Denison, Texas

"This is beautiful", Sue Ellen admired the view as they walked along the lakeshore, her arm linked through his; she couldn't believe that they were actually here, away from Dallas and actually doing something romantic and enjoyable. "I'm glad you like it, that's why I chose the location", JR smiled and kept walking, content to not talk unless she wanted to, he was actually just enjoying the peace and quiet; it was a lot different to his regular life. Sue Ellen smiled at his words, it sounded like he had really thought about her when he made the decision, though his statement was really only half-true; JR had mostly chosen the lake house because it was close and available, and he had arranged it very last minute, though he couldn't deny that her happiness was important to him too. Sue Ellen leaned in closer to her husband, enjoying the moment, hoping that their happiness lasted and this was a sign of things to come. She felt bad for thinking it, but before this weekend, it felt like it had been months since they'd actually spent quality time together, though she knew that wasn't entirely true; they still went out to dinner and still spent weekends and evenings together, it was just that his mind was elsewhere a lot of the time. JR was a busy man, an important man, he had people depending on him for their livelihoods and he had a company that was dependent on a lot more than him just showing up each day. In addition to his regular office work, he also had the task of finding ways around uncontrollable setbacks and that wasn't an easy job at all, especially not now, not with the way the industry was. His life was consumed by a lot more than just his wife and Sue Ellen acknowledged and accepted that, but that didn't mean that she enjoyed it; she would do whatever it took to be a good wife, but she also wished that it was easier sometimes, more fun and less serious. JR knew that he probably didn't pay as much attention to her as he should, but he didn't see any way of changing it, or any particular reason to. He was who he was and he had responsibilities because of his life circumstances, she had known that when they were dating, and she had still wanted to marry him; he couldn't be expected to change his priorities just because they were married now. Of course he enjoyed being with his wife, but he also enjoyed doing other things and socialising with other people too, and he didn't need her in the same way that she needed him. Where Sue Ellen had the luxury of no real commitments and freedom to do whatever she wanted to with her time, he did not; because of that, JR had to stretch his free time across many different categories, and he deserved to be able to use his time however he wanted. If he wanted to go hunting with Bobby and Jock, then he was allowed to do that, he didn't have to ask her first, he was the decision maker in their relationship, and she always followed his directions. Because of the way their lives differed, she felt the distance between them more than he did; she got lonely when he wasn't around, because he was her whole life and everything she did was to please him. However, JR's priorities were split between work, personal and family life; he had less time, and more commitments than she did, and that didn't necessarily mean good things for their marriage. For now though, they were content and happy, and neither intended on doing anything to ruin the mood.

Their walk took them along the lakefront and into a wooded park area, allowing them to walk up a small cliff to a lookout. Sue Ellen shivered as the wind picked up and reminded her that they were still very much in winter; she had worn a light jacket, but being on a lake and in an exposed elevated area, the temperature was more suited for a heavier coat. JR noticed his wife shivering and quickly looked around to check that they were alone before standing behind her and wrapping his arms around her. Although he knew it was the right thing to do, he was still self-conscious about public displays of affection, as if somehow just touching his wife would make him less of a man, even if it was exactly what they both wanted. "I love you", Sue Ellen relaxed into his arms and they stood admiring the view, until they heard the sound of people nearing; at that point, JR awkwardly dropped his arms and mumbled something about heading back to the house. Sue Ellen wasn't sure whether to laugh or be offended at his actions; it was painfully obvious how uncomfortable JR was with being seen as any way emotional or affectionate, and she was very used to that by now, but she was also his wife, and he should have been proud to be with her, whatever the circumstance. Sue Ellen brushed it off as they turned around and walked back down to the lakefront, toward the house; she wasn't going to ruin their day by starting an argument, especially not a non-productive argument, JR was set in his ways and it was unlikely that anyone would get him to change, it was just who he was.

Returning to the house, JR built a fire while Sue Ellen made him a drink, he seemed like he needed one for some reason. JR wasn't sure what was wrong with him today, he felt quieter than usual and he was very much content to just be with Sue Ellen, they didn't have to be talking, they just had to be close to each other. He didn't know how to feel about his new mindset, he didn't usually dwell too much on his emotions, but it seemed that the more quiet he became, the louder his thoughts were. He did love Sue Ellen, and he did want to be a good husband, but he also wanted to have everything else, and it seemed like he could never figure out exactly how to have both. He loved that Sue Ellen was unconditionally supportive of him, especially in business, it was exactly what he needed from her, but he also sensed that in acting that way, she was hiding her true feelings about things, that she said things she didn't mean just because they were what he wanted or needed to hear. He didn't often think about other people's feelings, but he did care about Sue Ellen, and he didn't want her to make herself miserable in pursuit of his happiness. He was the vice president of Ewing Oil, and with that came a great deal of responsibility, things that he couldn't and wouldn't ignore, things that took up a lot of time and attention and were often unsatisfying for long periods of time before they were successful. He couldn't afford to slack at work, so he put all of his time and energy into making Ewing Oil a success, but in doing that, he unintentionally pushed Sue Ellen away; at times almost ignoring their relationship and only using her as a sounding board and stress release. It wasn't good for either of them for him to act that way, but he didn't know how to change it; he needed her to be there and do those things for him, but he didn't want her to be miserable doing it. He wanted her to be happy and to be the one to make her happy, but it was a lot more difficult than he ever could have imagined. "JR?" Sue Ellen handed him his drink and sat down on the couch next to him; JR pushed the conflicting thoughts out of his mind, there wasn't a lot he could do about the excessive demands in his life, and right now he didn't have to focus on any of those demands. They were alone, just the two of them, away from Dallas, Southfork and Ewing Oil, if he really wanted to improve their marriage, then now was the perfect time to start.

To be continued…