Chapter Ten

November, 2011
Launceston, Tasmania

The moment her phone had burst into life Melissa knew the news wouldn't be good. She braced herself for the worst and listened as Constable Grundgeiger had advised her that she needed to get to the Launceston General Hospital as soon as possible because Gabby was in a serious condition.

Despite the intensity with which waves of fear rolled through her she had maintained her mental faculties and asked that Nate speak with the university to obtain Maura's details to advise her of the situation, as she knew that it would be what Gabby would want. She also asked that he attempt to deliver the news in person and to bring Maura to the hospital if need be.

After the call ended she stood still for a minute just processing her worst nightmare. She felt like history was repeating and it made her sick to her stomach. She forced down some bile and pushed back the memories of the last time she was at the hospital because someone she cared about had been involved in an accident.

She finally snapped into action; pocketing her phone she grabbed her keys and raced out of the house. She lived on Howick Street just around the corner from the hospital and given traffic conditions it was easier to go on foot. She haphazardly dodged traffic crossing the road before sprinting down the block. She had just reached the front of the hospital when she saw the ambulance pull into the Accident and Emergency bay fifty meters away.

She sprinted the final fifty meters and burst through the entrance with intent. She quickly navigated past the waiting area, where people were waiting their turn to be assessed and stepped up to the plexiglass window. Sucking in deep breaths she explained who she was and why she was there. As next of kin she would be advised of any updates as they came through, in the mean time there was little else she could do but take a seat.

Across the room she recognised a couple of off duty police officers that were there in support of their injured co-worker. Not wanting to be alone she took a seat with them and accepted their sympathetic looks, as they were aware of her close relationship with Gabby.

She really needed Monica in that moment, but her best friend was spending the week at Surfers Paradise in Queensland with Brad and his family. She didn't want to ruin their holiday until she had more news. It left her feeling incredibly lonely and allowed her brain to launch into overdrive contemplating the worst case scenario. The pain she had felt that morning hearing Gabby admit she was in love with Maura paled in significance with the pain at the thought of Gabby not surviving her accident.

Melissa slunk as far back into the plastic chair as she could and closed her eyes. In her attempt to push back the thought of Gabby dying she found herself lost in painful memories.

"Talk to me Missy, please." Rachael begged as she jogged to keep up.

Melissa stopped abruptly and turned to face her friend. "What am I supposed to say huh?" She demanded, a trace of sadness underscoring her obvious exasperation.

Rachael stopped and reached her hand out, gently grabbing a hold of Melissa's arm. "Tell me how you feel."

She felt a lot of things in that moment and none of them were good. She felt a heart wrenching ache in the pit of her stomach stemming from recent decisions that had provided much needed clarity but at an unbearable cost. Her heart was breaking and the last thing she wanted was to be having this confrontation on the street in the middle of town. With a nearly imperceptible shake of the head she said, "You don't wanna know how I feel."

Rachael's grip tightened, "I'm not crazy Missy. I'm not crazy…"

The hint of desperation in her friend's voice caused another crack to form in Melissa's heart. She had made such a mess of things that she didn't know which way to turn. She offered a sad smile, "You're not…"

"You feel it too," Rachael said a hint of confidence pushing through the despair she had been feeling. She stepped into Melissa's personal space. Her brown eyes locked onto blue that swirled with emotion. "Don't you?"

"I…" she swallowed thickly, her heart rate increased exponentially at the proximity of her friend. This intense attraction would be the end of her. "Yes," she admitted.

Spurred on by the admission Rachael framed Melissa's face with her hands and kissed her softly. When Melissa responded the urgency she felt pulsating through her body increased a hundred fold. She sought entrance with her tongue and it was granted.

Melissa's body and brain fought an internal battle, which her body was winning. She pulled Rachael closer when they deepened the kiss, desire consuming her and pushing all the conflicting thoughts and emotions back into a place where they were being ignored.

