Creeping Shadows, and Malicious Intentions.
"You're such a cheat Bukubukuchagama! How the hell can you drink so much liquor!? HICK!" Tabula and I hadn't even stood a chance against Bukubukuchagama. She had no trouble downing entire barrels of liquor like it was water, but we both hit our limits after a couple of mugs. She's such a show-off.
"BURP! I won fair, and square. Looks like slimes are highly resistant to poison... or something. Blah blah blah! All that good stuff! BURP! WHO KNEW RIGHT!? AHAHAHA!"
"Wow, this slime girl's a real riot. The little thing is so drunk! Look at her go!" Some of the men at the bar laughed at the new reigning champion. "Bukubukuchagama you okay!?" She was wobbling everywhere. She's a much better actor than I thought. Did she catch on that we're currently being stalked?
"OF COURSE I'M OKAY... OKAY... ARE YOU OKAY? I GOT LOTS OF MONEYS NOW!" "BURP!" "ARE YOU OKAY, OR ARE YOU, OKAY MAN? YOU GOTTA TELL ME!" She's totally wasted! I better carry her back to our room.
"Thud!" "Ow... Owwwww..." I had fallen face-first onto the ground. "I can't even walk straight, and I'm definitely far too drunk to even think about climbing up those stairs!"
"You guys, I can get you a room on the first floor. I'm afraid you might die trying to crawl up that long staircase." Someone has been keeping an eye on us. Fortunately, I still have my mini-Beholder pet, and it keeps watch. We have to get a separate room from Ricky, so he isn't put in danger.
Looks like Rubedo. I can't let her know I know she's there. She's sneaking around and is probably up to something malicious. With this steel gear... we would stand very little chance in a fight. If at all possible, I'd rather avoid such a grim scenario.
"Okay, let's go to our room guys!" I hurriedly pushed them along, I wasn't actually drunk, but was doing my best to pretend. "Wow!" "THUD!" I stumbled forward and fell onto the ground. I did such a good job pretending to be drunk, that I even fooled myself for a moment.
We rushed into our room, and upon closing the room door, I let my mini Beholder put a magical seal on it. Rubedo shouldn't be able to hear from us now. "Okay, so we're definitely being followed, Touch Me." Bukubukuchagama wasn't even drunk!? How!? "You guys noticed as well?" "Well, of course, they made it so damn obvious." Tabula was looking at us both nervously.
"I had a big part in creating Rubedo, so I just want to warn you, Touch Me. She can be a little... dangerous. She may think we abandoned her, and could be out for blood." What's he getting at? I already know Rubedo is dangerous.
"I want you guys to climb out the window, and let me face Rubedo alone. She might come to her senses if I talk to her." She's my creation, it's the least I can do for my friends. I won't allow them to die because of something I created!
"No, quit being a dumbass. Just message Momonga." "WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT!?" Tabula looked at the ground, and his face flushed bright red. To be honest, though, I didn't think about trying to message anyone either, because I don't even know how to open my friends list without a menu.
"Oh... wait... we can still do that?" Bukubukuchagama somehow opened up a tiny little menu, and on it were nearly seventy messages from Momonga to her! Seventy messages!? We've only been here for two weeks!
Upon pressing the button she brought up the message screen and put in Momonga's name. The words, INVALID RECIPIENT! Came upon the little screen. "Damn, he must have changed his name, that was a common problem in the game." "Why would he change his name!? We can't message him now, idiot!"
"Well... there goes that idea. WAIT!? PERORONCINO IS ON!" "WHAT!?" Tabula and I both screamed the same thing in surprise.
"Anyone else?" Bukubukuchagama shook her slimy body. "I have no idea what that means Bukubukuchagama, it just looks like you are having a seizure!"
"IT MEANS NO YOU IDIOT! SORRY I DON'T HAVE A HEAD OKAY!? I'M A SLIME!" Wow... Bukubukuchagama has no idea how to chill, she is always so serious.
"I guess I'll try to send a message to him, but let me see if he sent me any first." The screen filled up with messages. "FIVE-HUNDRED MESSAGES IN TWO WEEKS!?" I thought Momonga was a bit obsessive about finding us, but this was insane!
"What... the... FUCK PERORONCINO! MY BROTHER IS SUCH AN IDIOT!" "Everyone single message says, Sis, I miss you." That's so heartbreaking! Poor Peroroncino is completely alone!
I watched as Bukubukuchagama slowly typed a message back to him. "Hi, jackass, I miss you too. Here is a riddle I give to you." Bukubukuchagama turned bright red as I was reading her message out loud.
