Dallas, Texas

"…you just have to try their smoked salmon, its heavenly", Miss Ellie stood and listened to the group of women chatting about the restaurants of Dallas as they mingled after the DOA meeting. Adding her own comments where necessary, but mostly just half-listening, she looked around the room, spotting Sue Ellen deep in a conversation with a few other ladies. She was pleased when she recognized the look on Sue Ellen's face, she looked happy, actually happy, not just fake happy; being in the DOA was good for her, it provided both social interaction and validation in her life. As she watched Sue Ellen, her thoughts wandered to the situation that she was sure was still an issue, because in her mind, there was no way that Sue Ellen had just gotten over all of her issues without actively working through them. With those thoughts came a new problem though, her own confliction and confusion; there never seemed to be a right time for the conversation that she believed they needed to have. There were times when Sue Ellen seemed sad, lonely and depressed, and she felt completely awful for her; but there were other times, like now, that she could barely recognize that Sue Ellen was the same woman, there wasn't a hint of unhappiness in the way she presented herself. It was confusing and she had mixed feelings about what the right course of action was; on one hand, if she had the conversation when Sue Ellen was down, then she risked magnifying whatever feelings Sue Ellen did have and worsening the effects they were having on her life. On the other hand, she didn't really want to ruin Sue Ellen's good mood and apparent current happiness by bringing her thoughts back to her problems. She felt an obligation as Sue Ellen's new mother figure to look after her and make sure that she knew she didn't have to suffer alone, however, every time she thought about doing it, it seemed that the timing, context or location was just totally inappropriate for the reality of the conversation. Sighing to herself, she turned her attention back to the conversation, she would talk to Sue Ellen eventually, she just had to find the right time to do it.

After the DOA meeting, the two women headed into Dallas to do a little shopping, each purchasing a new outfit for the barbecue. Looking at her watch, Sue Ellen realised that it was almost three in the afternoon and she was hungry; they had had light refreshments while they mingled after the DOA meeting and had then gone shopping, getting caught up in moving between stores, not realising the time. "How about we go for coffee?" Sue Ellen suggested, she was enjoying being out doing something and she didn't particularly want to race back to Southfork just because they were finished shopping. Truthfully, there was nothing urgent waiting for her at the ranch and it made her feel better when she had something to occupy her time. Lucy was often at her friends' houses after school now, JR wouldn't be home from work until after five, and the swimming pool, horses, books and magazines weren't going anywhere; she just didn't see the need to leave just yet. "Good idea", Miss Ellie commented and the two left the store they were in, walking a short distance down the street and entering a small café.

"…and then Shirley said that their marriage is just for show, that neither of them have been very faithful to their wedding vows or really want to be married to each other anymore, but they won't separate because they both have more to lose from a divorce than they have to gain. He's trapped in the marriage because technically her father owns the company he works for and he'd have to start in a much lower position with a different company if they divorced. Then, on her side, she won't leave him because being her father's only child, and a daughter at that, the inheritance she is set to gain when her father dies is dependent on her being married, with her husband running the company and their son joining the company when he graduates college, she'd jeopardize everything with a divorce. Therefore, despite their dissatisfaction and lax commitment, they both just pretend to be happily married, because it's better than losing everything; but underneath all of that, they're almost strangers, and apparently neither of them really cares what the other one thinks. Can you believe that?" Sue Ellen recounted the story with glee as she and Miss Ellie finished their coffee, she liked to think that she was a nice person who just enjoyed a little bit of harmless gossip, however, from Miss Ellie's facial expression, it didn't appear that she felt the same way. "Sue Ellen!" Miss Ellie scolded, "you shouldn't speak like that; I'm sure it's hard enough for Marie to have problems in her marriage without having to listen to other people gossiping about it. It sounds to me like Shirley had been told these things in confidence, and I'm disappointed in both of you for further spreading them around. Think about how you would feel if I told everyone about the problems you and JR have; you wouldn't like it very much would you?" Sue Ellen was surprised and embarrassed, she'd only ever felt the motherly side of Miss Ellie in a kind, caring way, but right now she felt like a teenager being reprimanded and she didn't like it very much. "I… I'm sorry Miss Ellie, I didn't think of it like that", she looked down at the table and thought about what Miss Ellie had said, suddenly feeling defensive and needing to have the final word, she added in a whisper, "however, JR and I don't have any problems, our marriage is perfect".

