Austin, Texas

"JR", speaking his name breathily, Sue Ellen was conscious of how he affected her; she didn't want to be attracted to him, not right now, not with everything that he'd done to her, but that didn't mean that she wasn't attracted to him, because she was, very much. "You look beautiful", he looked her in the eye as he genuinely complimented her, "thank you", she was flattered as she accepted his compliment, but she was also confused, this wasn't the same JR that had visited her last week and their conversation so far wasn't at all how she'd envisioned it. Handing her the bouquet of yellow roses and small gift box, he took notice of her physical features in more detail; she really was a beautiful lady. "Can we go somewhere a little more private to talk? I have a few things I'd like to say", he couldn't believe how nervous he was, JR Ewing wasn't supposed to feel like this, he was supposed to be in control of the situation and feel confident that everything would work out in his favour. However, today, he knew that wasn't entirely true, he had the power of persuasion, charm, and hopefully love on his side, but the final decision of the fate of their marriage wasn't his to make. He knew that Sue Ellen had to come back to Southfork willingly, he couldn't force her back, not now that his parents knew why she'd left; he may have been able to get away with manipulating her actions and decisions in the past, but not anymore, his parents simply wouldn't accept his negative behaviour toward his wife any longer. Sue Ellen motioned toward the hotel restaurant, "the steak is wonderful", she wasn't sure that she really wanted to commit to a whole lunch with him, but the reality was that it was lunch time, she was hungry, the hotel was her safe territory and she sure as hell wasn't going to invite him upstairs to her room. "Lead the way", JR grinned to himself as they walked a few feet toward the restaurant, lunch was a much friendlier gesture than he'd expected from her and if she was this friendly now, then maybe there was hope for their relationship. "Corner table please", JR asserted his power and the hostess changed her direction and led them toward a corner table, away from the rest of the patrons.

JR broke the somewhat awkward silence that they'd fallen into after placing their drink orders, "thank you for seeing me darlin'", he really was trying, his mother's words had had an effect on him and he now realised that his life didn't exist in a vacuum and his actions had consequences, whether he intended them to or not. "Well, I thought I at least owed you the courtesy after you sent me all of those flowers and lovely gifts. Thank you for those", she smiled at him, though her guard was still up and she was consciously reminding herself not to get too emotionally involved with his thoughtful, charming side, because although the flowers and gifts were lovely, they were still only material gestures and they didn't make up for any of his lies or deception. "I'm glad you liked them", JR smiled briefly before their conversation lulled again and they found themselves in another awkward silence. After their drinks arrived and the waitress left the table, Sue Ellen decided that it was time to stop the polite conversation and get on to the real reason why he was in Austin right now, "you said you had something to say and I'm here now, so please…" She looked at him from across the table as she spoke and as they made eye contact, he saw past her emotional wall for a moment, her expressive brown eyes divulging so many things that were unsaid. "I…" he didn't know how to start the conversation, it wasn't a pleasant subject, "well, there's a lot, but first and foremost, I wanted to say that I'm sorry". He looked at her as he spoke before casting his eyes down at the table as he thought about what he was apologising for; whatever way he looked at the situation, all paths led back to him being the one who was responsible for her heartbreak. Sure, her mother was to blame for her low self-esteem and Sue Ellen herself was to blame for her feelings and reactions to certain events, but ultimately, if JR had been a good husband, in more ways than just being a faithful husband, then most of her pain wouldn't have existed. "You're sorry?" Sue Ellen spoke in a tone as if to tell him that she was waiting and expecting further explanation; she could see that he was trying, but she needed more than just a sorry, she needed answers, true remorse and a recommitment and she wanted to make sure that he understood that. JR sensed a little hostility in her words and the confidence he'd had when she first suggested lunch was all but gone now; she may have been friendly when they were exchanging social niceties, but this was a real, raw conversation and she was emotionally affected by it. Gathering whatever confidence he still had, he spoke again, "I am. I'm sorry for everything; for the infidelity, for the emotional neglect, for the lies and the distrust, for the lack of emotional understanding or consideration I put into my actions, for ever making you think that you weren't good enough, for everything. I'm sorry for everything", he was self-conscious as he finished his brief explanation and he braced himself for hostility and anger and he didn't blame her for feeling that way toward him.

As JR spoke, all of the pain she'd felt over the past few weeks returned to her and she suddenly felt uncomfortable being so close to him and she regretted asking him to lunch, she wasn't ready to be acting as if things were good between them, because they weren't. "Sorry is just a word JR, and while I can appreciate the gesture and the effort it took to say those words, I can't honestly sit here and say that I forgive you, because I don't, not yet anyway", she took a sip of her club soda as she gathered her thoughts and watched JR looking around the room uncomfortably. "Why JR?" she came back from her brief pause with just two words, two words that JR didn't completely understand the meaning of; "why what?" in his mind, he'd apologised and admitted his wrongdoing, but in her mind, that was only half of the discussion. Frustrated with his lack of understanding, Sue Ellen sighed, "why did you do it? Why wasn't I enough? Why didn't you say anything to me if you were unhappy? Why did it go on for so long? Why, why, why", she felt herself getting more emotional as she spoke, it was painful to relive the experience and being here with him right now was almost too much. "I…" he didn't really know how to explain his actions, they were wrong, but at the time, he'd had a justification for most things, and for the rest, he either hadn't cared about how she would feel or he simply didn't think about her at all, "you want the honest truth? I cheated because I could; it wasn't you at all, it was all me. The emotional neglect happened from a combination of my drive for control of Ewing Oil and because ultimately, I'm selfish and never considered your feelings. Almost everything I do can be attributed to three motivations, money, power and greed", he sighed and stopped himself from explaining it too much in-depth, he didn't know exactly how much she knew about him and he didn't want to ruin any more of her opinions or mental images of him. "Look, Sue Ellen, I've made a lot of mistakes, but none worse than hurting you as much as I did a few weeks ago. I am truly sorry, for everything, but especially for the pain and hurt I've caused you recently". He paused and took a deep breath, "I know it's asking too much right now, but I really hope that in the future, you'll find a way to accept my apology and believe my commitment to you is real. I promise, if you agree to come back to Southfork and take me back as your husband, I promise I won't let you down. I'll make you proud to call me your husband, our child proud to call me their father and mama and daddy proud to have me as a son again. All I ask is for another chance, one more chance to prove myself capable of being those things", he sat quietly as he waited for her to respond, and as Sue Ellen sat in silence as she considered his words, he began to wonder whether he'd said too much. He had rambled a little more than he intended to, but he hoped that she understood and saw how sorry he was and how much he did want a second chance. "Sue Ellen?" he broke the long silence that had come over them, though as he did, he immediately regretted it, "I'm sorry JR. I can't do this right now. I have to go", she spoke quickly and quietly before standing, taking her purse and leaving the table.

To be continued…