A/N: It's been six months and I feel terribly sorry for my long abscence. I just lost my motivation during my exams and later I always worried that I couldn't get into this story again, despite how much I still think about it every day.
With this chapter I am also happy to announce that I've finished reviewing and editing all the previous chapters – and there's a new cover image as well.
Thanks to all of you who stayed with me and please enjoy the last chapter of the first arc! :)
Music: "Melody Day (Four Tet Remix)" - Caribou
- Chapter 14 -
Countdown Part 4 / The Only Thing Worth Fighting For
"To sum it up, one could say that this child's memory contains all the information you might seek, Sandaime-sama. There is the story of this illustrious guardian spirit, who is, as far as I am concerned, the first one of its kind… not to forget that child's dubious connections outside of the village — including an unknown individual and a certain slithery Sannin."
"About that… I still find it hard to believe that he would allow for the child to leave."
"Oh well, 'allow' seems to be a bit far-fetched. Although I have to admit that I absolutely adore the idea of Orochimaru being outwitted by a four-year old."
"He may be many things, but hardly someone who handles sensitive information so carelessly. Either he anticipated her arrival here or he took the necessary precautions."
"Well, it's not like I can disagree with you there. I don't know his personality as well as you do, Sarutobi-sama. After all I never got to work with him due to someone else's precautions."
"You would have either brought out the best in each other — or the worst. Since I've never been much of a gambler myself, I simply avoided the risk. Not that it made that much of a difference in the end…"
"One has to be a bit of a mad genius to actually dare and mess with that seal of hers. It's… amazing, simply and entirely amazing. I can tell that someone has attempted to make alterations of some kind and yet it's difficult to determine where the changes start. It's a shame that I can't reveal all of the seal without threatening the girl's life."
"…"
"Which of course is out of question."
"You have seen fragments of it, so will you please share your thoughts on its design and purpose? What was the original intention behind creating it and how could the modifications possibly have altered this?"
"What I've seen is only a very small part of it."
"Oh, but I am sure that you've come up with at least one of your clever ideas, Sato. I can tell that this case particularly intrigues you, so let me hear about it."
"…"
"Just now you advertised this child's memory like a box of unknown riches. I can't help but wonder what you get out of this. After all we both know that your service always comes at a certain price and since I haven't been the one who agreed to pay it, it must have been someone else."
"My dear Lord Hokage… are you actually trying to guilt-trip me?"
"If this is what it takes to get my answers? Then yes, I won't shrink from guilt-tripping you, Sato. We both know that you have a history of being astonishingly selfish. So why don't you do us both a favor and be a good, retired shinobi for once."
"I'd love to give it a try."
"Well then, why don't you start then by telling me what's actually going on here?"
Planning on returning Fuu's stone before he had to leave for his talk with the Hokage, Kakashi slowly made his way upstairs. He had thought it through, again and again — only to be surprised that there were no more than two sides to it.
It was one thing to fail a mission, but there was absolutely no excuse for hurting his ward. Especially after the line neatly separating his priorities was now smudged with the affection he could no longer deny. Because it was no longer his point to prove but rather Fuu's future at stake.
'And I only have one day left to make it up to her' Kakashi realized with a deep frown. Somehow the idea of also failing this task almost frightened him as much as the idea of actually caring whether he did. 'If they don't take her from m—… if they don't pick her up before then.'
For a second the jonin felt incredibly stupid for correcting himself; even though it was only in his own trail of thoughts. He paused and watched helplessly as his feet became rooted to the floorboards beneath. Apparently this was enough to test his pathetic excuse of a resolve.
Thud.
Clang.
Screak.
His attention immediately snapped towards the small ray of light that poured through the bathroom door; the one which his ward had left ajar. As soon as his worry gained the upper hand, he found that his body was very well able to move on its own.
His hand slipped from the rail when his legs finally made a move towards the source of noise, "Fuu?"
Instead of answering, the girl hurried around the small room and he couldn't make out what she was mumbling about. Slowing his approach, he thought that it sounded suspiciously like she was cursing under her breath but his mind was quick to reject this idea.
There was absolutely no way that this girl would ever use swearwords. After all, she herself had covered Asuma's mouth with her little hands on more than one occasion; too shocked about his colorful language to care about the boldness of her move.
"Fuu, I can tell that you're in there… even if you don't want to talk to me."
It hurt a little to say it out loud — a little more, however, when Fuu confirmed his suspicions with her reluctance to answer him. Finally, with her small shoulders hunched and her hair wild from tossing around in bed, Fuu appeared in the small gap of the door.
It would seem that his ward was no longer able to put placating smiles on her face. Exactly like how she made it fairly obvious that he was invading her personal space right now. If not by the way she chewed on the inside of her cheek, it became abundantly clear when she finally whispered, "How can I help you?"
"Not that I am overly curious—" Kakashi emphasized with a new kind of tension settling between his shoulder blades, "— but what's this smell? If it is disinfectant, and I am pretty sure it is, then please let me inside and show me what happened."
Fuu stubbornly pressed her forehead against the wood of the doorframe, one eye slowly blinking its way up to his face.
Whether to calm his ward or himself, Kakashi tried again; this time with his volume lowered, "Listen, I promise I won't be mad. Even if you've hurt yourself while trying to clean my weapons… again."
Fuu made a small movement with her shoulders and Kakashi stared at her questioningly before realizing that she had just shrugged his words off. She even had the cheek to pull the door closer to herself, "Nothing happened… Hatake-sama."
"I can tell that you've mixed washing powder with whatever you're brewing up in there" he gently accused the girl, who then broke eye contact with him to frown at her own hands. A bit absentmindedly he noted that she still tightly clung to the door. "I'll give you my word that I won't poke fun at whatever you've come up with, alright? I am just worried whether you've hurt yourself. Please, Fuu?"
Without another word, his ward gave the door a push and stalked towards the middle of the room; back to where she had placed her bucket. Kakashi noted that it was the same one she usually used for her secret cleaning sessions — well, as secret as he let her believe.
Inside of the bucket, mixed with warm water and the previously mentioned ingredients, she had soaked some undefinable objects. As far as Kakashi could tell, they were clothes, but he still raised a brow in question.
As expected, Fuu read his masked face, "I soaked some old bandages that I found in my room."
"Ah" was Kakashi's exceptionally eloquent response and for the next few minutes they stood side by side, simply watching how the whitish gauze gently bobbed up and down in the water.
