Dallas, Texas

As JR watched his wife driving around the ranch, it became clear to him that something was wrong; her dissatisfaction and false happiness were becoming more and more obvious as the minutes passed and he no longer felt completely relaxed in her presence. She was still smiling and making polite conversation and to an ordinary person, it would appear that she were actually pleased with her gift, however, he knew her better than to be fooled by the happy façade she was portraying. After having seen her genuinely happy many times, having been witness to her acting and pretending everything was fine when it clearly wasn't and remembering the memories of her pageant queen life as directed by Patricia, it was obvious to him that the way she was behaving right now was not even close to being due to true happiness. She was consciously controlling her actions so that she appeared happy and if she had to pretend that she was happy rather than just naturally showing it, then what she was really feeling was much worse. "Pull over", as the pond appeared within walking distance, he decided that it was time to get to the bottom of whatever was bothering her and if he was going to start asking hard questions that would make her overly emotional in any way, he knew it was best for them to not be driving when he broached the subject. After the events of the previous months, he'd come to a realisation, he did love his wife and a life with her was so much more than a life without her and in light of his realisation he had honestly been trying to be a better husband. At times, he still lacked full understanding of exactly what being a better husband meant and how to balance his actions and reactions to things, because there was no manual to love and marriage, it was all about gut instinct and doing the right thing, something he had to consciously consider sometimes. However, as unnatural as it was for him to always consider the emotional side of a situation, he knew full well that communication was the key to solving many of the problems he and Sue Ellen faced. If he sat back and said nothing when he clearly noticed that something was bothering her, or worse, simply accepted her false answers as truth, then he was contributing to the problem; sweeping things under the rug didn't help Sue Ellen or their relationship and he understood that now.

Following her husband's directions, Sue Ellen pulled over, stopping and parking a few hundred yards from the pond; switching off the engine as she sensed his intentions, he wanted to talk and she was going to have to give him some answers. Stepping out of the car and walking around to the driver's side, JR opened the door and held his hand out, assisting his wife as she stood. Taking the initiative to do something about whatever the current situation was, he subtly guided them away from the car; they were going to go for a walk and if he had his way, they wouldn't return to the ranch until found a solution to whatever problem was bothering her. Walking silently for a few minutes, JR took the initiative once again, "what's wrong?" although his words sounded simple, perhaps even a little demanding, the way he spoke was sincere and Sue Ellen didn't feel threatened or upset when he questioned her, though it still didn't make it any easier to verbalise what she was feeling. In a way, it wasn't one thing that was bothering her; sure, the car had brought her feelings to the surface, but she'd been ignoring the little things for a while and stupidly, she had once again pretended that little issues didn't compound into a bigger issue, though she knew that they did, she'd experienced it many times before. Unsure of how to respond, Sue Ellen found herself diverting the attention away from her own issues and back to her husband's thoughts, "why did you buy me a new car?" The words left her mouth quickly and as they did, she began to regret saying anything; if his face dropping were anything to go by, then he had come to the obvious conclusion and it hurt him and that was the last thing she wanted to do. "You don't like it?" seeing the way he was looking at her made her feel guilty and ungrateful and she hated knowing that she'd hurt him, almost as much as she hated that he constantly allowed his father to railroad him into decisions, often ones suspected he probably wouldn't have made himself. There was a place for Jock Ewing in JR's life, but it wasn't supposed to come at the expense of their marriage and that's exactly how Sue Ellen felt it was sometimes. Unable to control her guilt and embarrassment, she felt herself blushing, "it's not that. I love that you think of me and want to give me gifts, it's just…" she didn't know how to explain it, because even though she had just denied that she disliked the new car, she hadn't changed her actual opinion. Watching her with confusion, JR wasn't entirely sure what to think, she was verbally expressing one thing, but her body language was saying something totally different, "I don't understand the problem then. I like giving you gifts and you like receiving them. I know you were fond of your old car, but daddy's right, a sports car is no place for a baby…" he had more to say, but as he spoke, his sentence was interrupted by his wife as she looked at him exasperatedly, "daddy said? Which one is it JR? You wanted to buy me a car because you wanted to be a nice husband, or you felt pressured by your daddy to change something about our lives because he didn't approve?"

Thrown off by her question, he found himself getting defensive, "whether daddy's opinion factored into my decision is irrelevant. I bought you a new car because I wanted to do something nice for my wife, though I'm not sure why I bothered now, it's obvious that you don't appreciate it and from the way you're acting, I'm not sure you deserve it…" His final few words came out sounding angrier than he had intended when they started talking and she felt more like a disobedient child being scolded by her father rather than a wife who was just trying to explain her feelings to her husband. She'd never intended on starting an argument, but in the moment, she'd lacked the self-control to temper her words and respond in an inoffensive but still direct way, indirectly offending him and feeling the consequences of her words almost immediately. Feeling like her old, needy, weak, emotional self again, she stopped walking and blinked back tears; she honestly hadn't meant for her response to upset him, but she hated the way he always took the opportunity to make her feel bad about what she had said and the way his words and look could make her feel. Overwhelmed by JR's anger, Jock's power over JR and their lives and the worry of how another Ewing granddaughter would change things for them, she began to cry and from his position three feet in front of her, still angry and annoyed at her formerly bratty attitude, JR found himself more confused than ever. Why was she crying and what was he supposed to do right now? A part of him wanted to hold her and comfort her, but another part was still seething at the way she had basically accused him of acting entirely on his father's preferences, inferring that he'd done so without consideration for her feelings. Knowing that it was the right thing to do, he consciously made himself walk toward her, gently pulling her toward him in an effort to comfort her as she cried, and as she made a mumbled apology through her sobs, he felt like a terrible husband. Although he was still a little upset by her accusations, he felt his anger dissipating as he held her close; she may have become a stronger woman, but she wasn't immune to upset, especially when it was caused by someone so close to her. Focusing he energy on comforting her, he temporarily shelved his anger, they still needed to talk and find the underlying cause of the issue, but now was not the right time, she was in no mental or emotional position to properly discuss anything; what she needed was her husband's unconditional love, at least for the moment.

To be continued…