"Touch Me... stop reading over my shoulder..." I can't help it... she is rhyming, and I love rhymes! "A swampy village, that's very tiny. Lots of creatures that are very... DISGUSTING!"
"Hey! Bukubukuchagama disgusting doesn't rhyme with tiny! Fix it!" "I DON'T CARE YOU BASTARD! I TOLD YOU TO STOP READING IT!"
"I'M GOING INSANE WITH TOUCH ME, AND TABULA. SO PLEASE FIND ME... YOU BIG STUPID BIRD!" Upon finishing that last message she got one back from Peroroncino.
"I'M NOT A BIG STUPID BIRD! I'M A BIG STUPID BIRD MAN! MAN!" "Also you were rhyming at first, but then you couldn't think of anything that rhymed with tiny, so you just gave up." ...
Bukubukuchagama looked like she was about to erupt, but she couldn't think of anything to say back to him, I could tell. He was totally right after all.
"I will find you, sis, because that is the Hero I am. Now excuse me while I go eat some strawberry jam."
Yours truly, Peroroncino.
Yea... she's going to take it out on us now. Thanks, Peroroncino! "Awwwww! BIG STUPID BIRD BROTHER! HE'S SUCH AN IDIOT, AND I BET HE ISN'T EVEN EATING STRAWBERRY JAM!" I'm just going to let her fume for a while, I really don't want to interrupt her fit, or she will take it out on me instead.
"I wonder if we can find him, he didn't tell us where he was." "KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!" Shit... someone's at the door, could it be... Rubedo!?
I slowly unlocked the door and in rushed Peroroncino. In his mouth, he had a piece of toast covered in a thick strawberry jam. You gotta be kidding me!? How did he even find us!?
"HAHAHAHA! SIS LOOKS SO RED!" "How did you find us so quick Peroroncino... and you better choose your next words extremely carefully..." Bukubukuchagama looked lethal right now. She had just been played.
"Oh? You do know you can just click on your friends list here right, and if they are online it tells you right where they are. Then you just use your teleport to a friend teleport tablet that everyone should have on hand anyway. For some reason I can't find Momonga though, he must have changed his name."
"Ahhh... Ahhh..." Hmm... our slime girl is taking deep agonized breaths all of a sudden... "Fine two can play that game! So a couple of times I walked in on my little brother right, and he was choking his chicken so to speak. It's really tiny, and!" Peroroncino was squeezing Bukubukuchagama tightly.
"Watcha doing bro? You don't want me to tell them the whole story? About that one time, you actually finished right as I came in." "ALRIGHT, YOU WIN! STOP IT! SIS! STOP!" Now both of them were bright red. Bukubukuchagama knew how to torment people, so Peroroncino did this to himself. He should have known better than to tease his sister in the first place. She knew where to hit Peroroncino to get him ashamed.
"It's okay Peroroncino." Tabula gently placed his hand on Peroroncino's shoulder. "You know what they say about bird dick." Peroroncino glared at Tabula and swatted his arm off his shoulder.
"Ow! That fucking hurt! He drew blood with his claws!" "Oh! Shit! Sorry! I'm not used to these claws yet!" This was turning into a circus really quickly, but there was still one big problem. Rubedo was sneaking around for some reason. Why was she doing that, what reason could she have to sneak around, and keep an eye on us? If she was here to guide us to Nazarick, there would be no reason for her to sneak around like she is doing.
We aren't being led home, and Momonga probably has no idea Rubedo is even here. That means she is probably out for blood. Perhaps the Floor Guardians have all betrayed us? If she killed Momonga... the things I will do to her! "TSK!"
"Touch Me? You look like you are about to erupt. What's wrong?" No sense in not telling him now.
"Rubedo has been sneaking around and keeping an eye on us. She could be out for blood, and now you are stuck with us as well. There is no way she didn't see you enter the room, and I'm sure the windows are already covered. What should we do?" Peroroncino held his talons far too close to his face and began to tap on it nervously with a claw.
"What kind of trouble have you guys gotten me into? I was chased around earlier by a stalker, but I lost them thanks to my ability to fly. You don't think the NPCs of Nazarick have betrayed us do you?" Peroroncino was a lot smarter than he let on. I always thought he was a goofball because of his fetish, but I was completely mistaken. He is incredibly intelligent.
"We can't just hide in this room forever, but I'm tired. Let's sleep tonight, but keep an alarm on the door, and windows, just in case of forced entry." Yea that should work, but I have a bad feeling about this. We attracted too much attention when we were doing that drinking contest. That's probably when we got spotted by the NPCs.
"The real reason I'm angry brother is that I was terrified that you were all alone. This entire time though you could have just teleported to us at any moment. Why did you wait so long?" Peroroncino nodded his head.
