Author's Note: I apologise for the wait between this chapter and the last one, but I've been working on "Our Miracle" and haven't had much time to update this one recently. I hope that you all like this chapter, though, and happy reading! :)

Even though there was an ache in her heart while she looked through some old photographs of herself and Edward, there was still a gentle smile on Anna's lips as she thought back to memories that they had made over the years. If she had to choose a favourite memory, then it would be telling him that she was pregnant. She had wanted to surprise him with the news rather than just tell him, and so she had rushed home from the hospital and spent all afternoon knitting a little outfit for their child. When he had come home from work that night, she'd greeted him at the door and kissed him before taking him into the sitting room. That was when she had surprised him with the tiny outfit.

Surprisingly, he had been somewhat confused until she had reached for his hand and brought it to rest on her stomach through her dress. He had burst into tears when she had told him that he was going to be a daddy, but his reaction hadn't shocked her in the slightest. Since their courting days, he had gone on and on about how perfect it would be to start a family with her. Unfortunately, just weeks after their wedding night, she had lost their first child. She hadn't even known that she had been pregnant until the doctor had confirmed it. Edward had been just as heartbroken as she had in the weeks after their loss, and so his reaction to her being pregnant again hadn't shocked her.

Both of them had known that there was a chance that she would miscarry again, however, and so they'd tried not to get their hopes up too much until she had felt the first little kick. It had been the most magical feeling and she had yearned for him to be able to feel it as well. She hadn't had to wait long. Just months later, it had seemed as though their child had never stopped kicking or moving around within her. Thinking back to that time now, knowing how much Jack loved to run around in the garden with his sisters and play a game of football with his friends, it didn't surprise her that he had never kept still. Even before he had entered the world, he had been such a lively little thing.

Her pregnancy with Jack had been a breeze and she had loved every minute of it, but she was unable to say the same about giving birth to him. He had decided to take his time, and so she had been in agonizing labour with him for just short of sixteen hours before finally being able to hold him in her arms. The pain had been so worth it, though. She had been blessed with the most handsome baby boy who had done nothing but stare at her for the first hour of his life. Even now, almost thirteen years after that night, she would go through that pain all over again if it meant that she could have such a wonderful son and see the look of pure pride on her husband's face. She would, seriously.

She continued to look through the photographs in her hands for a short time, but before she knew it there was a knock on the front door. Looking up at the clock on the mantelpiece, she noticed that it was half-past six and smiled to herself before laying the photographs down on the table beside the sofa and standing up. She then padded over to the mirror that hung on the wall, fixed her hair slightly and walked out of the sitting room. It didn't take long for her to walk down the hall to the front door, and once she had opened it she offered John a smile at seeing him on her doorstep. 'Good evening, Mr. Bates.' She greeted him, a gentle blush rising in her cheeks at the look on his face.

'Good evening, Anna,' He managed to respond after a couple of seconds had passed. 'You…you look beautiful.'

She ducked her head for a second before clasping her hands in front of herself and gazing into his eyes. 'You don't look too bad, yourself.'

The two of them looked at one another in silence for a time before John cleared his throat. 'I hope you don't mind, but I was in the village this morning and I saw these,' He pulled a small bouquet of red roses out from behind his back. 'I thought I would surprise you with them.'

'Oh, they're absolutely beautiful,' She breathed while accepting them from him. 'Roses happen to be my favourite, too, so you've done well.'

He chuckled.

'Thank you so much, Mr. Bates, this is so lovely of you,' She sighed after taking a moment to breathe in the scent of the roses in her hand. 'Come through to the kitchen and I'll find a vase to put these in before we leave,' She then moved to one side and allowed him to enter the house before closing the door and walking to the kitchen with him behind her. 'I guess you're wondering why the house is so silent tonight.'

'It was rather a surprise not to see Lily clinging on to you when you answered the door, I'll admit.' He teased which made her laugh.

'Jack and Grace are out at a sleepover and Mrs. Robins told me that she would have Lily at hers overnight so that I can rest,' She told him once the two of them had entered the kitchen and she'd gotten the floral vase down from the windowsill. 'I'll admit that I do need a bit of a break after the last couple of weeks, but the children have only been gone for two hours and I already miss the three of them so much.'

John sighed when she turned back to him after filling the vase with water and putting the roses into it. 'Are you positive that you want to go out for dinner tonight? If you'd rather stay in and just talk, that's fine with me.' He reassured her before a smile crept across her lips.

'No, let's go out,' She shook her head. 'It'll take my mind off of missing the children and I've been looking forward to this evening since we last spoke.'

'We should get going if we're not going to miss the bus then,' He told her. 'It arrives at the bus stop at the end of the lane in ten minutes.'

