Starmapping, the only good excuse for Elle to hang out on the bridge for hours, distracting everybody from staring at nothing.

"But is it Odin or Thor who sets the bar on who's worthy?" Sulu asked. "Or is it the hammer itself?"

"Does that mean the hammer would have sentience?" Chekov asked.

"Well, the only ones that could lift it were..."

Elle glanced from one crewmember to the other, delighted. She didn't think that introducing the Avengers meta-questions into conversation would be so productive, but, you know, "Nerds," she whispered happily. "I love this ship."

Spock glanced over at her and raised a sardonic eyebrow. He knew exacly what she was doing.

Elle smiled at him.

"So does that mean that the hammer is a constant and the universe is not?"

"Considering how dense the material is, it might be a-"

The red alert siren shattered the calm environment just as effecively as Mjolnir. "Report," Kirk ordered.

"Unknown vessel heading towards us at maximum warp," Sulu reported. "They came out of nowhere, computer engaged Red Alert on auto."

Kirk frowned. "Let the alert stand, all systems ready."

"Phaser banks standing by, sir," Sulu said.

"Range?" Kirk asked.

Chekov cleared his throat. "Forty three thousand and closing."

"Configuration unidentified," Spock reported, not-frowning. "Ion propulsion, high velocity, though of a unique technology."

Kirk turned to the comm station. "Any contact, Lieutenant?"

"Hailing on all frequencies, sir. All languages have been attempted. No response. Now using standard interstellar symbols."

"Keep trying."

"Aye sir."

"Magnification ten, Mr. Chekov." Kirk turned to Elle. "Recognize it, Elle?"

Elle frowned at it. "No... it's pretty though."

"An interesting design."

Scotty nodded. " I've never seen anything like her. And ion propulsion at that. They could teach us a thing or two."

"Ion propulsion," Elle muttered, frowning at the screen.

"Life forms, Mister Spock?"

"One. Humanoid or similar. Low level of activity. Life-support systems functioning. Interior atmosphere, conventional nitrogen-oxygen. Instruments indicate a transferal beam emanating from the area of the humanoid life form."

"Directed at what?" Kirk asked sharply.

"Directed at the Bridge of the Enterprise, Captain."

"Elle get below," Kirk snapped. "Security team to bridge."

"Security to bridge," Uhura said into the comm.

Elle was halfway to the turbolift when there was a bright light and a woman materialized onto the bridge. The woman gave everyone a beatific smile.

"I'm Captain James Kirk, this is the starship Enterprise, of the United Federation of Planets. I ask-"

The turbolift doors opened and Giotto and two others rushed out, phasers at the ready.

The woman smiled and lifted her hand to the vambrace on her arm.

The memory if this episode hit Elle like a semi-truck to the head and she backed towards the science station as the lady advanced. "No! Spock, no! Listen lady, not this ship, you don't need-"

The lady pushed the button.

A warm wave of tingly energy hit Elle like a summer's gust of wind. The lights flickered, the ship's engines made a sad sound, and Elle felt the world going topsy turvy.

"No," Elle protested, and the world went black.

-/\-

"Elle?" Someone shook her shoulder lightly. "Elle?"

"Nnh," Elle graoned, blinking awake to Giotto's worried face leaning over her. "What hap- Spock!" She sat upright so quickly she almost bonked heads with Giotto. "Spock, where's Spock, ohhhhh flying spaghetti, oh, no." She bolted for the turbolift.

"Elle, calm down," Kirk said, gripping her shoulders lightly. "Deep breath, what's going on? Where's Spock?"

"I-"

"McCoy to Bridge, Jim!"

Kirk nodded to Uhura to open the channel. "Yes, what is it?"

"You'd better come down to Sickbay right now," Bones said, sounding terribly disturbed.

"On my way," Kirk said. "Elle, with me."

They got in the lift. Elle chewed on her lip. "I really hope..."

"Hope what?" Kirk asked. "What's going on?"

"That lady," Elle said helplessly, "I think, I think she took Spock's brain."

Kirk stared at her. "...What?" As soon as the lift stopped, he bolted for Sickbay.

Elle sprinted after him.

"Is it true?" Kirk demanded, skidding to a stop beside Spock's biobed. "Is it... you have him on complete life support... oh Spock..."

"How did you-" McCoy glanced at Elle. "You... this is an episode?"

"Yeah," Elle said miserably, inching over to look at Spock. He was so still. "I'm sorry, I didn't remember this until it was happening, this episode is so ridiculous, I didn't think it was even real, I mean..."

"It's certainly real," McCoy said grimly. "His brain's been surgically removed."

"How could he survive?" Kirk asked hoarsely.

McCoy sounded grudgingly respectful. "It's the greatest technical job I've ever seen. Every nerve ending in the brain must've been neatly sealed. Nothing ripped, nothing torn, no bleeding. It's a medical miracle."

Kirk's fingers tightened on the edge of the biobed. "If his brain is missing, then Spock is dying."

"No. That incredible Vulcan physique hung on until the life-support cycle took over. His body lives. The autonomic functions continue. But there is no mind."