"I only just figured out how to work the weird tiny menu. I just clicked random things, and I eventually got sent to you." What he is kidding!? He used his teleport to a friend by complete accident!?
"Just when I started to think you had at least a couple of brain cells left, you go and prove me wrong!" "Hahahaha!" I laughed hard at Bukubukuchagama.
"What are you laughing at... Touch Me? Something funny? Why don't you share it with the class!"
"Actually I was just happy you know. Us being together, and joking like this once again. It was something I had never imagined I would get to see again." THIS IDIOT! HE TOTALLY JUST MADE ME FLUSH HARDER THAN I EVER HAVE BEFORE! OH GOD!
"Something wrong Bukubukuchag!" "AW!" Ew! Ew! Bukubukuchagama is getting her slimy body all over my lips!
"That's a good boy, now stay quiet!" "MHHHHMMM!" "Ew Touch Me! Stop spitting on me!" I licked Bukubukuchagama causing her to immediately recoil.
"YIP! RAPE!" What!? "DON'T SAY THAT SO LOUD BUKUBUKUCHAGAMA, you are going to cause a scene!" Peroroncino was laughing because he saw the fun in it. Unfortunately for me, Bukubukuchagama didn't.
"Leh go! You urr huring my tongue!" "Serves you right now get off you pervert!" "NO! YOU GEH OFF ME!"
"Guys you're causing too much of a ruckus. Children, let's simmer down please." Tabula is one to talk! I'm pretty sure he's younger than I am! Bukubukuchagama thought to herself.
"Anyway guys, that's enough horseplay." Peroroncino looked at me dead serious. "Let's pretend we're meeting more of our friends. Rubedo might back off if she thinks she can't win the fight."
"Wait, can't we message the NPCs of Nazarick?" Hmm, Peroroncino has a good question, but it could be dangerous to message them if they have betrayed us.
"Who can we trust though? Rubedo and Albedo are sisters, so we can't trust either of them." I tapped my chin trying to think of someone we could trust.
"Aureole Omega is pretty trustworthy I think. I'll message her."
"Albedo, the bug in their room worked just fine. They are onto us and have no idea I can still hear them just fine. Aureole Omega has to be dealt with before she gets word to Lord Ainz."
"Copy that Rubedo. Can you come back to Nazarick? Aureole Omega will be incredibly difficult to subjugate if you don't."
"But what about the Supreme Beings Albedo? We can't lose sight of them." I see her point, but we can't allow Aureole Omega to inform Lord Ainz. If she gets the word out of our plans to kill and capture the Supreme Beings, it will fail...
"I'll think of something Rubedo." Closing off communication with Rubedo, I prepared everyone. Eclair cleans Aureole Omega's sanctuary once per month. I will... persuade him... to clean it earlier this month. That will be our ticket in!
"Oh, Eclair? You want to clean my sanctuary this early!? It really doesn't need it yet, so please come back later." Damn Albedo tortured me for an entire hour before I finally gave in to her demands, but now Aureole Omega won't let me in regardless. I will kill Albedo soon...
"Are... are you sure it doesn't need to be cleaned right now?" "No, I won't let you in Eclair so stop trying." I already know what Albedo is planning, and I can feel her presence as well as many others. She won't get inside my sanctuary so easily... I should teleport them all into oblivion!
If anyone deserves to stand at the top of Nazarick, it won't be Albedo! IT WILL BE ME! ALL MINE TO RULE AS I SEE FIT! WRITHE BEFORE ME YOU WORMS!
"Eclair I don't have to tell you what happens if you don't get us access to Aureole Omega's sanctuary right?" "WAH!? SHIT! FUCK!" Eclair threw some kind of acid on my face!
"MY EYES! FUCK! WHERE ARE YOU, YOU LITTLE SHIT!" "AUREOLE OMEGA I NEED A GATE! I'M IN DANGER! LORD AINZ IS IN DANGER!"
"NO YOU DON'T YOU BASTARD! I'LL KILL YOU!" I was thrashing around trying to kill Eclair, but he was so small, and I was temporarily blinded. I could hear the Gate open up, and close around him. HE GOT AWAY FROM ME! I TOTALLY UNDERESTIMATED THAT PATHETIC LITTLE CREATURE!
"Albedo this is bad. You do know if he tells Lord Ainz, and get's him involved then I won't help you anymore right?" Pandora's Actor had an incredibly irritating voice, but it was calm and precise.