It was strangely meditative in its own sense of awkwardness.
"You know…" her guardian finally spoke up, right before he paused and cleared his throat. "No, I know or should have known better… than to take it out on you. It is one thing that I have failed the mission, and it's definitely something that I will have to deal with at some point, but… I completely ignored your feelings, Fuu. And for that I am truly… sorry."
That he didn't answer her penetrating gaze, wasn't because of the surprise the copy ninja was sure to find in her eyes — nor was it because he was uncomfortably aware of her deepening frown.
"I failed to prove your innocence and I feel like I also failed you at—" he had to break off in mid-sentence; the joints of his fingers white against the flesh as he held firmly onto the worry-eater stone. "That wasn't my intention… — Thanks for finding and cleaning the bandages for me, by the way."
"Anytime." Her voice was soft, almost unbearably so.
Fuu then proceeded to relocate the bucket so that it wouldn't be in the way. Her movements appeared to be even less coordinated than usually, if that was even possible. Kakashi however was still caught up between relief and astonishment. Otherwise he might have noticed the flowery whiff beneath the sharp smell of disinfectant or the way his ward tensed now and then.
When Fuu turned around to him, she noticed the way he forcefully rubbed at his eyes. Obviously confounded at the sight of his internal fight, her soft features showed the process of how she first unwillingly accepted his explanation before finally coming to terms with his excuse.
"I am sorry, Hatake-sama" she finally said, stepping in front of him. Her frown returning, the girl helplessly kneaded her hands before extending one of them with a nervous gulp to grasp the material of his pants. "For all the trouble… I've caused you."
To her surprise her guardian actually chuckled. Although Kakashi mainly laughed at himself — finding it ridiculous that a four year old should be able to sincerely apologize without having to face a nervous breakdown in the process — he also felt like he was finally able to see past the state of affairs.
Squinting down at her, Kakashi actually thought about her words before he finally lowered his hands, "How about you stop calling me 'Hatake-sama' then?"
In exchange for this favor, he even offered to return her worry-eater stone.
"Hatake-san" Fuu easily decided, catching the jonin a little off guard with her readiness to give up on the honorifics. Also it was hard to miss that she quite naturally reached for the shiny gem.
"Try again" Kakashi disagreed with a shake of his head, lifting the stone out of her reach.
"Kakashi-sama?" Her voice was still tentatively gentle yet Kakashi couldn't help but wonder if it was a certain impatient edge to it.
"It's getting warmer."
"…"
"Do you want this stone back or not?"
With a small blush, she avoided his eye crinkling smile and expectantly opened her hands, "Kakashi…"
Back in the darkness of her room, Futaba breathed a deep sigh of relief.
While a small part of her was still worried whether or not the Hatake had noticed the change in Fuu's behavior, she was mostly uncertain about how to feel herself. Her righteous anger, the pain she shared with Fuu, that disappointment she had not been able to explain…
… it all had vanished at the mere sight of this man's honesty. Because as much as she would've liked to deny it, the Hatake truly cared for Fuu. In his own I-can-barely-take-properly-care-of-myself way.
Nothing, not even the safety precautions around the house, like the anti-slip mat at the bottom of the stairs, had prepared her for this. Who would expect words like these coming from someone as complicated and clinical as the great Hero of the Sharingan? All those stories about him had given her the idea of a completely detached personality; refusing to take responsibilities aside his missions, abiding by the rules, distancing himself from anything that involved emotional attachment.
Of course Futaba had anticipated that Fuu would take a liking to him — it would have actually surprised her if anything could ever stop the girl in that regard…
But Hatake Kakashi?
After being talked into taking care of an annoying brat, one would expect the Hatake to be grateful that somebody took her off his hands.
'What a troublesome man' Futaba sighed inwardly. 'But I guess I should be a little grateful to him for bottling it up 'til now. For someone, who is in such a poor mental state, he made at least an effort to pull himself together.'
'Even I would not be able to handle the true extent of your madness, Futaba.'
These words, spoken only two days before Orochimaru had decided to finally break his promise, still hurt. Not because they had been used as an excuse to drive her closer to insanity than she had thought possible, but rather for tainting her own self-awareness black with fear.
Sloughing off the stainless skin of her ward, Futaba took a step forward to find the balance of her now fully grown height. Her body tingled where the black lines moved beneath her skin. She might have been unable to see them in the unlit room, but it was almost like they whispered to her in the dark; making terrifying promises to eat her alive one of these days.
It wasn't particularly painful, yet her senses were dulled to the point where she was no longer able to distinguish between the many different auras around her.
Ever since awakening, her body had been acting strange. Or to put it differently: it alternated between freezing her to the point of clenched teeth before reddening her skin with the heat of suppressed energy. Both her senses and chakra were all over the place so that she was fully engaged with keeping her cover.
'Whoever messed with this seal should be proud with himself' Futaba thought grimly; keeping her breaths even while ignoring the numbing sensation that slowly crawled up her legs. 'Now I can only hope that this genius is not the one after Fuu. Otherwise we might be in trouble, little one. Especially since I won't be able to take off tonight' she observed, distinctly aware that the silver haired shinobi prepared to leave for his appointment with the Hokage.
An image of a weathered yet friendly face surfaced in her mind. She had seen the Sandaime once or twice, but only from afar. What was the Hatake going to tell him? And how would a shinobi like Sarutobi Hiruzen react to the new information?
'What if they come to take Fuu tonight?' Futaba worried her lip and glanced down at her stone.
For a second there, she had actually panicked; half expecting the Hatake to immediately recognize it as the potent tool which it undeniably was. Now that the guardian spirit thought about it, her plan to clean all of her bandages in the middle of the night and flat-out lie to the face of an ANBU captain, had been questionable and foolish actions born of her own restlessness.
The irrational part of her personality, however, was almost a little disappointed that the Hatake had actually believed her act.
"How foolish" Futaba whispered tiredly as she used her free hand to rub at her burning eyes. Only because she was now afraid of the person modifying her seal, she wouldn't switch to her last option.
'He trusts Fuu. Otherwise he wouldn't try to prove that she's innocent. Shouldn't expect this trust to extend to her guardian spirit though.'
It reminded her of her father's presence, Orochimaru's little snakes on the scout and now this new person who knew enough about her seal to actually rewrite certain parts. How was it, that all of their moves seemed so well coordinated?
She felt like the only one who had no idea about the next step.
