Dallas, Texas

"YOU BASTARD!" angry and ready for confrontation, Sue Ellen didn't even think before her hand made contact with JR's face, leaving him with no question as to how she felt, though the fact that she had just walked into his office and started screaming at him did leave him a little confused about what she was actually reacting to. As far as he was aware, his situation with Cynthia was not on her radar and if she didn't explicitly describe what it was that she was angry with him for, he wasn't going to start admitting things, he wasn't stupid, he wouldn't accidentally incriminate himself. "Darlin'?" rubbing his face, in an effort to not reciprocate her anger and hopefully bring her back down to a calmer level of emotion, he spoke more softly than he normally would after such an action, and seeing her eyes soften toward him, he knew it had worked. However, it didn't really make him feel any better, because it soon became clear to him that her anger was borne out of upset and sadness, not irrational female emotion, and as she spoke, he knew that all of his efforts to protect her had been in vain, because she knew now, and she was hurt.

Looking her husband in the eye, Sue Ellen spoke, at a more normal level this time, "how could you?" now feeling more betrayed and upset than angry, she found it hard to look at him, but she did, because she needed him to understand how she felt and how responsible he was for her feelings. "How could you do this to me? To your son?" she wanted John Ross to have siblings one day, but she wanted them to be her and JR's children, not his illegitimate half-brother or sister. Was it selfish to still think that way now that there was the possibility that a John Ross did have a half-brother? Perhaps, but she didn't care too much, she had the right to feel that way, even if it was selfish; JR was her husband and the father of her son, and to want the best for their little family wasn't a bad thing. She hated the idea of sharing JR, of John Ross having to share JR or Ewing Oil and she absolutely hated the idea of having to deal with another woman in their lives; it wasn't fair and it wasn't right, she wanted their lives to be happy and normal, not full of drama because JR couldn't control himself. Sighing, she then made her other, more personal feelings known, "how could you hide it from me? I thought we had moved past the secrets and lies. I thought I could trust you… I really did, but I'm not sure anymore. How can I trust you when you clearly don't trust me?" It was confusing, she didn't know whether to act on her anger or her upset, because she felt both and she wanted him to understand that she felt both, but it also seemed misplaced and pointless to start shouting at him again. What good were raised voices now? His infidelity was no longer a past mistake, it had had very real consequences and they were dealing with them, whether they wanted to or not, and although that made her angry and upset, she was also able to see that raised voices probably wouldn't get them very far, though it did feel a little satisfying in the moment.

Lost for words, JR didn't know how to respond. It was now clear that somehow, she knew about his situation and she was not happy about it and honestly, he couldn't fault her for feeling that way, he understood exactly why she was upset. He was pretty mad at himself for allowing himself to get into such a situation, as well as mad at himself for being a terrible husband in the past, because she didn't deserve to be treated that way and he would always regret the way he had acted during the first part of their marriage. Unfortunately though, regretting and being apologetic about the past wasn't enough right now and until they got the test results back, there was more to their reality they had to deal with. Being in such a situation, he really wished that he could have her on his side to support him, though realistically he knew that support was probably the last thing she was willing to give him right now. He knew he had messed up by not telling her about Cynthia as soon as she made contact, because somehow, even when he had plans otherwise, Sue Ellen always found out and the consequences were always worse when information was revealed from another source as opposed to directly from him. Stupidly, he had assumed that this time would be different, and unfortunately for him, and for Sue Ellen, it wasn't, and she had ended up hurt and distrustful of him again. "I'm sorry. I mean it, truly. I never intended for any of this to happen, and I'm doing my best to make sure that it doesn't turn into anything too dramatic, because there's a very good chance that that woman is a liar and is doing her best to blackmail me and that I'm not actually connected to this situation in any real way. I promise, I never intended for any of this to happen and I'm so sorry you had to find out this way. Please, allow me to explain everything"; the word 'sorry' seemed like a useless apology and weak excuse, but he said it anyway because he really didn't have many other words right now and if at all possible, he really did want a chance to explain everything to her, because he did feel bad and did want to take responsibility. Over the last eight and a half months, he really had been trying to be a better, different man and up until recently, he had felt as if his efforts were working. Unfortunately though, those efforts didn't occur in a vacuum and despite him changing, the things around him had a mind of their own and the consequences of his actions were finally catching up to him.

