Chapter Thirteen

August, 2005
Launceston, Tasmania

Monica sat at the dining room table nursing a hot cup of Milo, waiting patiently for her sister to emerge from Melissa's bedroom and attempt to creep up the other end of the house to her own room. She honestly wondered how Rachael and Melissa could really think she wouldn't notice the shift in their relationship.

Monica wasn't normally one to interfere in the lives of her best friend and her sister with regards to anything, unless absolutely necessary and even then it would be with great reluctance. This time however was different; she was border line seething with anger at her housemates for the act of betrayal they were committing. Gabby had no idea what was going on and Monica knew if she found out it would leave a wake of devastation so wide it would impact all their lives terribly.

At this point Rachael and Melissa were the Titanic steering right for the iceberg and if nothing was done, they were going down, all hands lost. As far as Monica was concerned they were at the point of no return and as much as she couldn't have ever believed Melissa would step out on Gabby, there was a little slack she was willing to give there given who it was with. She didn't afford her sister the same forgiveness however, as she was the one steering the ship and she should damn well know better.

Footsteps approached, as Rachael had no choice but to walk through the dining room to get to her end of the house. Monica waited until her sister was in plain sight before quite sternly saying, "We need to talk."

Rachael jumped at the sound of Monica's voice and turned to see where her sister sat, the early morning light filtering in through the opened blinds behind her. "You're up early," she offered half heartedly, already approaching the table and pulling out a seat.

"This needs to stop," Monica said bluntly. She was in no mood to dance around the subject at hand.

"What does?" Rachael asked, feigning ignorance despite knowing deep down that the secret was out.

"Oh for Christ's sake Rachael, I wasn't born yesterday."

Rachael wanted to try and talk to her sister about the changes in her relationship with Melissa but the rather indignant defensive side of her mouthed off first. "I don't see how any of it is your business."

Monica rolled her eyes, not at all surprised to receive a defensive reaction. "Gabby is your best friend."

Rachael sighed; the gigantic elephant in the room hadn't taken long to make an appearance. It wasn't like she had set out to make this happen, she couldn't help how she felt – how they both felt. "I know…"

"So, like I said. This. Needs. To. Stop."

"We're not just screwing around," Rachael hissed angrily. "I love her Monica."

Monica sighed and took a moment to gather her thoughts, looking over at the clock on the wall, each second that ticked by only impressed on her the importance of what she said next. She had no doubt that her sister was in love and she had no doubt that part of Melissa cared very deeply for her sister, perhaps even loved her but it wasn't going to end the way Rachael must have been romanticising it would. "She won't leave Gabby for you, Rachael and to be honest I don't think she should."

Hearing those words stung, "Of all people I thought you might understand."

Monica sighed more obviously this time. "Rache, if I honestly thought this could work out in a healthy way for the both of you my words would have been that you need to tell Gabby, not to stop what you're doing."

"You don't think we can make this work?" Rachael asked, genuinely interested, but a little fearful to further explore what was being said.

Monica offered up a sad smile, "Oh honey I know you guys could make it work, but it wouldn't be healthy."

Rachael's brow furrowed, "I don't understand where this is coming from. I'd never hurt her."

"You already have," Monica said bluntly. "You just can't see it. You're all tangled up in your feelings that you can't see beyond that. She's torn up inside and this thing you're doing right now, it's killing her."

"Oh come on," Rachael scoffed, standing up abruptly. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Melissa is in love with Gabby, Rachael. Always will be. She's just confused right now, and you're not helping one bit."

Rachael shook her head, "No. I don't know what you think you see…"

"Oh for Christ's sake Rachael, you're her protector. You have been her protector since she was six years old. You have protected her through the worst life has had to offer. So yes she is attached to you and yeah right now she might be confused by the change in your feelings toward her and can't help but fall into this thing you guys have going on, but you'd be lying to yourself if you can't see how wrong this is."

"You're wrong," Rachael said angrily before making a hasty retreat towards her end of the house.

Monica stood and gave her sister a parting shot to remember, "She won't choose you Rachael and if she does, you'll destroy her."

Rachael stopped long enough to turn and spit out a bitter, "Fuck you," before disappearing into her room and slamming the door behind her.

Monica closed her eyes and exhaled air through her lips with a flutter. "That went well," she commented drily before taking another mouthful of her now lukewarm Milo.

"Yeah," Melissa said, from the opposite doorway to which Rachael had so recently departed.

"Ahh Hell," Monica muttered under her breath, "How much did you hear?"

"Enough." Melissa said flatly, hating that everything had come out the way it had. She had intended to talk to Monica about what had been happening, because her friend hadn't been that wrong with what she had been saying. The entire situation was killing her.

