AN: I sincerely apologize for the unexpectedly long hiatus. Those who checked my profile may have noticed that the majority of this chapter had already been written months ago. I want, however, to thank you guys for the continued support — the occasional notification during the last weeks reminded me that there were people waiting for the continuation. So, here it is: the first chapter of the second part!
P.S. There's a rather foul-mouthed snake summon at some point.
Music: "Romani Holiday (Antonius Remix)" of the Sherlock Holmes OST. This song had actually been the one I listened to when I gathered the first ideas for this story. It would have been the first chapter, but then I decided to go with this version.
PART 2
- Chapter 15 -
An Unlucky Deer
There was something undeniably thrilling about the first seconds of disorientation after stepping into a forest in the middle of the night. It appealed to a part of you that couldn't help but answer to this yawning blackness, yet made you at the same time feel incredibly small and lost. If anything, it was like literally jumping in at the deep end; a comprise of being forcefully robbed of one sense, only to heighten the others — followed by just the right amount of excitement and fear.
'And how I loved it' Futaba thought bitterly as soon as she caught sight of the cowering darkness in the distance.
For someone like her, who was far more attuned to the many different compositions of darkness, there actually used to be a certain kind of beauty to it — probably in the way that the imposing body of overlapped tree figures moved as one, like a huge breathing thing.
She remembered how it had taken her almost three years to consider the night as hers.
Her daytime, her guide, her strangely loyal companion during the more hopeless moments in her life.
Plus another year of moving on from mourning the sun to learning as many names of the star constellations as she saw fit, before finally allowing for her fondness of them to grow…
In the end, half a year had been enough to destroy this timid bond of friendship. Just a little over five months, spent in the maddening solitude of a lightless prison, forced to crawl on all fours like an animal — and once again it became as essential as breathing for her to curse this dreaded blackness.
Now that the timber line in front of her drew near, however, Futaba suddenly started to question her earlier confidence. But if stepping inside this forest would save her from being dragged back to that place, 'giving up' wasn't really an option. Even if it might prove to be a dangerous gamble to accept blindness in exchange for the faint chance of throwing her pursuers off.
Especially since they happened to be of the persistent kind — abundant in number and familiar enough with their prey to know most of its tricks and shortcomings.
And yet, it wasn't like Futaba had much of a choice. They obviously wouldn't let up any more than she was inclined to surrender to them. So instead, she chose to make the most of her speed as she slipped through the first line of trees.
Silence.
Trunks so densely packed together that it was hard to maneuver through.
Then, without warning, a steep hillside with roots keen to either trip or strangle you.
Spiderwebs of questionable sizes.
Stale air heavily mingled with invisible things rotting away…
Futaba focused on the feeling of the rough bark against the burning skin of her legs, her shoulders and calloused hands. It was easier than to deal with the surges of panic that befell her at the close proximity of the old wood. How strange that the blackness still nurtured such a strong sense of claustrophobia inside her — even after all this time.
To add to her growing panic, her chakra, as always terribly sensitive to her emotions, easily highlighted the hearts behind her. And they surely, undoubtedly, were catching up to her.
{Your chakra level will soon be too low to mask your scent. Not to mention that there's still blood on you from that decapitated deer…}
The voice inside of her head had so far pretended to be exceptionally patient with her that night. He had only bothered to slip in whenever the fear threatened to quash the last bits of her rationality — something which happened more and more frequently now that she was no longer able to focus properly. Fatigue and constant paranoia shortening her attention span to one-tenth of its actual capacity.
Earlier that night, there had been an incident where she had missed noticing one of the traps set around her camp — a curtesy of her impatient trackers. And while she had managed to avoid a direct hit, the innocent deer who happened to be too close to her right at that moment had turned out to be less lucky.
Now its blood was slowly drying on Futaba's skin, reminding her again and again of how narrowly she had escaped.
'There's a river coming down north' she finally noted before changing her direction accordingly.
She could tell that her brother once again re-evaluated her chakra reserves before his voice resonated in her head, {Try to wash off some of that blood before you continue on your way. If you fail to shake them off, they'll seize you at the break of dawn.}
Futaba decided that the blatant resignation in his voice hurt even more than the truth of his words. Once her scent left a distinct trail, they'd corner her for sure.
So with a small burst of chakra she accelerated skywards, bouncing between the trees as if her muscles weren't sore enough to capitulate any moment. It cost her about the same amount of willpower to not succumb to her anger boiling so close beneath the surface.
Of course it was easy for him to advise her from the sidelines. He wasn't here, fighting with burning lungs while his body writhed to be either free or shut down entirely. It hurt to know that her efforts to save Fuu and herself were never enough in his eyes — nor would she ever be as strong as her brother needed her to be.
Maybe he might have been more willing to call her to his side, if she were a true kunoichi — with proper training and years of experience under her belt. They could have protected each other just like siblings were supposed to.
Instead she'd been assigned the role of the dead weight; a liability drawn to trouble — just like a moth who couldn't fight being attracted to the light.
Right in that moment, however, Futaba would have loved to shove it right in his face: The fear of getting caught. The exhaustion that worked hand in hand with her desperation. The knowledge of what awaited her, should she fail. The fate Fuu would suffer…
She knew that she could. She could show him actually quite plainly what it was like for her. But as always it was the unwavering affection for her little brother that won in the end; unchanged despite everything that now stood between them.
It was probably the only thing that kept her from showing him the true and ugly face of her desperation.
"I could try to corrupt their teamwork" Futaba finally suggested, her voice skittering across the scale due to the constant lack of oxygen and its rare use. It was rather obvious that her frustration finally got the better of her, bringing the words to her lips before she could transfer them to him mentally.