Elle frowned. His body lives, but there is no mind... before he died in the Wrath of Khan? Wait... was this the greatest example of foreshadowing in the history of science fiction? This was better than River Song's reveal in Doctor Who... except, you know, that his BRAIN WAS GONE.

"Elle, sweetheart?"

Elle forced her gaze up. "Huh?"

"The girl," Kirk prompted.

"Right." Elle refocused. "She took his brain to use it as a controler for their civilization's systems. They live underground."

"Can we put it back?"

Elle scrunched her face, trying to think. "Uhhhh..."

"Elle." Kirk put his hands on her shoulders, his expression more intense than she'd ever seen it. "Can. We. Fix. Spock?"

"Yeah," Elle replied, giving him a firm nod. "We can do it. We just have to find the planet, find the underground civilization, and convince the woman that they don't need a brain to run their systems."

Kirk squeezed her shoulders in thanks and looked at McCoy. "How long do we have?"

"Twenty-four hours, max," McCoy said.

"Elle, do you know the location of the planet?"

Elle shook her head. "I only watched the episode, like, once, I didn't like it, it was dumb..." she trailed off and glanced back at Spock. "Not so dumb. Sorry."

Kirk scowled fiercely. "That woman was in an ion-propulsion ship. We can follow the trail. C'mon, Elle."

She trailed after him.

He dropped her off at her quarters. "Can you rewatch the episode in your memories, try and pull the name of the system or more details?"

Elle bit her lip. "I'll try, but, I need help if I've only seen it once, and Spock..."

"Oh." His face fell. "Can you try anyway?"

"Of course."

"Good. Thank you." He walked one step away and turned back to her. "Elle?"

"Yes, captain?"

"Do we get him back?"

She nodded. "We get him back."

His shoulders relaxed a fraction of an inch. "Thank you." He headed for the lift.

Elle went into her quarters, went into her bedroom, and closed the door. She took a deep breath. Spock was counting on her. She sat cross-legged in the center of the bed, closed her eyes, and tried to remember the episode.

"If we guess wrong, Spock will die."

"Glaciers."

"She has the mind of a child."

8-year-old Elle pointed at the TV screen. "It's a brain sucker!"

Her father laughed. "And what's it doing?"

"Starving!" Mini-Elle shrieked with laughter and collapsed into her dad's side. She tugged his arm until he wrapped her in a hug. "Wait, daddy, what's it really doing? What's Bones doing?"

"He's learning from it, but it's only gonna last three hours."

"That's not enough time to stick a whole brain back in!" Mini-Elle protested, eyes wide. "Is Spock going to die!?"

"No, he's going to- wait, why am I telling you? You have to watch, baby, to get the full experience out of it." He chucked her under the chin. "Watch them be brilliant, baby."

Mini-Elle turned her attention to the screen. "Wait, dad, what's going to happen to the girls and the boys?"

Her dad turned red. "Uhhhh, you can ask your mom."

8-year-old Elle gave him an unimpressed look. "I'm not talking about them making babies. I mean their brains, dad! They're grownups, they can't be that stupid or they'll die!" She seriously didn't understand why he was laughing so hard. It wasn't funny.

Elle surfaced, blinking. She glanced at the chrono. It'd been four hours. She stood up. Her head spun and she threw herself back on the bed. "I need water," she declared, blinking up at the ceiling. "Simba, we need to get a water bottle."

The tribble purred in agreement and did not procure a water bottle.

Elle sat up, waited for the room to stop spinning, and replicated a bottle of Gatorade. "We're going to drink all of this, Simba, because if we try and go talk to the captain and fumble it, he's going to hit the roof. And he's already worried about Spock, we can't give him anything else to worry about, okay?"

She put her shoes on and picked up the tribble. "Computer, where is Captain Kirk?"

"Captain Kirk is on the bridge."

Elle marched up to the bridge, Simba tucked under her arm like a football.

Captain Kirk stopped pacing. "Elle? Please tell me you have something."

Elle grimaced. "Not the name of the system, because I was eight, and I don't remember it, but I do remember that the planet we're looking for is cold and has glaciers on the surface but underneath it's got a compound or something, and that's where Spock's brain is. He's fine, by the way." She handed him the tribble.

Kirk closed his eyes in relief and almost fell into his chair, clutching Simba as it started to purr. "Good. Good, thank you, Elle. Anything else?"

"Uhhh, the males live on the surface, and the females live underground in the complex currently run by uh, brainpower. Everybody there has the mind of a child because, like, the main brain runs everything and they just do as they're told."

"If everyone has the mind of a child, how did they remove Spock's brain so perfectly?" Sulu asked.

"They have this thing, I remember calling it a brain-sucker, but it's like, the opposite. It dumps information into your brain, like uh, like what happened to Colonel O'Neill in Stargate, when the Ancient database got downloaded into his brain. The woman, that one that came onboard, she puts on this device and it downloads all the knowledge into her brain and she's the most intelligent person, but it wears off after three hours."

"So if we find this, device, she can put Spock's brain back?" Kirk asked.

