Chapter 6 – Piping Investor
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"Wow, you are really good at that!", Jared said as I was swinging the bat after the last hit.
"I used to have this Indian neighbor when I was young, taught me how to play cricket. I guess the principles carry over. And that guy is tossing me baby balls, that anyone could hit in their sleep.
Here come try." I said backing away from the base and offering the bat to Jared.
"No thank-you." He said shaking his head.
"Oh come on. I have been at this for 20 minutes. I am hungry and thirsty now. Someone take over." I said offering the bat to the onlooking crowd. There were no takers. Finally getting annoyed I just threw the bat on the ground and went to get myself a drink. Fucking pussies.
"Welcome to the annual Stern Taylor Fall classic. I would like to start by making a toast to our very special guest tonight, Richard Hendricks. Richard with your perfect game at tech-crunch disrupt a few weeks ago, we fell in love with you and your tech. Look we know everyone in the valley is after you and we know that you are probably going to go with Peter Gregory but we would love to have you come play on our team. Let us be your Series A financing. Cause together we would be a home run. So what do you say.", he put me on a giant fucking screen asking me that. Talk about putting people on the spot. "I will see what I can do.", I said with a smile and a raised glass, enough to satisfy the wolves for now.
"You know what Erlich, its feels great having all these firms suck up to us even though we are going to go with Peter and Raviga.", I told my friend standing next to me. It had been 4 weeks since Tech-Crunch and 4 weeks since we won Tech-Crunch. This was the honeymoon phase. I had stopped counting after 200 gifts, that now filled the garage, sent by one of these VC's just to get a piece of the Pied Piper Pie. It had also been 4 weeks since Monica and I had officially become girlfriend and boyfriend and were happily going steady. Though I still stayed with Erlich at the incubator, I spent at least 2-3 nights a week with Monica at her place. I was pretty sure I was getting more serious than I should with this relationship, as I didn't even know whether we would be able to weather the storm that was coming for us in the next few years.
So I will pay the relationship by the ear and for the rest, I will try to follow the plan as much as possible.
"Till they officially give us the term sheet, its open season. So enjoy it, my friend.", Erlich told me as he moved away probably to pitch one of his ideas from the incubator to all the VC floating around here.
Then I had the same conversation with Javeed from goolybib that cannon Richard had with a slight alteration, as we later went for a drink to a bar.
A storm was approaching and I had to be ready. Because I knew, come tomorrow, Peter Gregory won't be alive.
XxxxxX
"Do you mind if we ask, how did he die?", I asked the visibly heartbroken Monica. Peter must really have been a good mentor if he meant so much to her, that she was practically falling apart.
Then she gave us the long-winded explanation of how he died, through a comedy of errors, by a heart attack. The look on Erlich and my face was priceless.
As we were leaving, Erlich took out her phone and called Jared, "Jared, its Erlich, I need you to set up all the other VC meetings, ASAP. Line 'em up. Nuts to butts." I said nothing as I kept walking with him. By this point, against my better judgment, I had offered, to promote Erlich to the board. Thought that would not be immediately, but in the near future and it would depend on multiple criteria and conditions.
Mainly though, Erlich's place on the board would hinge on how useful he could prove to the company in the next year.
He wasn't the only one I had been considering when it came to a board seat. Where Erlich was a wild card, I had Jared's full loyalty and he had my full trust. So I had just gone ahead and had LaFlamme mail document signed by me promoting Jared to the Board, Which thankfully Peter had signed as well before he died. He would be my man on the board through and through. I had taken the whole gang to dinner last week where I had announced that Jared was our new board member. It was very embarrassing when we were asked to leave due to the uncontrollable loud crying of one member of our party.
We were all embarrassed to the roots but as soon as we left the restaurant we were laughing our asses off. We still celebrated Jared's promotion but did it at home with Chinese take out, lots of beer, 4 walls, and music that would muffle Jareds crying.