She nodded and let him leave the kitchen ahead of her before following him back down the hall to where her hat and coat were hanging on their hooks. Once she'd put her hat and coat on and fastened the buttons, she opened the door and went out into the night before waiting for John to leave the cottage so that she could lock the door behind them. 'Shall we?' He asked while offering her his arm, a gentle giggle escaping her as she nodded before sliding her arm through his and allowing him to guide her out of her garden and onto the deserted lane. 'The Red Lion won't be too crowded tonight, that's why I suggested it.' He said as the two of them walked to the end of the lane together.

'That's good. We can have a proper conversation and I can finally learn more about you.' She looked up at him.

'You really want to learn more about me?' He scoffed self-deprecatingly.

Feeling rather bold all of a sudden, she went onto her tiptoes and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek. 'I want to learn everything about you.'

'Then you shall,' He released her arm once they'd walked down to the bus stop at the end of the lane. 'Anything you want to know, just ask.'

'Oh, I will,' She reassured him. 'I most certainly will.'

It was later that evening when the two of them were sat together at The Red Lion after finishing their dinner, and John couldn't help but smile as he looked across the table at Anna and watched her put another spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. He had meant it when he'd told her that she looked beautiful earlier that night. Her hair was twisted into a tight bun at the nape of her neck, the red dress that she had chosen to wear complimented her complexion and the small amount of makeup that she'd applied to her face only added to her beauty.

He couldn't remember the last time he'd had such a wonderful evening.

From the moment they had arrived at the public house, she had been making him laugh with stories about her childhood and about her own children and he had loved learning more about her background. He had revealed more about himself than he had expected to, as well, such as what his own youth had been like and what he'd done to save Lord Grantham's life while fighting in the Boers. She just made him feel so at ease. He felt as though he could speak to her about anything that was on his mind, without having to worry about her judging him for it.

'Can I tell you something, John?' The sound of her voice pulled him from his thoughts.

'Of course,' He nodded with a smile. 'You can tell me anything.'

She sighed and stopped eating her ice cream for a time in order to look across the table at him. 'There was a small part of me that felt as though I wouldn't have fun tonight. I was looking forward to this, but I was also worried because I thought that I would be thinking about Edward the entire time and I wouldn't be able to focus on you. That isn't what's happened, though. I have thought about Edward tonight, I admit that, but not as much as I would if I were at home. For the first time since his passing, I've actually had fun and that's down to you.'

John felt his heart swell a little in his chest. 'You deserve to laugh and have fun, Anna, even though Edward isn't around anymore.'

'It just…it just feels disloyal to do those things without him…' She admitted. 'He was the most important person in my life for a long time.'

'I understand that,' He said. 'But do you really think that he would feel betrayed if he could see you finding joy in something without him?'

She sat in silence for a time while she thought about his words. 'No…' She shook her head. 'To be honest, I think he would be proud of me.'

'He would be proud of you,' He agreed. 'He would be so proud to see how well you're doing with your singing career and raising your children, Anna.'

Soft tears brimmed in her eyes as she looked at him. 'I don't want to be a singer anymore.'

'You don't?' The look in his eyes told her that she had surprised him.

'No,' She replied. 'I mean, singing will always be a part of me, but I would rather spend hours reading bedtime stories to Grace than sing in front of a room full of drunken men every other night. I keep telling her and Jack that it won't be like this forever. That a better job will come along and I'll be able to be at home with them at night, but I've been telling them that for such a long time and even I'm beginning to doubt that it's ever going to happen.' She swirled her teaspoon around in the ice cream that had begun to melt in the glass in front of her.

John watched her in silence until she looked at him again. 'Have you ever thought about helping out in one of the shops in the village?'

'There isn't a single shopkeeper in Downton that I haven't found and asked,' She placed her hands in her lap. 'They're not taking anyone on.'

'Well, how about…' He tried again but stopped talking when she reached across the table and took his hand in hers.

'It's all right,' She soothed. 'I shouldn't have brought this up tonight of all nights. Not when this is our first date.'

She had to forbid herself to giggle when his eyes widened and he tightened his hold of her hand. 'This…this is our first date?'

'I've had almost two weeks to think about tonight,' She reminded him. 'I was unsure about what I wanted tonight to be at first, but then I remembered how Edward set me free a couple of nights before he went back to war. He told me that I could find someone else and fall in love again if he didn't come home. When he died, I swore to myself that I would never let another man into my life and I stuck to that for quite a while. Then, of course, I came to Downton on Her Ladyship's birthday and you…you gave me that smile of yours and I felt my resolve start to slip.'

The two of them chuckled softly together and she felt a blush bloom in her cheeks, her heart fluttering in her chest when he reached out and brushed a strand of her hair back behind her ear. 'Do you have the first idea of how beautiful you look when you laugh?' He asked her.

'Such a charmer.' She tutted.

'It's not being a charmer if it's true.' He explained.