Squeezing her eyes shut to block out the sight of the room's walls inching their way towards her, Futaba whispered, "Will it ever end?"
The sun had long set by the time Sato decided to finally leave the busy streets of Konohagakure to enter one of its quietest parts.
'Spirit Town' was definitely one of the more suitable names that the people of the Leaf had given to this district. Old and deserted enough to regularly host nightly tests of courage for the more rebellious youth of the village, most people chose to never set foot on the empty streets. Except for those, who swore by the herbs of the ragged gardens or amused themselves at the expense of other people's superstitiousness.
To Sato it was all the same as long as they left him alone.
'Well, except this one' he thought to himself as he caught sight of the freshly lit paper lantern. It awaited him with its soft, red glow right where the torii met the weathered rocks at the foot of the stone treads.
Rubbing at his face, Sato muttered, "Maybe you'd finally stay away if I were to stop feeding you…"
His housemate definitely wasn't the most attentive person. Nor was she very reliable with her passing whims; her moods could change for no apparent reason. But since she mostly stuck around, Sato had discovered ways to appreciate her friendly gestures whenever she felt like it.
Similar to his own notions that pushed him to buy household items; simply to mock her. For example an extraordinarily tawdry fruit bowl.
So, now equipped with the dim lamp and said tawdry bowl, the shinobi ascended the burst treads — passing small shrines buried beneath gnarled roots and enough time to erase them from memory. Their mossy green hats swallowed the light of the lantern greedily, thus leaving him in the dusk.
Sato had to admit that he was quite fond of the quaintness this place possessed — this path to his home. At a later point in time, somebody would have the audacity to point out that all of this did indeed suit his personality; something which he would of course outright deny.
Right now, however, there was another person — not as subtle and dear — who effectively made himself known by bringing down the end of his cane right in front of Sato's face.
"I expected you back earlier, Sato" the none too pleased voice of Danzo informed him with its usual drawl. By choosing to appear above him, he obviously intended to make the other shinobi look up to him. "I am still awaiting your report… which you will deliver now."
With the realization that the Root leader apparently considered it necessary to knock him down a peg, Sato heaved another sigh off his chest. Caught up in his thoughts, he had very nearly forgotten about Danzo's part and their little deal. Not to mention that there was this fine piece of fuinjutsu, which proved to be quite the challenge…
"Spare me your childish impatience, Shimura. We both knew that I was going to arrive sooner or later" Sato huffed indignantly before glancing back to where the lights of the village welcomed the darker layers of the night. "I was simply taking a stroll… Something you're quite fond of, if I recall. Though your version's more like: Big bad undercover shinobi breaks his curfew to safe us all… yadda yadda yadda."
"Tell me about his next actions."
If words could bite, each of Danzo's few ones of choice would have been tearing at Sato's throat right now. It was only a question of time until that man found a way to get back at him.
Meeting his eyes with as much contempt as possible, Sato wet his lips, "Today has been… an exceptionally frustrating day for the Hatake-boy. That's why he'll want to vent some of his pent-up emotions before he'll be able to turn in for the night. I'd guess he'll choose the training ground closest to the memorial stone. But that's just the rather educated guess of a remarkably clever person."
For a second Sato thought that Danzo might actually snort in exasperation. It was the small movement at the corners of his mouth that gave him away. But it was enough to get him in Sato's wake.
It always astonished the retired shinobi how easily people allowed themselves be manipulated as long as it added fuel to their already existing emotions. By nourishing feelings of dislike with bits of provocation, one could easily trick another person into believing that they had been right about you all along. That you were indeed that sneaky, treacherous person they so strongly detested.
The confirmation of one's own brain sometimes equaled the approval certain individuals lacked in real life and in return gave them a false sense of superiority. Especially if said person actually knew better, he or she could still fall for such obvious tricks.
'Lucid manipulation — or: how to feed false expectations.'
"Do you take me for a fool, Sato?"
Although tempted, Sato was wise enough to resist. After all this was his chance to leave the dirty work to others while he himself came out of it with hands clean enough to belie his consciousness.
"I advised the Hatake-boy to go and talk with the Hokage" Sato explained as if it had been the natural course of action. "It's about time to discuss the details of the child's transfer. He knows this as well, so… he'll process, meet up with the Sarutobi and then he won't return home immediately. This should give you a window of… let's say one and a half hours to gather your little fan club and pick up that brat."
The stony expression on Danzo's face betrayed nothing. However, he did slowly step down next to Sato and decided to disturb the late bird calls with a voice so threateningly low, "I hope for your own good that this information proves to be useful."
Glad to discern that his partner in crime had yet to find something to blackmail him, Sato accepted the none too subtle threat with a small nod.
"Otherwise I would find myself obliged to take certain measures."
"Don't you always, Shimura? You must really love your measures, if nothing else."
Danzo ignored the languid intonation easily and instead gripped the cane to start his way down the stairs. He almost got far enough to put an end to their conversation, yet he turned one last time.
"For someone who has as many secrets as you do, Sato, you've decided to take an awfully uncomfortable position. Don't ever believe that either I nor the Hokage will forget about your meddling."
As he watched the Root leader disappear from his sight, Sato couldn't help but snort.
"You're not going to take my advice, eh, Shimura? Well, it's not like I would have trusted the bait either but I should better hope that Fuu's dear guardian spirit stays put tonight…"
— 1 day to go —
Despite the now ever present feeling of defeat, Kakashi couldn't help but smirk as he watched the trembling frame of his ward. For about a minute now the four year old had been trying to gather chakra with all her might — her heart shaped face turning redder by the second.
Comfortably sipping his fresh coffee, the copy ninja finally leant forward on the couch to poke the crease between Fuu's brows, "I believe that's enough…"
Some of the redness remained to flood Fuu's cheeks once she finally relaxed. Fidgeting a little under her guardian's patient stare, she kneaded the hem of her PJ top. Fuu was pretty bad at pretending when it came to him and Kakashi knew that it was only a matter of time before she would spill the beans.
After two attempts of raising her voice, only to fail miserably, Fuu finally found her words, "Do you want shome m-more coffee, Hatake-sama?"
If he had not expected her to revert back to her old ways, Kakashi might have actually been disappointed to hear the honorific — safely back in place.
"I still have some, actually" he observed unfazed after checking the dark contents of his steaming cup with a lazy movement of his wrist. "So, what was it you wanted to say?"