Her brother then steered a middle course between ignoring and addressing her emotions that dared to bubble over any second, {Do you believe it will work?}
"No" Futaba answered truthfully, glad that her sensitized nose finally picked up on the loam of the riverbank. She organized her mind to elaborate a little, 'They work on a highly individual basis while competing for Orochimaru's approval, so there's always tension and suspicion no matter the grouping. Each time they have to make a decision they will inevitably hesitate. I intend to buy enough time so that I won't have to face any of them.'
It was then that her brother finally understood that she didn't necessarily fear her pursuers, but rather the possibility of having to actually fight them. His answer was a burst of helpless rage – potently mixed with his inability to comprehend her reasons – and once again his presence faded from the back of her mind.
The immediate feeling of loss surprised Futaba with its intensity, but the gentle purling of the small stream quickly redirected her attention.
'They have not been here yet' she observed with relief, taking a few steps into the river.
The water was cold enough to numb her skin and for moment she was surprised that there was barely a current to undermine her feet. Consciously reaching to touch her sore throat, Futaba bent down to scoop some water.
For now she would wash away some of the blood and soothe her angry flesh, almost raw from two weeks of straight running. Not to mention that she had collected quite a number of cuts and bruises during her more abrupt departures.
As expected, the disadvantage of her night and day transformations had cost Futaba most of the lead. It was something she had learned to factor into her plans of survival. Yet the she couldn't shake off the feeling that she had missed something quite important.
'If only I knew why he suddenly decided to send them after me… There's no reason for him to change his mind after all this time' she thought with her stomach clenching uncomfortably — be it due to the handfuls of cold water or the echo of his anger.
Futaba allowed her head to fall back so that she could stare up to the tree crown so high above her. In moments such as these, she wondered if she would ever see the sun again. The darkness around her was so smooth and perfect that she found it hard to even believe in the existence of the brightest of stars.
Caught up in her indecision to continue now that she had finally come to a stop, it took Futaba some time to notice the small ray of moonlight which had found its way to the ground. She couldn't help but marvel as it hit the surface of water and bounced off; illuminating the riverside with a lively pattern.
It also added an almost precious glitter to the scales of the huge snake that blocked the flow of the river with its enormous body only a few feet from her.
At first Futaba thought that her mind was playing tricks on her, but then her eyes involuntarily traveled along the resting form of the beast.
Suddenly her chakra-flow slowed until it felt like sandpaper scraping by her pathways.
There was no sound.
No scent.
Only dread.
She raised her trembling fingers in exact the same moment something appeared with a rustle behind her. With only a softly mouthed 'Kai' Futaba realized that she didn't stand even the slightest chance.
There was a warm tongue greeting her eagerly when she turned her head ever so slightly. It caressed her throat from both sides with its split ends — the touch feathery on her sweaty skin as the creature breathed her in. It encouraged her to reach the inevitable conclusion just as the moonlight disappeared and left her in complete darkness once again.
"Look who walked right into the obvvviouss trap… Now let me tear you to piecesss, you traitorousss lil' bitch."
She was no longer alone.
{— TABA! FUTABA — RUN!}
But she was unable to move. Unable to even think straight or feel the pain of her sore body. She couldn't even appreciate her brother's return for support.
'How could I have missed it? It had been a genjutsu all along… When- Why did he join the hunt?'
{DAMN IT, FUTABA! SNAP OUT OF IT! RUN!}
"Futaba-san? Can you hear me?"
The voice soaked through the strangely vivid reverberations of that specific episode in the forest. It was a strange sensation. The voices around her were both muffled, but at the same time uncomfortably loud. Just like how the light was too bright for her taste.
Returning to reality wasn't exactly pleasant.
'I'm still in Konoha although I intended to leave it behind tonight… so I went to the compound to erase evidence, but there was the… Hatake and the other man who then attacked me on my way out of the village. He wanted to sell me to Hiroko…' Futaba recapitulated, feeling the familiar knot in her chest that always tightened whenever she thought about her father. 'I made it out alive and with no other option left, I turned to the only one who could possibly delay my death, keep Fuu save.'
Forcing her limp tongue to push the words out of her mouth, Futaba finally murmured, "Please pardon me, Lord Hokage… I wasn't aware that… I had stopped talking."
Expecting some sort of punishment for zoning out, she braced herself as best as she could. After all, this was supposed to be a proper interrogation and while they had agreed not to harm Fuu in any way, she wouldn't object if they saw fit to hurt her. For Fuu's sake, she couldn't — shouldn't fight back.
Cool fingertips brushed against the side of her face and it was so eerily familiar that her chest immediately tightened, making her recoil. She couldn't breath. It became impossible to even think. But instead of the inevitable pain, someone pressed the rim of a cup to her lips and she swallowed readily, more confused than apprehensive.
"Please don't worry, Futaba-san. I adhere to my promise" the voice interjected as if sensing her suspicion. Again the cup was brought to her lips and this time she breathed in the herbal scent. "It's only something to bring down your fever. Why don't you take a moment to allow for it to operate properly?"
In her dazed state Futaba wondered if the Hokage really meant her no harm. So far they had been awfully considerate of her; even going as far as patching her up provisionally before refilling the amount of lost blood with strong painkillers.
A gesture she truly appreciated.
Now the Sarutobi even proposed his questions with a softness in his voice that could easily be reduced to a considerable amount of patience and maybe a tinge of something else entirely — something more personal.
Feeling the fog around her lift, Futaba had to actually force her head up to meet the speculative eyes of the Sandaime. The blood loss and strain on her body were slowly getting to her. He knew that as well. She could see it in his conflicted gaze that warily followed even the smallest of her movements.