As soon as Erlich shut the phone he turned to me. "I know what you are going to say, Richard. Monica said Raviga is still going to fund us and we should sit tight, but understand this, there is something called Key-man-clause that all these VC's have. Once the key-man of the VC quits, is fired or dies, the investors have the option to pull their money out and overnight the VC evaporates. Look, I loved Peter Gregory more than even he loved me. But even if he were here, he would say the same thing as me….", Erlich said as I interrupted. "This is a business and we have a company to run", I completed his thought. "Exactly!", he said being shocked for a second.
"If you want to run a company you need to be an asshole. You taught me that.", I said looking at Erlich. He responded with a smile like a proud parent. "Good. So I am setting up the VC meetings.", I just nodded my head in acknowledgment as we sat in the car.
XxxxxX
" …. In time for CES and compress Nucleus out of the market.", I said finishing my pitch to the Stern-Taylor partner.
The response from the partners was unenthusiastic. I knew the reason for this of course. They were playing with us. "Umm… Yeah... Okay … I don't know.", one of the partners said.
"You don't what?", I asked standing next to the presentation monitor with an awkward smile on my face that went well with vulnerable old Richard.
"It doesn't seem worked out to me.", the same partner said.
Aa there it was.
Now it was time to break cover. The impish smile vanished from my face replaced by a cold calculating neutral look. I have that look to Erlich, tagging him in to speak. "Well, I mean it was worked out enough for Ted-Crunch Disrupt.", Erlich said taking over the focus of the partners.
"Yes and congratulations. You won 50 grand but you are asking us for 200 times that. Richard we all know about your amazing compression rate, but let's not be naïve here. You can't expect us to throw money at an algorithm and beat one of the largest tech companies in the world. So why don't you rework this a little and come back with a little more? Next week sound good? ", now the partner said looking at me.
I gave him the cold smile, that I have loved giving recently, which Dinesh are apparently dubbed the Predator Smile. I waked to the chair between Jared, who was a part of this meeting as a board member and Erlich who was part of the meeting as 10% owner of pied piper and potential board member. There was nice looking Granola Bar in the tray on the board table which I promptly took as I sat down and slowly started tearing the wrapping away. Excruciating slowly. I didn't say anything for 60 seconds as I was doing this and then just as I felt someone was about to interrupt my method acting I spoke, "You know right now Pied Piper is akin to a 6-foot dick coved in glitter and LSD. Dicks that ever VC in town wants to give a long sloppy lick.", I said taking a bite of the granola bar. Not yet looking at any of the partners sitting in front of me, giving my full concentration to the granola bar in my hand. "What makes you think we will even be in the market by next week? We don't need you. You need us.
So you can be a prude and keep your chastity belt on that doesn't want to throw money at an algorithm. That is perfectly fine. We can just go around town and find out how much other VC's are willing to put out, seeing our GIGANTIC DICK. Thank you for your time gentlemen.", I said this time, for the first time, looking at all the partners sitting opposite us, since I began my monologue. I gave the polite yet still predatory smile to all of them, especially the partner who had taken the lead during the meeting, Neg-ing us, while I licked the rest of the half-eaten Granola bar and put it on their very expensive table. Then got up and walked away.
I had almost reached the car by the time Jared and Erlich reached me. "Richard what was that?", Jared asked horrified. "I will tell you, what that was! That was awesome. I thought I was good at comebacks but the student has now surpassed the master." Erlich said bowing to me to the waist.
I smiled a little at Erlich's over the top adulation. But then got to the point, turning and leaning on the car facing them and looking them in the eyes with my arms folded. "Do both of you realized what was happening in there?", I asked looking at my current and future board members. "Aa…You tearing them a new asshole!", Erlich immediately responded. Jared, however, took his time before answering. But even he couldn't figure out the answer. Then I felt my phone vibrate in my pants. I took it out and found the mail I was expecting.
