Three years. All bottled up. After months of practically no nightmares, the fear strikes me again. Whenever they mention that incident, the beginning of my true fear, the decomposing of the peace and sanity that once held me together, the first hit to the foundation of what once was my naïve life… whenever that incident is spoken of, my mind becomes a battlefield where those intrusive thoughts fight the ones that tell me 'everything is going to be alright'.

These last months, I've learned that a psychology degree is not going to help me entirely. Of course, knowledge will help, but I found something stronger to ease the fear: hope.

That tiny grain of hope I'm holding onto may be my last chance to feel again… to have peace.

Meanwhile, I'll keep using this room to calm myself.

Since I told Naru I'd be back in three hours, I had one hour to sleep, another to meditate and forty-five minutes of music.

After one hour of sleep and another of meditation, I stand before the white grand piano.

I'm not a great singer nor piano player, but this is my best way to express my emotions without directly saying what I feel.

After staring at the piano for a while, I sat and as soon as I touched the first piano key, I became completely immerse in music.

Naru's POV (ten minutes after Mai left)

For the first time ever, I did my work on the office couch instead of my desk. I thought I'd feel more at peace without the noise I was used to.

But, first of all: Mai was somewhere called a 'white room' doing who-knows-what shortly after she suffered some kind of vision or memory, and there was no one there to assure she was fine.

And then…

Ayako and Monk came twenty minutes after Mai left. Well, stormed inside is a better way to describe it.

"Where's Mai?" Monk searched frantically across the office.

Gene, whom I had forgotten about, answered Monk's question. "She is somewhere called 'the white room'."

A look of relief crossed both Ayako's and Monk's faces.

"Oh, good." Ayako sighed in relief.

'What is the white room?' If I want to help Mai, I need to know more about what she does and what happened.'

Normally, I wouldn't intrude into other people's business, but for the first time I felt the need to know.

"What is the white room?" I asked.

Monk rubbed the back of his neck while finding a way to explain it.

"Well, uh… the white room is sort of a place that Mai uses to relax. She likes to be alone there, you know, to get her mind off of things. It's called the white room because the walls are white, the floor is white, her 'psychologist' couch is white and her piano is white. She has some paintings with some light colors on them, but almost everything is white. She says that white helps her to calm down and clear her mind. She usually sleeps, meditates and does other stuff to relax."

'It makes sense. Someone who suffers from stressing situations needs to know methods to relax.' Gene had a point.

"Hmm. But how are you completely sure if she is alright?"

Ayako spoke up. "Oh, don't worry about that. We've had that worry before, and Mai told us to install a camera in the room to assure she's fine."

She took out her phone and opened an app. There she was. Mai seemed peaceful while she slept.

"If you want to check on her, the program for the camera is installed all of the office's computers."

I nodded.

"I'm really busy at my parent's hospital and mister over here has band practice and interviews. So we need to go. We only came to check on Mai."

"Interviews?" And there goes our annoying twin unison voices.

Monk grinned madly. "Yeah. About a year ago, our band's popularity boosted. We're 'rising rock-stars' now."

Gene still seemed confused.

"Hmm…" was my only answer.

Monk laughed and turned to walk out of the door with Ayako. "I'll take that as a 'congratulations'."

They disappeared afterwards.

Gene and I returned to our work for half an hour, then the front door opened again.

A man about my age with glasses and dressed in semi- formal attire stared between my brother and me. His goofy grin remained the same as years ago.

Yasuhara.

"Welcome back Naru! I see you brought your mirror reflection from England."

He stared at Gene. "Finally! I can know how Naru would be if he smiled and never glared."

"Yasuhara…" As always, my glare didn't work on him.

Gene chuckled a bit and Yasu turned to look at him like he discovered tons of gold.

"So that's how it looks like!"

Here we go again with the distractions.

"What do you want, Yasuhara?"

He turned to look at me and feigned hurt. " Four years without my favorite grumpy head and this is how you greet me? Not even your beautiful eyes can distract me from my hurting heart."

"If you don't have anything important to say or do here, I suggest you leave so we can work."

He laughed and sat on the couch in front of me.

"I came to see Mai."

"Because?"

Yasuhara gave me a strange look, then a confusing gesture like he knew something. "Because our abnormal relationship urges me to do so."

"Abnormal?" I raised my eyebrow.

He smiled shortly. "You'll find out soon. Where is Mai?"

The way he answered… piqued my interest even more.

"She's in the white room."

Now Yasu raised an eyebrow. "Oh. So she already told you about that?"

"She just told us she'd be in 'the white room'. I know what it is, but I still don't know what I missed all these years." After a short pause, I continued. "Yasuhara, I need to know what happened."

His smile faltered. "I can't tell you unless she wants me to. Don't worry, she'll probably open up to you soon…" then his smile disappeared and he whispered "… or she'll hurt you."

Before I could ask anything else, he continued in a happier tone. "Well, I guess I'll wait until she comes back." He took a folder with some papers in it and started reading.

I paid no more attention and continued working.

'I wonder what's so important that he's willing to wait for two hours.' Yet again, Gene and I shared the same thought.