Her mouth was still uncomfortably dry, her skin itchy and a bit too tight on her. Even her teeth hurt from all the times she had clenched them too hard during her narration. It was difficult to tell but Futaba assumed that she had spent most of the night with answering the Hokage's questions.
His face opposite of hers wasn't unkind, however. Even now that his own exhaustion formed a more defined crease between his brows, he liberally allowed her another minute and only when Futaba was finally able to properly focus her eyes, he finally urged, "What happened after you broke free from the genjutsu?"
Swallowing against the wish to push these memories to the furthest corners of her mind, Futaba tried to pick up where she had left off.
A blast of air to her right alerted the guardian spirit to the approaching danger – only a second before the head of the snake made a dive for her. She managed to avoid its fangs only by a hair's breadth before the huge body pushed past her; rough scales scraping against her ribcage until she was brought to all fourth with a searing hot pain.
There was a loud crash which resulted in a rain of splinters as the giant snake burst through the undergrowth right next to her. Its angry cry — half hiss, half screech — made Futaba's skin crawl as she held firmly to her bleeding ribs. It sounded like a firm promise of more pain and she was now able to feel an echo of the animal's aversion, which easily bordered on hate.
Futaba was however hardly in need of another hint.
After all one could say that they were old acquaintances — Manda and her.
The snake had definitely gotten his point across during one of the many occasion on which he had tried to devour her. Not even his supposed master had been able to control this mindless bloodthirst — much to his own annoyance. Still, it wasn't like Futaba had angered the snake or its kin willingly and up to this day, she had been unable to discover the reason for the creature's animosity.
{At least one opponent for you to get serious about. I was getting worried that you'd try and cuddle up to each one of them.}
'Oh shut up!' Futaba snapped automatically, before focusing on the situation at hand.
With about as much grace as a toddler taking its first steps, she stumbled down a path she believed narrow enough to protect her from a direct attack. As soon as Manda lost sight of her, however, he simply used the tip of his tail to sweep away the trees like little toys. Futaba only managed to avoid the attack because one of trees had pushed her inside a small pit of the uneven forest ground.
Half buried by dirt and splintered wood, Futaba spit out the leaves of a branch that had almost succeeded in ripping off her nose.
Here she was, trying to run away from Orochimaru's notoriously murderous boss summon — and while she felt raw with pain and exhaustion, Manda was still in admirable shape. The only upside to this situation was the fact that in his rage Manda was blinded by his desire to simply rip her up. Hence his hate fueled attacks lacked in precision and were unnecessarily forceful; making the ground shake beneath its gigantic form.
With only a bit of luck, Futaba would have been able to put a little distance between Manda and herself. She might have even been able to once again make a narrow escape that night…
… if only it weren't for her other pursuers.
She could now tell that there were six of them. Five flanking her from both sides to make sure that she would head directly for the initiator of this little game of tag.
Despite the many emotions cursing through her own system, Futaba couldn't help but notice the difference in Orochimaru's presence. While he certainly hadn't warmed up to her since her sudden departure, there was no perceptible spike in his chakra when she brushed her spirit against his. Instead he remained surprisingly calm, except maybe the subtle tremble of anticipation…
'If you were to die by my hands, it would be quick.'
It was strange how his presence alone conquered her mind with memories she had long meant to bury.
But those words, whether spoken in earnest or cruel jest, had been one of the reasons why Futaba had opted to run back then. Because her death could have been easily arranged, it was more likely that Orochimaru intended to once again get creative with how he'd use her…
Sensing her confusion, her brother tried to call her attention back to the current situation. {Sooo… will you take on one of his little companions or do you prefer his oversized pet?}
Agreeing with him that she had not that many options left, Futaba quickly determined the direction from where Manda closed in and intentionally changed her own path. The huge mass of seething blood proved to be undeterred by her sidestepping and his head zoomed after her. Futaba directly headed towards the next tree in her way which she then used for a powerful backflip. Or at least that was what she had intended to do.
The moment her legs bent, however, a sudden and searing pain reminded her of the wounded ankle.
If she had not already been blindfolded by darkness, her sight surely would have gone black from the sudden intensity of the pain. She couldn't help the poorly muffled gasp when the next branch proved to be too uneven to properly push herself up in the air.
In the end her jump wasn't nearly high enough.
Manda's ugly head, outlined by the adrenaline infused blood pulsing through its veins, moved towards her with unbridled speed. It was a sight that could easily terrify someone who came face to face with it for the first time. Futaba however was more than familiar with this perspective. Aware that this time no one would take pity on her, she created a clone right beneath her, pressing her hands against its back to raise herself to the necessary height.
With a thunderous crack, not unlike that of two clashing rocks, the snake snapped its razor-sharp teeth around what was supposed to be the flailing body of a young woman. Said flailing woman, however, had been quick enough to grab one of the summon's nostrils just as the shadow clone burst beneath the sharp fangs.
Together with the small explosive tag attached to its shoulder.
{Nice!} her brother congratulated her just before Manda, in an attempt to rid himself of the paper, opened his mouth — only to spit a blazing ball of fire.
It ate its way though the surrounding woods; a crackling thunder leaving behind a swath of destruction.
After hours of darkness it was painful to look at, so Futaba turned away from the heat. She instead met the right eye of the snake and for a second she almost felt guilty as the vertical pupil dilated in pain.
"CURSSSE YOU!" Manda cried as he extinguished most of the fire with the blood pouring from his mouth. "You and your bloody kin! That fool Orochimaru should have killed you when he still had the chance! You're just like a nasssty rat. You carry bad fortune like it's a diseassssse!"
