The landscape kept changing every few minutes, and every time it changed, Elle found a new crewman.
"Where's Captain Kirk?" Elle asked Lt. Riley, and he pointed, just as the landscape changed to the hills near Santa Monica. Star Fleet, of course.
A few moments they found the captain, and then Scotty.
It was a strange feeling, knowing that you were in a different dimension, knowing that this lovely little landscape wasn't real except that it was, knowing that they were still on the Enterprise at the same time they were here, seeing the changes in people, the way they moved, the way they shone with some inner light... Elle moved closer to the captain and Scotty.
"You doing okay, Elle?" Kirk asked.
"So far," Elle replied.
He held out his hand.
Elle took it gratefully. Life was too strange not to take comfort where you could find it.
"Why are we going either uphill or downhill?" Kirk asked, as they started another uphill trek, this one a little steeper than the Santa Monica hills.
"I'm thinkin' it's probably the entropy gradient, the way we're perceiving the waves of entropy and anentropy," Scotty said.
Elle nodded. "That's what it is. The further we go into the anomaly, the steeper the hills will be."
"A nice calf workout," Kirk said ruefully. "Where's K't'lk, anyway?"
Scotty pointed, and there she was, emerging from the trees. The spider scuttled over and waved cheerfully. "On we go," she chimed. "Captain, are you well? You look troubled. Is it the lack of time, or the climbing?"
Kirk shook his head. "No, none of those. I'd like to find Spock though. And Bones-"
The landscape shifted again, suddenly harsh and craggy, stones and sand, a hot wind that was unmistakable.
"Vulcan," Elle breathed, and turned to see Spock and McCoy walk up to them from another slope. Here, more than anywhere else, familiar with Spock's mind through their various light melds, Elle truly sensed Spock's mind interwoven with this place.
"I didn't expect Bones with him," Kirk murmured, surprised.
Elle thought about logic, and passion, and katras, and just smiled. "Really?" she asked.
The senior officers grouped together and kept walking. It was easier now, with more familiar minds closer together, to see that shifting, the core of people's personalities shining through, feeling them all merge together... Elle blinked, refocused, and tried not to stumble over her own feet. "Trippy," she said. "Literally."
"I think that's all of us," Kirk mused, turning around briefly to get a headcount. With the half-telepathic 'here, captain!' echoing through this gestalt environment, it wasn't more than a milisecond before he faced forward again. "Now the question is, where are we?"
"We're still on the Enterprise," Elle assured him. "Couldn't have gone anywhere else."
"Indeed," Spock said.
Kirk snorted. "If this is the Enterprise, our Rec Chief has been doing a lot of remodeling."
"It's mindality," Elle said cheerfully.
"Mindality?" McCoy echoed, raising an eyebrow.
"In the words of my favorite omnipotent being, it's like clamato, except with mind and reality. Mindality. Our minds are bigger on the inside, and this place we've created lets it all spill out. We're still on the ship, it's just now the ship is as big as the universe. Or something like that."
K't'lk chimed agreement. "Very much like that," she said, giving Elle a crystal thumbs-up. "And we, in the Enterprise, are within the fringes of the anomaly. We must keep going up."
"Which brings up another question," Kirk said, and turned to McCoy. "Bones, is it just me or are people looking a lot, better?"
Bones nodded. "If we are in a place with decreased entropy, that means physical breakdown, aging, even mental entropy like intense emotions are being smoothed out, reversed."
Elle's eyes widened. "You mean we might start to deage?"
"Essentially."
"I don't want to Benjamin Button out of existence, here," Elle said, suddenly truly nervous for the first time since the beginning of the mission. "You guys might be okay but I haven't got much backwards to go..."
"Better walk faster then," Kirk said, hiding a smirk behind a hand.
They kept going. The further they went, the more Elle could sense all four hundred plus crew acting in concert. "Is this what you feel all the time?" she asked Spock.
"Not in this much detail," he replied. "My shields prevent me from sensing all but familiar minds or direct contact."
"Ah."
