Harry was on the Hogwarts Express in a compartment with Ron, Hermione, Neville, Luna, and Ginny. Thankfully, Ron and Ginny seemed to have resolved their argument– their argument about Harry– so the atmosphere was more pleasant than it could have been, though it was still tinged with an undercurrent of discomfort.

Harry knew that the discomfort in the air was entirely his fault. His friends were uncomfortable because they were worried about his choices for the holiday.

Though he felt guilty for making his friends uncomfortable, Harry knew it was the best decision he could have made– really, it was the only decision he could have made. Because there was no way that Harry could have chosen to set aside his concerns about his friends' safety just so he could go home with them.

As the train neared London, Harry began to feel more tense and anxious as the prospect of seeing the Dursleys loomed over him. And he thought his friends had also grown more tense, though he might have just been projecting his own tension onto them.

The morning after McGonagall announced Hogwarts' evacuation, Harry had sent a letter to Aunt Petunia, telling her that he would be returning for the holidays and that he would need to be picked up from King's Cross station.

He had received no reply, but Hedwig had returned without the letter, so Harry had to assume that the letter had been received and the Dursleys would be there.

Just in case, though, Harry had given Hermione some galleons in exchange for pounds so he would be able to get himself to Privet Drive if necessary.

When the train pulled into the station, Harry reluctantly got to his feet and began to collect his things.

"Could you pass me my coat?" Hermione asked.

Harry looked and saw that it was pinned under his duffle. He slung his duffle over his shoulder, then handed Hermione her coat. Harry had already pulled his own on: another hand-me-down from Dudley. It was maybe three years old and had lost one of its buttons long before it had gone to Harry.

It was threadbare in places and dingy overall, but Harry was just grateful he had anything at all. Winter could be terribly cold, and he was far too aware that Aunt Petunia could have easily forgotten to give him one. And then he would have been forced to try and keep warm by layering Dudley's sweaters– none of which were particularly warm to begin with.

"Is that everything?" Ginny asked, looking around the still-packed compartment.

"I think so," Neville replied.

"We'd better head out then," Hermione said, making no move to leave.

"Right," Ron said, equally immobile.

Harry shifted his feet. He knew what they were doing, and he appreciated it, but he was going to have to see the Dursleys eventually. If they were already at the station, it would be better for Harry's well-being if he didn't keep them waiting. And if they weren't here yet, then there was nothing to be gained by delaying their departure from the compartment, because Harry could just as easily spend the time with his friends out on the platform as he could in here.

But Harry was towards the back of the compartment, so he remained still, soaking in the last few moments left before he had to leave his friends for what was sure to be a horrible holiday with the Dursleys.

"So… are we going to move?" Neville asked, after a moment. "Only, my Gran's probably waiting, and she doesn't like to be kept waiting."

Ron and Hermione exchanged a sad look, and Ron pulled the compartment door open. "Guess we ought to go," he said glumly.

Hermione was the first one through the door, and the rest of them filed after her, Ron closing the door behind them.

"So, who's going to be getting you?" Harry asked Ron, just for the sake of conversation while they exited the train.

"Mum, of course, and I think the twins closed the shop for the day," Ron said. "Dad, Bill, Charlie, and Percy are all still busy at work at this time."

Harry nodded. He supposed that meant he would have a long wait, then. Harry was already uncertain if Uncle Vernon would come to get him, and he also knew that there was absolutely no way that Uncle Vernon would take off work to do so.

When they stepped out onto the platform, Harry sucked in a startled breath. It wasn't too terribly cold out, but there was a biting wind that sliced right through his coat, seeming to reach all the way down to his bones. Harry shoved his hands into his pockets and hunched his shoulders to try and conserve as much warmth as possible.

"There's our Mum," Ron said, pointing to where Mrs Weasley was standing on the other side of the station, framed on either side by Fred and George.

Harry quickly shifted his gaze to the rest of the waiting crowd in the half-hearted hope that he would see Uncle Vernon.

"Won't you at least come say hi?" Ron asked plaintively.

Harry was trying to think of a response when he spotted Petunia standing just inside the barrier, as far away from the waiting crowd of parents as she could. He shook his head in response to Ron's question and said, "I can't– Aunt Petunia's here."