{And you almost felt bad for this oversized worm.}
Knowing full well that the giant snake only needed a little bit more of encouragement, Futaba dug her fingers inside the sensitive flesh of his nostrils. Just as expected, Manda answered with a roar and a violent shake of his head, swearing vilely, "YOU LIL' SHIT!"
She had trouble holding onto the rearing animal, but knew that there was only one right moment to let go.
Manda was beyond mad by now and it was when he shook his head to the right that Futaba loosened her grip. Branches hit every inch of her as she was catapulted to the very top of the trees, through the crown of rustling leaves and high up in the cool night air.
Everything slowed, blurred until even Futaba believed to have lost consciousness.
The muffled sounds and smoke unfurling beneath her hinted that Manda had returned to the Ryuchi Cave — much to Futaba's relief. She managed to turn slightly, seeing the dying embers of the fire through teary eyes. They shone in the billows of smoke rising from the spot from where the summon had disappeared.
'I have almost no chakra left' Futaba thought, as the wind tore at her battered body. She also noticed that her pursuers were quick to close up to her, albeit a bit more hesitant after having witnessed how she had dealt with the giant snake.
From the distance their shuriken almost looked like startled birds rising from the trees in a glittering swarm. And while it was strangely beautiful to look at, it made Futaba realize that she'd run until dropping dead. They had not intervened when Manda had almost succeeded in ripping her to shreds. They wouldn't now.
Because their objective wasn't to run her down.
Unsure how to properly communicate her half-baked decision, Futaba gently poked the brooding presence inside her head, 'It's probably time to find out what he wants. And I believe that you shouldn't be present for this. I could never forgive myself if he should ever find a way to exploit our connection.'
Futaba sensed his surprise, before his hesitant question confirmed it, {Are you sure?}
'Yes' she decided, fixing her eyes on the rapidly approaching ground. Gathering the chakra in the empty hollow of her stomach, she felt the exhaustion clouding her mind as she created the last clone that night.
Futaba packed it with all her hope that it would keep Orochimaru's followers busy so that she could talk to him without anyone interfering. Unable to avoid the gaze of her own copy, she stared into the green of her own eyes before the body dove into the forest and quickly disappeared.
{Whatever you do… don't you dare even trust him for a second. Do you hear me?}
'Never again' Futaba promised him, her heart strangely heavy with the unspoken goodbye.
Her brother withdrew from her mind then, though he lingered; unwilling to have her face the person who had changed her more than either of them would like to admit.
Futaba however quickly re-erected the walls around her consciousness before preparing for the next step.
She started with tori, the bird seal, and quickly moved on with her brows slightly furrowed. Her fingers seemed reluctant to flex in the ways she needed them to but somehow she managed in time. With every seal she slowed her fall before finishing with the hare just in time for her feet to touch the crown of the first tree.
It never ceased to amaze Futaba — despite the many times she had used this jutsu.
She couldn't help but hold her breath as she was overwhelmed by the exhilarating feeling of how her body once again defied gravity. With the tip of her foot she bopped on the leaf, before she surrendered herself to the wind which quickly carried her forward.
Usually it demanded great skill to use the different currents of the air to her advantage but tonight it came to her with natural ease. Just like how her pursuers finally fell for her last trick. They trailed the clone without even slowing down, so all that was left for Futaba was the task of finding a suitable stage for her little tête-à-tête.
"What is the name of this last jutsu? It seems quite remarkable — especially if one should still be able to use it with chakra reserves as low as yours were back then."
"It does not have a name — at least none that I am aware of, Lord Hokage."
"Was it a jutsu Orochimaru invented himself before he taught it to you?"
"No, he— Actually he never taught me. The jutsu was just something I made up, something to kill time. It actually never worked that well before I learned how to properly use hand seals."
"If you hadn't been so modest before, I would have to now call you a liar, Futaba-san."
"I did not—"
"It is not the fact that Orochimaru hasn't been the one to teach you, although I do wonder if he ever recognized your potential… He may have had a reason to allow you to discover your abilities on your own. In consideration of your apparent success, it is indeed fascinating."
"…"
"Regardless of his reasons, I suspected that you lied to me, because it's almost unheard of that a — if you'll pardon my choice of words — mere civilian should be able to invent jutsu on her own. It's something that takes a lot of experience, knowledge and deep understanding of the nature of chakra. Not many have undertaken the research necessary to properly handle these arts and it's hardly something one would do to 'kill time'."
"I never thought of it as anything special, but should I have offended you, Lord Hokage, I sincerely apologize. Such was not my intention."
"Hm, I see. It's something that we will definitely look into at some later point. But for now I would like to hear about your encounter with Orochimaru. If procurable, I would like you to give back word for word what he told you."
"Of course, I will try my best…"
In the end, it was the limit of her own chakra which prompted Futaba to finally land in a small opening. By now her senses were raw with exhaustion and pain. She smelt what she saw, felt the colors around her press against her numbed skin – something that had only happened once before.
Even if she wanted to, running was no longer an option. Strangely though, it was the finality of this that made her pain easier to bear and allowed her to remain on her two feet when she first touched the ground. Careful not to put too much weight on her injured ankle, Futaba dissipated the jutsu and took a deep breath before inspecting her surroundings.
The clearing was close to the opening of the gorge, the one which stretched for miles and miles through the forest. From above it had looked like a particularly nasty scar with the silver of the river winding its way through the depths. Futaba found herself moving closer to the bold edge, even if the idea of standing so close to yet another precipice made her feel slightly nauseous.
Especially since she was no longer alone.
He made his arrival known with a slight drop in the temperature, followed by the descent of absolute silence as was the power of his Ki.
