Chapter 5: Haruhiko and Sora
Haruhiko had agreed to spend the summer of 2003 with his family. During his first day in their apartment, he noticed how Sora and Toshiko excitedly whispered about something and stopped talking whenever he approached them. At night, he asked his wife what was going on and Toshiko mysteriously replied:
"Wait until tomorrow. Sora has a surprise for you!"
The next day, during breakfast, Sora nervously asked her father:
"Could you come to the Mall with me today?"
"Oh, sure... is there something you want to buy?" Haruhiko asked.
"Not really, I just..." Sora hesitated.
"She wants to spend a special day with her father," Toshiko explained, smiling. "You two barely see each other. It'd be nice for you two to spend some quality time together."
"Oh..." Haruhiko muttered, feeling a little guilty. Then, he put enthusiasm in his voice and added: "That's a lovely idea!"
Sora beamed at his reply and he smiled as well.
They took the bus to the Mall. It was a hot morning, but Haruhiko chose to wear brown social pants and a long sleeved white shirt with buttons. Sora was wearing jeans and a red shirt with short sleeves. Instead of a hat, she had a clip on her hair.
She's so different now... how much of her life have I missed? Haruhiko wondered while looking at her. Sitting by his side, Sora was paying attention to the window of the bus.
"It's hot now, but I think it'll rain later," she informed. "There are some black clouds in the sky. We should've brought an umbrella."
"Rain..." Haruhiko murmured. Sad memories passed through his mind.
"Sorry..." Sora said, turning to him. She had a concerned and guilty look. "I didn't intend to make you think about Aunt Ame..."
"You know about her?"
"Mom told me."
"What did she tell you?"
"That she was your younger sister and that she died... and that you don't like to talk about her because it's too painful for you..."
"It's true that it makes me sad to think about her..." Haruhiko said "... but it doesn't feel right that all you know about her is that she's my dead sister. She was so much more than just that..."
Sora looked at him without saying anything. Haruhiko could tell that she wanted to know more but was afraid of asking.
"Ame was an assistant professor in Tokyo U... she was in the Physics Department..." Haruhiko told his daughter. "Since she was little, Ame wanted to be a scientist... she even practiced doing evil laughs because she thought that was necessary to being a scientist. She never really stopped doing that."
Sora giggled.
"She never really cared about dating as she grew up. I actually settled for the idea that she would never fall in love," Haruhiko continued. "Then, she met a Math professor at work who was almost as nerdy as she was. He was also even more awkward than her, but shared her passion for science and her excitement over everything. Ame had finally met someone who understood her... I don't think she had ever been happier..."
"Did she and the Math professor date?" Sora asked.
"It's a funny story... she told me that, after a couple of weeks of knowing each other, they stayed awake an entire night discussing some theory that... to be honest, I don't remember what it was about... anyway, they talked about it the whole night! By the time the sun was up, she looked straight into his eyes and told him: 'I think I love you! Let's get married!'"
"No way!" Sora exclaimed, excitedly.
"I know, right?" Haruhiko smirked. "She was crazy! But Shunsui was as crazy as she was! They got married the next weekend! Oh, Sora, your mother's reaction to the news was priceless! She insisted they had to have a big traditional wedding and put it upon herself to organize the whole thing! And since Toshiko-san is the most amazing person in the world, she pulled it off! The Yukimura-Fuyokawa wedding even made it to the news back then, mostly because of the prestige of the organizer, I believe. It was a beautiful ceremony..."
Haruhiko noticed that Sora was smiling at him.
"What is it?" He asked.
"All this time, I thought it'd be too painful for you to talk about her... but you seem really happy, Dad! You seem so happy!"
"Do I?" Haruhiko asked, surprised. "Maybe I should tell you more about her, then..."
"I'd like to hear more. Aunt Ame had a lot of initiative when it came to romance!"
"According to her, she knew what she wanted and went through with it."
"I understand the feeling..." Sora said, blushing. "I don't know if Mom told you... last Christmas I confessed to a boy. We're dating now."
"She mentioned that. The groceries' boy, right?" Haruhiko teased.
"H-His name is Yamato-kun! Ishida Yamato-kun!" Sora said, blushing more.