Elle grimaced. "Uhhh, considering we're totally going to destroy their way of life by removing the motherboard, she's not gonna wanna do it. If we can convince her, maybe she will though? In the episode, McCoy does it, but he doesn't finish in three hours so Spock has to help him, still half-in the computer, or something. It works. I think the key will be not getting knocked out and not getting slave belts put on, otherwise there's gonna be a lot of tasering in the near future and we can skip that."

They blinked at her.

"But we get him back," Kirk said.

"Yes."

"Then we just have to keep going," Kirk said firmly. "Thank you, Elle." He pet the tribble absently. "If we're going to keep following this trail, I think I'll take the opportunity to rest."

"Need your diplomacy skills for when we find the planet," Elle agreed.

Kirk stood up. "You have the conn, Sulu."

"Aye, sir."

Kirk handed Elle the tribble back, pressed an absent kiss to the top of her head, and exited the bridge.

Elle smiled.

Sulu and Chekov exchanged a glance. "Did you just manipulate the captain into getting some sleep?" Chekov asked. "With a tribble?"

Elle's grin widened. "Good news, and fluffy pets. All that dopamine, all that nice serotonin, makes all the muscles relax." She smiled at them. "I've been covering psychology with Bones."

"Zat is terrifying," Chekov replied. "Good job."

"Thanks." She stared out at the starfield. "How long does the trail keep going?"

"A while yet," Sulu said, leaning back in his chair. "You're gonna need sleep, too, Elle. Go on."

She pouted.

"What's good for the captain is good for the civilian mission consultant," Sulu said firmly. "Good night."

"Good night," Elle grumbled, tucking Simba under her arm. She paused. "Can you wake me up when we find the right system?"

Sulu gave her a comforting smile. "Yeah."

"Okay. Good. Thanks. Night."

Instead of going to her quarters, she went to sickbay. "Bones?"

"Yeah?"

Elle looked at Spock's motionless body. "Is he still okay?"

"He's stable," Bones confirmed. "You remember something from this mission?"

She repeated what she'd told the captain.

"Simple," Bones said. "We'll take two surgeons with us. I'll start it, once the three hours wears off, M'Benga can take over and finish up."

Elle gaped at him. "Seriously?"

"Why not?"

"Th- I mean, yeah. That's a good idea." Elle blinked. "Why didn't you do that in the episode?"

"It's more dramatic if the main character has to do disembodied surgery on himself," Bones said dryly. "Go get some sleep."

"Yeah."

Elle took a shower, drank some hot cocoa, and lay flat on her back, staring at the ceiling. It was the same feeling as, 'we're getting up at four am to go to the airport to start vacation', or 'state testing starts at eight am tomorrow, gotta be up early.' She started counting out loud in Spanish, and then in Vulcan, and then in Andori...

-/\-

"Elle to bridge. Elle to bridge."

The high, piercing whistle and the page knocked the sleep right out of her brain. Elle fell out of bed, scrambled for the comm. "On'm'way," she replied, and tripped over her sneakers. "Ouch."

She managed to put her clothes on and ran to the bridge. "Whaddawegot?" she panted, leaning on the rail next to Uhura's station.

"Sigma Draconis," Kirk said. "This is where the trail ends."

"Three Class-M planets, two with pre-interstellar flight civilizations," Chekov reported. "The other one is covered in glaciers."

Uhura spoke up. "Sir, I'm picking up regular energy pulses from that planet."

"That's the one," Elle confirmed.

Kirk nodded. "Have the transporter room stand by. I'm taking a landing party down to planet six."

"Take me with you," Elle said.

"No."

She captured his sleeve. "But captain, they have the minds of children. I'm a child, it all evens out. Plus, they treat the men like slaves and if you don't take a girl with you, you're gonna end up captured."

"I will not risk your life on an uncharted planet," Kirk retorted.

"It's not uncharted, people live there." She met his gaze. "Captain. We only have eight hours to get Spock's brain back in his head. We can't afford to waste time. Take me with you. Please?"

He sighed. "If you get hurt, Spock's gonna kill me."

"No he won't, we're saving his butt, er, brain." She tugged him into the lift. "Let's go."

Giotto almost stroked out when Kirk informed him that Elle was part of the landing party. "You are going on the whiteboard of shame, young lady," he said severely, and handed her a phaser and a communicator. "Martinez!" he barked. "You're with Elle. Let her out of your sight and I'll have your hide."

"Yes, sir!"

They went to the transporter room.

Elle was fine until the door slid open and McCoy and zombie-Spock walked in, his gate mehanical and puppet-like. She shrank behind Martinez. "Oh, noo, no no, do not like," she said, cringing as zombie-Spock came closer to step on the dais.

"Come on," Kirk said, tugging her onto the platform. "The faster we get this done, the faster we get Spock back to himself."

"Yeah." She chanced another glance at zombie-Spock. His eyes stared blankly ahead. He had no life. Elle shuddered and turned away. Note to self. Do not get your brains stolen ever.

McCoy, M'Benga, Scotty, and four Security officers joined them on the dais.

"Energize," Kirk said.