't apologize for what you can't control. Go have fun at prom, and I'll be there as soon as you call." She was both something out of his wildest dreams and someone who grounded him. But she deserved to live her life as a teenager again, rather than being weighed down by worry for her adult husband. He'd be fine.
"Okay," she said softly. "I'll save a dance for you."
A/N: Um so, woof, still no sex LOL It is my true feeling that the whole barely legal thing is weird. So we keep waiting!
Someone wrote in their review that they wondered how the intensity of Sasuke's feelings would affect Sakura since she's so young and I thought that was really interesting! I tried to address it in a realistic way in this chapter. And I pulled a line from Sasuke Retsuden, we love irreplaceable partners!