Dallas, Texas

"Sue Ellen?" Miss Ellie decided that it was now or never, they had discussed a wide range of general topics and Sue Ellen's glass of iced tea was almost empty; if she didn't question her about her problems now, then Sue Ellen would leave the table and the conversation, closing the opportunity for discussion until another day.

Sue Ellen distractedly ran her finger around the rim of her glass and looked up at her mother-in-law as she spoke, her tone sounded different to the rest of their conversation and Sue Ellen's stomach dropped, she suddenly felt anxious and uncomfortable, though she wasn't entirely sure why, Miss Ellie hadn't even said anything yet.

"Sue Ellen, please forgive me if this seems out of line and know that you don't have to answer anything you don't want to", she looked at Sue Ellen as she spoke, making eye contact and continuing, "I'm concerned about you. You seem very distracted lately and I can't help but worry that that distraction is something bigger than just being preoccupied with thoughts. Is everything all right?" she didn't break eye contact as she finished speaking, wanting to make sure that Sue Ellen understood that she was asking out of concern, not nosiness.

Sue Ellen panicked, this was exactly what she didn't want, she would hate for the Ewing family to think that she didn't appreciate or enjoy her life as a Ewing, because she did, she just wished that her life had a little more substance, that was all. However, she wasn't sure how to explain that without seeming like she was ungrateful or dissatisfied; saying that she was bored, lonely or sad was a recipe for disaster, at least that's how she saw it.

"Oh? I'm not sure what you're talking about; really Miss Ellie, I'm fine", she didn't really know why, but her first response was to defend herself and deny that there was a problem, though she knew that if Miss Ellie was asking her if she was ok, then it was clear that she did in fact have a problem.

Miss Ellie sighed, it wasn't going to be as easy as she had hoped, if Sue Ellen didn't want to admit that there was even an issue, then there was no way she was going to open up to actually discuss what the specific problems were.

In an act of subtle coercion, Miss Ellie refilled Sue Ellen's glass of iced tea before refilling her own; Sue Ellen was now trapped into the conversation for a little longer by her need to demonstrate proper social practice and remain polite.

Miss Ellie softened her expression, hoping that Sue Ellen would let her guard down just a little, "Sue Ellen, I'm not trying to hurt you or punish you, I'm really just concerned about your wellbeing. Lately, you don't seem to have been acting like your usual self; you seem quiet and distant", she didn't think adding the word sad would help the situation, though she did think it, "I just wanted you to know that I'm here if you do want to talk. I love you as if you were my own daughter and I just want to see you happy", she took hold of her hand and squeezed it before letting go and waiting for Sue Ellen to respond, or not respond, she wasn't really sure how she would react.

Sue Ellen felt as if she were about to cry when Miss Ellie expressed her love for her, she couldn't remember one time where her own mother had said those words and it saddened her that she was hurting Miss Ellie with her moods. She felt guilty as she processed Miss Ellie's words, she had never intended for Miss Ellie to worry about her, she never wanted to burden anyone with her issues, least of all her mother-in-law and she felt awful that they were having this conversation; she obviously wasn't as good at hiding her true feelings as she had thought.

Miss Ellie looked at Sue Ellen with a kind face, Sue Ellen's large brown eyes were watering and her upper lip was quivering as she attempted to hold her emotions together and present a neutral façade; it seemed to her that they may be getting somewhere now, but it appeared that Sue Ellen was fighting it.

Sue Ellen looked at Miss Ellie's expression, she seemed to really care, but she couldn't tell her the depths of her issues, she wasn't ready for that yet, she couldn't even properly express her feelings to JR, and he was supposed to be the person closest to her; "oh Miss Ellie, I'm sorry if I worried you. It's really nothing terrible, I suppose I've just had a hard time adjusting back into my life since Mary and Lucy went back to school; I've just been missing the companionship a little. Truly, that's all it is, I'll be fine once I find something else to occupy my time", she gave a small explanation that was somewhat truthful, though she lied about how deep her issues truly ran. Her loneliness was due to so many more things than the one example she had given, but she really didn't want to explain her emotional issues or her marital problems to her mother-in-law, she was just too close to it all and she didn't feel that it was good for her to know her true feelings about everything.

"You grew attached", Miss Ellie made an observational comment, "I remember when Gary started school, I didn't know what to do with myself. Luckily, I still had Bobby to look after though, I don't really know what I would have done without another son to focus on", her comments didn't really help Sue Ellen, though she did notice the obvious lack of emotion related to JR, he really had been Jock's son to raise.

"So what did you do when Bobby started school?" Sue Ellen took an interest in the conversation mostly because it took the focus away from her problems.

"I threw myself into charity work. That's why I'm so highly ranked in the DOA now", she smiled at Sue Ellen, it was possible that the same solution could work for her, she was already heavily involved in DOA work and she seemed to enjoy it, so joining a few more committees could be just what she needed to fill her extra time.

The other solution was for Sue Ellen to have a baby of her own to focus on, someone that required her love and attention around the clock, she would never get bored with motherhood, it was full of challenges. However, becoming a mother wasn't quite as easy as being elected chair of a DOA committee, and although no one ever said anything, Miss Ellie assumed that there had to be a biological problem with either Sue Ellen or JR when it came to procreation. In her own marriage, children had come easily and plentifully, she and Jock had never had to deal with what she assumed was going on in JR and Sue Ellen's marriage; what she did know though was that Sue Ellen was extra sensitive about the subject of children, so she tried to avoid it where possible.

Sue Ellen smiled weakly, she loved being in the DOA, it gave her something meaningful to focus on and occupied her time nicely; however, she wanted more in her life than charity projects and tea with the ladies afterwards. The DOA was a perfect side activity, but she didn't want it to be the only thing that gave her life any purpose; Miss Ellie's story was nice, but it didn't really help her own situation.

Miss Ellie noticed as Sue Ellen's expression changed when she thought about the DOA, it was good for her, but she sensed that she didn't want to treat the DOA like a fulltime job, Sue Ellen wanted more, she just had to figure out what that more was, and Miss Ellie was determined to help her do just that.

To be continued…