After another internal struggle, the girl seemed to have run out of distraction strategies. Though her previous attempts had already been pretty hopeless, Kakashi appreciated her amusing endeavor. After a night of getting a few things straight in his head, he now was able to push away his frustration and anger around Fuu.
As if there was any other option with this stumbling disaster full of goodwill.
"I made it up!" Fuu finally blurted out and immediately she covered her face behind her chubby little hands. "I… I couldn't find out how to use my cha-chakra last night!"
Her guardian allowed her only for a moment to feel bad about it before he sat up to gently remove her arms. Of course he knew that Fuu only tried her best to meet his expectations; even those he might not specifically voice. It was both tiring and endearing to know that she could sense the pressure he was under and that she wanted to shoulder some of it.
Of course she was unaware that it made him only feel worse. If she were to think that she was responsible for every one of his bad mood swings…
"So you made it up" he repeated, softening his voice to soothe the girl who still tried to cover her face.
Finally her movements stilled and Kakashi pressed his thumb on the small palm of her hand in reassurance. They should have had this talk earlier. After all, there was still so much for her to understand.
"It's nothing! Nothing you need to worry about, Hatake-sa- … Ouch!"
"Rule number two?"
Still rubbing the sore spot which the copy ninja had just flicked, Fuu muttered in defeat, "I am supposed to say if something is troubling me…"
"Indeed."
When Fuu still chose to remain quiet, Kakashi heaved a deep sigh as he put down his empty coffee cup. He would need to figure out, how to —
"I THOUGHT I COULD STAY IF HAVE MY OWN CHAKRA!"
In spite of the deafening silence that followed her sudden outburst, a colorful surge of emotions — honest, vivid and strong to the point of being painful — knocked the air out of the jonin's lungs.
It was hard to believe that a child this small should even be able to feel… so much. Not to mention that she had been hiding it from them; from him. If Kakashi had been clueless before, he now understood the true extent of becoming the guardian of such an extraordinary girl.
'I am the person to whom she relates most closely' the copy ninja realized and this knowledge scared him out of his wits.
With his limited knowledge of interpersonal relationships, he found it hard to believe that someone would actually find him worth caring for. Why should anyone give a damn, if he himself clearly didn't? He never had, right? Because surely there was a difference between his attachment to this child and actually caring. There had to be!
So how was it possible for him to come face to face with so… much of… this?
'Quite simple, actually' Kakashi finally admitted to himself.
He had been naive enough to believe that this emotionally charged bundle would forget him at the first prospect of a normal family. That's what a child like Fuu should want and have. A functioning family with no dark secrets, no blood on their hands and no week or even month long absences.
However, said child now stood in front of him, confronted him with her reality and a stream of tears running down her cheeks.
It was rather obvious that telling him had pushed her to a limit and Kakashi knew that he was supposed to say something. Anything to show her that he understood and shared her wish.
But he couldn't. His mind was completely blank after her powerful emotions had swept away everything in their path. So in the end it were his instincts that saved the situation.
Before the girl could run away, Kakashi caught her and with a high-pitched cry, Fuu tried to fight his grasp for the first time ever. In the haze of her own revelation, she tried desperately to struggle free — her eyes bright with panic.
"Fuu! Fuu… listen to me! You need to calm down" Kakashi repeated over and over again, realizing that he had been nothing but blind and ignorant. "No matter what happens, I will still come to see you. I am your guardian, remember? And… I care about you. I really do."
'Even if I never wanted to' he thought as the girl switched from fighting to clinging to him, hot tears soaking his shirt.
"So I have this … seal inside of me?" Fuu repeated with her green eyes spinning as she tried to wrap her mind around the things Kakashi had just explained to her.
"Yes. That's what Sato-san tried to make visible yesterday. It does prove that someone has been experimenting with you."
With her nose wrinkling in distaste, Fuu questioned, "Experimenting with me?"
'Ah, wrong choice of words' Kakashi noted and shifted a little on his side of the couch so that a whiff of the burned material rose to his sensitive nose. "Somebody… apparently tried to find out more about seals… with your help."
Ignoring how much worse this sounded to his own ears, Fuu easily accepted this with a nod.
After some time adjusting to the new level of their guardian-ward relationship, Kakashi felt for the first time like he could actually share with Fuu. At some point — probably somewhere between her profusely apologizing and the awkwardly tense preparations for breakfast — the soon to be ex-guardian had come to terms with the way things had turned out.
After causing his ward so much distress, he would at least try to help her understand. So now they both had settled upon the couch, each on their respective side, with a hot drink and in Fuu's case some additional blankets.
"Since you couldn't have been the one who applied it, or to be precise, interweaved it with your body — it must have been someone else" Kakashi said, clenching his teeth as he thought of the possible candidates. "I assume Futaba never mentioned anything to you?"
Breathing in the sweet smell of her hot chocolate, Fuu looked up, "No, she hasn't."
"How does this work anyway? This whole guardian-spirit-connection-thing? What kind of … person is Futaba?"
Caught by surprise, Fuu blinked a few times. "I know very little about her… She has always been there for me and it's like sometimes… I remember times when we were… closer? Like real close" she stretched the word for the lack of more befitting vocabulary. "Now she sometimes sends me warmth to remind me that I am not alone and I can ask her for help. I really like her a lot though I have never seen her face."
"And she likes you too?" Kakashi probed, although he immediately regretted his choice of words.
"I… I think so."
Trying to erase his doubt, Kakashi quickly contemplated, "Well, she does help you and brings you presents. So, why shouldn't she?"
'As long as it's not only bribery to use you as a convenient cover.'
"Do you remember how long she's been with you or how you two… connected? You said that you don't know who your parents are and that you've been living with the other servants — under the tutelage of Uchiha Yashiro."
"Uhm, I… it's hard to remember" Fuu mumbled while rubbing at her temple; something that Kakashi could hardly miss. "Futaba's been with me most of the time, I think. But I am sure that if this seal is bad, she didn't do it!"
'Within this seal lies definitely the connection with your guardian spirit' Kakashi halfheartedly disagreed with her, remembering the parts of the seal Sato had been able to preserve. 'Also it's quite curious that you don't remember the person who claims to be your father — not to mention a man you've been referring to as 'snake man'… Just what did they hide inside that little body of yours? What kind of memories do make you so valuable for them?'
"I've been thinking that maybe you should decide what we do this afternoon."
"…"
"Now, why would you stare at me like that? I just thought that after I've been pushing you to do so many things you dislike, you should be rewarded."
