Chapter Four

Boston, Massachusetts

It had been a long day, but Jane had made sure to make it home in time for Maura's Skype call. She didn't want to miss another one so soon, even though her pride was still a little hurt by their last conversation. The fact was it had been bothering her all week and it had been frustrating to say the least. She was only grateful that there weren't any complicated murder cases that needed the best of Jane Rizzoli, because she was fairly certain she wasn't capable of giving that.

She had moved her laptop to the coffee table so that she could rest comfortably on the couch during the conversation, as she hoped that they could really talk. Their phone conversation on Friday night had been the most meaningful one they had had in a few weeks and the fact was she missed being Maura's confidant. The whole situation sucked. What she really wanted was for Maura to come home.

So when the Skype call came through and she answered, she didn't plaster on the usual smile. She let her features rest in their desired state, a cross between hurt and lonely. "Hey Maur," she said softly as the image of her best friend came to life on the screen in front of her.

"What's wrong Jane?" Maura had instantly recognised the negative emotions that adorned the olive skinned features of her friend.

Jane took a moment to contemplate the depth with which she wanted to answer the question. Brutal honesty came to mind first and so she went with that tact, "Us," she said with a slumping of the shoulders.

"What about us?" Maura asked, feeling an instant surge of guilt churning up her stomach. "Is this because of what I said when we last spoke?"

"No. Yes… I don't know," Jane's hands were gesticulating wildly as the Italian in her came out strong. "You don't talk to me anymore Maura and it hurts."

The blonde tilted her head to the side as she processed what was being said. "I'm sorry Jane; I do not understand what you mean. We have been talking at least twice a week since I have been gone."

Jane rolled her eyes and dropped her hands to her lap, "Of course you don't get it," she huffed. She leaned forward and motioned with her hand between herself and the camera, "We haven't communicated on the same level that we used to. It's all unicorns and kittens and…"

"Unicorns and kittens Jane?" Maura interrupted, completely perplexed.

"Cute, adorable, fun and happy stuff. There's none of the real stuff between us anymore and God you know how much I hate to be the one to get all emotional, but damnit Maura I basically had to dig it out of you that you were dating a woman!"

"Oh," Maura averted her gaze towards the desk the laptop was sitting on in her study. She sucked in a deep breath and refocused her attention on the screen, "I was afraid to tell you Jane."

"Why?"

"Because you're important to me and I was worried how it may make you feel and I was afraid I would lose you. I know this situation isn't ideal and I know you miss me because I miss you too. I think about you every day Jane, but I had to leave. You know that." She hadn't intended for all her thoughts to come blurting out like that but they had.

Jane's dark eyes softened a little as she realised how distraught the doctor must have been to have spewed forth more information than intended. "I do miss you Maur, probably more than you know and not just because you're the best medical examiner I've worked with either. I just, I should have asked you to stay, alright? I know you couldn't, I get that, but… I dunno." She shook off her final thought, she felt like she had already revealed too much vulnerability.

Feeling the prick of tears threatening to well in her eyes forced Maura to try and fix the problem logically. "So what can I do?"

Come home, just please come home. Jane closed her eyes and pushed the thoughts away, she'd been having them way too much lately. She was a grown woman pining after her best friend in ways that just didn't make sense. Maura had been more than accommodating; the fact was aside from work conversations they probably still had more social interaction than they might have some weeks anyway. It just wasn't the same though, without that physical connection; without being able to take one look at her friend and know that sarcastic Jane or silly Jane or compassionate Jane was required.

The detective opened her eyes and said, "Need me." It wasn't at all what she had planned to say, no what she had planned was just to implore Maura to be a little more forthcoming and allow her to be involved in her life. But that isn't what she said and now she just wanted the earth to open up and swallow her whole.

The emotional depth behind the words was not lost on the doctor. She smiled sadly, "I do need you Jane. You're my North Star, don't you know that?"

But you're my everything. Everything? What the hell is wrong with you Rizzoli?

The Italian could feel tears stinging her cheek, which she brushed away roughly with the back of her hand. "I can't… I gotta go." Instincts were telling her to run; she needed time to think things through. She'd wanted the conversation but now she needed out of it fast.

