Dallas, Texas

"That's it, next time Lucy says she wants to have dinner with a friend, she invites her friend here instead of going over there; this house is too damn quiet", Jock grumbled as Teresa collected their dinner plates, "Southfork is supposed to be a family home, but look at it now, so still and silent". Sue Ellen smiled weakly and nodded at Jock's sentiments, though truthfully, she was a little annoyed at him for complaining about the lack of people at the dinner table, it wasn't something that he had no control over. Bobby was out-of-town on business more often than not and his absence tonight wasn't unusual, but JR was in Dallas, he just happened to be working late at the office. If Jock really wanted JR in attendance, all he had to do was ask, but instead of requesting he finish work at a reasonable time and come home for dinner, he made it clear that there was work to be done at the office and JR felt responsible for making sure that work got done. Jock was JR's weak spot, he would do anything to please his daddy and it annoyed Sue Ellen that Jock never seemed to notice the effort that his eldest son made. It was as if he just expected JR to be the best and do what needed to be done, but he never thought to thank him for his effort or even acknowledge the hard work that went into making things happen. On the other side, she'd seen first-hand the way that he treated Bobby for his accomplishments, accomplishments that in comparison to JR's accomplishments, were small and fairly insignificant. The worst part though was seeing the way Jock's obvious favouritism affected JR, even if he didn't admit the depth of his feelings very often, she knew it hurt him and it saddened her that JR tried so hard and received so little from his father, it simply wasn't fair. She knew from experience what it was like to work so hard to please a parent but to always come up short and she empathised greatly with JR. She had been lucky enough to get a little peace and separation in her life when she had moved out of her mother's house after she married JR, but for JR, both fortunately and unfortunately, his work and home life were completely intertwined with the Ewing family and there was no escaping dealing with his father's inflated expectations every day.

Subconsciously, as she thought about JR's childhood and then her own, her hand moved to her abdomen and she made a silent vow to herself that no matter what, their child would always know that they were loved and wanted. She prayed that she would never become her mother, because she couldn't bear the thought of ruining another child's life the way her mother had ruined hers and the way both Jock and Miss Ellie had messed up JR's. Sue Ellen didn't personally have a problem with Miss Ellie, she loved having a loving mother figure in her life, however, her personal view didn't stop her from recognizing that Miss Ellie was partially responsible for JR's childhood and the way he was now. It was painfully obvious that Bobby was Jock's favourite son and Gary was Miss Ellie's, but with three sons and only two parents, JR was the son that was no one's favourite. The combination of being both the first-born son and the least loved son meant that he had always been burdened with the highest expectations while simultaneously being allocated the least love and good attention from his parents; it really explained to Sue Ellen why her husband was the way he was. Even though JR was a grown man, Sue Ellen knew that deep down, the sad little boy was still there; she had witnessed his emotional barrier come down a few times and every time it did, her heart broke for him. The rare stories he told her of his life were all too familiar and the thought of a parent treating their child in the way JR's parents had treated him and the reminder of how her mother had treated her upset her, especially now that she was about to become a parent herself.

Her thoughts were broken as Teresa walked into the dining room with three plates of dessert and she found herself completely distracted as the smell of the pecan pie reached her nose. The first few weeks of her pregnancy, she had had terrible food aversions and morning sickness, but in the past week, that had tapered off and had been replaced by random cravings and inflated excitement about certain foods, though, in her experience, the same food hadn't appeared twice yet. The whole thing struck her as odd, but a quick phone call with the doctor had assured her that whatever was happening to her was perfectly normal, and she saw no reason to doubt that, because really, what did she know? She had never been pregnant before. "I suppose there is one good thing about having less people here though", like Sue Ellen's had, Jock's mood improved immensely as he caught sight of the pecan pie and both Miss Ellie and Sue Ellen gave him a curious look as he spoke, "there's more pie to go around". Sue Ellen relaxed as the conversation moved away from the family, or lack of family, at Southfork and on to the upcoming Oil Baron's Ball, that was neutral territory and something she was actually looking forward to.

After dinner, she retired upstairs to the bedroom to take a relaxing bath; JR was guaranteed to be home late, and she'd already read every magazine in the house, so she needed something else to occupy her time alone. As she lay in the water and relaxed, her mind moved back to the Oil Baron's Ball; it was being held next weekend, the weekend before Thanksgiving, and she made a mental note to shop for a dress alone. It wasn't that she disliked Miss Ellie at all, however, shopping for dresses alone sounded like the safest option if she wanted to wait until Thanksgiving to make her pregnancy known. She'd gained a little over two pounds and although she didn't have a noticeable bump yet, her belly area was no longer as flat as it had been pre-pregnancy and her figure was beginning to change. She was glad that the fall weather had arrived in the past few weeks, because it gave her an excuse to wear thicker fabrics and more layered looks, which right now, was all she really needed to hide her changing body. The biggest reason she was most thankful for the fall weather though was that it gave her a proper excuse as to why she wasn't swimming, one the rest of the family wouldn't question. She would never wear a bikini at Southfork, but even her one-piece swimsuits showed every curve of her body, and if the new bras she'd had to purchase were any indication, she wasn't sure her that any of her swimsuits would even fit modestly anymore. As she thought about the changes her body was going through, she began to feel overly self-conscious about her appearance, her whole life, her identity had been based on how she looked and she still wasn't sure that she was mentally prepared for the upcoming changes, though it was a bit late to be having second thoughts now. What calmed her and reassured her though was the way JR had been treating her the past few weeks, it was obvious that he was pleased about the baby, but more specifically, when they were intimate, she had no doubt that he appreciated her more womanly figure, and that was exactly the confidence boost she needed. Finishing her bath, she changed into her nightgown and headed to bed, it was still early by normal standards, but she found herself tiring more and more easily lately, and coupled with the relaxing bath she'd just taken, she was asleep in no time.

To be continued…