The further they walked, the more the worlds began to change. The transitions started to become choppy, more abrupt, glitching in and out like a video game with a bad refresh rate. "We're approaching the center of the anomaly, captain," Spock reported, looking grave. "The turbulence will become worse before it gets better, and then I suspect we will be in a greater state of anentropy."
"Better let the crew know," McCoy said.
Kirk turned to survey his crew, and Elle was hit with such an overwhelming feeling of fondness she almost wanted to cry. I have the best crew in the fleet! her heart cried out, and it wasn't her heart or her thought, but she felt it all the same.
His speech was short, simple: "Hang on to each other, don't lose anyone. Let's go." And everyone plunged forward.
It was like walking uphill in a blizzard, a blizzard which happened to be full of landscapes and thoughts and terrible mirages just in the corner of your eye. Elle clung to Kirk's sleeve and kept going. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming... she barely noticed the murmured conference of senior officers before they split up to shepherd groups of crewmen through the storm. Elle stayed with the captain as a group of crewmen joined them, and they kept going.
Each step increased Elle's mental sensitivity, and she could feel each person's distress as if it wer her own. She tried to breathe through it, but it was too much. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming... her thoughts slipped into the captain's head, What if I get lost? Never mind, just keep going- and it got worse from there as they scrambled down a terrible slope, unable to see past the end of their noses.
-Keep going, can't keep going, but I've got to- keep swimming- I'm so tired and I skipped lunch before the inversion, shouldn't've done that- hold on to my hand, Janice, don't worry- keep your head down and your chin up- let's just keep going - you must move forward, crewman- doctor, not a psychic- don't let it get ya down- terror, fear- Great Bird what is that- no, don't look, just keep moving- grab my hand! - just keep swimming- courage is not the absence of fear but- You don't stop halfway through hell, just keep going- just keep swimming, swimming, swimming-
Elle gasped a huge heaving breath of air as the slope vanished and she stumbled forward on level land. "Oh, thank goodness," she said, and took a few moments to check she still had all her fingers and toes.
Kirk gave her a hug. "You okay?"
"Yeah." She turned to look at the rest of their crew. "You guys okay?"
"Good," they confirmed, and Lt. Kerasus from Linguistics gave her a hug.
They all gathered together, all four-hundred plus, and Elle stared ahead at the giant, golden, pearly gates that waited for them. "That can't be right," she said uncertainly. "Anentropy has gates?"
"Doubtless the influence of people's cultural and socio-religious background," Spock observed.
As they watched, the gates disappeared and a stone wall apepeared. After that a doorway with a picket fence, after that a stone ring surrounded by stars, after that...
"Boundaries," Kirk murmured.
It made sense. Elle knew that everything after that point would be something completely different, the end of everything that made the universe physical, solid, and real. "Here be dragons," she murmured, and Scotty chuckled.
"Aye, lass."
The captain led the way, and they went forward. It was a large plane of nothingness, vaguely landscaped, but with no direction. "Spread out, standard search patern," Kirk ordered. "Elle, stay close to Spock."
She moved to flank Spock's left side.
"How do you feel, ax'nav?" he asked gently.
"Strange," Elle admitted, "but I'm okay." She sucked in a breath through her teeth. "Everything's getting really crisp, if you know what I mean."
"I do. The physical barriers and the way we perceive things are breaking down, showing themselves as they Truly Are, not as we perceive them."
"The basis of cthia, reality-truth?" Elle asked.
"Perhaps," Spock allowed, surprised by the question. "Kaiidth."
What is, is. This wasn't the time for philosophical questions, who knew what it would stir up in this place. Elle put the conversation away and followed him. People were suddenly different, either completely unlike themselves, or something more than just themselves. People picked up strange companions; Lia Burke was shadowed by a stone creature that looked There and Not There at the same time. All the communications people were chattering and laughing in hundreds of languages, some of them surrounded by crowds of people.
Elle turned to look at the senior officers. Spock was just, so Vulcan, so Vulcan, but so human, he was a true prince, straight from the noble tales of pre-Surak, able to move mountains and inspire people, but there too was his great loyalty to Kirk, his affection for a friend closer than a brother. Elle couldn't help but beam at him.
