Dallas, Texas

"I asked Doctor Krane before I left the hospital and she said that as long as I felt physically up to it and didn't push my body to an extreme, I could start at any time. It's been a week and I'd really like to start moving again; I feel fine and I promise, I'll not overwork myself. I'll run for thirty minutes, come back, rinse off, change, and then swim for another thirty minutes. An hour's exercise a day is what I did pre-pregnancy and I believe that even if it's at a slower pace for a little while due to lack of consistent practice, it's not impossible for me to achieve that level again if I pace myself correctly". Sue Ellen didn't enjoy having to justify her every action, but she understood where Miss Ellie was coming from with her concern; her mother-in-law wasn't trying to tell her that she shouldn't want to work toward getting her body back or feeling healthier, she was simply worried that she would take it too far and overwork herself. It was possible that she may have done that in the past, she was a rather vain woman and working off the extra pounds she was still carrying was something that was important to her, however, there was a simple thing stopping her from going too crazy with her exercise regimen, her son. She enjoyed spending time being a mother to him and even though she knew that she would eventually have to split her attention multiple ways and get her life back to 'normal', that wasn't what she wanted right now. However, the fact was that John Ross slept for a good part of the day and during those times, there wasn't too much parenting to be done, so she wanted to do something productive with her time while he was in that state. Working out was something she needed for herself and she wanted for her husband and son and she had decided even before she gave birth that having a child wasn't going to stop her from maintaining her health and wellbeing.

She had mentally planned and was in the process of implementing a relaxed routine for she and John Ross during the day, but to do that, she needed to make sure that Miss Ellie understood why she did what she did, because although she was John Ross' mother, not Miss Ellie, her mother-in-law still worried about both of them. In the few days they'd been home, she'd started working on getting them on a loosely structured schedule; after family breakfast, she brought John Ross downstairs to wave goodbye to JR as he went to work, then she and Miss Ellie spent a little time outside with him in the sun to allow him to get his vitamin D. At around 10.30am, it was time for his next feeding, usual diaper change, a little playtime where she either read or sang to him followed by a little quiet time in preparation for his nap. The rest of the day happened in a fairly repetitive cycle, John Ross was just a baby, he didn't really do much else apart from his basic life cycle. Now though, a week after his birth, Sue Ellen was ready to change things a little; she wanted to use the hour from about 11am-12 noon to get herself back into shape. It all worked in her mind, while John Ross was sleeping, she would exercise and return to the house in time to shower and change back into normal clothes for lunch with Miss Ellie and in time to be there when John Ross awoke from his nap. She hadn't incorporated her DOA or charity commitments back into her personal schedule just yet, right now, she was still getting used to and enjoying every day with her son. However, she knew that at some point, even if it was only to maintain her adult brain functionality, she would have to start making sure she had enough time for herself too. She couldn't just be John Ross's mother, being JR's wife wasn't enough for her in the long run and she was determined not to repeat the same mistakes with her son, he was an innocent and didn't deserve to have to deal with her falling apart, he needed his mother.

Of course, her schedule was loosely structured specifically because even though she had everything planned out, her plans didn't always come to fruition and sometimes John Ross had plans of his own. She was flexible though and really, she only needed her general hour of her time alone each day to exercise, it could be any time, it didn't have to be right at 11am. Her biggest hurdle right now was Miss Ellie's apparent opposition to her suggestion that she would start exercising again, as if it were too much for her to handle at the moment. She didn't want to sit around the house all day though, she was feeling better and she wanted to start living her life normally again, as a wife and mother but also as a relatively young, healthy woman; she wanted to look good and she didn't want anyone telling her that she shouldn't or couldn't do that.

"Well, if Doctor Krane said it was ok and you truly feel ok, then I suppose it'll be ok for you to exercise for a little while. Please don't overexert yourself though, I worry about you…" In expressing concern, Miss Ellie was thinking of Sue Ellen's mental health more than her physical health. Over the past few years, she'd witnessed Patricia Shepard criticise her daughter's physical appearance in great detail and although her last visit had gone relatively smoothly, she could see that it bothered Sue Ellen to not be the same size, shape or in the same physically fit condition she had grown to believe was expected of her. If she knew Sue Ellen as well as she thought she did, she had a suspicion that she would do anything and everything to get back to the way she had been, if only to avoid hearing an exaggerated truth from her mother. In thinking about the situation though, Miss Ellie had neglected to consider Sue Ellen's perspective; perhaps she didn't just want to avoid her mother's criticism and the harshness of her own thoughts, perhaps she actually enjoyed being a healthy and attractive woman and she wasn't prepared to pretend that having a child automatically moved her out of that category. "I won't, I promise. I want to be here when John Ross wakes up, but there's no reason why I should sit around doing nothing while I wait for him to do that. Please don't worry about me Miss Ellie, I told you a long time ago that all I really wanted in life was to be a good wife and mother and now that I have the opportunity to do so, that's exactly what I intend to do. I'll be back in half an hour and I'll be finished in time for lunch and to see my son", hoping that her smile was one that encouraged Miss Ellie to believe her, Sue Ellen was also relieved when Teresa appeared in the doorway to say that Mavis Anderson was on the phone. It gave her an out from the conversation and by the time she arrived back at Southfork, right on time, Miss Ellie would see for herself that there was nothing for her to worry about; she was different now, everything was right in her life and she didn't intend on screwing that up. The old Sue Ellen had had a hard time just living, simply existing as an adornment on the arm of a wealthy man wasn't enough for her, but now that she had real goals and responsibilities, she felt more determined and focused, she would be a good wife, mother and happy woman, for herself and for her family.

To be continued…