"So anything's fine?"
"Mah… let's say that there are a few exceptions. Eating too many strawberries will give you a terrible stomach ache and then there are those things that I won't be able to accomplish-"
"So there are things you can't do, Hatake-sama?"
"… Sometimes I really wish that you'll never find out about the concepts of irony and sarcasm."
"What's sarcashm?"
"One of those things only grown ups are aloud to use. So do you have any idea?"
"…"
"So it's something I won't like then."
"…"
"Oh… Please don't tell me—! I should never have left you in his care!"
"But it would be fun to do something with everyone! Maito-sama even suggested some games. He said it would raise your youthful spirit, Hatake-sama."
"That I sincerely doubt, Fuu-chan."
With the open sliding doors, Sato was able to comfortably enjoy the sight of the well kept garden from one of the pillows he had used for his afternoon nap. Although the autumn ushered in with the first fallen leaves, he actually enjoyed the cool breeze. It playfully took along the thick smoke of his pipe, which he had stuffed with some of his finest tobacco.
"So far everything goes according to plan" he muttered lazily while pulling on his lower lip with the mouthpiece. "That's why you should leave now. After tomorrow not many people in Konoha will be on our side, Mii-chan."
The figure of the woman standing behind him remained silent, but her eyes left the lush greenery to follow the movement of his hands. Her beautiful face did not show what she was thinking but the hands to both her sides formed small fists.
Although Sato refused to turn around, he knew that his housemate wasn't exactly thrilled, "I had to do it, Mii-chan. People call me corrupt and foolish for a reason, but this—" he paused and allowed for the smoke to slop over his lower lip, "— this is something I've already messed up once."
As if oblivious to the frown on her face, Sato continued to stare outside — even when she turned around and disappeared without a word. He stayed after finishing his pipe and long after the feeling of her presence had already faded. Seemingly unaffected the retired shinobi wondered if she would be able to forgive him for his selfishness this time.
"Probably not" Sato finally sighed as got up. "But I should finish what I started."
Asuma was careful enough to hide his growing smirk as he busied his fingers with rolling new cigarettes. It was far from easy, yet he managed to sit at the dining table without even once meeting the stare of the jonin opposite of him. The room would have been deadly silent if it weren't for the clicking sounds of the ice cubes inside the copy ninja's mouth as well as the rustling of paper and tobacco.
It was like Kakashi practically dared the Sarutobi to even think about it — droopy eyes included.
"It's not my fault" Asuma finally tried to appease his friend before immediately pressing his lips together to keep them from turning upwards. He found it increasingly difficult to swallow around the persistent chuckle. "You've been surprisingly determined to prove… something. Maybe you just shouldn't have chosen hot soup for the challenge."
Click… click-click—clack…
"If one were to look past the choice of contest; I'd say that you've won… since you're not the one who turned up in the emergency admission of the hospital." With a soft shake of his head, the dark haired shinobi continued almost disbelievingly, "Amazing that someone would still be able to croak about the youthfulness of life with burns down all the way of his throat…"
The dark blue fabric of Kakashi's mask showed a small bulge as he pushed one of the ice cubes to his left cheek. "Won. Def'nit'ly."
"Sure sounds like it" Asuma deadpanned before he leant back. "Despite the sour face you've been putting on this whole time, you've been trying your best to show Fuu a good time. However, I am afraid that Gai won't be able to sleep after all the excitement today — thank Kami that the hospital staff knows the dose to properly knock him out. I am sure the little girl appreciates it, since this was her last day and everything."
"Yo' knnew?"
"Heard about it from Kurenai, man" the Sarutobi sighed deeply. "It's always the good things that get messed up."
Remaining silent for a moment, Kakashi finally shrugged. There was, after all, nothing much he could add to that.
Just then gentle footsteps descended the stairs. With a sigh Kurenai sank down on the chair next to Kakashi. Her face was tired but at some point she had come to terms with how things would proceed from here on.
"She'll calm down soon" the kunoichi mumbled as she searched Kakashi's profile. Things had still been a bit tense after their fight but with how things turned out today, Kurenai was ready for peace. "Thank you for allowing us to spend some more time with her."
"Wass her wis" the jonin was quick to point out.
"Maybe. But you've been a truly… caring guardian today and even if it's not my place to say it — I am proud of you" Kurenai said despite the way Kakashi clenched his jaw. "She's still upset. It's worse now that it's her last evening of course; but in some way or another you've been able to convey to her that you didn't think of her as annoying."
"…"
"Don't you look at me like that" Kurenai softly chided him, too tired to put up with his act. "You know she feared your rejection more than anything else. Explaining everything to her was a good idea. This way, at least, she won't think that everything was her fault."
In spite of the fact that there two pairs of eyes on him, Kakashi still managed to look somewhat clandestine as he pushed the last ice cube inside his left cheek. Noticing his now empty cup, the kunoichi gave his shoulder a quick slap, probably a little more forceful than encouraging, and went to get some more ice from the kitchen.
Still uncomfortable, Kakashi wriggled about in his chair while trying to hide how much he wished for them to leave. It was similar to the tension that had settled between his shoulders ever since he had started expecting the ANBU's arrival.
Albeit grudgingly Kakashi had to admit that he looked forward to the moment when they would finally come to pick up the child and at the same time, he dreaded it. Throughout the day he had caught Fuu's troubled gaze more than once and whenever her wide eyes caught sight of an unfamiliar shinobi, she would involuntarily inch closer to him. That he had allowed her to do just that, even encouraged her at times, now complicated his feelings.
'I THOUGHT I COULD STAY IF HAVE MY OWN CHAKRA!'
'Stay' Kakashi scoffed inwardly. 'Stay where? In this house? You knew that this was only a temporary arrangement— you even kept your little backpack ready for the day…'
Suddenly, with the uncomfortableness that was peculiar of rather late realizations, the soon to be ex-guardian finally understood the meaning of Fuu's words — her altered memory; all those people from her past who seemed to appear out from nowhere; names like the one of Orochimaru; her treasures… and then again and again, that beloved guardian spirit of hers.
'Though considering that my baby girl now returned to your hidden village, she was betrayed yet again.'
"Asuma, I need a favor from you."
The shinobi, who had been polite enough to ignore Kakashi's suddenly clenched fists, immediately recognized the expression on the masked face.