At times Futaba had wondered whether it was something that he still did consciously, or if it were just his twisted thoughts that had turned his chakra poisonously unpleasant. Either way, she found that it was quite a tedious thing to ponder on. Especially since coming here could easily prove to be her last mistake.
Without uttering a word, Futaba straightened her back – grateful that he wasn't witness to the grimace pulling on both sides of her face. Her defiance, as shown by her refusal to properly greet him, seemed to amuse him however; even if it could barely outweigh the flare of unspoken threats as he approached her.
It was in the short moment, just before his finger unexpectedly alighted on her exposed neck, that Futaba feared her soul might just break from of her body. This was everything she had been running from and every fiber of her being screamed at her to do something, anything to get away from this man.
But suddenly there it was — his finger, cold as a cadaver on her feverish skin.
He ran it from behind her ear to where her neck met the shoulder, before his deep voice brushed against the side of her face, "Have I ever told you that this boldness of yours is quite corruptive, if not strangely alluring? It always made me pause long enough to postpone killing you."
His chuckle lacked warmth – his tone any hint of what such words would usually suggest.
Realizing that his touch alone had rendered her immobile with fear, Futaba was glad that at least her voice didn't betray her as she murmured, "It would be nice if this sentiment would extend to your summons. At least to some degree."
"Hm, it's a pity, really" he hummed close to her ear. "I probably should have known better than to involve Manda. Now I will have to gather a least a hundred sacrifices before I can call on him again… So apparently you weren't in the mood to humor him?" he concluded as he halfheartedly appealed to her better nature with that touch of mock disappointment.
Futaba silently wondered if he expected her to turn around with that slightly crooked smile of hers – the one she had always offered to him in return for his more honest attempts at apologizing to her. Well, if one considered rubbing salt into the wound of another person as an adequate version of 'sorry'.
The more rational part of her however actually took a second to consider his choice of approach.
If he had come with the intention to kill her, she'd already be dead by now. So there had to be another explanation for him to provoke her by throwing his favorite summon into the ring.
Again his finger ghosted across her arm, wordlessly mocking her for actually trembling in his presence. "Regardless, I have decided that I will take it as a sign of your goodwill that you chose to come to me in the end. Such a brave little traitor, aren't you?"
The second that the hot surge of fury dispelled the anxiety clouding Futaba's mind, she turned towards him – ready to unleash the emotions which she had dragged along all this time. They had been heavy and painful and so very demanding. She had spent hours to sort through them, only to fail. And now he stood in front of her and he knew. Of course he did. When she eyed him with her face set in a grim frown, he read her like book.
The purple lines around his eyes crinkled slightly when one corner of his mouth curved with cruel satisfaction.
"I see that we still haven't learned how to express ourselves with proper words" the Snake Sannin tutted at her before finally allowing his eyes to take in her whole appearances. "Freedom seems to treat you well… Have you chosen to live with savages, my dear?"
As opposed to his intentions, his words didn't ruffle her. There was hardly anything she could set against his observations – after all, she probably appeared to him as inhuman as she felt. Matted strands of dark hair framing a sharp, dirt covered face… not to forget the torn, muddied, charred, bloodied, ripped, dripping pieces of fabric which happened to be the sad remains of her clothes.
"You don't look any different" she finally reciprocated – her gaze deliberately avoiding the golden glint of his eyes. But her observations were not quite true. His face was softer. The cheekbones still defined but no longer sharp with haughtiness. Without even trying to do so, Futaba sensed that the heart beating inside of him didn't truly belong to him. It was confusing to try and connect this face with such a foreign sound. His choice of container must have been still young. "I never imagined that you'd look so well." — '…considering that you're only a parasite nourished by your container's life force until you'll have to find a new host.'
Accepting her words as a tribute of praise, Orochimaru regarded her before turning from her to inspect the clearing. "You would have had the privilege of becoming my first candidate for the Fushi Tensei if you had not made the unfortunate choice to place Fuu above everything else, that is."
Unable to stop her body's response, she watched helplessly how her trembling hand let go of the bleeding wound at her side to curl up into a loose fist. There was almost something resigned in the way her head sunk, dirty strands of hair hiding whatever expression now crossed her features as she regarded the fresh blood on her fingers.
Throwing a casual glance over his shoulder, the Sannin's sharp eyes widened a fraction. Even before Futaba reached the peak of her emotions, the turning point of her struggles, he knew that he had finally managed to properly bait her.
The smile should have felt foreign on her lips, Futaba knew that. But if it did, it was more so because the muscles of her face had problems remembering. The moment she slowly raised her head, pointing her chin towards him challengingly, the pain faded to the back… her mind shifted to match his implications.
"Ah, of course." She found herself mimicking the conversational tone he had introduced to their little reunion. Cocking her head to one side she softened her voice, "It has to be Fuu's fault since we both could hardly be held responsible for our own mistakes, right? But I sure do hope that you haven't hunted me like an animal only to point fingers." — 'What brings you here? What do you need from me, Orochimaru?'
It was need, not want. Otherwise he would have come looking for her sooner and this might have saved her the trouble of spending half a year trying to get away from him. But then again, he had always been quite good at reminding everyone that all efforts directed against him were laughably futile.
And it appeared that he had just waited for a chance to reinforce his reputation once again. Only that he waited for her frown to deepen, before mentioning quite offhandedly, "Your father started moving again."
There it was.
That was how Orochimaru threw her completely off balance.
The worst part about it wasn't even that he knew the effect his words would have on her. It was the fact that now, after having it spelled out for her, Futaba could sense him. Faint, yes, but there it was. His presence had gradually increased without her even noticing it. And she had thought that missing the genjutsu had been the point where she had messed up.