"Missy…"

"Don't," Melissa interrupted. She took up position opposite her best friend and fidgeted with her necklace. "You might be right."

While she had been firm with her sister Monica wasn't sure that being firm with Melissa would help the situation. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Melissa stilled her fidgeting and shrugged before placing her hands palm down on the table. "You really think she'd destroy me?"

Monica wasn't sure how to put it delicately so she tried a different tact. "Not exactly, but honey she might as well be handing you a loaded gun."

"When I'm with her and we are lost in the moment… it just feels so right." Melissa admitted, "But when I'm alone afterwards I'm so consumed with guilt and confusion."

Monica hated to state the obvious however she didn't think she could avoid it. "Well Missy that's only natural. You're cheating on Gabby. I think I'd be worried if you didn't feel guilty."

"I didn't mean for this to happen," Melissa admitted sadly, disappointed in herself for allowing things to escalate the way they had. "I honestly love Gabby so much, Mon."

"I know."

"I hate what I'm doing. God do I hate it, but there's something real here too and I dunno what the hell to do." Melissa felt so torn. "I just wish I could understand how I could do this… how the hell have I done this to Gabby?"

Monica could see all the self doubt and confusion in her friend's eyes and she hated it. This was exactly what concerned her. Melissa's conscience was going to tear her apart if this kept going on. She just had to help her friend break it down and understand what was happening. "Do you love Rachael?"

"Yes," Melissa replied instantly without even needing to think about it.

"Are you in love with her?"

"I… I don't know," Melissa sighed, there was intensity between them but she wasn't sure if she had fallen for her friend, or if it was an unbelievably strong physical attraction bleeding into an already close friendship. "I just don't know."

"Look Missy, in the end only you truly know what you feel but I am concerned that given Rachael's role in your life playing protector that the moment she showed a romantic interest in you it confused things. I think deep down you know this is not what you want, but she has always been there for you and taken care of you."

"Doesn't mean this isn't real though," Melissa countered, deeply hating the thought she would have allowed herself to risk everything because of confusing blurred lines.

"Doesn't mean it is." Monica reiterated, "I honestly think there's a strong case for transference here."

"Oh," Melissa sighed and resisted the temptation to slam her head against the table repeatedly. She knew Monica was just worried and was looking out for her and that she did need to make a decision quickly, but the whole thing left her reeling. Her jaw clenched. She had screwed up majorly and now she had to find a way to backpedal.

She flinched a little when she felt Monica place a comforting hand on hers. Looking back up at her friend she said, "I'm gonna lose them both, aren't I?"

It was a very distinct possibility. "Maybe not, but Missy you have to end this thing with Rachael and for the love of God you cannot come clean to Gabby." She could see how that thought clawed at her friend's conscience, but the truth was Gabby would never forgive her if she found out and Monica would be lying if she suggested otherwise. "She'll never forgive you."

Melissa attempted to blink away several tears that were beginning to fall. "She'll find out," she said barely above a whisper, almost as if just saying that would bring Gabby marching through their front door.

"Not from me," Monica said, "As long as this ends now." There were only two people that could spill the beans, because she couldn't do that to Melissa. The woman had been through enough as it was without adding the implosion of the most important relationship in her life on top.

"But Rachael?" Melissa half asked, very afraid of the possibility that in a last ditch effort to turn the tide her way Rachael would reveal the truth.

Monica shook her head. "She's going to be hurting, but she wouldn't do that to you Missy. She's not going to be able to turn off her protection mode when it comes to you."

Melissa knew Monica was right in that it needed to stop, for her sanity at the very least. She had been feeling so lost and even though she didn't really have the definitive answer in her own mind, the threat of losing them both was enough reason to trust that Monica was seeing what she couldn't. If her best friend was so certain her sister wouldn't bring the walls down on her, then she knew she had to heed the fact her heart ached awfully from the betrayal and end whatever it was she had fallen into with Rachael. "Okay," she said, "I'll talk to Rachael. It has to end."

November, 2011
Launceston, Tasmania

Melissa's call was answered almost immediately. "Mon," she said dejectedly as she slumped down onto the couch. "What if we got it wrong?"

Monica had answered her phone as soon as she saw it was Melissa calling back with hope that she had talked to her sponsor and it was going to be a 'good' call. She knew instantly from the extra rasp in her friend's voice that she'd been drinking and it caused Monica's heart to clench a little in her chest as it wasn't going to be a 'good' phone call at all. "Got what wrong, Missy?"

"All of it," Melissa said matter-of-factly. The more she thought about it the more she questioned it all. Did she really make the right decision walking away from Rachael? Maybe all she did by doing that was piss off Fate.

