Dallas, Texas

"You enjoyed that didn't you?" Miss Ellie noticed the way Sue Ellen's mood had improved since the previous day and decided to try to open the discussion again. They and a few of the other DOA ladies had spent the morning at SMU, giving a speech and then holding a meet and greet with both students and alumni to bring awareness to the good work that the DOA was involved in. It wasn't so much a membership drive as it was a fundraiser, they had to keep their audience wide if they wanted to receive donations to expand their philanthropic actions. SMU was a private college and that meant it was full of wealthy students and alumni, and with the increased social awareness that was present on college campuses, it seemed like the perfect place to promote their organization. Sue Ellen was surprised at just how good it felt to be on a college campus again, even if it was a much smaller school than UT Austin, she still felt the atmosphere that came with being on campus, something that she hadn't realised she missed. During the meet and greet, she had spoken to a number of sorority girls, some even recognized her as the former Miss Texas, others just as Mrs JR Ewing, though it made her feel special either way; she enjoyed when people gave her attention as if she were someone famous or important, it made her feel good about herself. After the meeting, she and Miss Ellie had gotten lost on the way back to the parking lot and ended up taking the scenic route around the campus before finding the correct direction to go in; she really enjoyed just being part of college life again, even if it was only as a guest speaker. "I did", she couldn't help but smile as she replied to Miss Ellie's observation and she didn't even mind giving her an explanation, "it reminded me of being a college girl again. High school was ok, but I loved college, I really did", she smiled to herself as she thought about how good it had felt to finally get away from her mother, even if it was only a few miles from home and she still saw her multiple times a week. College had been good for her, and getting a degree at the end of her four years was really just a bonus; nothing could have replaced the experiences she had had or the way she had felt there, she had really had a wonderful experience during her time as a student.

Miss Ellie watched Sue Ellen's face as they drove through Dallas and back towards Southfork, she didn't even seem bothered by the red traffic lights that they kept getting or the other drivers going slowly in front of her; she seemed wrapped up in her own thoughts again, except today, they were happy thoughts, not sad ones. It was a nice change to see her acting like this and it was insightful to hear Sue Ellen reflect on her time as a college student, though she worried that as soon as they arrived home and she realised that they weren't heading back to SMU any time soon, that she would revert back into her withdrawn mood again. Wanting to know more and seizing the opportunity, she spoke again, "tell me about it… your time in college I mean", she prompted Sue Ellen to explain what it was that she had enjoyed so much about college, any thoughts Sue Ellen had had to be somewhat insightful, she appeared to be happier than she had been in weeks. Dreamily, Sue Ellen replied, forgetting that she was speaking to her mother-in-law and just voicing her honest thoughts, "the four years I was in college were the best four years of my life. I was a very happy young lady; I was popular and had a lot of friends and a wonderful boyfriend, I was a cheerleader and sorority girl, I was a relatively successful model, I was Miss Austin and then Miss Texas, and then I met JR. Everything was just perfect". She smiled to herself as she reminisced about her college experience; as academically challenging and sometimes boring as those four years had been, and as happy as she was to leave the studying, exams, quizzes and essays behind after graduation, she knew in her heart that she would redo it in a second if she had the chance to. Miss Ellie listened intently as Sue Ellen spoke, she had only known her for a short period of time before she graduated college, but she remembered the way she had been back then. When JR had first introduced Sue Ellen to the family, she really was the bubbly, happy young lady that Sue Ellen had just described, she wasn't misremembering or nostalgizing history. Along the way, sometime in the four years that had passed since then, something had changed; the young lady sitting next to her right now was far from that same person that Sue Ellen had described; she just didn't know what had changed or when that change had happened. "It sounds lovely", Miss Ellie didn't really know what to say, she wanted Sue Ellen to keep talking and to open up to her, because it would certainly give her a better insight into what was going on in her mind. However, she knew she had to be delicate with how she approached the situation, otherwise, if she were too direct, she ran the risk of startling Sue Ellen out of her thoughts and having her emotional wall go up again. "It was", Sue Ellen was still somewhat in a dreamy state of mind, only slightly paying attention to the road as she drove, mostly lost in her thoughts.

"So what about after college?" Miss Ellie spoke in a soft tone, hoping that Sue Ellen didn't notice that she was directing the conversation to gather more information; "after I graduated, things were good for a while. I was still Miss Texas and I got a modelling contract with a magazine, JR even bought me an apartment so that I didn't have to drive back to my mother's house after my meetings. My life was good, then…" she smiled and then frowned as she got lost in her memories, her life had been good up until the Miss America contest, then everything had started to unravel. "Then?" she knew she was taking a chance by asking her to further explain, but Miss Ellie was genuinely interested now, their conversations over the past couple of days had been more open and insightful than any conversation they'd had with each other in months, if not years. She didn't want to waste the opportunity to get inside Sue Ellen's head, this was possibly the last open conversation they would have for a while; Sue Ellen was never this open and she assumed that today was an exception to the rule, not an amendment. "Then everything fell apart", her vision blurred with tears in her eyes as she remembered the events that followed in the months after her graduation, "first I lost the Miss America pageant, then my mother insisted I move back home with her, then JR asked me to stop modelling and I was let go from my magazine contract. That was when everything really started to go downhill…" she didn't really realise it, she was too far into her memories to really notice, but she was speaking everything she was thinking and Miss Ellie was listening intently. "Downhill?" Miss Ellie listened and was surprised by some of the things Sue Ellen was telling her, she knew that she had been upset about the Miss America loss and that she had stopped modelling a few months later, but she didn't realise that JR had had a hand in that decision, though she wasn't entirely surprised. She had always assumed that JR tolerated Sue Ellen's modelling career rather than supported it, he was a man that enjoyed the idea of being able to support his woman, no matter whether she was his wife or not. JR was also known for being in control of everything he was involved in, and she had no doubt that JR was somehow involved in Sue Ellen's modelling career, whether she knew it or not.

"Yes, you see, being a model gave me something to do with my time and it gave me great personal satisfaction when I got positive client feedback. During my late high school years and all throughout college, I was a model, and it was one of the consistent things in my life after graduation. I enjoyed the people I worked with and I know it sounds a bit strange, especially with the small amount that it was, but I enjoyed making my own money too. When I gave up modelling, I didn't really know what I was supposed to do and I didn't really know anyone anymore, so I just kind of drifted through life. I played tennis, joined a book club, went shopping, went running and walking around my neighbourhood, for exercise and for fun; and then, a few times a week JR would come down to Austin or I would fly up to Dallas and we'd go on a date. It was a big change from the way my life had been just a few months before; I had been so busy in college, I almost never had time where I was just alone, and then all of a sudden, I had no commitments, nothing that I absolutely had to do. It made it harder that everyone I had known in college or through my modelling agency, their lives were all so different to mine and I found it difficult to know where I fit in to everything. It was just a big change for me, one I suppose I didn't handle very well", she sighed to herself as she voiced her thoughts, finally admitting to herself that she hadn't been happy for quite a while. "So then Thanksgiving and Christmas came and went, and so did my life, everything just dragged and I really didn't know what I was supposed to be doing. I love JR, I really do, but sometimes I don't understand him", the tears that had been gathering in her eyes finally spilled over, running down her cheeks, "I thought that the engagement and marriage meant that I finally had everything I ever wanted, but…", she could no longer control her emotions, bowing her head as she began to cry. In an act of love and support, Miss Ellie reached across to touch Sue Ellen, though all it did was startle her, turning her head and looking up, she finally realised exactly what she'd just done, just as everything went black.

To be continued…