"Just read this and tell me if you get it.", I handed my phone to Jared so he could read the email from LaFlamme. "We just got offered 5 million at a 25 million post-money evaluation.", Jared read the email out loud for all 3 of us to hear. "They were negging us?!", Jared said in shock. "Holy shit. But it kind of makes sense. Everybody wants us but by shitting all over us they can bring our price down. But you shitting all over them, counteracted them shitting all over us. You neged a neg. Richard, it was brilliant. How did you know?", Erlich said giving his theory.
"That guy was all over me at AT&T park, like an ant over a donut. His sudden shift didn't make sense until I connected the dots and reacted accordingly.", I gave them my reasoning with a shrug.
"That was brilliant Richard. The CEO's role suits you. Jared where are we going next?", Erlich exclaimed at me and then asked Jared.
"Ross Loma Capital.", Jared replied.
"Good. Now I will handle this. You leave it to me, Richard. If they wanted to negotiate this, with hostility and rudeness, then they picked the wrong guy.", Erlich said already making a plan in his mind about what insults to hurl in the next meeting.
"Oh, I am leaving it to you. I am leaving it with both of you. I am not coming. You both are going for all the next meetings alone.", I said shocking them both.
"Richard we need you there.", Jared began to say but I stopped him by showing the palm of my hand.
"This is a test for both of you. You need to prove that you are worthy of the board seat I gave you and you need to prove you are worth a seat. Go to those meetings and get me offers. Do not discuss any specs. Jared, you know the business plan back and forth. You will give the presentation. Erlich, If Jared is the feather quill then you are the hammer. Make sure no one can bully Jared. And I know what you are thinking, I just used neging to get us the offer, you can do it better than me.
I already know you have the capacity to break a grown man down into tears." I said looking at Erlich which he interrupted with a "Thanks", but I continued, "But you need to keep something in mind when you decide what kind and level of asshole do you want to act at the next meetings. Because I have full confidence in you, that you will get me better offers, but we will be able to accept just 1 offer in the end. And by the end, if you are not careful you will have made yourself and probably Pied Piper their sworn enemy. What would happen in the future, when another one of your incubator ideas show promise after pied piper and you try to get meetings with VC's you will have ruthlessly insulted today. Just some food for thought.
Now get in the car, drop me off at the house and then go get me better term sheets!", I said getting in the car.
Neither Erlich nor Jared moved for a few minutes as I sat in the car and started working on my phone with headphones on.
XxxxxX
"I think I made the best decision of my life quitting hooli and crashing the launch party at your house that day.", Jared said looking at Erlich still standing outside of the car.
"I think I made the best decision in my life when I started incubator which led to Richard and his stupid music recognition app falling in my lap. And that he was so gullible at the start that I got him to give me 10%, I don't think I could get him to hand me toilet paper now.", Erlich said and then promptly started laughing. "Oh, this little mother fucker is going to make me a billionaire someday. Come on, let's get our CEO offers that would make him cream his pants." He said getting in the car.
XxxxxX
"How did it go?" Dinesh asked as Jared and Erlich entered the house. They didn't respond for a second and then there was spontaneous high five between both of them, then Erlich very enthusiastically took out his phone and readout, "just got an offer from Midland Okas, 15 million at 75 million dollar evaluation.
Everyone jumped and started cheering except for me. I sat there calmly sitting at my work station looking at the code on my laptop. "Richard isn't this amazing?", Dinesh asked trying to get my attention. I looked up from my laptop, to find the expecting faces of Jared and Erlich. They were standing there waiting for me to acknowledge their efforts. They had come to respect me, something they none of the people in this house except for Jared had for cannon Richard in the TV show.
"Well done.", I said with a smile. I didn't even have to ask how offensive they were, Jared volunteered the information himself. Erlich like my Granola bar routine so much that he bought a box of it on the way to the next meeting after dropping me off here. They mostly stuck to that and in some cases where they had to escalate, the said things about the office, culture and dressing style that was easily forgivable in the long run.
Just as Jared finished explaining, there was a knock on the door and Monica came in.
"Hey guys, This is Laurie Bream. She is the new managing partner at Raviga.", Monica said coming inside with another significantly older woman.
She looked around the room for me and found me sitting in my chair on my work station ignoring her and looking at my laptop.