He knew that Aunt Petunia would have his head if he pointed at her while they were in a crowd of wizards, so he refrained from doing so. Instead, he took a step over to where she was standing.

"Wait! Give me a hug before you go," Hermione exclaimed, grabbing his hand.

Harry blinked but quickly acquiesced. It was only a brief hug, but it still left Harry feeling off-kilter for some indefinable reason. As soon as Hermione released him, Ginny pulled him into a hug too, one just as brief, but with a tight squeeze at the end that brought a lump to Harry's throat. Finally, Ron grabbed him, hugging him tightly and slapping his back a few times before letting go.

"I have to go guys," Harry said around the lump in his throat, taking another step towards Petunia.

"Goodbye, Harry," Hermione said, her eyes overly shiny.

"Keep an eye out for Pig," Ron said gruffly.

Harry ducked his head in a sharp nod, then spun on his heel and marched towards Petunia before he could truly lose control. He still hadn't spotted Uncle Vernon, but Petunia was no safer to have a break down in front of than Uncle Vernon was.

To that end, he carefully cleared his throat several times on his way over to Petunia. When he drew near, her eyes darted over the crowd before her hand darted out to wrap around his wrist in a tight, painful grip, pressing the tendons to the bone.

"Let's go," she hissed under her breath.

Harry clenched his teeth against his instinct to react, against his desire to pull away from her painful grip, but he knew that pulling away would only upset her, that she would think he was causing a scene.

Petunia flinched violently as she pulled him through the passageway off the platform, but her pace failed to falter or change in any way.

"Where's Uncle–" Harry tried to ask.

"Not now," Petunia snapped.

Harry clamped his mouth shut again, an echo of fear rising within him. He couldn't understand why Petunia would have come alone to retrieve him from the train station; she was utterly terrified of wizards, and there was nowhere else Petunia could access that had a higher concentration of them.

For Aunt Petunia to have braved this trip, something drastic must have occured.

Aunt Petunia's punishing pace meant they arrived at the car in record time. That was another reason that Aunt Petunia's presence could mean nothing good– she must have had to drive Uncle Vernon in to work today to be able to have the car to come pick Harry up, so they would also have to go pick up Uncle Vernon after this.

"Put your– things in the boot," Aunt Petunia said.

Harry went to stand by the rear of the car, waiting for Aunt Petunia to press the button that would open the boot. It took another moment in which Harry was left shivering in the wind, but then it opened, and Harry was able to place his duffle and backpack in. He closed the lid, then moved around the car to get in.

For a moment he was frozen with indecision, unable to decide whether Aunt Petunia would want him to sit in the passenger seat or in the back seat. In the back seat he'd be farther away from her, but it would look odd to other people if he was in the back without anyone in the front seat.

Then Aunt Petunia gestured sharply at the passenger seat. Harry pulled the door open and sat down.

Aunt Petunia's eyes shifted to stare straight ahead as she got the car started. "I am not your chauffeur," she said.

Harry nodded, not sure what else to say to that and unwilling to bring up the subject of Uncle Vernon again so soon.

After several long moments spent in utter, awkward silence, Aunt Petunia spoke up again.

"Vernon didn't want either of us to come get you at all."

"Thank–" Harry tried to say, to express his gratitude for Aunt Petunia talking his uncle around.

"But I told him we had to," Aunt Petunia continued, cutting Harry off. "They would have gone spare if we'd left you to languish at the train station, no matter that we're not supposed to have to deal with you until the summer.

"Vernon is rightfully upset about the whole situation. I worry that he may not be able to control himself should he be confronted with your presence. To prevent anything from happening, I will be locking you in your room for the duration of the holidays.

"You will be utterly silent at all times. If that means providing you with duct tape so you don't make those infernal noises in your sleep, then so be it. When Vernon is out, I will let you out to use the toilet and refill your water glass. Otherwise, you will not be leaving your room."

Harry nodded along as she spoke, his hands twisting around in his lap. When she finally stopped speaking, he whispered, "Yes, Aunt Petunia. I'll be quiet."

"You'll be silent," Aunt Petunia countered.

Harry nodded again, torn between answering verbally and holding his silence because she expected him to be silent for the entirety of the break. When she failed to express her displeasure at his continued silence, he released a short– but silent– sigh of relief.

But then as the silence stretched out while Aunt Petunia continued to drive, all he had to think on was what she had said. That he would be locked in his room the entire time, that he would need to be utterly silent the entire time.