"I guess I could squeeze out about half an hour, so hurry up" the Sarutobi simply stated as he got up to occupy their red-eyed friend. "Good luck."
Conveying his appreciation by firmly gripping Asuma's shoulder as he walked passed him, Kakashi focussed on his new task.
To find proof of Futaba's last stay in Konohagakure.
After all, one could not 'return' to a town, if there was no first time.
The air inside the dark room was filled with the gentle breaths of the sleeping child, who was completely unaware to the danger that was about to enter her room in the form of a silent shadow. Patiently, like a predator on the lookout, he had already been waiting for the group to return from their little outing. Now that the Hatake had left, the rest would be a waltz.
He left his hiding place with steps that showed his confidence to make Danzo proud.
The child, who had still been tossing around only a few minutes ago, stirred, as if she could sense that nobody would come to her rescue.
Her guardian had left her; his mind apparently too preoccupied to at least check up on his ward. Then there still were two shinobi downstairs who had absolutely no idea that the department of Root had taken an interest.
Consequently, nobody was around to prevent him from covering the face of the unsuspecting child with a soaked cloth. Even the ANBU outside would not able to pick up on the small struggle inside this room — without chakra there was of course no spark to alarm them.
"Well, who would have thought that breaking inside the Hatake's house would be a piece of cake?" the shinobi chuckled soundlessly as he exchanged the original for the clone he had previously created.
He was unaware that, squashed inside the narrow wardrobe, in the furthest corner of the room, there was actually someone who agreed with him on a certain level. But Futaba was far from amused as she was forced to watch this fool carry off the clone she herself had created.
'Where are you, Hatake?' she inwardly cursed; angry at herself for multiple reasons — one of which happened to be the silver haired prodigy of this village.
Obviously, there had been more important things for him to take care of, if such an amateur was able to get inside his ward's room without so much as lifting a finger. What about the ANBU outside? And why did neither of the two signatures downstairs make a move to prevent any of this?
Whoever was trying to abduct Fuu must have been waiting for the Hatake to disappear. After all, Futaba had been listening to the Sharingan user's heartbeat long enough to recognize it anywhere. That's why she knew that he definitely was not amongst either of the parties.
With the backpack squeezed against her throbbing chest, the guardian spirit observed how the intruder adjusted his own clone of Fuu; carelessly stuffing the slender arms and legs beneath the covers.
'It's not worth it' Futaba tried to calm herself, resorting to what her brother might have told her.
If she wasn't careful enough, her own chakra would gladly answer to this nearly painful desire to inflict pain upon this man — which of course would irrevocably destroy the chance to fool whoever was behind this.
'I only need enough time to safely leave Konoha' Futaba tried to calm her bloodthirsty temper. 'And maybe pick a few things up on the way. It's easier if there's one party less to join the hunt.'
Once again she glanced through the small gap of the wardrobe. The stranger had finally disappeared with the clone.
Outside the cool air promised the first frost of the season; introducing the Land of Fire to one of its earliest winters. Thinking back, Futaba remembered growing up with the heat of never-ending summers whilst the other seasons blurred to nothing more than a hurried change of colors up in the trees.
Scanning some of the sparsely leafed branches for any signs of unwanted company, the guardian spirit found their absence unnerving. Through the unintended kindness of the kidnapper, Futaba had been able to escape the Hatake residence without wasting much of her already limited chakra. While she couldn't complain about this comfortable solution, the thought that this could have been an elaborate scheme to lure her out…
'Too late now anyway' she chided herself for the touch of paranoia; a habit she had never been able to break. 'But it's just too awfully convenient that the seal does no longer cause any trouble for me this night… .'
There were a few things Futaba had to pick up first before she left. After all it was meant to be a clean cut this time. She wouldn't be able to return anymore and the Hidden Leaf was supposed to remember the little servant girl named Fuu — not the other one, who had actually served the Uchiha for almost ten years before disappearing.
Careful not to leave a trace, the former resident entered the deserted district through one of the openings the stray cats regularly used. With her scent masked and backpack sealed inside a scroll to avoid any unnecessary source of noise, Futaba quickly found her way through the gardens.
The small window to the storeroom of Yashiro's house still hadn't been fixed after all these years. So Futaba entered the mansion as easily as back then — even if tonight it was a strong sense of nostalgia rather than the fear of getting caught while skipping work.
Overwhelmed by the familiar surroundings, Futaba rigidly made her way over to the door. She wouldn't need light to navigate through the house. Rather than bumping into repositioned pieces of furniture, Futaba was sure to stumble across buried memories.
Faded images, scraps of conversation, the smell of the sweets Yashiro-sama used to sneak around the house…
If it weren't for the uncomfortable feeling that someone had gotten onto her track, Futaba might have taken her time to properly say goodbye. As it were, she desperately needed a head start since the manipulator of her seal probably already knew about her departure. Of course it was a risk, but one she was more than ready to take.
Gently prodding against her bottom lip with the tips of her fingers, Futaba decided that this was neither about the Hatake nor Fuu… this man had wanted to reach her. While this thought easily caused her to shiver, it wasn't only because of the fear for an unknown opponent.
Removing an old picture frame from one of the shelves, the guardian spirit tried to ignore the foreign feeling that coursing through her veins.
Curiosity
To allow her mind to actually wonder freely had become something akin to luxury. After all the whole concept of survival was quite engaging. So, with a determined shake of her head, Futaba separated the photo from its frame before she put the latter inside the desk drawer.
If she wanted to escape this situation, it was easier to trust her instincts. And they all but screamed at her to stay away from this man.
Unbeknownst to Kakashi, he was only the third person to set foot into the Uchiha district that night. And just like the other two he didn't enter through the main gate — instead opting to use the cover which the dark face of the new moon so generously provided.
Mist as thick as milk slowly flooded the streets of Konohagakure, swallowing every sound. All in all, it was the perfect night for those operations one might refer to as 'A bit against the law, but couldn't be helped'.
In Kakashi's case, it wasn't exactly that he was going against the law — it was more like he was straining the boundaries of his arrangement with the Hokage. For example by gaining access to the house of Uchiha Yashiro.
But for all that, Kakashi found it quite easy to forget his queasy conscious.
The counters of the kitchen were covered with a thick layer of dust, just like the shelves and most of the other objects. There was something unpleasant about the smell of a house that had not yet lost the presence of its previous inhabitants.