'I don't know. We will have to wait and see.'

Mai's POV

My 'relaxing' time was up, and I was eager to go back to work.

Upon my arrival at the office, my eyes greeted Yasu's emotionless stare.

"Yasuhara." I greeted in a monotonous voice.

"Taniyama." He replied evenly.

I noticed Naru's and Gene's presence, but I ignored them.

"What brings you here?"

"I have two reasons: the first one is to check up on you in case you've done something stupid or gone out of control, and the second one is to warn you that he's still insisting on his proposal and-"

"My answer is still no."

With an irritated face and a pinch to the bridge of his nose, he continued speaking. "Stop interrupting and let me finish."

The fire in his eyes told me to shut up.

"Continue."

"He's threatening to cancel the protection the law enforcement gives you. He will use your last case which is secretly still open. You know he has his ways of convincing others that you are guilty. Please, be careful. Getting off of his claws is not easy, and neither is choosing between being on your own leading to losing the case, or marrying that manipulative and heartless man."

Naru's, Gene's and Lin's gasps reminded me of their presence.

"Marrying? And what case is he talking about? Mai, what's going on?" Naru's exasperated voice flicked my head towards him.

How could I answer his question without telling all of the truth?

"It's just a stupid threat. The case is nothing important. It's supposed to be closed, and I'm not marrying anyone. I will explain it to you in time."

His stare didn't leave mine.

"I promise. Please, just trust me. "

After a couple seconds more of calculating his next move, he simply sighed. "You know that the company should have some information about this, right?"

"They're informed. But I know you would prefer to hear it for yourself."

Yasuhara's cough brought my attention back to him. "There's something more. His father has a new case for you."

That man. I wish I could run away from all of this. Sadly, I'm tied doing whatever work they have for me.

After a minute of silence and the stares coming from my boss, his assistant and Gene, I sigh in defeat. "I have no choice, like always. Leave the case file on my desk."

After doing so, he walked and stopped in front of the door. With the same serious face as before, he warned me "Please be careful. I don't want you to get hurt.", then he left.

Tension still hung heavily, and I knew sometime I would have to explain.

I averted my gaze from everyone and headed towards the kitchenette.

"I'm making tea, anybody else wants?"

Naru answered almost immediately. "I do."

"No thanks." Gene and Lin returned to their work.

After making tea and giving Naru his, we settled in our office.

I tried reading the case file that Yasu left, but Naru's constant stare distracted me. I knew he had questions.

"What's your question?"

I don't know why, but instant nervousness crossed me. I guess it was because I never opened up about my personal life.

Why does he keep staring at me like that?

"What exactly is your relationship with Yasuhara?"

Why would he ask a question like that?

Naru's POV

It took three seconds of staring to hear her answer.

"He's my best friend."

Ha.

Best friend

"Are you sure?"

It wasn't her hard glare that made me re-think my choice of words, but her watered eyes told me that I brought up a memory I shouldn't have.

"I'm sorry, Mai."

She wiped the only tear that fell off.

Her far away gaze complemented her quiet, wobbly voice.

"I'm sure he's my best friend. After all I've done to him, he's still helping me and even though he seems to dislike me, I know he still cares. I know he dislikes me, at least this version of myself, but he still takes care of me."

"But why does he dislike you?"

Her hands balled into fists and her expression hardened.

"After landing hurt in the hospital some years ago, he scolded me for being too reckless, and immediately I had a vision of his past and present, all in a flash. I had no control over my emotions and I threw all of his past on his face. He left the room and didn't visit me for two days. Afterwards, I apologized, but he knew that I wouldn't act like before. Yasu told me that he would treat me as friendly as before as soon as I did the same towards him. It has been three years and nothing has changed. He still helps me and checks up on me, but I haven't seen him smile at me for years."

So… this is why Yasuhara and Mai act strange when they talk.

I have my first piece of the puzzle.

"Why can't you be your old self?"

She lowered her tea cup, then closed her eyes and massaged her temples.

"I might harm you. That's all I can say for today."

Maybe I should've stopped asking questions for a while, but my tongue ran faster than my brain.

"Alright. I have another question."

Finishing from massaging her temples, and organizing the case file, she replied.

"Continue."

"What's this 'case' that you were given?"

Her body tensed as her cinnamon eyes connected with mine.

She inhaled

Then exhaled.

"I'm given cases that the law enforcement think may be cause by either a human, or something supernatural. I help them by either confirming it's not supernatural, or exorcising and cleansing if it is. The real problem comes when the events happening are all human-based. I'm not guaranteed full protection. If I sleep alone, there's a huge chance that I'll be attacked by a murderer or a simple criminal."

My skin crawled at the mention of criminals and murderers. My heart turned wild as I thought of the possibilities of Mai being in more danger than I ever thought she could get into.

"Judging by what both you and Yasuhara said before, you can't say no, right?"

She immediately answered a "no."

I'm not letting Mai risk her life if I can stop it.

"Tell them I can help. "

Mai's POV

"Wait, you want to go help?"

'Why would he?'

"If it lowers your risks of getting attacked, why not?"