From the reflection on the glass of the phone, I could see she had spotted me and was coming towards me. "You are Richard Hendricks. I recognize you from your photographs. It's very nice to meet you in person." She said standing next to my chair and extending her hand to me. I slowly looked up from my laptop to her, purposefully giving her and her hand a scrutinizing gaze, that would be considered the height of rudeness. But then before she backtracked I extend my own hand to shake hers. "Nice to meet you, Miss Bream. Please have a seat.", I say politely pointing with my hand to the office chair behind her. She takes a seat but does so reluctantly.
"Okay, so we did that." She said mentioning the handshake and completely avoids eye contact. "Gentlemen I aware of the degree of interest you are receiving from the other firms. I am aware that participation in your series A, will require a very competitive offer. But for numerous reasons, I believe it to be a prudent decision to present you with this." She said trying to hand a term sheet to me.
I didn't take the paper. I just looked at Jared, who was standing a little behind Laurie and he understood what I wanted and took the paper from Laurie. "20 million at 100 million dollar evaluation?", he read out loud to the shock of everyone in the room except for me and Laurie.
"This is way more than any other offer." Jared continued looking astonished at squiggles of black lines on the paper in his hand.
"Correct. That is very much intentional. So, I believe that satisfies your requirements?", Laurie said looking to get up and leave as fast as she could.
Jared, Dinesh, and Erlich were just about ready to pop Champaign but one word from dropped the noise in the room to absolute zero. "No"
"What do you mean no?", Laurie asked confused.
"See Laurie, I don't know you. I like to research every person I work with, and when I found out everything I could about your work and decisions at Raviga. Well let's say, it left me wanting. You see, you are a very analytical person, but also a very safe player that hedged her bets. That's good from a business standpoint sometimes I suppose, but it can lead to a disaster when it comes to relationships.
But the good news for you is I liked Peter Gregory. Without him, I wouldn't be here today. I also like Monica very much, she was the one that convinced me not to play safe and go for what I wanted instead of selling my company before it was even born to Gavin Belson for 10 million dollars.
Now if this is going to work this is how it will work.", I said opening my drawer under the table and pulling out a bunch of clipped documents. "This piece of paper here says that we will be increasing two seats on the board. One for Raviga and another for Pied Piper. This document over here says that I can name anyone for the Pied Piper seat in the term of next one year before the seat expires if I haven't named anyone. This document over here says that one board seat of Raviga will be given to Monica over there. This document over here says, no member of the board, whether from Pied Piper or Raviga can be dismissed or replaced from the board without a majority vote from the rest of the board members.
Now I will work WITH Raviga, if you sign those documents tonight and send them to my lawyer. I don't need you to give us the money immediately, I will have to have my lawyer look it over and discuss it with my colleagues here, but none of that will happen if those papers aren't signed and mailed tonight to my lawyer.", everyone in room was looking in awe at me.
"If there is anything else?", I asked Laurie in a clearly dismissive tone, going back to working on my laptop.
"No, Mr. Hendricks. I will look these over and if everything is in order, I will sign them and send them to your lawyer. Your terms are acceptable. I will have Monica arrange a time for the signing of term sheets." She said moving out from the house as quickly as humanly possible.
"Oh shit. She is my ride, I will call you tomorrow Richard. Laurie wait!", Monica said running out.
Everyone else in the room started clapping. "To Richard, and the biggest pair of balls I have ever seen!", That was Gilfoyle. Then everyone started cheering. That did bring out the smile I was trying to control for so long, "Oh, that was exhausting!" I said returning to my normal mode.
XxxxxX
As Monica was trying to peak through the bathroom windows, I sneakily went up behind her, and suddenly whispered in her ear, "I didn't know your nickname was Peeping Tom". Before she could scream in shock my left hand was already on her mouth and my right hand had locked both her hands so she couldn't move.