Suddenly the gorge behind seemed to open up, causing her body to gravitate towards it and it took her a considerable amount of strength to pull away from its depth. The cool spray of the water rising from the river deep down covered her face and arms as she stared off into the distance.
Given the satisfaction to find helplessness etched upon her face, Orochimaru finally turned to follow her stare, "He's making his way up north, or so I heard."
Her shock combined with his amusement, which he of course couldn't be bothered to stifle, made her feel just so much worse. Especially when Orochimaru closed what little distance was left between them.
Maybe it was the desperation she yet had to conquer, or the fact that she was still in too deep a turmoil to recoil when he bathed in her waves of anger. He gripped her chin without force, but still firm enough to let her know that he wouldn't appreciate her pulling away.
"So, naturally I wanted to give you a proper goodbye, Futaba-chan."
Given no other choice but to meet his gaze, Futaba tried not to blink despite the growing need to do so. But while Orochimaru was a greater danger to her moral compass, her father… there was nothing as terrifying as the thought of ending up in his hands again.
The last thought wound around her neck like a pair of invisible hand. Her breathing became erratic — deep, then shallow. And it wouldn't go away no matter how hard she fought it.
With unusual patience Orochimaru waited for her first moment of panic to pass, before he suddenly yanked her chin up and then let go of her – only to watch her crumble to the ground. It was probably laughable to him. How easily he disarmed her sudden bravery born from the finality of this meeting. So when Futaba finally raised her head to look up at him, she wasn't surprised to find a disappointed frown on his face.
Futaba was aware that, with everything that had happened, she should be able to properly hate this man. Had she not more than once imagined to scratch his face until he would no longer deem her pathetic with that cruel twitch of his mouth? She had pictured how she would not stop until every last layer of his nasty snake skin lay in shreds to her feet.
It wasn't there now. The cruel smile. And strangely enough, Futaba could sense a similar inability in him. It suddenly became impossible to evoke the anger necessary to lift all those well prepared accusations off her tongue. And it only made her feel even weaker.
"What does this proper goodbye entail then?" Futaba asked with a strangely calm face, gently placing her hands on her knees buried in the soft gras beneath her. "Was it so that you could be the bearer of glad tidings?"
"Well, I can't deny that I was curious to see how you would react" he confessed unfazed, before he casually lifted his arm to present Futaba face to face with a white snake dangling only a hair's breadth in front of her. The animal showed its venomous teeth as it hissed at the woman on the ground, but then turned its attention to Orochimaru who send it to dismiss his men. Ignorant of the way Futaba's muscles tensed to the possible meaning of this order, he stared down at her coldly, "What are you going to do? Roll on your back and die like a good, obedient child?" Raising one eyebrow, the Snake Sannin adjusted the sleeve of his light grey kimono. "Though I might feel slightly offended since I applied a lot of effort to hide you from him."
"Indeed" Futaba agreed bitterly, unsure where he intended to take this conversation. "So generous of you to lock me away so that I would go mad."
As if this particular way of looking at things had not yet entered his mind, the snake summoner chuckled with surprising sincerity. It took Futaba a second to realize that he thought her to be overly dramatic.
'Of course' she thought with more resignation than anger. There was no place for frustration or ire with him. He grew bored of them all too quickly and that rarely ended well.
"You always were quite mad, Futaba" Orochimaru corrected her as if this was one of her qualities that he could have been fond of — in a world where he had not succeeded in erasing everything that failed to befit the egoistical nature of his whole being.
She scoffed to her own surprise at his words, but his observation gave her the strength to finally raise herself on two staggering feet.
He, however, simply continued, "There are those who destroy for destruction's sake because their nature is one of terror. Some even destroy because they can tell that something fascinating and new will rise from the ashes. There are so many ways. Yet you chose the one of self-destruction, repeatedly. I only watched because it's entertaining. Believe me, it is. But I could tell that due to your losses you slowly matured into something far more interesting."
"Even accepting to sacrifice so much for a child couldn't save you" Orochimaru pointed out with something akin to pity. "The simple notion of saving her had been the first step of no return and the moment we made our deal, you sold your sanity to me." His voice turned deep and colorless when he finally asked her mockingly, "Tell me, little guardian spirit, is she still the force that drives you?"
"It still bothers you."
"Because it was the reason why you betrayed me" he quietly offered in return with a smirk that added unnecessary cruelty to his serpentine features. "That was quite foolish of you and yet you couldn't be stopped."
Much to her surprise his words still hurt and unable to control it, she conveyed some of it to him.
A second later Futaba felt herself colliding with a tree and before she could land in a small heap to its feet, a hand grabbed her throat. She knew that the shock would wear off sooner rather than later. It was only a question of time until pain would blossom along her spine.
Still, Futaba blew the hair out of her face to stare back at Orochimaru. While he had rarely raised his hand against her, probably deeming her unworthy of such acknowledgement, she was no stranger to his temper. It was however hard to ignore the iron grip which could so easily suffocate her. Not to mention that his sickening killing intent still had not lost its paralyzing edge.
His eyes narrowed as he lowly hissed, "That's exactly the rebellious attitude that caused all this. You defied me by trying to manipulate me with your silly emotions! Did you actually expect me to just overlook this?"
"And who…"Futaba choked with her feet struggling to find purchase. "Who was the… one who told you… about my betrayal?"
Though it was difficult to see through the tears swimming in her eyes, Futaba was sure to catch him drawing his brows together. It gave her some reassurance to continue.
"You have ne–… never thought about it. Of course. Things have been… difficult between us,… right? So why should you question him?"
Suddenly the hand around her neck disappeared as quickly as the furious anger was replaced with understanding. Ignoring the bite of the cold air, Futaba greedily filled her lungs while waiting for him to either finish his job on her, or actually consider her hint.
