Dallas, Texas

"I promise I'll be a good mama", sitting in the wooden rocking chair in the nursery, gently moving back and forth as she held her son in her arms, Sue Ellen felt calm and happy; there was something about being with her son that made all of her other concerns seem small and insignificant, at least in the moment. Her appointment with Doctor Williams earlier in the day had stirred up a lot of old memories and feelings, but instead of getting caught up in all of the negativity that came with some of her experiences, she was trying her hardest to focus on the positive side. Her mother may have treated her poorly and her father may not have been much of a father to her in the years he had been present, but she was determined not to let those experiences completely ruin her life. Having such a poor representation of what good parents were and knowing how it felt to live that way, she knew she had to give John Ross a better life. It wasn't simply a want now like it had been before she and JR conceived or when she was pregnant, it was a need and she would do everything in her power to make sure that happened, including putting herself through painful sessions of recounting and analysing her memories. It would all be worth it when she came out at the other end as a happier and better-adjusted woman.

Having fed, changed and cuddled him, she wasn't surprised when her son's eyes began to droop. He wasn't entirely predictable, sometimes things didn't go as expected and his fussiness and crying would last for a long time before he eventually fell into an exhausted sleep, but usually, a new diaper, full tummy and a little bit of love and attention were just what he needed to feel sleepy again. Standing as smoothly and quietly as possible, she placed him into his crib and watched over him for a few moments before she turned and left the room. As much as she would have liked to have stayed and held or simply watched him for his entire nap, she knew that it would be unnecessarily clingy for her to actually do so. She wasn't entirely unaware, she knew she needed balance and losing her own identity to only identify as a role in relation to her husband or son was a bad path to go down; she needed Doctor Williams' help for a lot of issues, but that wasn't one of them. What she did need help with was her constant struggle with her inner demons; her appearance, worthiness and all-round low self-esteem were things that she knew she needed to address and this afternoon, she was actually quite proud of herself for making the first moves toward addressing them. Doctor Williams hadn't said anything particularly profound, in fact, his words during their appointment had been limited, however, just having someone who was purely on her side and was there to help her succeed in dealing with and eventually overcoming her issues was a huge help in itself. She'd only been to one appointment and had stirred up memories that she would have preferred to forget, but despite that, she was actually feeling a little happier and more positive; it was good to talk to someone and coming home, she was reminded that even if she had a hard time in life sometimes, not everything was bad. It made her feel good to know that Miss Ellie cared enough about her to want to see her happy and healthy; she felt loved when JR expressed his affection, respect and adoration for her; and feeling the way John Ross went from distressed to calm because of her maternal actions was a great joy.

"Julie", pointing at the bar in his office, Jock gave his secretary her next instructions before turning back to his sons, "are we all in agreement about this plan?" looking from Bobby to JR and then back again, he was pleased when they both nodded and verbally agreed. The oil industry was becoming increasingly unpredictable and Ewing Oil needed strong leadership and management to ensure that they remained a powerhouse in Texan business; luckily for him though, his eldest and youngest sons both seemed to agree and understand that what was best for Ewing Oil was what they had become accustomed to doing. In the past, JR had travelled a lot for business, partially because he was the most qualified businessman Ewing Oil had, partially because he didn't trust Bobby to do any real business and partially because he enjoyed the freedom that came with being out of Dallas. However, that had all changed during Sue Ellen's pregnancy and Jock completely understood why those changes needed to be established as permanent; he had the grandson he'd always wanted and the way he saw JR interacting with him was something to admire and be proud of. He understood and supported JR's decision to focus on Ewing Oil's Dallas-based business and only commit to travelling on completely necessary occasions; it made him proud to see that JR was finally facing up to his responsibilities and that he actually appeared to be enjoying his new life. Of course he wanted his eldest son to do whatever it took to make Ewing Oil the biggest independent oil company in Texas and he knew that it would take a lot of time and effort to do such a thing, however, it all seemed so much more worthwhile now that little John Ross Ewing III was here. JR was his firstborn and they shared a special bond that he didn't have with his other sons; he may have liked and treated Bobby better than Gary or JR, but he couldn't deny that when it came to Ewing Oil, JR was the one he had originally worked so hard for. He wanted his son, his namesake, to have a real, solid legacy when he became an adult and throughout JR's childhood, teenage years and adulthood, he had worked on doing just that and now that JR had a son of his own to pass it on to when he retired, he knew all of his past actions were worth it.

"Yes daddy", nodding and agreeing to the proposed plan, JR found himself content and actually rather pleased with the way everything was working out; he had a son, a company and a wife and he couldn't have been happier. He didn't necessarily agree with or like Doctor Krane, but he knew that she genuinely wanted Sue Ellen to be happy and healthy and if allowing and encouraging her to see the recommended shrink to help her overcome her issues was what was going to help her and their relationship in the long run, then he could deal with that. He wasn't thrilled at the prospect of some stranger hearing and analysing all the details of their marriage, especially the intimate ones, however, if he sensed right, Doctor Krane already knew all of those things and despite the fact that she had a low opinion of him, she had treated him professionally and politely during their few short meetings. He would never meet Sue Ellen's new therapist and even if he did, he could deal with not being liked, there were a lot of people in Texas that didn't particularly like him and he was used to that. So, if she needed to confidentially tell someone about her/their problems in order to move forward with her life, then it was worth sacrificing a little privacy. It thrilled him to see and feel how happy they were as a family of three and he really wanted them to have a good life together for years to come; unfortunately though, there were a few dark spots in their marriage and they were things that despite trying, he wasn't equipped to deal with by himself. Therapy wasn't something he would ever consider for himself and prior to his wife's referral, he had assumed it was for crazy people, however, he was willing to try to be more open and accepting, for Sue Ellen and John Ross. He was a firm believer in the idea that oftentimes the steps toward getting a good result were irrelevant as long as the end result was what he wanted; it worked in business, he wasn't exactly known for following the rules, and if it worked in business, then he assumed it would also apply to personal problems too. As long as he had a happy, healthy wife and son at the end of her slight struggle, then he would stay quiet about his personal opinion on the whole area of psychiatry and allow her to do what she needed to do.

To be continued…