"I know," Haruhiko told her. "Is he good to you?"
"Yes! He's the best!" Sora replied, showing an even bigger smile.
"If he's good to you and makes you happy, I'll support your relationship," Haruhiko assured her.
"Thanks! That means a lot to me!"
Once they arrived at the Mall, Sora insisted that they should go to an ice-cream shop that she always visited with her friends. Haruhiko agreed. As they entered the place, a familiar voice called Sora:
"Hey, Sora! Over here!"
"It's Taichi!" Sora said, going to the table from where Taichi waved to her.
"Hello, Taichi-kun! It's been a while, how have you been?" Haruhiko greeted.
"Nice to see you again! I'm doing great! How about you?" Taichi greeted back.
"I'm doing fine, thank you for asking," Haruhiko replied.
"Did you come here alone, Taichi?" Sora asked, unceremoniously taking a seat across from the boy. Haruhiko followed her and sat beside his daughter.
"Of course not!" Taichi said. "I came with... oh, there he is! Koushiro! I took a table for us!"
That name made Haruhiko feel as if his stomach had dropped. A boy with red hair, wearing a bright orange shirt and brown shorts, came to his side.
"Hello, Sora-san!" Koushiro greeted.
"Hello, Koushiro-kun!" Sora greeted back. "This is my father! His name is Takenouchi Haruhiko."
"Nice to meet you, sir!" Koushiro said, bowing slightly. "My name is Izumi Koushiro!"
Paralyzed, Haruhiko merely stared at Koushiro. That boy's hair, his face, his smile... he looked so much like Ame... he was right there... standing by his side... his nephew...
"Is everything alright, sir?" Koushiro asked, worried.
"Dad, are you feeling ill?" Sora questioned, concerned.
"I-I'm okay..." Haruhiko replied, turning his gaze to the table. "I-It's nice to meet you too..."
Without looking directly at him, Haruhiko noticed when Koushiro sat next to Taichi. The children began to talk about the flavors of ice-creams they wanted. Haruhiko, on the other hand, could only think about the past.
"He's Ame-san's child! Your nephew!"
"I can't, Toshiko-san... those other relatives... they can take care of him!"
"But you're his uncle! Your sister would want you to take care of him!"
"I can't... he reminds me so much of her already... it'll only get worse as he grows up... I'll never stop seeing her in him..."
"It's not about you! It's about what's best for Koushiro!"
"I can't do this!"
"Dad?!" Sora called him. "Are you crying? What happened?"
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I can't... I'm sorry..." Haruhiko mumbled, getting up.
"You can't... have ice-cream...?" Taichi asked, confused.
Haruhiko left the table in a hurry. Feeling dizzy, he looked for the exit of the shop.
"Dad, wait!" Sora said, getting up as well.
"We'll go with you!" Taichi offered.
"No, please! This is a family situation, I'll handle it!" Sora asked.
After leaving the shop, Haruhiko found a bench and sat on it. He had difficulty to breathe.
"Dad?" Sora called him, gently, sitting by his side and putting one of her hands over his.
"I'm terrible... I'm awful... I'm such a selfish and horrible person... I'm sorry..." Haruhiko continued to mumble.
"I don't understand, why are you saying these things?" Sora had concern in her voice.
"I knew what Ame would've wanted and I couldn't... because I'm weak... I couldn't do what she wanted me to... I failed her... I failed my family... I'm a horrible brother... I'm a horrible..."
"That's not true! Please, don't say that!" Sora pleaded.
"It's true! You don't know what I did! If you knew, you'd hate me!" Haruhiko insisted.
"I'd never hate you! Don't be ridiculous!" Sora protested.
Haruhiko stayed quiet for a couple of minutes.
"We can go home," Sora suggested.
"I can go home by myself... you should stay here and enjoy the rest of your day..." Haruhiko told her.
"But I want to be with you!" Sora insisted.
"Sora, I don't want to be with anyone right now! I need some space, please!" Haruhiko nearly yelled.
His daughter had a shocked look on her face and small tears appeared on the corners of her eyes. Haruhiko felt terrible for what he had done, but couldn't bring himself to stay with her.
"I'm sorry... I have to go... I'm sorry..."
He left Sora alone on the bench, without looking back.