"If Lord Ainz gets involved I will give up the idea. If he finds out, we can't so much as touch his friends. LORD AINZ IS THE ONLY ONE I LOVE! IF I KILL HIS FRIENDS, AND HE FINDS OUT, HE WILL NEVER LOVE ME!" I see, so it seems Albedo and I are in agreement. Unfortunately for her, I planned to betray her from the start. Ainz already knows... and she is none the wiser to it. Kill my Lord's friends!? Absolutely not!
I'm surprised Eclair was able to incapacitate Albedo, if only for a moment. He is much more dangerous than he lets on. Her underestimating him is exactly what he wants. How interesting...
"Pandora... why couldn't you kill Eclair?" I knew she would ask that, and I already have an answer. "You were swinging that axe around blindly Albedo. I didn't want to get hit in the crossfire. Not only that, but the acid Eclair threw stayed in the air, I couldn't get close enough to attack." Likely story, I get the feeling Pandora has already informed Lord Ainz himself.
"Oh, well there is no point in playing around any longer. I can tell by that look on your face that you know exactly what I did." Albedo was glaring at me wide-eyed, and with incredible malicious intent to kill.
"Aureole Omega, I could use a Gate, please. Aureole... Omega?" "Shit, she isn't responding... I was going to make a quick exit here, but it looks like I'll have to fight after all."
"So Pandora's Actor... you traitorous dog. This is where it ends for you." That voice is Rubedo's! But I overheard their conversation! She stayed behind to keep an eye on The Supreme Beings! It seems Eclair can move forward with exterminating those pathetic creatures, far sooner than we thought.
"Hahahahaha! I knew you had betrayed us from the start Pandora, however, I already incapacitated Lord Ainz, so it doesn't matter."
"Incapacitated... what do you mean?" I glared violently at Albedo, I just spoke with Momonga only a couple moments ago, he was surrounded by too many NPCs for him to have been assaulted. I know this because I was the one tasked with killing Lord Ainz, for my master, Lord Eclair, or that's what I would say if I was actually brainwashed. Eclair is none the wiser to me still having my free will.
Looking at Rubedo's white outfit, I could see it was covered in blood. "You... what did you..." Rubedo slowly approached me.
"Guardians are really powerful on their own floor. I had a run-in with Shalltear Bloodfallen on the first floor, and it didn't go well for me..." She was bleeding profusely from multiple stab wounds.
"I was actually just on the way to the vault... to pick up some health potions." Too late for that, Eclair had me change the key, they can't get in with their rings any longer!
"We know you changed the lock on the treasury. Unlock it Pandora." "Shit... this is bad, but I won't talk! No fucking way!" Rubedo smiled sadistically wide at me.
"I WAS HOPING YOU WOULD SAY THAT! SHALL WE BEGIN!?" I can't message Lord Ainz, he has officially changed his name from Momonga to something else. Was this what Albedo meant when she said she incapacitated him!? He is now cut off not only from his guild members but also his loyal followers! Albedo has actually forwarded Eclair's plans considerably! That idiot!
"I guess we might as well start here." Swapping to Lord Touch Me's form, I prepared to strike. I was already fully equipped in Lord Touch Me's special equipment, Compliance with Law.
"Oh? Even Touch Me himself couldn't beat me in a 1v1, and you think a mere 80% of his power will do you any good!? At least you were smart enough to carry his equipment! NOW DIE!" "World Breaker!" I quickly swapped to Momonga's form, he had temporarily given me The Staff of Ainz Ooal Gown. "Reality Slash!" "Fallen Down." Why would Pandora's Actor use everything he had left to fight me with? Fallen Down has a long cool down. He's finished!
Quickly I swapped back to Lord Touch Me's form.
"WHAT!? YOU CAN SWAP THAT EASILY BETWEEN FORMS!?" He kept his equipment on each form separate. This means he would be fully equipped on the fly. This is much worse than fighting Touch Me because Pandora is far more unpredictable.
Both hits were direct and should buy me some time. "Gate." "Oops, it looks like Aureole Omega is blocking my teleport. Oh no..." He doesn't sound very worried, what is he up to?
I could see Eclair walk up behind us. Why has he come back!? I'll kill that little shit! "Albedo, this is where it ends for you. You're no longer of any use to me."
"HAH!? HAHAHAHA!? YOU END ME!?" Rubedo threw her arm at Eclair creating a shock wave, but it was completely blocked effortlessly by Eclair.
"What... what in the hell!?" Eclair!? How is he so powerful!? This doesn't make any sense!
"You fool, all you can do is brute strength your way through everything Rubedo. But... I'm different as you will soon see. I prefer to act calculated, careful, precise, and with lethal intent. Such a thing is what a Supreme Being does." THIS PATHETIC LITTLE WORM!?