"Ka–"
Suddenly the woman in front Sarutobi Hiruzen pressed her eyes shut as a new wave of pain cursed through her body. It emanated from her writhing form as she helplessly doubled over — her hands still strapped to the armrests prevented her from falling to the ground The medic stationed behind her searched the Sandaime's face before carefully approaching the trembling form of the woman.
Even from his seat Hiruzen had noticed the dark spot blossoming on the shoulder of the incarnate guardian spirit.
"NO!"
Suddenly she threw her head back, causing the ANBU behind the Hokage to take a precautionary step forward. Everyone relaxed, however, when they realized that it was only the touch of the medic that had alarmed her.
"I am sorry, but it's not safe" she croaked as if embarrassed to have raised her voice in front of them. Slightly out of breath and disorientated she returned her feverish gaze to the Sarutobi behind the desk. "I've never sworn to secrecy but apparently he wanted to make sure that this doesn't leave me with too many options. Please excuse my outburst."
Hiruzen only made a quick gesture to dismiss her worried frown and instead asked, "How much more will you be able to disclose?"
She calmed her breathing before finally glancing at her shoulder from of the corner of her bright green eyes. "It's been itching for some time. If I'll avoid mentioning any more explicit details, I should be able to finish before… – Well, shall I continue now, Hokage-sama?"
The Sandaime only found it in himself to nod. No matter how much he would have liked to ensure that this seal on her wouldn't kill her once she finished.
For a second his anger slipped through his control and Futaba paled considerably at the sheer power of it. Not wanting to show him her weakness, she rose to her feet with one hand buried in the bark. She felt like a raw piece of meat staggering on two carbonized matchsticks. It was hilarious that she had believed for even one second that this could be an actual alternative to running. Just dropping dead seemed like a more peaceful ending.
"You may wonder why I admitted to having manipulated you, when you finally confronted me about it" Futaba finally rasped when she sensed his patience wearing off. "If you ever considered me trustworthy, please think about the options you left me with! I knew that you started doubting me and my loyalties, but I couldn't figure out what exactly had started this. It was only when you had already left me to rot down there… that I understood that it was neither me nor you. We've both been expertly played."
Orochimaru had squinted down at her during her little speech, but now he decided to point out, "I will not be the instrument for your petty revenge, Futaba-chan. I do see your point, but why did you actually have to prove him right by trying to control my emotions with your little tricks?"
"When you confronted me, I had two options. Either I would deny everything and wait for you to find another reason to get rid of me, possibly risking my death at some point – or I'd just admit it, be punished and… survive."
When Futaba slowly turned to meet the slightly intrigued stare of her former master, she understood that he had underestimated her. And while she was no longer in need of his approval, it was still strangely uplifting to having surprised the legendary Snake Sannin.
"Tell me one last thing" he requested without the malice from mere seconds ago. "Who informed Jiraiya? It was just too convenient that he appeared and helped you escape – I pay great attention not to lead him to the most important bases and only let him snoop around the abandoned sites… "
Futaba sensed that their conversation was soon to be terminated and despite her injuries, she couldn't help checking for her means of escape. It was hopeless, of course, but she kept remembering what the White Sage Snake had predicted and so she chose to ignore his question in favor of staking everything on one card.
"Before you locked me away, I didn't fear you" she said and noticed that her words may have sounded like false bravado, so she hurriedly wet her lips. "I had just survived my father's attempts to kill me one way or another, and in helping me you gained my loyalty. You earned it by opening a whole new world of possibilities to me and aligning me with Fuu, regardless of your motives back then. I respected you and I probably always will hold some form of this. You are a person with a mad thirst… But you went too far when you tried to gain full control over my emotions" Futaba observed, knowing that she was right when something flickered in his annoyed gaze. "You shouldn't have messed with something you have always belittled, especially when not fully understanding it."
"Answer my question."
Taking a shuddering breath, Futaba decided to address her point directly, "When the White Snake Sage told you that you would be the one to end me one day, what was your first reaction?"
The wind, carrying mist from the depth of the gorge cooled Futaba's neck and mixed with the drying blood and dirt on her skin. But she refused to avert his gaze from across the clearing; even when her knees started shaking.
"You did betray me. So I was right to doubt you." He was very calm about it, maybe even a little detached. "… Maybe I should have listened to the Sage and just killed you then?"
"Maybe?" Futaba conceded. "But regardless of the ifs… think about it. While we have both been played, it has been that day, the one you asked me to accompany you to the Ryuchi Cave, that you started doubting me and my loyalty. And to be honest… the thought that you revalued my worth each and every day based on some soothsayer's words wasn't exactly beneficial to our agreement. It hurt –" her voice actually broke a little when she fought the bitter smile "– and I now I realize that even without any interference, it was only a question of time before you'd get rid of me. It just makes me wish that I'd realized this earlier…"
Orochimaru regarded her still and his refusal to comment on her summary of their acquaintance was neither a bad sign nor did it raise any hopes. But she knew for a fact that after this silence, he would make a decision.
It was a quick movement in the end, and without even thinking, Futaba raised her hand to catch the small pouch. After a short moment of hesitation, she opened the clasp to reveal some small pills.
"They're poisonous" Futaba observed once she had taken a wary sniff – never taking her eyes off the Snake Summoner. She recognized the peculiar, slightly fruity smell of the flower which she herself had often gathered for Orochimaru.
'Whatever you do… don't you dare even trust him for a second. Do you hear me?'
The pale skin on his face stretched above the muscles as they moved beneath – apparently he had decided to seize control of his facial expressions. Finally he said, "You will need them."