"That's a lot of ground to cover," Monica said, already knowing deep down where the conversation was headed. She would be lying to whoever asked if she said she never wondered the same thing herself, but it wasn't a conversation they should be having while Melissa was intoxicated.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about Monica," Melissa replied tersely.

Monica sighed and started rubbing her temple in an attempt to ward off the headache she knew was going to be raging hard by the end of the conversation. "No, I don't think we got it wrong."

"Then why does she haunt me so much?" Melissa had lain back on the couch with a cushion propped under her head. Behind her eyelids she was bombarded with images of Rachael from some of their more intimate moments. "She won't leave me the fuck alone," she growled, slamming her free hand against the couch in frustration.

"That's your guilt Missy, guilt I just wish you would let go."

Silence filled the line for what felt like minutes, but was merely a handful of seconds. "You called her my protector that very morning."

"I know, but Missy that's who she was and nothing would have changed that." Monica had moved over to the hotel room bed so that she could tuck into Brad's arms for the comfort she needed. She hated talking about her sister's death and if it were anyone else she would shut them down, but it was Melissa and whether she had wanted it or not, her sister's death had passed the mantle of protector on to her. "It wasn't your fault."

"She just wanted me to love her, Mon." Tears bit at her cheeks. "Why couldn't I just love her?"

"Because you love Gabby. Loved her then, love her now." It was never easy to figure the appropriate track to take when Melissa got like this, but handling it was much easier in person. This whole phone call thing left Monica feeling panicked, not that she could allow any of that to show. She had to try and maintain a sense of calmness to prevent Melissa from wandering any closer to her deep, dark abyss.

"Fat load of good that did her," Melissa said sadly, her stomach putting itself in knots as her mental focus shifted from one source of pain to the next. "I fucked it all up."

She could tell that things were going to go south quickly but she didn't have the right words. She didn't think it possible and in that moment she cursed the fact she was anywhere but right there with Melissa. "Sweetheart, listen to me, okay? Gabby is going to be fine and you are going to be fine and we will get through this."

"God I just want the hurt to stop Mon," Melissa said absently, clearly not hearing what Monica was saying. "I just wanna make it stop," she sobbed through a fresh set of tears. "Just make it stop, please."

Monica was off the bed away from Brad's comforting arms in an instant. She started pacing, growing more and more concerned by the desperation she heard in her friend's voice. "Missy, listen to me okay? I need you to breathe, just focus on your breaths. In and out, in and out… just breathe."

"Just stop. I don't want to calm down. I don't want to sleep it off. I want it to be done."

"Don't you dare talk like that to me Melissa." Monica had stopped pacing, "You don't get to leave me with a mess like that to clean up. You don't get to do that to me."

Melissa was just so tired of it all. She heard the words, but while they went in one ear they went straight out the other as her mind focused in on what seemed to be the only real option left to take. The only option she could live with was not to live with it at all. "You know if I had a gun I'd put it under my chin and pull the trigger right damn now."

As those words settled between them a light bulb went off for the both of them and they spoke at the same time. "Missy, don't." "Gotta go."

A little earlier

After cleaning up in the kitchen Jane had ventured back down the hall and quickly discovered that behind the door opposite the front entrance of the house was where the living room hid. Jetlagged as she was she wanted to try and last a bit longer than nine pm so she had located the remote control for the television and settled down on the couch.

Stifling several yawns she skipped through the Foxtel channels until she found ESPN and sent up a little thank you, which quickly turned into a groan when the NBA replay of the day was Lakers/Knicks. Unable to stomach watching the Celtics nemesis she skipped a few more channels and found an NHL repay on Fox Sports. Canucks and Kings weren't the Bruins, but they were two of the stronger teams so far into the season and were a lot more appetising than the Lakers.

She just needed something to keep her mind occupied a little so as not to fall asleep and to hopefully avoid thinking about pretty much anything else. Because outside of the television her brain just wanted to think about two things: Maura and Hoyt. The former had retreated upstairs to her room, from what Jane could determine from the footsteps overheard while she was finishing up in the kitchen. She figured she'd give Maura some time before checking in on her before going to bed. She hated this gaping chasm that had apparently opened up between them. She just wanted to be able to comfort her best friend.

Jane's eyes fluttered closed a moment before Henrik Sedin scored for the Canucks. She cracked open an eye at the sound of the crowd but promptly closed it again. She just needed a little nap, at least so she told herself.

"Falling asleep on the couch will not be good for your spine, Jane." Maura said from the entranceway to the living room.

"Wasn't sleepin," Jane defended, opening her eyes and offering a weary smile. "Was checking my eyelids for lint."