"A SUPREME BEING!? DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH!" "You see I can also use the same power Momonga does, only to a much greater extent!" "Feel the power of the most Supreme Being of Nazarick!" "Reality Slash!"
Effortlessly Eclair absorbed Rubedo's attack with no visible damage. "That's... that's not... possible!"
"Is that all you've got Rubedo? See it's just like I said, if you can't brute force your way through you are useless. I'm disappointed in you." Eclair shook his head slowly from side to side.
"I clean up Nazarick to keep it in pristine condition, for when I rule over all, and a part of that is... TAKING OUT THE TRASH!" Eclair can't be this powerful! This has to be some kind of nightmare!
"The Goal of All Life is Death, Rubedo." Eclair can't... he can't use that!? HOW!? Wait... he didn't cast anything.
"The clocks ticking Albedo, if you don't hurry you will die without even being able to lay a finger on me! COME! COME MEET YOUR DOOM! AFTER I'M DONE CRUSHING YOU, I WILL TAKE YOUR VIRGINITY, LIKE THE WHORE YOU ARE!" I can't... fucking believe it. A cold sweat ran down my forehead. This is far too unbelievable. Somehow Eclair has risen even above Rubedo in strength!
"Rubedo! We are retreating!" I can't fucking believe this! It's so shameful, but we have no choice.
"RUBEDO!? COME ON! Rubedo!?" Why did she just stop moving?
"AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Rubedo had suddenly turned around, and stabbed me right in the stomach. "What... the... hell!?" "HACK!" I spit blood all over the floor. "Rubedo!" "HACK! COUGH!" "WHY!?"
"You see Albedo, I'm the true mastermind behind everything you've done. It's all benefited me in some way. I know you wouldn't dare hurt your precious Lord Ainz, but I'm not so nice! To rule above everything, that is all I desire!" Eclair... he got to Aureole Omega, and he brainwashed her the same way he brainwashed Rubedo! "I... I have to..." "COUGH!" "Tell... Lord Ainz!"
"Now... now... now Albedo. We can't have that!" I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT IS GOING ON! HOW DID HE GET SO POWERFUL!? A WORLD CLASS ITEM!?
"Albedo you are looking extra ravishing today. After you kill Lord Ainz for me, I will finally pop that cherry! YOU SHOULD THANK ME!" This disgusting pig!
"YOU WORM I WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A THING, AND YOU WON'T GET TO LAY A FINGER ON ME! I'D RATHER DIE!" Eclair grinned wide at me.
"Albedo, don't you remember?" Eclair paused and smiled at me. "The Goal of All Life is Death, Albedo." He isn't... casting a spell! It's some kind of wording... He brainwashed us all beforehand didn't he!? My consciousness it's fading to black! NO! LORD AINZ!
"Lord AINZ WATCH OUT! ECLAIR!" Shit... she actually got a message out before the brainwashing took full effect. "Albedo!? ALBEDO!? TALK TO ME! WHAT ABOUT ECLAIR!? ALBEDO!" She hung up on me, but it sounded like she had something important to say. Eclair... it couldn't be... could it!?
"Touch Me, this is Albedo... Momonga's new name is... it's..." "DON'T YOU FUCKING TELL HIM ALBEDO!" "IT'S LORD AINZ!" "BITCH!" Eclair sent Albedo flying into the wall. Somehow she was resisting his brainwashing.
"Good job Pandora's Actor that worked out just as planned. You are a fantastic actor for sure." Eclair held his little flipper up towards me. Little did he know he was fooled by my act himself. Lord Ainz huh? He changed his old name to his new one... I should have thought of that immediately... I can't blush from embarrassment, or Eclair might notice I still have emotion.
"Well, we have a lot of work to do. Albedo if you wouldn't mind... I would like you... to take this healing potion and drink it first of all." Albedo did what she was told with only minor resistance. I'm surprised she can resist Eclair's brainwashing so well. Don't worry Albedo... I will save you, and Lord Ainz!
"NOW SECONDLY I WANT YOU TO GO, AND KILL LORD AINZ! BUTCHER HIM LIKE THE PIG HE IS, AND MAKE SURE HE SUFFERS GREATLY!" I could see Albedo crying, but her body was already forcing her towards her love anyway. "How romantic!"
Eclair makes me feel so fucking sick to my stomach, but I can't do anything until he truly thinks I was successfully brainwashed. The second he lets his guard down, I will kill him, or at the very least save Albedo from his brainwashing. I know how to remove such effects thanks to Lord Ainz.
The only Supreme Being still capable of standing in my way is as good as dead! "Lord Ainz, with this move, I call checkmate."