It was the way he chose his words, she realized. Covering it with his unique way of mocking her — like it was a challenge he particularly enjoyed. He wanted her to find the deeper meaning; the message he knew she'd be able to decipher. And there had been a time, not even that long ago, when Futaba had been the only one amongst his people with something akin to intuition when it came to his moods. She had been so ridiculously proud back then.
But some things had changed and Futaba couldn't help but wonder why he would provoke this notion in her. It wasn't however until she picked up on the implication behind his words that the bile rising in her throat finally ebbed away.
Her head snapped towards the darkness of the gorge before she had even had gathered her thoughts.
"You really expect me to take poison if it would be so much simpler to just jump down there?"
They both knew of course that she was only stalling, since she'd rather fight than embrace said possibility.
Orochimaru actually looked bemused at her suggestion before waving a finger at her incredulous face. "Prophecy promised that I'd be the one to end you."
Slowly stepping closer he added, "You thought that by breaking free from something that had given you a sense of belonging, it would actually free you. The funny thing about your freedom is that it was never truly yours to begin with. You were running without a direction and I only allowed you to do so because I knew that we'd meet again sooner or later."
A breeze swept through the grass around her and covered Orochimaru's indulgent smirk with strands of his hair. His hand had already formed the necessary seals and again Futaba realized his intentions too late.
"It's just that I simply overlooked it" he sighed as if this had been so obvious from the very beginning. "So tell me Futaba-chan… will you choose to survive under my conditions or shall we see if we can accomplish this little… prophecy?"
"… and then I jumped" the woman rasped as she finally forced her body to straighten. There was blood dripping from her nose and her eyes conveyed the depth of said fall.
Still, the Hokage could sense that between Orochimaru's offer and her jump something else had happened – something Futaba couldn't admit. It was only a hunch but Hiruzen was pretty sure that whatever the conditions of her survival entailed, she had accepted them.
But knowing that she would likely black out when presented with any question concerning his doubts, the old Sarutobi chose to take a different approach.
"What was the derisive factor for you to make such a rash decision? I understand that he placed that seal on you before you decided to do the exact opposite of what he expected you to do. Why didn't you… accept? Considering that he threatened your life I'd say it's a miracle that you survived" Hiruzen prompted her without sounding one bit judgmental. He leant forward as the medic carefully dabbed at the nose of Orochimaru's former assistant. She appreciated this gesture with a weak twitch of her lips. "What was the last thing he said to you?"
For a long moment Futaba remained silent, only moving to force air in and out of her lungs. Her body tensed now and then which in return caused the straps tying her to the chair to make small creaking noises.
When she finally opened her mouth with an expression consisted of both pain and a small bitter smile, "He made empty promises. He–"
But instead of learning what Orochimaru had said to specifically make her jump blindly down into that gorge, to face the likeliness of death, Futaba started shaking. She once again raised her head, almost pleading with the man on the other side of the desk before her pale skin darkened. Lines, first of a pale grey, soon pressed their black ugliness against their prison and the Hokage reacted immediately.
It was however only shortly after this that Fuu's guardian spirit started coughing up blood.
She lost consciousness soon after for the first time that evening.
It had been quite some time since Futaba had allowed someone to witness her transformation. There was little that made her feel as weak and exposed as loosing herself in front of others. And the anger she felt for the Snake Sannin did nothing to make this more tolerable.
Knowing that it was pointless, Futaba still continued to fight the white haze invading her mind.
It was the fact that she now knew that everything – her running and ending up in Konoha – was part of Orochimaru's scheme and that that he only had sealed the memories in her, to awake them when it best suited his cause.
Feeling the first cramps and ripples in her muscles, she involuntarily curled to a ball.
It must have been somewhere between her short struggle against him and the moment when she had finally stumbled across the edge that she discovered his true intentions.
The proof was the bite mark on her neck, the seal which now ate at her sanity. The pills had been his insurance that she would reach Konoha before her father's people had the chance to catch up with her.
'Don't we both know that this is not forever? You will grow weak again and seek me out since I am the only one who can help you kill your father and when the time comes, you better offer me something in return. But first enjoy your ignorant bliss, it should end soon enough and maybe then you'll be ready for what I have in store. I look forward to the day you'll remember everything and it'll ruin you all over again…'
A tear slipped from Futaba's eye.
She feared not knowing what terrible crimes she had committed in his name. The thought of forgetting only to remember it all over again proved to be the cruelest payback she could think of.
Part of her wanted to scream at them, the Hokage and everybody else, that they should cast her out of the village. That it might be alright, after all, to just allow her father to erase her completely.
But it was the same fierce desperation from back then, when she had refused Orochimaru to just end her, that kept her mouth firmly shut. Because after everything that had happened to her – after the anger, the fear… yes, even the shameful moments of weakness – Futaba wanted to survive.
Regardless of what would happen and how much more troubles lay ahead of her. So she stopped her futile fighting and felt how she was tossed into the angry waves of her subconsciousness.
The last thing on her mind was the feeling of his cold hands on her body – healing the deeper wounds while the fresh seal on her body still refused her any movement.
To jump had been her last attempt to break free from the hold he had over her fate. And he had let her, though his voice calling after her, still haunted her.
'Until next time, my little pet.'
Ever since I started this story I've had this chapter mapped out. It may have even been one of the reasons why I actually started writing the first chapter. And it's probably this perfect idea of how it should be that caused the long hiatus (aside from everyday life). So, if you'd tell me your thoughts in a review I'd be happy and most grateful!
Also, I decided that I would answer to any review by message now, since I don't know how often I can update from now on and you would have to wait otherwise for quite some time! I appreciate feedback of any kind, also if you have any question don't hesitate to message me :)
Hope to hear from you!