It was probably this thought, amongst some others, that made Kakashi feel like an intruder as he started to carefully explore the many rooms. Now that he had a theory, the proof was all he needed and as expected he was unable to find Fuu's smell which would support his theory that she never actually had been Uchiha Yashiro's servant.
'Although there has to be lick of truth to it. Nobody can create memories from scratch.'
Entering another room the copy ninja found himself in the study; a room that had evidently been regularly used. Personal objects were spread on the ground and the desk. Some papers showed a bold signature which had to be the one of the late Uchiha Yashiro.
He half turned to continue elsewhere when he caught sight of the picture frames. They sat upon the shelf next to the desk and most of them showed groups wearing the fan symbol of the Uchiha clan. Then there was an old, yellowed team photo and…
… one frame was missing.
And judging by the outline of the dust-free spot, someone had removed it quite recently. A quick scan of the room didn't help to clear the mystery of the obvious gap but Kakashi wasn't ready to give up. A person had been here to especially remove this one picture so…
The image of a pale face with wide green eyes involuntarily entered his mind.
'Of course!' Kakashi thought as he tried to change his perspective. 'Futaba tries to erase her presence and all the traces which could disclose her identity. This means that I am on the right track and it is indeed Futaba, not Fuu, who has connections to the Uchiha Clan.'
As if his discovery had blown her cover, Kakashi's heightened senses picked up on the low creak of the old floorboards.
To think that the Hatake would actually be able to trace her back to her old master's home, was admittedly something that Futaba had not thought possible. At least not with the given circumstances and Fuu's colorful tales as his only reliable source.
But here he was, sniffing around so close to what he sought — both the information as well as the person itself.
'Well, he isn't called a prodigy for nothing' Futaba grumbled to herself as she moved towards the living room and her alternative escape route. 'Although he would be more helpful to me if he were to return home and guard the clone.'
With practiced ease her feet carried her across the old floorboards soundlessly. Her exit would have to be quick and while she was at it, she could probably afford to place a few clones of Fuu around Konoha to get the Hatake off her track.
Momentarily pleased with her change of plans, the guardian spirit turned around the corner, carefully measuring the distance to the copy ninja.
It wasn't, however, before she reached for the grasp of the sliding door that she noticed her biggest mistake.
Who had said that the Hatake always operated alone?
With his speed, Kakashi's sight blurred as he hurried to the source of noise. His Sharingan shone eerily in the complete darkness of the mist-wrapped house while his feet found their way — just as easily as another pair had before him.
Kakashi tasted the excitement on the tip of his tongue. Of course he had wanted to engage this strange guardian spirit ever since that scene in the hospital; where he had been to weak to move and she too distressed to pose an actual threat.
So with a set of kunai between his fingers and maybe a little more enthusiasm than strictly necessary, the jonin entered the living room. A huge wave of his tingling chakra followed his entry, delayed only by a second.
"You!" he whispered incredulously as his eyes immediately sought the source of the strange presence.
The figure, who had been standing motionless in front of the sliding doors opening to the gardens, now turned away from the seemingly solid wall of mist to take a look at Kakashi's agitated face.
"Disappointed?" he chuckled without a care in the world.
"What are you doing here, Sato?"
"It spoils nothing to say that I have a fondness for abandoned places."
"Fondness, my ass! You've known about Futaba's part in this for far longer than I have!"
"And that surprises you? Poor little Hatake-boy, you forget that it's sometimes easier to join an investigation once it has progressed a little. You, on the other hand, have already lost your focus due to your absurd attachment for this girl."
"Don't even try to divert my attention, Sato! I'm done playing along. That you're here means that you never actually cared about Fuu — you're only interested in the damn guardian spirit! Tell me, is it the information you want to sell, or were you promised the design of that seal? Will they, whichever taker offers the most, allow you to drain Fuu of all her blood? Was this your plan all along? To bet on the life of a four year old girl?"
"…"
"See, you can't even deny it!"
"Since when does Hatake Kakashi get emotional? You're starting to remind me of that impulsive kunoichi who has no control whatsoever…"
"All you ever say —"
"What? I am aware that whatever I say is quite clever."
"When the Hokage advised me to trust you, I never thought that you would turn out to be not only one conceited, but also selfish and corrupt bastard! Believe me—… what?!"
"… Oh, please! Don't mind me and just continue. It seems like you've gotten quite into your stride, so there's no need to swallow you tongue."
"Shut up! … Fuu, she — the security seals of her room have been broken!"
"Don't tell me that you've left her all on her own…"
"What did you do?"
"Although I too have a soft spot for pointing at the closest scapegoat available, this is something that you're responsible for yourself. Or do you actually want to tell me that you've forgotten about Danzo, Hatake-boy?"
— the last day —
The moment Futaba reached the borders of Konoha, she felt her first clone disappear. With one last glance over her shoulder, she quickly calculated the chain of events. Even with the thick mist, the Hatake surely wouldn't waste his time chasing clones once he knew that this was merely a distraction.
While a part of her wished that she could have finished listening to the talk between the copy ninja and that strange old man, she doubted that there would have been another chance for her escape. The guardian spirit was actually quite grateful to the stranger.
Now, however, Futaba took one deep breath to gather chakra to the bottom of her feet, preparing to run until the sun came up.
"I'll give you a chance of ten percent and that's only because I am feeling strangely generous today."
The voice was so close that she could smell the sweetness of tobacco in his breath.
It was a first for her to feel the heat of a body before noticing the gentle throbs of its heart. Never before had anyone been able to trick her like this and she immediately knew that he was aware of her abilities. His pulse was calm in comparison and each thud made it painfully obvious that she had been terribly naive to assume that this man wouldn't be able to follow her.
'Old man, my ass!'
"Keep your hands where I can see them and don't turn around, Futaba" the voice commanded, unaffected by the way her fingers twitched in response. "Don't even think for one second that this fog will give you any advantage."
Given his successful ambush, she could have been dead by now. But she wasn't.
"How do you know my name?" Futaba asked in an attempt to distract him long enough to reach his heart.
"Now, now… I wouldn't try that." Despite the amusement in his voice, a huge wave of chakra easily crushed the feelers she had extended towards him. "Nothing to find where you're looking."
Feeling him even closer to her back, the panic in her voice became more evident, "Who are you?"
"Right now?" he actually paused for a moment to think about it. "A concerned citizen of Konoha, doing what every concerned citizen would do."
"I very much doubt that every concerned citizen of Konoha would know my name…"
He merely chuckled, "Taking your shape and determination into consideration, you'll have two to five minutes before he catches you."