McCoy approached, literally glowing from the force of his compasssion and desire to heal.
"Who needs the Force," Elle quipped. "Healer McCoy to the rescue."
He stopped by her side and held her hand, checking her pulse. "You all right, kiddo?" he asked.
"Yeah," Elle said, "why?" She looked down at her hands, didn't see them any differently.
"You're glowing," McCoy said, giving her a strange look. "Not like me, like, you have auras all around you. Different colors."
Elle smiled. "Cool. I wonder why."
"A young psyche has not fully formed," Spock said. "We may be seeing your different potentials."
"Like a redshift," Elle said, waving her arm slowly. She saw it, just a hint of purple wreathing the edges of her forearm. She turned to the captain. He was staring at her. She stared back at him.
"That armor getting heavy, Jim?" McCoy asked hesitantly.
Kirk gave him a strange look. "I'm fine," he said.
Elle couldn't help grinning. Fine, indeed. Jim Kirk, knight errant, that's who he was.
They started to debate about the nature of this place, the nature of what was happening. Around them the landscape continue to smooth out, become even more featureless, a white plane stretching out into infinity, no way to judge distance or time. "The question becomes who or what we will find here," Spock said. "And what will be required of us when we do find them. In neither Vulcan nor Terran myths do mortals walk the realm of the gods without reason."
"We're here to save them," Elle said, as they all walked slowly towards the light.
"Them?" Kirk said.
"God. Well not, like, God-god, but some kind of omnipotent force," Elle said.
They gaped at her.
"I told you before," Elle said, shrugging.
"I didn't exactly believe you before," Kirk apologized.
K't'lk and Scotty wandered closer. "-but the acceptance of cause enables you to bring about true alteration-making things other- without the persistence associated with change-"
"It still seems impossible. To alter a universe's whole operationg system by sayin' you want to-"
"Ask, and it shall be given to you," K't'lk said simply.
"It seems so simple, on the surface," Scotty said.
"It is simple, you're just used to it being confusing."
Elle giggled. "Time is space is thought because I say so," she said.
"See? She gets it." K't'lk pointed at her with a spindly crystalline leg. "Simple."
"Aye, but she's a special case, Elle's already got the knowledge."
K't'lk nodded. "That is a conundrum I've been pondering. Who's to say this entire experience hasn't sprung fully formed from Elle's own mind because that's what she expected to find?"
Elle blinked. "But I wasn't expecting it."
"On some level, you must have been. You already know what that is, don't you?" K't'lk asked, and pointed to the being about a hundred meters away, a zone of brilliant not-light that stretched on in all directions, infinite and unchanging.
Just looking at it gave Elle monster goosebumps. "Proto-god," she said.
"Can you stop saying that?" McCoy asked.
"That's what it is," Elle said. She stepped forward a bit and tapped on the being with her mental willpower. Hello?
Kirk tugged her back behind the senior officers. "Hold on a minute," he said sternly.
The being didn't reply. It didn't even know they were there.
"We can't fix the hole between universes without warning that being to get out of the way," K't'lk said solemnly.
"We need to communicate with it," Kirk said.
Elle shook her head. "It doesn't understand communication."
"Well, let's try it."
Vulcan, Sadrao, Caitian, English, Russian, Hamalki, nothing.
"What are we missing, Elle?" Kirk asked.
Elle closed her eyes, trying to get this right. Words mattered here. Spock'd already dissolved his tricorder on accident, she didn't want to harm this new being or any of the Enterprise crew. "We can't communicate with it, because it doesn't know that we're here. It doesn't even know there's a here, or an us, or a self. It doesn't know that it's alive itself, captain. We need to teach it self-awareness first, and then inventing, and then communication."
"Teaching self-awareness might be dangerous," McCoy warned. "With that kind of power, who knows what it could create?"
"It won't harm us once it understands," Elle replied confidently. "How could it? We're going to be friends."
Uhura wrapped an arm around Elle's shoulders. "With that confidence, sir, I'm willing to try and communicate with it."
Kirk nodded. "Spock?"
