Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS.
Ziva felt herself wake up. Out of sheer habit, she still woke up early and for the past three years, always had one ear out for any sound of danger. Ziva attempted to roll over in bed but found her path blocked by Tali's sleeping body.
Two weeks had passed since Ziva's reunion with Tony and Tali and it had been an interesting two weeks. After five days of pulling out the sofa bed every night and putting it away every morning, Ziva began to share Tony's bed, slightly out of convenience. Deep, deep down it was something that they both wanted and were aiming for.
For the past two weeks, Tali had ended up in bed with Ziva since she had arrived, except the very first night. During the first night, Tony and Ziva were woken by Tali's cries. She had a bad dream and became angry when she saw Ziva.
'Why did you leave?' wailed Tali to Ziva, whilst Tony tried to calm her down.
Eventually, Tali stopped crying and slept in Tony's bed that night. Ziva spent the night and the next day dealing with overwhelming guilt. However, it subsided a bit when Ziva found Tali curled up in bed with her the next morning. Tali preceded to follow Ziva around the apartment, sitting outside the bathroom when Ziva used it, or if Ziva left the apartment, waited with baited breath by the front door until she saw her Ima again.
Tony found himself reassuring Tali that Ima was not going to leave and reminding Ziva that even though things were difficult now, they were going to get better. When he and Ziva started sharing the bed, Tony really enjoyed those early mornings with Tali in bed with them. For so long the idea of having his girls with him had been a dream he daren't think about. Now it was reality.
Today was Monday and one of Tony's workdays. When he and Tali first moved to Paris, Tony took an intensive French language course and after living in Paris for three years, he was practically fluent, as was Tali. Tony had been able to find work as a consultant for a private security firm that worked with NGOs in the world's most dangerous countries. On Mondays, Tony worked slightly longer hours and always took Friday off work. In the past, Tali would spend Monday with Clara the nanny.
Ziva had been apprehensive about meeting Clara. How much did she know? What was she going to be like? What about Tali's relationship with her? Clara, it turned out, was a twenty-eight year old British woman who moved to Paris four years ago, after surviving breast cancer.
'It was caught early and the treatment worked' explained Clara. 'But it was one of those life wake-up calls. I took out my savings and moved to Paris. I have two flatmates and just about make ends meet. I maybe not be here forever, but at the moment, I live in Paris.' Ziva smiled. She liked Clara's attitude towards life. Alongside being Tali's nanny, Clara taught boxing, was a private English tutor and babysat for other families. Clara was also Jewish, something that Tony didn't find out until he hired her.
'I see it as a silver lining' he said. 'I wanted to teach Tali about her heritage but had no idea where to start when it came to Judaism. Clara was able to give me several pointers in the right direction.'
Ziva had been moved when Tony told her this. After Cairo, they had hoped and to some extent, assumed that the separation would only be a few months. However, as it dragged on and on, Tony started to mentally prepare for the rest of his life without Ziva.
Tony, Ziva and Tali got up and started their Monday morning. Breakfast, shower, dressed. Tony sat down to start work just as Clara arrived to take Tali to school.
'Bye Daddy' said Tali, hugging Tony.
'Bye, bye, T' said Tony. 'Be good and have fun.' Tali went over to Clara and turned to Ziva.
'Come on Ima. Let's go to school.'
Ziva smiled and took Tali's hand. The idea of Ziva going to school with Tali and Clara had been suggested the week before. Ziva would have gladly done it from day one, but Tony wanted Tali to settle back into school after the holidays, which did make sense when Ziva thought about it. It was just more waiting and she was tired of waiting.
Tali, Ziva and Clara walked into the schoolyard. Tali spotted her friends and ran over to them. Ziva noticed that whilst she and Clara waited for the teacher to come, a lot of the other parents stared at her. She wasn't surprised really but Ziva was glad when the doors opened and the teachers came to collect their pupils.
'Bye Ima. Bye Clara' said Tali, waving.
'Bye Tali' said the women together. They turned to leave.
'What are you doing now?' asked Ziva to Clara.
'Um, I'm teaching a class in an hour. You?'
'I do not know yet' replied Ziva.
'Want to learn how to box? You'll be more than welcome.' Ziva smiled.
'Maybe another time.' The two women parted ways.
Ziva did actually have plans that day. She had her first therapy session with Dr. Leroux. Only Tony knew about it because Ziva didn't know if this would become a regular thing. She had found Dr. Leroux though several of Ducky and Jack Sloane's contacts and colleagues and the first appointment was booked sooner than Ziva thought it would be. Today's session didn't start until 10.30 am, but Ziva decided to take the opportunity and walk to her appointment, which was not near Tony's apartment. Perhaps this was the start of a new routine.
Ziva walked down the street, back towards the apartment. She had just finished her very first therapy session with Dr Constance Leroux. It had been a difficult two hours. Ziva's instincts fought against her wanting to talk, but by the end of it, Leroux and Ziva had come to a good understanding.
Leroux was very open with Ziva, which she liked. Leroux was working with the preliminary diagnosis that Ziva was suffering from PTSD, depression, and anxiety. Ziva knew about the anxiety already and deep down, PTSD and depression were not a surprise either. The three went hand-in-hand to some extent. Leroux had prescribed proper medication for Ziva and they had agreed on two appointments a week. Whilst a lot of the appointment had involved admin and the obligatory 'getting to know you' feeling, Ziva walked away feeling like this was the right step.
It was almost one o'clock and Ziva was feeling a little hungry. Spotting a bakery across the road, she nipped in and got a croissant for herself along with pastries for Tony, Tali, and Clara. Ziva continued to walk home, eating her croissant and simply enjoying being in Paris.
She loved this city so much.
A little way down the road was a book store. Ziva went in. It had been so long since she had been able to enjoy reading. Within ten minutes, her arms were full of books she wanted to read. She continued to look around the store when she noticed a section filled with stationery. Wandering over, Ziva picked up a notebook. It had a black leather-like cover. It reminded Ziva of her old journals.
Journaling had been something she inherited from her mother. Rivka always had a journal next to her bed. Ziva had found it so useful when dealing with things at work, whether it was Mossad or NCIS. She could take the thoughts out of her head, put them on paper, and keep her mind clear.
Ziva placed the journal on top of the books and left the store with two shopping bags. Tony was interested in seeing what Ziva had been up to when she got back to the apartment.
'Went on a shopping spree?' he asked, jokingly.
'No, it is… I did not have the opportunity to read very much in the past three years. I will not make it a habit.' Tony chuckled as he pulled out the journal.
'You going to start writing again?' Ziva shrugged her shoulders.
'Maybe. I know it would be good for me.'
'But knowing and doing are two different things' said Tony. Ziva nodded.
'There is one thing I want to do. Or not do actually' said Ziva.
'Oh yeah, what's that?'
'If we can afford it, I do not want to get a job, or at least not one right away.'
'You'll do what?'
'Be Tali's Ima' said Ziva. She sounded like she was close to tears. Tony looked at her and smiled.
'We can afford it, Ziva. Do not worry about money.'
'I mean it, Tony. If we need the money, I can-' began Ziva, but Tony cut her off.
'No Ziva. We are fine. I can explain the finances another time, but you do not need to get a job. Be Tali's Ima. That is your job now.'
Hope you enjoyed it.
Originally this was going to be one-shots in no particular order but as I get ideas, I realised they needed to be in chronological order.
This chapter mentions PTSD, depression, anxiety, medication, and therapy. I suffer from anxiety but have not had therapy or medication. I hope what I wrote it right. If you do struggle with mental health, you are not alone.
Thank you for reading. See you soon.