Been a while, heh? Man, this cold though haha. The gently falling snow reminds me of Ayanami sometimes: a dazzling & breathtaking appearance but mercilessly cold—freakin love it. Hm…that gives me a really nice idea though: drawing Aya and Mika in the snow (*-*)

Disclaimer in first chapter.

Chapter 31:

"Where do you think you're going?"

Frankly, the teen didn't know so himself—his legs had moved on their own.

"... do you fear me now?" Were the next words from Ayanami's mouth as he held the blond in place. Mikage couldn't answer that one either. It was like his brain just shut down suddenly. After what seemed like hours of silence, Ayanami contemplated if it was about time to be truly honest with the other. He didn't want to see that lost expression on his lover. Even if he had the ability to forever imprison him, he didn't want the teen to hate him. "...back then, I never really understood the true meaning of love. Unbeknownst to what I was feeling, to me, it seemed plausible that the only way I could love a person and hold that love, was to kill them. My fondness for them would be so strong, I wouldn't know what to do beside extinguishing their soul with my own hands and assuring that they would forever live within me." He explained, successfully grabbing the other's attention. After all, it wasn't every day the other was being so open, so the teen thought. "That way their souls belonged entirely to me. The first I ever felt the urge to carry this out was on my mother, during my early teens. It wasn't until I met Yukikaze that I discovered a different peace. One that taught me to savor and protect the moment instead."

Mikage noted that name. If he admired him so much, then why was he so reluctant to bring his name up last time? That was when Hyuuga's words came into his mind. 'There was one person Aya-tan loved…' "Did you love him?" The teen blurted.

"Love? Perhaps? I merely know that I've never felt so peaceful than in his company."

The blond looked slightly depressed. There was someone Ayanami actually held at such high regards even after obsessing over him so much. Even so, Mikage felt much better after hearing the elder tell confess his true feelings to him. Of course, there were things of the past he was powerless against, but could he believe that Ayanami was different from his past self? He had a strong feeling he was. As much as he couldn't swallow the truth about Ayanami's heartless actions, he decided not to regret knowing about them and was convinced this was the right time to start over again— if anything.

"Mikage-kun," The silverette observed his silence and leaned closer to desperately love him. However, when the blond snapped out of his intuitions, he averted his face to the ground with a troubled expression. 'He couldn't do it. He was out to make this work for both of them but in the end, after taking in all that, he didn't have the confidence anymore.'

"Ayanami-san…I don't want to…" The younger uttered in a dreadful, low voice. His expression contorted and appeared just as perturbed as the other's was. In a perfect world, the chief would have stretched his arm, gripped the lithe shoulder and yanked the younger in his direction to question him aggressively. However, he refrained. It took him every ounce of his strength to hold himself back despite having just found the younger after a whole week. Ayanami balled a fist on his knee, waiting patiently for the younger to explain himself.

"Why not?" Ayanami mouthed when he heard no further elucidation from the blond.

"I…don't know—I'm sorry…I'm…just so confused with myself…" Miakge was apparently rejecting the idea of staying with him.

'What the heck can you possibly be irresolute about? I literally poured my soul out to you.' The silverette felt like shouting. 'No, he couldn't do anything that would cause the younger to leave again.' Hopefully he learned his lesson once. At that point, Ayanami had to get up. Was it not hard enough for him to control the urge to ravish the blond right then and there, yet he was forced to endure the other's wavering emotions as well?

That was the last time the two exchanged any syllables as the silverette locked himself in his work study room shortly after.

…

'Calm down.' Ayanami chanted. 'Mikage was his, nothing would change that. Other than in his arms, Mikage had no where to go, no where to be. All his things, his scent, his existence belonged here and bluntly, was here already. If the teen was so called 'confused' with his feeling, then the answer was simple: He just had to make the blond fall for him again.'

In their Bedroom:

Mikage lay on their king size bed alone, physically there but mentally in another dimension. There room was so spacious, he cared to notice before sighing to himself. 'What was he thinking about? As if he could think about such insignificant things right now.' The blond dug both hands into his hair and shook them vigorously almost trying to clear his mind. He thought he would accept Ayanami after he knew the entire story, but he was having such an impossible time coping with the other's distant long-forgotten past. 'He killed his parents…' There was something so unsettling about that. Royalty always operated differently, everyone acknowledged that. So, maybe he could be slightly more forgiving towards his lover? After all, he couldn't blame Ayanami for his upbringing…

'Come on man, he said he still loves you. If you push him, he might even be ready to change for you.' A voice from within pressured. 'From what you've heard, hasn't he already changed from what he originally was?' the blond silently devoted some thought to that.

The Next Morning

The teen didn't realize when he fell asleep until there were knocks on his door and Ayanami entered. Mikage jerked himself awake, shortly after noticing he had literally fallen asleep in the same position he was lying down yesterday and with the same clothes on. It almost pained the elder to see his lover in such a state, but he let that expression fall off his face before the younger could catch it.