Sensing the emotional turmoil hidden behind dark eyes and not wanting to lose the connection just yet Maura spoke up. "Don't go Jane. I need your advice."

The detective eyed the digital image of her friend suspiciously, "About what?"

"Gabby." Maura sighed and visibly slumped, all week she had been trapped in her own mind analysing and re-analysing the look she had seen in the woman's eyes when she had raced off to tell her ex about the assistant coach for the national team being amongst the spectators.

Jane bit back a groan that so definitely wanted to come out and instead tried to focus on best friend duties, not that she thought she could be any good at giving insight on women. She might be one, but she barely understood herself half the time, yet alone any of the other women she encountered in day to day life. "What's going on there?"

Maura played with her ring nervously, spinning it around her finger. "You were right when you suggested she must be special. I mean I didn't really realise it until after we spoke about it, but you were right."

Jane shifted back and subconsciously crossed her arms over her chest, "So what's the problem?"

"She has this complex relationship with her ex-girlfriend, they're still friends and while she has been very forthright with me, I cannot help but feel there are lingering feelings there that I cannot compete with."

"Oh bullshit Maura who are you trying to kid? She'd be out of her mind if she can't see how amazing you are…"

"Jane," Maura started sternly.

Jane smirked, thankful that some things would never change. "Language, I know. But seriously Maura, do you really think anyone could compete with you? You're beautiful, intelligent, accomplished, a walking Google and I mean really, who doesn't need a walking Google?"

"You're the only one to ever appreciate my wordiness Jane, I'm not sure it's as attractive as you make it to be."

And yet it is. The hell? Stupid voice in my head, shut up! She took in a deep breath, once again forcing away thoughts she didn't want to analyse and said, "If she matters this much to you; if you care about her, then talk to her about it Maura. Don't just give up on it because you anticipate the worst, because all you're doing is guessing and we both know how much you hate to guess."

Maura mulled over the advice before nodding slowly, "You're right Jane, I don't know what I was thinking."

"Oh that part is very clear, you were thinking you don't wanna get hurt, but if you don't put yourself out there then you're only gonna miss out. We can't have that; you're too good a person to be spending your life alone." Jane smiled softly at her friend, "Besides, if she hurts you I'll personally fly out there to kick her ass!"

The doctor chuckled upon hearing this. "Good to know; although I must admit I would find a physical altercation between the two of you very interesting, I'm not so sure you would win." She smiled cheekily at the feigned hurt on her friend's face before hurriedly adding, "Not that I would condone such behaviour."

"Oh give it up Isles, you're secret is out. You just wanna see two women fighting over you. I knew you had it in you," she shot the doctor an exaggerated wink to ensure she knew that she was only teasing.

Maura shimmied her shoulders in response and using an overtly flirtatious tone said, "Do you intend to fight for me, detective?"

Jane shook her head and laughed, "Oh Maura, behave!"

Maura pouted playfully, "But what if I wanted you to fight for me, detective?"

Janes eyes narrowed as she studied the image of her friend, she was clearly being playfully flirtatious as she had been known to be in the past, but she could have sworn there was something hidden deeper in those hazel eyes. She unfolded her arms and leaned forward and stated quite seriously, "I'd always fight for you Maur, you know that."

The doctor's eyes gave away her surprise before quickly returning to a state of calm. She hadn't expected that reaction from Jane and she had not expected the way it had made her feel. She pursed her lips and studied the image of her best friend closely; she'd never seen a more serious look in those dark chocolate eyes. "Jane, I…"

The ringing of her doorbell loudly interrupted what she was going to say and reluctantly she sighed, "I have to go."

Jane sighed clearly exasperated and irritated by the interruption; she didn't know why but she felt like she'd just missed an opportunity. An opportunity for what she wasn't too sure of, but something had just gone begging. "Night Maura."

"Goodnight Jane."

Jane closed her laptop before running both hands through her hair and exhaling deeply. She really needed to talk to someone about the stray thoughts bouncing around in her brain, and since they were about her best friend she most certainly wasn't going to be talking to her about them. That left her two choices really, hairdresser or bartender, because therapy was out of the question.