At least he no longer had to worry about Voldemort-induced nightmares, as those tended to be the most violent– though his regular dreams were as bad as ever, even if they weren't quite as disruptive. Harry hoped he would be able to adequately muffle his cries with his pillow– or maybe with a sweater. Because he was sure that if he made so much as one sound in his sleep, Aunt Petunia would ensure that he never went to sleep again without some kind of gag– duct tape, she had said.

Pushing that thought aside with a shudder, Harry realized what she hadn't mentioned. At no point had she said anything at all about feeding him. Between the summer before his second year when they had fed him and Hedwig a single can of soup a day, and the summer he'd spent on Dudley's diet, Harry knew that they would have no qualms at all about neglecting to feed him.

At least this time he wouldn't have to worry about Hedwig languishing along with him.

But he didn't know for sure that Aunt Petunia would even give him that much food. She had mentioned all his other needs, but she had not mentioned food. That could mean that she wasn't planning to feed him at all– all the better to ensure that he didn't have the energy to make noise and draw Uncle Vernon's wrath.

Harry did the maths to determine how long the break was– about two weeks. Then he tried to remember how long it was said to take a person to starve to death, but he couldn't remember any specific numbers. He didn't think it took less than two weeks, but he couldn't be sure.

Well, he just had to hope that, between Aunt Petunia and Mrs Weasley, he would get enough to survive.

Severus absently tapped his fingers against his armrest. After Minerva's request that all the students stay safe from Bellatrix over break, she had been inundated by a fleet of owls demanding higher security measures for the train.

He had to scoff at the ridiculousness of it all. The parents would never have thought to harass Dumbledore like that, but now that he was gone, everyone thought they knew how to run Hogwarts best– and therefore they took great joy in informing Minerva of their opinions.

So to alleviate those fears, Minerva had asked Severus to ride the train and guard the platform until all the students had been picked up.

It was far from the worst thing he had ever been asked to do, but he did have better things to do with his time than babysitting the train. Although he did appreciate the chance to see Harry off with his friends. Severus assumed Harry was going home with the Weasleys– or with one of his other friends, since they were all sitting together.

On his periodic patrols of the train, Severus had made a point of checking in on Harry's compartment in particular. Severus told himself that it was because trouble, if it happened, was most likely to break out there. But really he was just taking advantage of the opportunity to see Harry in an environment that was not the strained atmosphere of the Potions classroom.

When the train began its deceleration into the station, Severus got to his feet and hurried towards the exit so he would be the first off the train. The safety of the platform already ought to have been confirmed by the Aurors, but Severus would rather not put the students at risk based on the word of someone else.

So when the train doors opened, Severus drew his wand and hurried out, his eyes scanning the crowds of gathered parents for even a hint of a threat.

It was quickly apparent that there were no threats present, at least for now. Severus kept his wand in his hand and slid it up his sleeve so it would be ready for use at a moment's notice, if need be. Then he began to pace the perimeter of the station, keeping an eye out for trouble.

After perhaps his third or fourth circuit, he spotted the two younger Weasleys and Granger, but Harry was nowhere to be seen. Severus immediately altered his course to greet them.

"Where is Potter?" Severus asked, coming to a halt next to the children.

The two Weasleys exchanged suspicious looks. The Weasley boy opened his mouth, then closed it again when Granger stomped on his foot.

"Harry is going to the Dursleys for the holidays," Granger said.

"Hermione!" hissed the Weasley boy.

"He is an adult!" Granger hissed back, heedless of Severus's continued presence. "He could fix this!"

Severus blinked, Granger's words failing to register for a moment. "Do you have any idea what would possess Potter to do that?" he finally asked.

"He just kept saying it would be too dangerous to go home with us," the Weasley girl said reluctantly.

The other Weasley and Granger both nodded in agreement. Then the Weasley boy said, "I think he thought that if he couldn't be under the Hogwarts wards, his next safest bet would be the blood wards."

But blood wards weren't worth returning to an abusive household. Nothing was.

Severus glanced around the still bustling train station in frustration. He had been ordered to stay here until the station emptied of students, but in light of the news, he wanted nothing more than to get to Minerva and discuss options for fixing the situation.