Maura managed a half smile at Jane's comment. "It wouldn't be too bad if you were to give in to the jetlag and go to sleep now. Might I just suggest sleeping in a bed?"

"I admit that does sound really good at this point." That said, Jane didn't make a move to indicate she was going to go anywhere. Instead she just watched Maura closely until the subsequent silence became too much. "Do you want to talk about it now?"

"I…" Maura frowned thoughtfully, "I would like that."

Jane made a show of patting the cushion beside her on the couch. "Come on, I won't bite."

Maura crossed the room and sat down on the opposite end of the couch, keeping some distance between them as she wasn't ready to be comforted physically and she knew Jane would draw her in if she sat too close. After several moments of thought she finally said, "I'm sorry that I ran out on you before. I just felt so overwhelmed."

Jane instantly hated that Maura had chosen to keep distance between them, but she understood the sign for what it was. "Well you do have a lot going on."

Maura instantly thought of Jane's recent encounter with Hoyt and considered that as just an important topic, if not more so. Nothing could be done in that moment about Gabby, but finding out how Jane was coping with what happened was more pertinent in her mind. "Yes…" she hesitated, not sure Jane would welcome the change of direction, but eventually settling that for her own piece of mind she needed to try. "However I am currently most unsettled by what happened… in Boston."

"Hoyt's dead, Maura. So it's over. It's done. I'm okay." Jane didn't want to linger on the topic of Hoyt, but she worried that would be a conversation she wasn't going to be able to avoid. She could at least try to delay the inevitable.

"Are you okay?"

"It's still fresh Maura, but I'm fine. I'm more concerned about you right now." Any chance to deflect she was going to take it, because Charles Hoyt even in death haunted her still.

Maura frowned. "I'm worried about you Jane. I have been so worried. You have been on my mind as much as Gabby has been. All I have had is time alone to think."

"What about Gabby's family and friends?" Jane asked, concerned that Maura had not just been alone in an emotional way, but in a literal way as well.

"Gabby's parents are deceased and her brother is in Africa. Monica and Brad are vacationing." It suddenly occurred to Maura that she hadn't even thought to contact Monica and she felt terrible. "It completely slipped my mind to contact them. I think I assumed Melissa would have."

In normal circumstances Jane would have made a joke about Maura making an assumption, but it was quite understandable in this instance. "Melissa? The ex right? She hasn't been around?"

The last of her worries, even though it had been a distant third to the well being of Gabby and Jane. "She was there the night of the accident, but she was incredibly distraught and rushed out. I haven't seen her since."

"So you've been alone in this since the night it happened?"

"Colleagues stop by, but I excuse myself to allow them privacy." Maura realised that Jane had successfully diverted the topic away from Hoyt and his lingering impact, but she didn't have it in her to fight her on it.

"Well I'm here now," she reached out and took a hold of Maura's hands in her own. "So you're not alone anymore."

"Thank you Jane." Maura said softly, relishing the familiarity and warmth of Jane's hands.

The moment of tenderness seemed to stretch on forever, with neither woman wanting to pull their hands away. However, Maura's phone ringing shattered the silence and comfort between them. She quickly withdrew to pull the phone from her pocket and answered after a cursory glance at the caller. "Hello Monica."

Jane watched as her friend listened, rose to pace, and barely spoke beyond just basic acknowledgements of information being received before briefly disappearing out of the room. Maura returned a piece of paper in hand and a concerned look on her face. "Maur, what's wrong?

"I need to go." Maura said before disappearing back into the foyer.

Jane jumped up from the couch and in several long strides joined Maura. "What's going on?"

Maura had grabbed her car and house keys from the hook by the door. "Melissa's in trouble."

Jane scratched her head, a little perplexed by Maura rushing out to help the ex-girlfriend and even more so that she hadn't even asked Jane to come along. "What kind of trouble?"

"I don't have time for this, Jane." Maura snapped, exasperated and overwhelmed and unable to think about anything other than what Monica had told her on the phone. "I have to go."

"Then I'm coming with you." She didn't know what the hell they were getting into, but she knew she sure as hell wasn't letting Maura go alone.

A/N: Holy OC heavy chapter Batman! I'm sorry there wasn't more Maura and Jane, but this chapter sort of wrote itself and what I thought was happening this one isn't happening until the next one now, thanks to the flashback having a mind of it's own. These OC's are so incredibly loved by me that I want to share as much about them as I do Jane and Maura. It's what's keeping me writing at the moment, but don't worry we're still going to have many moments with our favourite ladies. Just remember, this is one of those slow burns for rizzles, and lots of fun drama along the way so I can write all sorts of emotional scenes and challenge myself. Thanks for still reading along and leaving me reviews to let me know, it's nice to know some of you are still with me. Thank you all.