"Yes, captain."
A crewmember, a Sadrao with no concept of time except 'now', stepped forward to volunteer. The three of them mind-melded and stepped forward to try and teach this infinite being its own existence.
Elle stepped back a few paces, away from the concentrating trio. It's like Galactus, or a cosmic entity from Marvel, a sort of omnipotent, primal source of energy, far superior to any other energy being we've encountered. Is this a Q that never got started? Somehow she knew that wasn't it.
There was a stillness in the air, four hundred and thirty people holding their collective breaths in anticipation. The tension grew, and grew, the brightness growing impossibly brighter, searing eyes and minds and hearts with intensity.
Elle wanted to sneeze, or laugh, but she was trapped in the Now, in the demand to create, to exist, to Be, Spock's calm logic underlaying it all, and-
Something snapped, and the three of them screamed, and all Chaos broke loose.
Elle clapped her hands over her ears in a vain attempt to shield herself from the instinctual assault, but the being's fear overrode every mental shield, made the space around them thick and choking- they had to stop it. STOP! she cried, towards the creature. STOP! You're hurting us! If this continued, the Enterprise and all its crew would be lost, and that Could. Not. Happen.
"Elle!" Kirk picked her up and Chekov and Scotty surrounded her. "Together!" he commanded.
The four of them, united in their wholehearted desire to protect the Enterprise, launched a counterattack like Thor's hammer against an enemy. Again, and again, until the assault on their minds stopped. The air cleared.
Elle couldn't do anything else but sit on the ground and breathe, mentally exhausted. McCoy came over to her and helped her up, his strange healing powers soothing the ragged edges of her mind. "We did it," Elle said, frowning. "It knows it's alive, but-" her voice broke. "Now it's scared." She stepped forward instinctively. "It's okay," she told it, using the same voice she did with Simba. "It's okay, godlet. We're not here to hurt you." She reached out with her regret, and her offering of friendship, of kindness.
It reacted, barely, and retreated.
Uhura rested a hand on Elle's shoulder. "Let us try, sweetheart."
The trio stepped forward again, a gentle demand to Speak to us, be known, don't be afraid, speak, who are you-
The sheer power in the call made Elle want to speak, to blurt out her name, but she clapped her hand over her mouth.
Finally, after what seemed an endless time, there came a thought, a single concept, small and trilling like a child's voice. We are who are, the being said.
Elle smiled.
-at least we were. Until you came.
Spock stepped forward. Spock, the one who was an ambassador in the Later, who spoke precise, elegant Vulcan. "You still are," he assured it gently. "We do not threaten that. Do us no more harm. We wish no harm to youu."
He explained what, who, they were, and what would happen to the universes.
Just as quickly as the Being's delight rose at the idea of Us All, Together! it fell at the concept of Us, Alone Again. Sadness turned to anger, and Elle flinched in preparation of another mental attack.
But, McCoy saved the day with a good fit of Southern-momma yellin', as he liked to call it, and shamed the Being into standing down. "You're so much more than fear and death," he said, his voice aching with compassion.
Sorrow swept through the mindscape. Us, alone, the Being agreed wistfully.
"No," Elle said, stepping forward again. "We can help you. That's why we're here."
"Elle?" Kirk asked.
She pointed to K't'lk. "We have a creative physicist. That's why we're here. it was always going to be like this. We can give them their own universe, other people to be and to be with."
K't'lk's chime sounded wry. "You see, captain, I am indeed paying the consequences for breaking the laws of phyiscs. I will have to write them now."
The senior officers debated about ethics and the Prime Directive for a minute, trying to decide exactly what to do, and Elle just looked at the Being. The big Them. "Hello," she said quietly.
Hello, they replied. Who-what are You?
"I'm Elle," she said.
You know Us?
"Kind of," Elle said. "I knew you were here."
But We did not know We were here. They sounded eager. You invent-create-think Us?
Elle shook her head. "I don't think I did. I'm from another universe, myself."
Not with them-newOld-selfs?
"No, I'm from another set of Selfs," Elle replied. Communicating in half-telepathic concepts was more difficult than it sounded.