Why is my stomach feeling funny?

A sense of déjà vu hits me.

I've felt like this before… when I saw him smiling.

Does he care for me?

Is he really willing to help them so I won't be at risk?

"…I don't know if they'll let you."

"I'll tell them that you're my employee and let them know where I come from. I'll tell them my true identity if that's what it takes to be in the case. They won't resist if they know they have a chance at having another professional at help."

Hope…

Was this part of the hope I felt, that someone would go to such extent to keep me as far away from danger as possible?

But, if he only knew how I survived after these years, he might keep himself from the danger that I cause.

But… I'll keep hope that he might help me keep away from hurting anybody, no matter how malicious and disgusting they might be.

I snapped out of my thoughts. "Alright"

He sighed in relief, and before resuming his work, he looked at me with a feeling I could not recall. "Oh, Mai?"

When I zoned back to reality after analyzing his emotional gaze, I replied. "Yes?"

My heart stopped.

He… gave me a heartwarming smile. "I forgot to thank you for the watch. So… thank you."

Now my heart dropped to my stomach then jumped to my throat.

I smiled the least I could, so he doesn't expect more emotions from me every time. "You're welcome."

Both of us looked away afterwards. When I turned to look at him again, his smile had disappeared and he was working again.

The day had gone uneventful, except for a few calls from possible clients for interview appointments.

Naru called that stupid detective, and was appointed immediately to work on the case as- obviously- a paranormal investigator. He only mentioned that he was my boss, -you know, the leader of a successful paranormal investigation company branch- and the schemer detective took him and Lin to participate on the case.

The case began the day after, so we closed the office early and drived our separate ways to our apartments to prepare ourselves.

When I got home, I prepared my bag and cooked something. With a full stomach, the tiredness overcame me, but before I fell asleep, I thought 'If only Gene could be my spirit guide again, I would have someone to help me discern reality from imagination, and past from present.'

Gene's POV

Since I was left in charge of watching the office and answering calls- so much for being a medium- I took a quick shower then jumped on my bed. For some odd reason, I felt tired and I was pulled into a place I never thought I'd see again: the spiritual plane.

In the blink of an eye, my vision changed into a room. I looked around as all my senses clashed in me.

Loud banging from outside could be heard in there. Men were shouting and insulting with rage.

'Why am I here? Who is the one they're looking for?'

The banging continued and there was no sign of anyone who could be responsible for these men's shouts.

Then I heard it.

A tremorous and barely audible cry could be heard from behind me.

My body tensed up when I saw a younger Mai with her hands covering her ears and her face stained in tears.

A loud smash resonated throughout the whole place, then Mai hurriedly hid under the bed. Not even four seconds later, a couple of men barged into the room, checked the bathroom, then looked at the bed. They looked at each other and silently agreed to check there.

No.

No.

No!

My heart stopped as one of the men reached one side of the bed, then pulled Mai's legs.

"No! Don't touch her!" I lunged towards the man, only to remember that it was a vision as my body went right through him.

The man turned her around and grabbed her wrists, looked at her then threw her out of her bedroom.

It was hard to watch the next events, until this sorry excuse for a man raised his hand into a fist then spoke to Mai.

"After I'm done with you, I'll make sure your friends pay too. They will remember you as a weak girl who couldn't take a hit and as the one responsible for what we'll do to them."

His fist meant to clash with her face, but it stopped forcefully an inch above it.

"I am not a weak girl."

Her voice kept rising.

"I am not going to let you play with my mind and-"

The apartment got extremely cold.

"You. Will. Not. Touch. Them."

A burst of PK energy hit the man sitting on her legs, throwing him against the glass coffee table, then Mai looked at the man who grabbed her shoulders. He was backing away, so she used it as an opportunity to get up and face the rest of the men.

Two did not back down and tried to grab her, but she was fast to jerk them off the ground with another blast of energy. She searched for the only man conscious, but he had escaped.

Mai looked to her surroundings. The man that tried to beat her remained unconscious over the pieces of her smashed coffee table, and the other two unconscious men were lying on the ground with broken paintings and pictures that once decorated her wall.

All of this madness happened in the span of ten minutes.

Mai looked at her shaking hands, then at the mirror at the other side of the apartment. She kept staring intently at herself.

The police sirens and the rushed footsteps from outside were finally heard, but Mai didn't seem to notice them as she simply kept looking at everything- the unconscious men, the broken pieces of furniture and decoration, and her bruises- caused by either the men or herself.

"This rage? Never again."

Then she fell unconscious like the other men.

'Don't worry, Mai. Everything will get better, I know it.'

I'm back! Sorry! I'm still writing on another computer. I tried finishing last week, but either things keep coming up or I feel tired.

I feel like sharing a thought so… here it goes.

Even if we are going through horrible times, we should keep hope and keep pushing forward so that things get better and remember that we are not alone through though times. There will always be someone that cares.

Meh, I'm not a poet, but I think it's good advice :P

You are welcome to share your thoughts. :)

BTW: I'm not planning to make this a 'Mai-sings-all- the-time' fanfiction, but I'll incorporate parts of songs from time to time.