A car honked and a woman yelled, "Get a room."

Melissa was brought back to her senses at the reminder they were standing on the street. She pushed away from Rachael. "I can't keep doing this."

"Don't say that," Rachel said firmly, "What we feel is real."

Melissa couldn't deny that there was an intensity when they were around one another, a fire that threatened to consume her whole, but she loved Gabby. Gabby, her girlfriend, Rachael's best friend. Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes. "We can't keep doing this to Gabby."

"Do you think I wanted this to happen?" Rachael asked incredulously. "This thing between us has completely brought my world apart at the seams and I hate that Gabby is going to be a casualty in all this. But I love you Missy, I can't just shut that off."

Melissa's chest tightened and she shook her head vehemently. "No, this will destroy her. It ends now."

"Missy, please…"

"No!" She reiterated firmly. "We're done." Her gut churned and she just had to get away. She couldn't stand there and let Rachael wear her down any further. They had already done so many things that Gabby would never forgive if she ever found out. Tears streamed down Melissa's face as she turned and took off across the road without a second thought.

Moments later she felt firm hands press into her back and send her flying forward followed almost instantly by the squealing of tires and a heavy thud. She scrambled to her feet and turned around to see Rachael face down on the road in front of an SUV with blood on the hood. "No, no, no. God, Rachael."

The SUV door slammed and the driver, a woman in her forties, turned a light shade of green. "She just ran out in front of me…"

Melissa ignored the driver. Rachael wasn't moving and there was blood pooling around her head. She fought through her fear and used her mobile phone to call triple zero. "I need an ambulance, my friend's been hit by a car." She looked up to gain her bearings, taking note of the buildings around her she recognised where they were. "Charles Street just down from the Aboriginal Centre. Please hurry!"

A soft hand on her shoulder brought Melissa out of her painful reverie. She wiped at her face to brush away the tears before looking up into a face whose emotions mirrored her own. She immediately stood and wrapped Maura in her arms, a little surprised when the hug was returned. Stepping back she said, "All I know is they rushed her into surgery."

Maura nodded once, accepting the information provided. At least that meant that Gabby was still alive, or she had been when Melissa had last received an update. She was short of words, afraid that if she spoke the floodgates would open again and she would turn into a blubbering mess. She had barely managed to use the five minutes riding in silence with Constable Grundgeiger to compose herself as it was.

Nathan had stepped away once Maura had found Melissa sitting amongst some of his colleagues. He felt they needed a little more privacy and so he had spoken with a nurse and an administrator he knew. When he returned to the two women he said, "Come with me," he offered a soft look when they didn't immediately respond. "I've arranged so that you can wait in the nurse's lounge."

One of the nurses buzzed them through the emergency room doors and led the trio to the nurse's lounge, which also featured a small kitchenette. "You can wait here. I'll update you as soon as we know more."

"Thank you," Maura offered politely.

"Yeah thanks." Melissa agreed.

Nathan followed the nurse out of the room, leaving the two women alone with their thoughts and one another.

Both women found a seat and the silence that ensued was more than Melissa could handle. She had never coped well being trapped in her own head during difficult times and Gabby in surgery fighting for her life was the most difficult of times. "She's a fighter," she said softly, before looking up to meet Maura's gaze. "She'll get through this."

Maura's body bristled with apprehension. She would feel a lot better in believing the words if she had been apprised of the exact nature of Gabby's injuries. A vehicular accident left too many possibilities open to extrapolate any odds of survival. Perhaps it was better she didn't know. Realising that Melissa was desperate for some sort of response, she said. "I hope so."

The silence returned, only to be broken by the ticking of the clock above the sink and the muffled sounds of the emergency department on the other side of the closed door.

Melissa watched Maura sit perfectly still, seemingly lost in thought. The only visible sign of her worry the subconscious fidgeting with her necklace and the fact that this woman she had known to be stylish even when dressing casual had rocked up in yoga pants and what she recognised as Gabby's favourite t-shirt. She allowed herself to feel jealous of this fact, mostly because to feel jealous for a moment was better than feeling like she was going to fall to pieces.