She remembered the welcoming smile of Kelly and the way they had hit it off since they had met Friday night and knew her decision was an easy one. Besides, Julio wasn't available at this time of night.

With a roll of her eyes at her own thought process she climbed off the couch and slinked into her bedroom to change. Five minutes later she was in a pair of dark blue skinny jeans, a white crew neck cotton shirt and a black leather jacket with a pair of black boots to round out the ensemble; she was channelling her inner James Dean.

Launceston, Tasmania

"Hey, hey what's wrong?" Gabby asked the moment she saw the tears that adorned Maura's face. She slipped inside the foyer and closed the door behind her, linked arms with the woman and led her into the living room opposite the front door.

Maura felt her face as she sat down on the couch next to the woman she had not at all been expecting. Much like the tears really, she hadn't realised they had stained her face as she had made her way downstairs to the door. "I was just talking with Jane. I miss her."

It was more than that though. Her friendly flirtation had elicited an unexpected serious response from her best friend and it had both confused and excited her. Theoretically Jane was the perfect woman in Maura's eyes, stunning, intelligent, loyal, funny and surprisingly patient when necessary; but she was her best friend, her dearest friend. It was a line she wasn't willing to cross, besides Jane's home was in Boston and that place would never be her home again.

"Aww hon c'mere." Gabby pulled Maura into her arms and held her tightly, relishing when the doctor melted into her body and buried her face in the crook of her neck. "I know it's gotta be hard not being able to just rock up on her doorstep to chat when you need her, but she's still there ya know? You still matter, of that I have no doubt."

Maura merely nodded her agreement into Gabby's neck as her thoughts shifted onto the woman whose arms she was wrapped in. She felt warm and safe and that was a feeling she appreciated; it also wasn't lost on the doctor that she still wasn't much of a hugger, but it felt so natural to be in this woman's arms, almost as natural as being in Jane's.

She knew Jane was right, she had to be open with Gabby about her concerns and her desires to take the relationship to a more committed level. She closed her eyes for a moment, steeling herself, before pulling back and smiling softly at Gabby. "Thank you."

The police officer smiled broadly, a warmth flooding her chest at the sight of the most breathtaking smile she had ever laid eyes on. She had an ever growing feeling that this woman would be her undoing, but she didn't care, she was exactly where she needed to be. "Just speaking the truth Isles."

Truth was good. "I have been thinking about you a great deal recently Gabby and I have come to an important conclusion." She paused to study the green eyes staring back at her with traces of anticipation, "I would like to spend more time with you and for our relationship to have more defined boundaries."

Gabby glanced down at the petite hand that had rested on her knee and squeezed, before looking up into serious hazel eyes. She grinned, "And what would those boundaries be, Isles?"

"Exclusivity." Maura had almost whispered the answer, suddenly feeling less confident in her request. The history between Gabby and Melissa still played on her mind.

Gabby nodded slowly, while her stomach did elated somersaults her eyes caught hold of the uncertainty painted in hazel. "I would like that too; but Maura, what's bothering you? I can see it in your eyes."

Maura sucked in a deep breath before exhaling and steadying herself mentally, it was time to see if Jane's advice was correct. "I'm concerned about the potential lingering feelings you have for Missy. You have been nothing but forthright with me and as such I recognise this may seem strange to you, but I have grown to care about you greatly and…"

"You don't want to get hurt. I get it and I don't blame you at all for being concerned; I probably would be too if the circumstances were reversed." She covered the delicate hand on her knee with her calloused grip, "But you need to know that for the first time in six years I feel like I am somewhere I need to be. You're so different from anyone that's come before and I know you're gonna challenge me, but I am ready for that. I'm ready for you."

A weight lifted from Maura upon hearing those words. She smiled and leaned in to plant a tender kiss on the auburn haired beauty. She pulled back and smiled seductively, "You're a smooth operator constable."

Gabby laughed and stood from the couch, pulling Maura with her. "Let me show you how smooth I can be."