She offered him a smile. 'I'm going to have to ask you to be rather patient with me for the first couple of months, if not longer than that. I need to sit Jack and Grace down and talk to them about this. I need to be sure that the thought of us starting a courtship doesn't make them feel uncomfortable. It might not make the world of sense to you, but the happiness of my children needs to be my main priority, Mr. Bates, regardless of how I feel about you.' She explained before he rested his hand on her cheek and ran his thumb across her warm skin.

'I understand, Anna, and I don't care how long it takes,' He reassured her. 'I would wait for years for you if it came to it.'

'It won't be years, but I do need some time.' She held his gaze when he took his hand off of her cheek.

'And time is what you will have,' He lifted the hand that was caught in his to his lips and kissed the back of it. 'I promise…'

'Would you like to stay for a little while and have a drink with me? Or are you expected back?' Anna asked once John had walked her home and the two of them were standing together in the hall while she slid her feet out of her heels, unbuttoned her coat and took off her hat.

John looked at the clock on the wall behind her as she hung her hat and coat on the hooks, a sigh escaping him when he noticed that it was a quarter-past nine. 'As much as I hate to bring tonight to an end, I'm afraid I need to head off if I'm to get back to Downton before ten.'

'I understand.' She replied before smiling when he placed his hands on her waist, stepped closer to her and brought her close to his chest.

'You're certain that you're going to be all right on your own?' He kept his voice soft as he looked into her eyes.

She nodded and laid her hands on his forearms through his jacket. 'It's just one night and the children will be back at around nine o'clock.'

'Make the most of the peace and quiet and go and get into bed,' He told her. 'Trust me, a proper night's sleep can make all the difference.'

'All right…' She whispered.

Even though both of them realised that he was wasting time by holding her in the hallway of her cottage, neither one of them cared much. His gaze left hers and fell to her lips after a time, and when he looked into her eyes again there was the most captivating sparkle in them. 'Can…can I kiss you before I leave?' He asked as his heart pounded in his chest and he was positive that his cheeks were burning furiously.

'Well, you did treat me to dessert after dinner and I'm home in one piece…' She moved her hands to his chest. 'Of course, you can kiss me.'

Feeling relief surge through his veins, he moved one hand to the back of her neck and one hand to her waist before capturing her lips with his in a soft kiss. He kept his touch light so that she could end their kiss and step back from him if she wanted to, but brought her a little closer to him when she moved her hands from his chest to his waist and curled her fingers into his jacket. The two of them let their first kiss linger for some time, wanting to savour the moment, but the urge to breathe soon arose and so John slowly started to break the kiss.

Her eyes flickered open just seconds after he had pulled back from her, and he felt a smile spread across his lips when she sucked on her lower lip and buried her face in his chest to hide her burning cheeks. He couldn't think of a single word that summed up just how much she meant to him. She was perfect and he had some kind of deep-seated need to protect her and never let her forget how cherished she was. 'I have to go…' He whispered reluctantly into the hair at the crown of her head before nuzzling a kiss into it and sighing with satisfaction.

'I'm not going to see you until next week now.' She almost pouted after pulling back from his chest and looking into his eyes again.

'It'll be worth the wait, I promise,' He traced the curve of her waist with his hands. 'And I'll finally be allowed to hold your hand in public.'

She giggled before he stooped to brush one last kiss against her lips, the two of them sighing in unison before they parted and she moved to open the front door. Once he had stepped out of the cottage, he turned back to her and took her hand in his before giving it a squeeze. 'Go and get into bed, sweetheart,' He told her. 'You look exhausted and I think you could do with the sleep before the children come back.'

'I think you're right,' She agreed before using her arm to stifle the yawn that escaped her. 'Goodnight.'

'Goodnight.' He echoed before releasing her hand, turning around and walking away from her and the cottage.

Once he was out of sight, she closed the door behind her and made sure to lock it before touching her fingers to her lips and beaming like a mere schoolgirl. She couldn't remember the last time she had been kissed like that. John had been so gentle and patient with her, and it had been one of the most perfect first kisses. He was one of the loveliest men she had ever met. He was kind, he was warm, he was gentle and he was so protective. He was also a man that she could envision her children growing to adore and that filled her heart with happiness.

She would always miss Edward.

She would always wish that he had come home to her and that he could be around to watch their children grow up.

The grief that still raged within her would no longer be so hard to bear, however, because she wouldn't have to bear it alone anymore.

She had John to hold and comfort her whenever she was in need of it, and she knew that his support was going to be invaluable.

Things were finally beginning to look up for her and, she hoped, for her children.

She finally felt as though she was being lifted out of the darkness.

Author's Note: Thank you all so much for reading this chapter and I hope that you found it enjoyable! Please let me know what you thought of it with a review, and I'll see you all in the next chapter :)