Miss Ellie didn't know what to say, she didn't enjoy Sue Ellen's backchat or attitude, but in a way, she almost felt sorry for her; she wasn't sure whether Sue Ellen tried hard to make her marriage appear perfect, or whether she truly believed that it was, but either way, her words had been false. "No marriage is perfect Sue Ellen, least of all yours; you'd do well to remember that", she spoke in a vaguely warning tone and Sue Ellen was stunned, she didn't know how the conversation had turned so serious all of a sudden, in her mind, they had just been casually chatting, and now her marriage was being called into question. "I know that Miss Ellie, however, JR and I are very happy together and there probably wouldn't be very much for people to gossip about; that's all I meant by my comment", she smiled, though she didn't feel entirely happy. She wasn't sure whether the feeling in the pit of her stomach had to do with her upset about Miss Ellie's accusations, or whether it was because, deep down, she knew that her comments held a lot of truth. Miss Ellie sighed, frustrated by Sue Ellen's denial; she hadn't planned on having this conversation right now, but it looked as if now was the time anyway, "really? Is that how you honestly feel? Because I have to say, it didn't sound as if your marriage was entirely happy a few weeks ago when you burst into tears on the way home from a DOA meeting, getting so emotional that you turned your attention away from the road and caused an accident". Sue Ellen cast her eyes down at the table as Miss Ellie spoke, she wasn't really saying anything that she didn't already know, but that didn't make her words any less painful, "I…" She didn't really have a defence for herself, she and JR did have a few problems in the past, but as of right now, they were in a reasonably good place, and she didn't want to think back and remind herself about the bad side of their relationship. Miss Ellie noticed Sue Ellen's reaction and felt a little guilty, "I'm sorry Sue Ellen, that didn't come out in the way I had intended. I don't blame you for that accident, nor am I condemning you for having problems; all I meant was that there is no such thing as a perfect marriage, and criticising someone else's marriage doesn't improve your own marriage". Sue Ellen looked back up at her mother-in-law, she appeared to be genuinely apologising, though it didn't make her feel any better, all the problems she had buried were at the forefront of her mind again now, "I understand, thank you", she paused, not knowing what else to say, "are you finished your coffee? We should probably leave before the traffic gets too heavy"; the look in her eyes told Miss Ellie everything she needed to know, their conversation was over for now, "yes, let's go".

Arriving back at Southfork after a mostly silent journey home, Miss Ellie touched Sue Ellen's hand to stop her for a moment as they arrived at the top of the staircase, "I'm not the enemy Sue Ellen, I love you like a daughter, and that means that I just want what's best for you; I want you to be happy. I know you don't want to talk about it right now, but I want you to know that I'm here for you if you ever need someone to talk to, or even just to listen", she squeezed her hand before letting go. "Thank you Miss Ellie; I'm sorry I appeared rude earlier, it was wrong for me to say those things", Sue Ellen waited a moment for Miss Ellie to smile and acknowledge her words before she turned to walk back to her room. "Oh, Sue Ellen, one more thing" Miss Ellie called her back, needing to make sure that Sue Ellen understood that burying her problems wasn't a long-term solution, "whether you talk to me or not is completely your choice to make, however, I do think that you and JR need to talk. Putting in a little bit of extra effort to communicate your feelings can go a long way, because you'd be surprised how many things men don't understand or don't think about. If you tell him how you feel as you feel things and don't bottle them up and let them become bigger issues, you'll save yourself a lot of time and worry. By talking to each other, you may very well find out that he really has no idea that certain things upset you; its natural, men don't analyse things like we women do, so sometimes we need to stop thinking so hard and start communicating at a more basic level. I promise, talking to him cannot make anything worse and should ideally only improve your relationship", she finished speaking and Sue Ellen nodded, "thank you Miss Ellie", she responded quietly before opening the door to their bedroom and entering, leaning back against the door as it closed.

To be continued…