Dallas, Texas

Sue Ellen felt sick as the nurse showed her in to the doctor's office, she was anxious and excited, though also a little cautious and worried, and combined with the physical symptoms she'd been having, she really just didn't feel good in general. She had been for an appointment on Monday and explained everything she had been feeling, along with the calendar references to back up her thoughts; however, the doctor had been fairly tight-lipped during the appointment, giving no real indication as to what he was thinking or whether he believed that her suspicions were even close to being correct. So now, on Thursday morning, she didn't really know what to think of being called in to receive her test results in person; the last time this had happened, she'd been devastated and had crashed hard emotionally and she wasn't sure she could deal with that kind of disappointment again. "Mrs Ewing. How are you feeling today?" Dr Danvers smiled as he entered the room and shook her hand and Sue Ellen smiled back weakly, "well, I'm a little tired and nauseated but I'm getting used to feeling that way, it's my new normal. I'm also feeling rather anxious, but I think that has more to do with the anticipation of my test results than anything medical. Other than that, I'm fine", she gave a short answer and waited for him to speak again, all she wanted to know was whether she was going to have a baby or not, the chitchat about her general wellbeing could wait. "Mhm, yes, the nausea and tiredness are to be expected, though they should taper off after the first trimester. Now, you mentioned in our last appointment that you'd been having some emotional ups and downs? Is that still the case?"

Sue Ellen blinked at the doctor in disbelief, was he confirming the news she had been waiting for, or was he just speaking in general terms? "I'm sorry doctor… did you say trimester? Am I…?" she looked at him with wide, hopeful eyes and it suddenly occurred to him that their introductory conversation had skipped ahead and they were discussing her condition without him having actually confirmed it to her. "Oh, I'm sorry; I should have opened with your results. Yes, the tests came back positive. Congratulations Mrs Ewing", he gave her a warm smile and handed her a box of tissues as the tears began to stream down her cheeks; he'd seen plenty of patients react to the news of a positive pregnancy test in this way, though not all of them had been crying due to happiness. However, he knew that Sue Ellen's tears weren't tears of sadness or tears related to the hormonal changes her body was going through, they were tears of joy at the news she had been waiting for for so long now. As much as he was supposed to hold only a professional opinion and relationship with his patients, personally, he was very pleased for her and for the Ewing family; he knew from talking to both Jock and Miss Ellie at their general check-ups that they were both eagerly anticipating the news of another grandchild. However, even more than Jock and Miss Ellie, he was thrilled to be able to give Sue Ellen the news. The young woman had been questioning him about her fertility since the day she returned from her honeymoon and he was genuinely pleased that he was finally able to give her some real, solid, positive news, not a vague answer about her health, age, lifestyle and marital relations being on her side and letting nature take its course.

The rest of the appointment had been a blur of information and as Sue Ellen left the doctor's office and walked through the parking lot toward her car, she couldn't believe it had actually happened. It amazed her that she felt so different now than she had just a few hours ago, because in her heart, she had already known it, the doctor's tests had really just confirmed it for her. She felt wonderful as she thought about it, it was as if everything she had gone through in the past had a reason now, it had finally led her here; her life finally had purpose and direction and she felt finally felt secure and happy when she looked toward the future. Just six weeks ago, she had been JR Ewing's lonely, bored and depressed wife, but now, she was carrying JR Ewing's child, the future heir to the Ewing Empire; a child was also someone that would depend on her and look at her with love and admiration, and selfishly that pleased her, she liked the thought of being needed. A child would provide her with purpose and direction in her life, a child was a readymade companion, and a child would secure her place in the Ewing family; there really wasn't anything bad about the situation, at least not that she could think of right now. As long as she was a better mother to her child than her own mother had been to her, something she was confident she would be, and as long as external circumstances and influences cooperated with her vision, she imagined that the pregnancy was just the wonderful beginning of her new life, a life she couldn't wait to start living.

Looking at her watch, she realised that it was only just after eleven in the morning, and seeing as that she was already in Dallas, she decided to do a little shopping before she headed back to Southfork. She briefly thought about driving over to Ewing Oil to tell JR the good news, however, she decided it was best not to disturb him at work, he was a busy man who didn't need his wife interrupting his business day, especially since her news wasn't going anywhere, it could wait a few hours. Walking into The Store, she headed straight upstairs to the children's department, more specifically, the baby clothes; however, as she headed toward the racks and shelves of garments, she had a sudden realisation, something that hadn't occurred to her before this moment and that she felt silly that she was just realising it now, she could be having a girl. Despite the fact that she knew a pregnancy could result in either a boy or a girl and she had no choice in the matter, she had still always imagined it to be a boy. Jock, Miss Ellie and JR were always talking about the future John Ross Ewing III, something that didn't bother her, she'd love to have a son, however, she had only ever heard them speak of the future child as a male, so naturally, she began to think of it that way too. A daughter had only ever been part of her thoughts during times when she was with Lucy, Kristin or Mary, but even then, it was a maternal feeling toward each individual girl rather than an imagined future with a daughter; the baby she and JR had been trying to conceive for so long had always been a boy. However, as she walked around the gendered clothing racks, she realised that she would be happy with either sex, she desperately just wanted to be a mother, and whether that was to a son or a daughter was irrelevant, at least to her personally. Having a son as their first-born child would make things easier for both she and JR as a couple though, because there were so many things that were dependent on the future little Ewing being a male child, but if she had a daughter first, then it wasn't the end of the world. She had always wanted a family and that meant more than one child; if their first child was a girl, then they could always try again for a boy in the future; JR would still have the chance to get his son, his namesake. A Ewing daughter would live a charmed life, and their son would be given everything he needed to be successful and follow in JR's footsteps in the future. As she thought about it, it didn't seem so scary after all, there was a positive side to both possibilities, and even then, there was still only a 50% chance of their baby being a girl, and that meant that there was an equal chance of it being a boy. Either way though, she couldn't control it, so it really wasn't something to stress about. Dismissing her current thoughts, she turned back to the clothing, selecting a few yellow items in the meantime; just because she didn't know the sex of her baby, didn't mean that she couldn't still shop for it.

To be continued…