Her phone beeped drawing her attention away from Maura. She looked at it and saw that Monica had texted her. It was just a simple text bragging about the gorgeous beaches and warm sun, but it too helped delay her thoughts from slipping back into the depths of despair.

"She cares about you very much," Maura said, having also been drawn out of her thoughts by the sound of Melissa's phone beeping.

"I don't know why," Melissa said sadly. "All I've ever brought her is pain." Her thoughts were bombarded with so many instances where she had hurt Gabby whether consciously or unconsciously. She swallowed thickly, looking up to meet surprising empathy in hazel eyes she asked, "Has she told you what happened between us?"

"Just that something happened she couldn't bring herself to forgive." Maura responded, curious that Melissa was taking them down this line of conversation. However she gathered that Melissa was as fearful as she that Gabby would not survive and appeared to have a lot of guilt to deal with. It wasn't necessarily a conversation she felt comfortable having, but it was better than being trapped in her own mind picturing painful outcomes. She really wished Jane was with her to help ease the ache in her chest.

"I had an affair," Melissa offered bluntly.

"Oh," Maura was surprised. She hadn't put too much thought into what could have occurred, but she could honestly say that she would never have guessed that, not with how apparent Melissa's feelings for Gabby had been the entire time she had known her.

"I was young," Melissa said, not in way of explanation but to continue her confession. "I actually think she could have forgiven me for making that mistake you know. I had only ever been with her. She would have forgiven me…" her voice trailed out. It was so hard to speak the truth that had driven Gabby away, especially to the woman that now owned her heart. She wasn't even sure why she had started to talk about this.

She turned away, unable to meet Maura's eyes, which had remained empathetic and not at all judgmental. The woman seemed like a damn saint and Melissa realised that she was exactly what Gabby deserved. Someone stable, caring, less broken, because she was still so broken and she may have papered over the cracks, but they were still there.

"Oh," Maura exclaimed, her brain suddenly putting everything together. "Rachael?" she questioned for confirmation of her suspicion.

"Yeah," Melissa admitted. "Gabby can forgive a lot of things, but sleeping with her best friend, not so much." Internally she scoffed at herself, because deep down she knew that even that could have been forgiven in time, if it had been purely physical. But it had never been just physical and Gabby knew that, because for Melissa there always had to be an emotional connection. Gabby was never going to be someone's fall back and no matter how she argued that wasn't the case she was just never able to prove it. Life had seen to that when Rachael had died from her injuries sustained being hit by that SUV.

Melissa shuddered and stood abruptly. "I can't do this again," she started pacing agitatedly. "I can't do this again."

Maura knew that there was clearly something else she was missing, but it wasn't the time to get the facts. She had enough information from Gabby and her own understanding of human psychology to see that Melissa was heading into dangerous territory and she had to try to help the young woman, because Gabby would want that. "Melissa," she said firmly, standing and crossing the room to where the woman was pacing. "Look at me."

Melissa couldn't stand the kindness in the eyes looking back at her. Her whole body shook with an intense need to run. She couldn't do it. She couldn't sit by waiting to be told that Gabby hadn't made it. It had been hard enough going through that with Rachael, she couldn't do it with Gabby too. The guilt was eating her alive. She met Maura's gaze and said, "Gabby loves you. So whatever happens, just know that."

And then she was gone.

A/N: Well I know its been close to two months and I apologise for that, especially given how long I left it between updates the last time I came back, but I'm going to try to keep updating, it just might be a monthly thing at best (might get the odd double chapter if the muse is kind). I want to finish this and all my other stories, it's just going to take time.

Thank you all for your patience, reading and reviewing. Sorry this chapter lacked any Jane, but I'll be making up for that very soon.