Chapter Five

"What if something happens to our baby, Martin?" I said after a few moments in Martin's arms. I sniffed and tried to hold back the tears. "I don't think I can do this…"

"Shh," he answered gently. "First thing in the morning, I am going to research obstetricians who handle high risk pregnancies. I know of several in the area who are very good. I will see to it that you and the baby have the best care available. We will take every precaution."

"And what about you? Are you okay with this? I know it's a surprise and I know you weren't very keen on…"

"It is a surprise, yes," he interrupted quietly. "But I know you will be a lovely mother. As for myself...I suppose that remains to be seen. I don't want to make the same mistakes as my own father. I would very much like it if you would help me become a better father than he was."

Martin had told me of some of the cruelties he had endured as a child. He was beaten with belts. He was locked in the cupboard under the stairs when he had done something his mother had deemed "bad." He was practically abandoned at boarding school when he was far too young to be away from home alone. My heart ached for that little boy that had never been given a chance of a normal childhood.

I cupped his cheek with my hand. "You are nothing like him, Martin. You are a good man with a good heart and the capacity to love and nurture, which are all things he lacks. You are going to be wonderful, I know you are." When I smiled up at him, he kissed me, and I began to feel the fear subside a little. This was nothing like the last time. I wasn't going to be alone; I would have him with me, and together we would get through whatever this pregnancy had in store.

It was getting cold. After a few more minutes, we made our way back down the hill, hand in hand. "We should really tell Joan right away, don't you think?" I said. "I don't want her to accidentally hear it through the grapevine."

"That would infer we are going to be telling everyone else immediately," Martin answered dubiously.

"Hmm…well, I think I do want to keep it a bit of a secret for a while, just in case…" I trailed off. I didn't want to finish the thought, but Martin understood what I meant.

"I really don't think we have anything to worry about…but yes, maybe we could keep it between us for a bit."

"Us and Joan."

He sighed. "Yes, I suppose so. Would you like me to take you over to the farm now?" Martin offered. I squeezed his hand and smiled up at him.

"Yes, please, if you wouldn't mind."

"Mmm."

A little while later, Martin parked the Lexus in front of the farmhouse, and Joan met us at the door.

"What are you two doing here? Anna, I thought you weren't feeling well?" she asked, confused. Martin and I looked at each other, and he had that soft look in his eyes that was very much like smiling. She ushered us into the kitchen, where she was cooking something that smelled delicious. I was starving again.

"I feel better at the moment. And we have some…news," I told her, lifting the lid on one of the pots on the stove and breathing deeply. Chicken soup, yum. "This smells amazing."

"Have some if you like, there's plenty. Martin, you too. Now, what's your news?" She took some bowls down from the cabinet and put them on the table. Joan is usually very astute, and can put two and two together like no other person I knew, but this time I could tell she had absolutely no inkling as to what I was about to tell her.

"Well…" I looked at Martin again, and he nodded. "It seems your nephew has gone and gotten me pregnant." Joan's mouth dropped open, and the handful of spoons she was holding hit the floor in a loud clatter.

"Pregnant?!" she squeaked, looking between the two of us incredulously. I nodded, laughing, and Martin blushed. She stood that way for a few seconds, mouth agape, and then suddenly grabbed me into a crushing hug. "Oh, this is wonderful news! Congratulations!" When she was finished with me, she hugged Martin just as hard. He looked a bit embarrassed, but I could tell he was pleased.

"How far along are you? When are you due? Oh, you have to tell me everything!" Joan exclaimed as we sat down to our impromptu dinner. "I should have known something was going on, since you seemed to have made a miraculous recovery from your illness today."

"Yes, the funny tummy was one reason I decided to take the test today. I knew it wasn't normal to be throwing up one minute eating everything in the refrigerator the next," I laughed.

"We won't know how far the pregnancy has progressed until we make an appointment to see a doctor, and of course we need to find one that specializes in high risk pregnancies," Martin added.

Joan seemed to remember then that this wasn't the first time I had been pregnant, and she looked at us worriedly. "Oh…of course. Do you think that is warranted this time, Martin?"

"Anna is very healthy, and there is no reason to assume that there will be complications, but we want to make sure we do everything possible to assure that she and the baby stay safe and in good health throughout," he told her.

"That's why we want to keep the news under wraps for a while," I said. "Just in case. We will know more soon, and I will find out when the baby is due. Then we can go from there."

Joan nodded. "Well, no need to worry about me…my lips are sealed. I'm just thrilled you told me."

I reached over and squeezed her hand. "Of course we couldn't keep this from you, you are our family!" I could see there were tears in her eyes.

"Well, I appreciate it. And you know how much I love you both…and the baby too."

I smiled. "We love you too. Now the next thing we'll have to figure out is what the baby will call you. We could keep Aunty Joan, of course…but what would you say to being called 'Nana'?"