The person who had been messing with her for the last couple of days didn't seem to particularly mind this idea. He simply stated facts. However, Futaba was unable to ignore the alarm bells ringing in her head, "Who are you talking about?"
"Then he will extract Fuu's spirit, replace it with someone else's and finally activate the last part of your seal" he continued, disregarding her interjection completely. "You will die, Futaba. There is a high possibility that it will be extremely painful… Oh, and Fuu will be nothing more than a piece of junk."
A long moment of silence followed his words. Futaba stared at the street with empty eyes while trying to find anything she could say. There was however that ringing in her ears that drowned every bit of reason.
"I kind of made a deal… to turn you in. Whether you take it personal or not, I actually don't care. After all he doesn't take it too personal either, right?"
"Turn me in? … To the Hokage?"
"Now, now, deary. Don't get your hopes up. Sometimes one does have to scratch nasty people's backs to get by…"
"Hiroko" she concluded while the name felt like sandpaper on her tongue. Something in her snapped painfully. "You're selling me to my father."
He actually applauded her, "I knew you were a clever girl! He's slowly getting impatient, you know."
So this was the end. Crushed between the impatient chakra of her father and the man who had worked for him all this time. Fuu would suffer. There was no ally on her side… This was how she would die. Quite different from what she had expected, but maybe the White Snake Sage had only meant to provoke her premature death. Predicting that Orochimaru would be the one to…
Breaking apart her chapped lips, Futaba raised her head, "Of course."
And with the last words still in the air, the guardian spirit decided to throw every last bit of caution in the wind as she lunged herself at the man behind her.
It started to rain when the silver haired jonin arrived at the scene of the fight. The mist vanished as quickly as it had flooded the streets and suddenly everything fit together. Futaba's preparations to leave, Sato's appearance, the disappearance of his ward…
But instead of worry, the great copy ninja tasted anger. For that retired shinobi, who had played him so that Danzo could take action, for his supposed friends who had been unable to protect Fuu, for the good-for-nothing guardian spirit and lastly Fuu herself.
Without her he'd still be able to not care.
Speeding up the spin of his Sharingan, he was able to track a residual charge of chakra in the air, right where some deep rifts gaped open to his feet.
The street had been torn open with brute force while some of the surrounding houses featured dents of various sizes. It was quite evident that two forces had collided here; two to be reckoned with. Around him people called for their friends and family, fear lacing their voices and he could tell from the sound of it that they were on the way to find the source of noise.
Not planning on wasting his time by calming alarmed civilians, Kakashi quickly scanned the scene. There was a lot of blood, even if the rain would soon wash it all away. A few feet away, he even discovered a small puddle that had been smeared across the street. As if the wounded person had been trying to crawl away…
His mismatched eyes followed the direction to where the distinct metallic scent disappeared in the forest behind the wall of the village.
'Sunflowers' he noted and swallowed around the lump in his throat. Fuu's guardian spirit had definitely been involved here. But where had Fuu disappeared to? Surely Futaba would not have taken her along? But why should she have left the girl behind? It wouldn't make any sense for her to abandon her after all this.
Except if Danzo had pried the child from the cold fingers of the guardian spirit…
Turning his back to the scene of the fight, Kakashi called for his most trusted ninken, "Pakkun, find Fuu. Fast!"
With the mouthpiece of his pipe clicking restlessly between his teeth, Sarutobi Hiruzen watched over the village from the top of the Hokage's residence. At this hour of day, most of the civilians had already returned to their families and homes. Yet, no matter how peaceful the streets appeared so short before midnight, the Sandaime knew that something was bound to happen.
He sensed the huge cloud of chakra hovering above the forest around them. He felt the wind change its direction. He felt it in his very bones that the small and big wheels of the future were working like a clockwork.
And he would be unable to change anything about it. However, it would be up to him to deal with the aftermath.
Moving away from the railing of the roof terrace, the Hokage decided to return to his office, now that his pipe had gone out.
Mere minutes ago, he had put his signature below the documents for Fuu's transfer — reluctantly so. Hundreds of these documents had already left his hands, but this one time he had allowed himself a short moment of reconsideration.
Sure, that child had connections to a man who had attacked two shinobi of this village. Not to mention that there was the possibility of her passing through the hands of his former student Orochimaru… So was this some twisted trick or simply a small girl who had stumbled across the wrong people?
In the end he had signed it. Despite knowing about Futaba.
Both Kakashi and Sato had been quite specific when it came to her. It was however hard for him to believe that she was indeed a living and breathing being. While the young Hatake had obviously been anything but pleased with that spirit's interfering, Sato had accepted it surprisingly easily.
'Oh, the irony' he thought to himself, as he walked down the corridor to his office. 'Including Danzo, I've got three of the most troublesome shinobi of this village attached to one of the messiest cases.'
When he opened the door, a sweet fragrance greeted him. For a second Sarutobi Hiruzen froze, his whole body ready to face the intruder — whom he had half expected, if he was honest.
There, perched on the chair in front of his desk, a figure patiently awaited him. Hair untamed and dark like an animal, the body straight up against the backrest without touching it and a form scraggy enough to show the edges of bones. Slowly, almost desperately so, the estranged human being rose to stand in front of him.
Covered in bruises and blood, she met his stare with a startling pair of brightly shining emeralds.
"Good evening, Lord Hokage" the woman whispered with a hoarse voice as she bowed as deeply as her injuries allowed; blood dripping to the floor from the wound which she covered quickly with her hand. "I would like to discuss my terms of surrender, if it is convenient right now."
This is the end of the first part and I am sure you still have many questions. I hope that the length of this chapter could at least compensate a little for my long absence (hopefully it didn't turn out not too long...) and I sincerely hope that you'll continue reading. As always, I would appreciate it if you'd leave a short comment! :)
BabySealLover: Hello stranger!
I want to thank you again for the review you wrote for the last chapter. Your words always encourage me and I am especially proud that I could make you laugh with the crayons part (you probably don't remember what I am even talking about :D). About the rest; I actually felt really horrible for writing the last scene and how much Fuu and Kakashi hurt, respectively. It was awful, but at the same time necessary for Kakashi at least. From this point on, everything's becoming even more difficult - hopefully this time I am able to update sooner :)
I hope that this chapter did not disappoint!
My exams period ends with the start of august so please bear with me until then, I really want to thank anyone who continues to read!