"Get ready. We're leaving for work—being a Black Hawks member doesn't allow you many holidays." The silverette pushed everything aside and stated coldly.

"Uh, uhm." Mikage sluggishly nodded and shoved himself off the bed, towards the bathroom.

"I'll be waiting outside." Ayanami announced as the other made his way past him. Once again, the blond silently nodded and both awkwardly parted ways. The blond hurriedly fixed his bed head, changed into his uniform and grabbed a toast in his mouth. That's all he had time for—he had totally forgotten about his duties to the army.

He met Ayanami outside, standing by the car, and upon spotting him the elder curved around the car to the other passenger door to sit himself inside. Mikage opened the nearest passenger door and took a seat as well, waiting for the driver to ignite the engine. 'This is going to be awkward…' The blond couldn't help but think as he stole a sidelong glance towards Ayanami who was already staring outside the window. His eyes dropped back to the car mats beneath them. 'This wasn't so comfortable after all.' He depressed. 'Well whose fault is that?' The teen blamed himself before a gentle hand coated over his. Mikage swerved his head towards the silverette who still refused to look away from the window but clearly had his hand resting over the blond's. And the blond permitted that for a change.

…

"Mika-chan! Where were ya?! We were worried sick! How could ya do this to us—did ya have any idea what Aya-tan's face looked like the entire time ya were gone? Man, so scary! Please don't ever do that to us again." Hyuuga squeezed the younger until it nearly choked him.

"Haha, 'm sorry Hyuuga-san, now …please let go…you're killin' me…" Mikage managed to speak out as his face was muffled in the other's uniform. With that, the lieutenant finally released him and straightened his outfit.

"Okay! I'm glad that's out of the way."

"I see. Well, it was nice seeing you again—I really am sorry if my absence caused too many trouble for you guys, I didn't mean to." The teen rubbed his elbow in sincerity. "Um, so, I think I have a bunch of work to catch up on then…if you'll excuse me—"

"Ah! Wait Mika-chan." Hyuuga caught his arm to prevent him from leaving too quickly and glanced at his surroundings before saying: "Truthfully, I'm not aware of the full story or what's going on between ya two but if you ever want anyone to talk to, I'm here." Mikage gazed at the brunette in awe, but mostly touched.

"Thanks, Hyuuga-san." The blond smiled gratefully. He didn't know how much of his secrets he could share with him, but nonetheless he appreciated the support.

"Well, see ya around." The brunette half turned. "Oh yeah. Hey Mika-chan? In all seriousness please don't ever disappear again. Aya-tan is nothing like he was the first time you met him—he will just die if you aren't there." Again, the lieutenant had been successful in bewildering him.

'Was he that bad without him?' The blond wondered.

At Lunch:

Mikage decided to head to the cafeteria. The idea of eating with Ayanami still didn't settle casually in his mind so he walked in the cafeteria and glimpsed around for any open spots. 'Yup, it really felt like he was back.'

"Mind if I sit here?" The teen asked a short haired blond who was sitting alone. "Shuri?"

"Huh? Mikage—great, sure whatever."

"So, what's up? Why are you sitting alone?" Mikage asked his childhood friend…acquaintance(?). Their relationship never had any tags, after all Mikage and his family practically lived in Shuri's manor and served them.

"Oi, don't think I was ditched or anything. I just felt like it."

Mikage laughed. "Aren't you glad I dropped by then?"

"Think whatever you want." Shuri harmlessly mumbled. There was a pause accompanied after that while they ate their lunch. "So…when do you plan on coming back home?"

"Hn? Oh yeah, you asked that once before too. Um, I'm really not sure…"

"Why not?"

Mikage knitted his brows in distress. "I don't know…I just started working for the Black Hawks so I'm really busy most of the times." He lied.

"I see, I'll be sure to pass that on."

"Huh? To who?"

"Your aniki, who else? Why do you think I was asking in the first place—he talks about nothing but you sometimes, its really frustrating even when he's with me." Shuri complained. Mikage felt like laughing again. Wow to think he and Shuri would be having such a heart to heart conversation like this.

"Okay, I'll try to give him a call or something—I know, I feel so spoiled for not talking or visiting them for such a long time." The teen referred to his family. "…Ne Shuuri, is it okay if I ask you something?"

"Must be desperate if you're askin' me."

"Something like that. Well…how do I put it…? What would you do if you found out about your lover's …let's say, not so appreciable past…how would you react to that…?" Anyone would do, he just needed to talk it out and gain another perspective.

"You're dating someone!" Shuri impulsively yelled out instead, slamming his hands on the table.

"You—! Shhh! It's not like that!" Mikage immediately sat him back down. "Anyway, answer the question."

"What the hell—its so obvious. So, what if they had a messed-up past? You're dating the current them, no? And why dwell on the past—isn't it over anyways?" Shuri expressed in a bluntly obvious way. "Not everyone has a past they wanna share you know, if they had such a traumatic past yet still told you, shouldn't you consider yourself loved?"

Shuri's minute words were like magic. They hit Mikage's conscious like meteors hitting the Earth. While it's true he didn't take them for face-value and internally gave them a thought, but even so he still couldn't deny the truth behind them.