Maura allowed herself to be pulled into the strong athletic body of her lover and crashed their lips together with a fiery passion, one hand finding Gabby's waist and the other the back of her head. She pulled away from the kiss when her breath became too ragged, resting her forehead against her lover's she rasped, "Bedroom, now."

Boston, Massachusetts

Kelly couldn't help but smirk when she watched Jane strut in with all the swagger of one of Boston's finest, in an outfit that accentuated all her assets. "Hot date, detective?" She asked when Jane slid onto the stool in front of her.

Jane furrowed her brow in confusion for a moment before remembering what she was wearing and all of a sudden feeling a little self conscious about it. What on earth had possessed her to dress up like this? "Yeah, with that nice cold beer you're about to put in front of me." She responded coolly.

"Awww, so you dressed up for me? How sweet," Kelly gave her a wink and slid a bottle of beer in front of Jane.

Jane chuckled, once again finding herself at ease around the bartender. In her mind she likened it to the ease she had fallen into friendship with Maura. Maura, well crap. "What time do you knock off?"

"Depends why you're asking."

"Maybe I wanna buy you a drink?" Seriously Rizzoli, what the hell has gotten into you?

"My, my, aren't we a confident one." Kelly cocked her head sideways in consideration of the offer; she liked Jane, she oozed confidence and bravado, and yet tonight she could see a hint of vulnerability and that drew her in. "Early shift tonight. I'll be done in a half hour; find us a booth and I'll join you when I'm done."

Jane nodded slowly and grinned broadly, completely involuntarily at that. She picked up her beer and wandered off to find a booth.

When Kelly slid into the booth opposite the detective she sensed some serious conflict. She slid a fresh beer in front of Jane, drawing the detective's attention her way. "Something tells me you could use a friendly ear."

Jane took the beer offered and sucked down a long draw before nodding her thanks. She was brooding, it hadn't been her intention, but while she had been waiting for Kelly to finish her shift her thoughts had shifted back to the conversation she'd had with Maura. She couldn't help but wonder what Maura was doing; she wondered who had been at the door and that had only soured her mood as she settled on it being Gabby.

There was an ache in her chest that she couldn't explain, but it hadn't started until she had thought about Maura and Gabby, alone together. Alone together in bed. She shuddered and lifted her eyes to meet Kelly's curious gaze, "I need something that's for sure."

"Cryptic much?"

Jane chuckled sadly, "It's complicated."

Kelly sat quietly drinking her own beer for a few minutes, just studying the different emotions that flashed across the detective's face as she appeared to disappear back into her own head again. The bartender's thoughts flicked back through the last few conversations she had shared with the Italian and she honed in on the one thing that made sense to her for the darkened mood. "It's Maura, isn't it?"

Dark eyes flashed with warning before eventually softening. Jane sighed, "I hate that she had to leave; but to move half a world away?" Her shoulders slumped and her fingers picked absently at the label on the beer bottle.

"So you miss her?" The brunette enquired softly, still studying the Italian's facial expressions intently.

"Yeah. To go from working together and hanging out most nights, to a couple Skype calls a week? It's harder than I thought it would be."

"You sure it's not more than that?"

Dark eyes flashed with momentary recognition at the implication before the Italian waved her hand dismissively. "I'm straight. There is definitely not more to it."

Kelly couldn't help the chuckle that escaped her lips. "Honey, you are so clearly in love with Maura and," she paused to rake her eyes over the Italian momentarily before returning to a defiant gaze, "You totally dressed to get my attention. You have, by the way, gotten my attention."

"Say you're right. Say I'm in love with Maura, why would I be dressing to impress you?"

"Because," Kelly said as she reached a hand out to cover the hand wrapped tightly around the bottle opposite her, "I'm here; she's not."

Jane closed her eyes for a moment and breathed in the atmosphere and analysed the sensation of the strong hand on hers; it felt nice, too nice. She opened her eyes and yanked her hand away from Kelly's. She pulled a twenty out of her wallet and dropped it on the table, "Thanks, but no thanks."

Kelly turned and watched Jane as she stalked angrily out of the Dirty Robber. Denial, if ever she'd seen it. She settled back into the seat and sucked on her drink. She had no doubt Jane would be back eventually.