"I will be addressing the situation as soon as possible," Severus said. Then, a heartbeat later, "I appreciate the information."

"You'd better be," the Weasley boy said, in a tone he probably thought was threatening.

Severus merely glanced at him before resuming his circuit of the station.

When the last student finally, finally stepped through the barrier with their parents a short while later, Severus apparated away to Hogwarts.

It was times like this, when the situation was urgent, that Severus truly disliked the immutability of the Hogwarts wards that prevented him from apparating directly into the castle– or even just to the castle doors. At least Minerva had no intention of beginning the turnover ritual until the day after tomorrow, because Severus needed to speak with her now.

The walk through the grounds passed in a blur, as did his passage through the castle to Minerva's office. He called out the password to the gargoyle when he was still halfway down the hallway so that it would have time to get out of his way by the time he got there.

He hurried up the moving staircase, glad to have something to accelerate his speed, as he was quickly becoming fatigued.

Thankfully, Minerva was seated at her desk and doing paperwork when Severus hurried into her office.

"Severus, to what do I owe the pleasure?" Minerva greeted him.

"Were you aware that Potter has gone home to his relatives for the holidays?" he asked.

Minerva's pleasant expression morphed into one of confusion. "No, I assumed he would be visiting the Weasleys since he never came to speak to me about alternate arrangements."

"While at the station, Potter's friends informed me that Potter had gone home because he felt it would be safer there," Severus explained.

"Well, I suppose that is true," Minerva said.

Severus released an aggravated breath. "Yes, but it's not worth it when he is being abused there!"

At this, Minerva sat up attentively. "Abuse? What did you find out? When?"

Severus met her gaze. "I do not have any concrete evidence. Potter has never told me anything specific. But during my time as Eli, I observed behaviours and warning signs that, altogether, have no other possible explanations."

Minerva hissed. "I told Albus that they were the worst sort of muggles–" she cut herself off with a shake of her head. A beat later, she continued, "I suppose I should have thought of the possibility that you would uncover something like this when you went undercover. Is there a reason you waited so long to inform me of your discovery?"

"I was hopeful that Potter could be convinced to provide a full confession first. I had believed that there would be time before the end of the school term to coax it out of him."

There was a short silence as Minerva considered this. "I can accept that, though I would have preferred it if you had shared this information with me sooner. That aside, do you have a plan? Without more evidence, we can't permanently remove him from their household or prosecute the family."

Severus tapped his finger against his wand as he thought. "What if it wasn't permanent?" he asked. "I could retrieve Potter from his relatives for the duration of the holidays, and we can use the intervening time between now and end of term to decide how to permanently remove him from their custody."

"That's a sound plan, but where would you take him once you retrieved him?" Minerva asked. "Unfortunately, he still cannot reside here, and if he was already willing to return to an abusive household rather than with his friends, I cannot imagine he would be easily convinced into other alternatives."

"I could take him home with me," Severus heard himself say, the words drawn from his mouth without forethought or consideration. But, a moment later he decided that they were ones that he would have said no matter what.

Minerva raised her eyebrows. "You would be willing to do that?"

"I am hardly heartless. If this is what it takes to get him out of that household, then I am more than willing to do it," Severus said, trying to hide the indignation he felt. To calm himself further, he reminded himself that Minerva was not privy to his changed opinion of Potter and had no way of knowing that his opinion had changed so dramatically.

"Very well. He will be as safe as anywhere at your home, and you are certainly far more capable of taking care of him," Minerva said.

Severus wondered if that was supposed to be a threat or warning, but decided that she was merely convincing herself of the validity of the plan.

"Unfortunately, my house is not currently in a fit state for a guest," Severus said, attempting to hide his discomfort at the admission. "Several of the rooms require renovation before they will be habitable. Your assistance would be greatly appreciated in expediting the process."

Minerva nodded and began to get to her feet. "I would be happy to help, but I'm afraid we must leave now. I have a meeting in the Ministry later today, and I am sure you wish to retrieve Harry quickly."

"Then let us go," Severus said, walking over to the floo. "I believe the Floo would be the most efficient way to get there."

"After you," Minerva said, gesturing at the pot of floo powder.

Severus nodded and took a handful of powder, tossing it into the flames and calling, "Spinner's End."

AN: alt chapter title: its not about the journey its abt the Destination 😥✌️ let me know what you thought!