"You're sorry? About which part? Are you sorry that you had unprotected sex with another woman without any regard to our marriage, me as a person, the health of our unborn baby or your own personal life circumstances? Are you sorry that that is now coming back to bite you in the form of a real, live baby boy and his needy, trashy mother? Are you sorry that even if that baby isn't your son, there will still be some serious consequences? You can say sorry as many times as you want, but it doesn't make anything any better, not really. It doesn't take away the hurt, embarrassment and anger you caused me to feel; it doesn't take away the danger that you put all of us in when you did such a thing and it doesn't make the fact that you may have two sons now any better. Two families, two women, two children, two completely different life circumstances; tell me, how are we supposed to deal with all of that and continue as if nothing was wrong?" sighing loudly as she paused, she then considered what more she could say. They had been through the immediate issue of his cheating months ago and honestly, she had forgiven him and warily allowed him to prove himself to her as a decent husband and father, to which she had been pleasantly surprised that he was, until just recently when it had all come back to her. The real issue she had right now was that the consequences of that action were much longer lasting than either of them had ever imagined or expected and it hurt both to know that there was a possibility that he had another son and that he had hidden it from her. To think that he had purposely avoided telling her about something that could affect their marriage, her life, John Ross' life and the entire Ewing family in a huge way didn't say much about their commitment to an open and honest relationship. The fact was that if he was lying to her about this, then how could she trust that he wasn't lying about anything else? How could she trust him in any other area of their lives?

Sighing, JR had his thoughts confirmed, he had messed up; she was hurt, angry, frustrated and felt betrayed and from the sounds of it, an apology and explanation weren't going to be enough. She wanted answers and honestly, he wasn't sure he could give her answers, he didn't have all the facts himself and he wouldn't know what direction the situation was heading in until tomorrow afternoon when he met with Harve and Cynthia. He knew that whatever he said right now wouldn't be enough, the problem was, he wasn't really sure what would be enough, because apart from his recent lies and past mistakes, two things he couldn't take back now, he had been a good husband and besides increased transparency and continued effort, he didn't really know what else to do. "Darlin', you're absolutely right. I didn't think about the future or our relationship back then, and I know we have been through this and it feels like we're back at the beginning, and I know that my apologies don't mean much right now, but please, just allow me to explain. I can't guarantee that it will make anything better, but I want you to understand all of the facts before you make a judgement and get any more angry with me. Please, allow me to make good on the promise of open and honest communication, even if it's a little late", dropping any instinct he had to fight, be defensive or maintain his 'manly' emotions, he looked at her pleadingly and waited for her to respond. He couldn't have her leaving him like she did last time, there was so much more to lose now and he didn't want to lose any of it, even if he had done wrong and deserved to face some consequences for his actions. He wanted his wife, his son, his company and his family and if admitting his mistakes, apologising profusely and making good on promises of real change were what it took to keep her, then that's what he would do. He wasn't stupid, he knew that now was not the time to start asserting control in their relationship by telling her how things were and that she shouldn't question him, not if he wanted to stay married.

Glaring at her husband, still angry and hurt, even if she was softening a little to his attitude, Sue Ellen sighed and crossed her arms over her chest, "a little late? I think we've passed the marker for what counts as a little. You should have told me and the fact that you didn't hurts me…" pausing for a moment as she considered whether to listen to his explanation, she allowed her genuine curiosity to get the better of her, "…however, if you're willing to tell me everything, and I mean everything, then I'm willing to listen. I can't make any promises about us, our future, or my reaction to what you're going to tell me, but I want to and need to know, so do not even consider hiding things from me in order to 'protect' me. I'm a grown woman, I'm your wife and my life is just as much connected to this as yours is, so please, save the lies and cover stories for your future memoir, because all I want to hear is the truth… the whole truth, no matter how dark or embarrassing. I need to know, so, if you're willing to tell me, then I will listen, but, if you're not, then don't even bother". Looking at him expectantly, still a little unsure whether giving him a chance to explain, or lie, was the right decision, but hoping it was, she was relieved when he gave her a weak, embarrassed smile and thanked her for the opportunity; his subdued attitude was a good start, she just hoped that it wasn't all he had to offer.

To be continued…