She soon realized it was me, and mumbled Richard exasperatedly through the hand that was still on the mouth, after she tried and failed to kick me in the foot for scaring her. "You know this gives me a lot of ideas about the kinds of games we can play in the bedroom," I whispered in her ear, which sent pleasant sensation down her spine. As I withdrew my hands from her person, I made sure my right hand accidentally pinched one of her nipples on the way out. She squeaked very loudly at that but somehow got her voice under control halfway so as not to alert others in the house. Then she turned around and hit me three times with her very heavy bag.
That hurt.
"What's in there? Another bag of rocks?, I asked her messaging my arm where she hit.
"You scared the living daylights out of me.", she whispered angrily with a bit of blush mixed in.
"Umhmm. You were the one peeking through my bathroom. I think you the bigger culprit here. So what's up?", I asked leaning against the wall on the side of the house.
"What's up? What's up? What was that? And what's this story I have been hearing from all the VC's in town about a 6-foot dicks, granola bars, glitter and LSD.", She asked with genuine curiosity mixed with bafflement.
"Negotiation tactics. Will make excellent stories at out date tomorrow evening.", I told her.
"We have a date tomorrow evening?", she asked taking out her phone and checking her calendar.
"We do now. Let me make it official, want to go on a date tomorrow night after Peter's wake?", I asked her with my charming grin.
"You are impossible! Yes, I will go with you on a date. But what was that with Laurie today Richard?" At that, my face became serious again. "That was me securing my company's and our future. You now have indirect job security for the next 5 years. Your welcome.", Then it clicked to her what had I done and she promptly hugged me. She realized they couldn't fire her from Raviga until she was a part of the board. And they couldn't fire her from a board that is basically controlled by Richard with three seats, versus their two, one of which was hers. And she would never vote to fire herself. That meant that it would come down to 1 vs 4 if someone form Raviga ever tried to fire her.
"You know I was going to tell you that if anyone found out that I came back to meet you, I would be fired. But now I don't have that problem. Anyways I wanted to tell you, you should reject Lauries offer.", she told me. If she expected me to be shocked she was surprised.
"Because we valued half that, maybe. If we take less money, then we can set realistic targets, revenue-wise and achieve them and hence avoiding a down round which would have us fucked very badly. Would probably lead to the acquisition of pied piper. Did I miss anything?" I asked her, at her wide-eyed look.
"How...?", she asked in utter astonishment.
"Did Laurie sign the papers?", I asked her before answering.
"Yes, I mailed them to your lawyer myself before coming here.", she replied eager to get the answer.
"Do you know Goolibib?", I asked her to which she replied in the affirmative.
"Javeed used to be like a friend. I met him again at AT&T Park a few days ago, back during that VC party and we got talking. And as he told me his story, I realized he could have avoided all of what happened to him if he took less money in Series A.", I told her shrugging my shoulders. "He had a right-fit when I told him about my conclusion. Do you know what he said after he was done throwing tantrum? He said why did nobody ever tell him to take less money?" I said and then kissed Monica soundly till her Lips were swollen, "I am so happy that I have someone who can tell me things like that." I told her smiling, which she returned.
I will talk to Laurie tomorrow after Peter's memorial service. Sounds fine to you?", I asked her slinging an arm around her shoulder. She numbly nodded yes with a wicked smile on her face with those swollen lips.
"Now do you want to go to a bar and get a drink or got to your apartment?", I asked her.
"I think we should go to have a drink at my apartment. I think I will disclose our relationship to my office now, as they can't do jack shit about it.", she said giving me a kiss as I booked uber.
XxxxxX
"….I will miss my friend. Bye, Pete." Gavin Belson said from the stage Peter's memorial service.
"Maybe he is a human after all.", Monica said from beside me.
"I wouldn't bet on it." I said as I heard my mobile notification sound go off. I took out my phone, read the message, gave a resigned sigh and showed it to Monica. Upon looking at the initial content she snatched the phone away from my hand to read it properly.
"Gavin Belson is suing you!"
XxxxxX
AN: Apologies for the delay. Next Chapter will be posted now as an new years gift! Please let me know how did you find the chapter.