"You're right. Maybe forgiving and believing is the right answer." Mikage's lips tugged upwards. 'But there's a limit to that too.' The other blond nodded. "Wow, I never thought you'd be one to give love advice though—I'm impressed Shuri!" Shuri fought back a blush when he heard that and instantly protested.

Well Shuri couldn't help it either, after all he also had someone he secretly cared for…

…

"The students will be taking their exam today. Their opponent is the largest prisoner we have here." Katsuragi highlighted.

"Okay." Ayanami followed. 'The exam…wasn't that how he saw Mikage the first time? To recall that time from their time now—that felt like ages ago, and they had come such a long way from there too. Yet it seemed like suddenly they were on square one again.'

"Though they might need some assistance incase things get out of hand…" Katsuragi added. Ayanami gave it thought instantly. 'Someone to go in there and fight that creature…'

"Send Mikage." The brunette was appalled to hear the chief suggest that.

"Pardon my frankness, but do you not agree that the prisoner might be…over Mikage-kun's league?"

"It's fine. However, I'm giving you the orders to intervene, should his back hit the ground." Ayanami emphasized with glowering eyes, making sure his point went across—after all he was taking a huge risk here putting Mikage through that in the first place.

'It was inevitable though.' The way things were between them currently, it was difficult to approach the blond. Albeit…if the younger were to get injured, it would incredulously open up a door for him and allow him to redeem himself.

"I understand." Katsuragi left the office.

…

Mikage, Katsuragi as well as a few other instructors stood outside the exam chambers and observed the students failing incompetently against the prisoner who was practically mopping the floor with them.

"Really…I think we were a bit better than that." Mikage scratched his nape in subtle disappointment. "This is no good, Katsuragi-san I'm going to enter, okay?" The brunette nodded in approval.

The blond opened the door and hoped in. "Okay kids—watch and learn." He positioned himself towards the humongous prisoner.

"Another one? Tha's great fer me! More sentence lowered!" He rejoiced, trying to pick the teen with his bare hands. Mikage jumped away and bounced off the closest wall, afloating in sky. At the same time, he summoned his zaiphon and aimed it at the prisoner, successfully hitting him.

'Didn't do too much damage, huh?' Mikage noted as he landed back on the ground on his feet. 'I'll use a stronger one next time.'

…

And that strategy continued in repeat for the next thirty-five minutes before the blond was beginning to lose stamina. The teen wiped the sweat dripping from his chin with the back of his hand and surveyed his giant friend one more time. 'Damn…this guy's strong…and he's not even tired yet!'

"Why don ya just give up, kid?" The prisoner chuckled.

"In your dreams!" Mikage charged forward again with a few punches at one time. The giant simply swatted him away like a fly, throwing him into the wall and having him drop on to the ground face forward. 'Shit…' The blond cursed under his breath. 'No, he had to get up. He was a Black Hawks member now, not to mention their leader's begleiter. Moreover, if Ayanami saw him like this, it'd be a disgrace.' The younger struggled to lift himself up on a knee. However, before he could fully stand, the prisoner slammed his palm down on the other, grinding him back on to the floor—on his back—as he applied irresistible pressure.

The blond immediately groaned in pain, too strangled to realize how big the hand was that it capped his entire body. 'Back against the ground…' Katsuragi noted and shot his zaiphon through the air without so much as a second thought. His zaiphon whipped past the prisoner's forearm and literally sliced that portion off. Mikage coughed in recovery as the exam was called to an end and the prisoner was sealed away again, screaming in pain.

"Mikage-kun, are you alright—you did wel—Mikage-kun?" Katsuragi advanced towards the younger but stopped two feet away from him when he saw a stream of liquid roll down the other's cheek.

"What am I going to do if Ayanami-san finds out about this? I failed everyone…" His voice was full of remorse. The elder brunette felt his heart ache for a brief moment before he thought: 'Ayanami-sama, this was very unfair of you.'

…

"Just a few broken ribs, I highly urge you to take it easy for the next couple of weeks. Yes?" The doctor explained as he finished wrapping the bandages over the teen's chest.

"Yes doctor, I understand." Mikage gently pulled his white shirt on from the sleeves first.

"Well anyhow, I must be on my way. I gave you the painkillers lest you need them." He stood up with his kit. "It also appears you have a visitor." The blond looked up questioningly as he hooked one of his buttons. As if on cue, the door opened and Ayanami gracefully stepped in.

To Be Continued…

Haha I just keep writing and writing, and yet we end off with a bit of a cliffe again. Sigh. Aya-tan totally has a unique way of making up I see—haha man to take such a risk, I can't tell if he loves him or just isn't thinking and is so fixating on having Mikage smile in his arms again despite the means. Well, the end does justify the mean I guess…(I kinda always believed in that) but I don't know if that counts toying with a real person's emotions. Either way! Who cares! As long as you guys enjoy the story.

Thanks for waiting patiently for the story to unravel and please review!