You-self create-invent them, too?
"No," Elle said ruefully. "I haven't created anything yet besides some art."
Art?
Elle thought of paintings, sculptures, drawings, photographs. "Art," she said, and offered them to the Being.
Pretty!!
Elle smiled. "Yes."
Want-need-wish art for ourSelf, the Being said wistfully.
"You'll have some," Elle assured them. "You'll create much better things than my little projects."
The Being regarded her for a moment, solemn, and the intensity of their gaze made Elle breathless. You are like Us, it said. Alone, not alone. You will create, like we will.
Elle bowed her head. "I hope so," she said.
"Are we ready?" Kirk asked, coming up to her.
Elle stepped back, let K't'lk have some room.
The crystal spider chimed up at Elle. "Watch carefully," she said. "I don't know if it's because you have the mind of a child, open still to many things, or if it's because of your previous knowledge, but you'll get this, more than any of these others, even dear Sc'tty."
"I will," Elle said. "Happy creating."
K't'lk laughed. "Creating is always joyful," she said, and began to sing.
In this infinite, timeless space where all things were one, Elle could understand the Hamalki as she sang. It was equations, pure math, each note clear as, well, crystal. Elle could sense the intent behind the numbers, even if she didn't understand the math itself. K't'lk was seeking the answer to something in the future.
Cause doesn't always come before effect, Elle remembered. A creation paradox?
K't'lk's notes became clearer, more confident. She'd found whatever she was looking for.
Elle watched in amazement as the glass spider began to literally weave the fabric of spacetime together, setting the arrow of time on its way, pulling energy together and making it matter, making the framework that would be a self-sustaining, self-generating universe. It was a masterpiece. The masterpiece.
They stood there for what seemed like an eternity in itself, feeling the new universe come to life around them, spellbound, until finally K't'lk stopped singing. "The framework is done," she said. "Look inside yourselves, and give them your gifts."
Each crewmember chose a memory to give to the Being, at the Being's request.
Elle was flooded with the memories of others' best days, their triumphs, their tender moments, and happy tears slid down her face. She thought of her own best day of her life. She couldn't think of her parents, those memories would always be tinged with sadness, she didn't want to give Them anything flavored of loss, so she chose another day.
Stuffed to the gills with good food and marshmallows, most of the group retired to their tents for the night. Elle wasn't quite sleepy yet so she huddled closer to Spock on the log. He let her lean against him, probably because he was cold, too.
She watched the flickering campfire and let her eyes drift upwards, following the tendrils of smoke as they snaked upwards to the night sky. Even with the campfire you could see the stars shining like diamonds. And there, moving in a slow, lazy arc, were the station and the Enterprise, the largest dots of light in the sky.
Elle yawned. And then she yawned again. And then again.
McCoy chuckled. "I think it's time for bed, sweetheart."
"Yeah, I'guess," Elle mumbled, standing up. She kissed Kirk absently on the cheek in passing and did the same to McCoy. She went into the tent she was sharing with Lt. Campbell and fell into her sleeping bag.
Just before she fell asleep she heard, "Jim, are you crying?"
"No," was the hasty reply. "I just, she's come a long way."
Elle realized then what she'd just done. She blushed hotly and pulled the sleeping bag up to her nose. It didn't seem like they'd minded, though. She went to sleep.
When she opened her eyes, Kirk was smiling at her. "That was your best memory?" he asked.
She shrugged, suddenly shy. "What could be better than my three space dads and marshmallows?" she asked, and he hugged her.
The Being regarded them almost humbly. We did not realize We were so poor, now to be so rich... thank you.
Kirk inclined his head. "Our pleasure." He looked at K't'lk. "Can we go home now?"
She laugh-chimed. "One more thing," she said. "I have to weave together a coupling for Their power to the physical universe, make it self-sustaining."
"How?" Kirk asked.
"Through me," K't'lk said simply.
"But that much power," Scotty protested.
"Yes, that much power," K't'lk said. "I'll likely be dissolved, but what a way to go. You'll need to make smaller jumps using the drive back into the Milky Way's Alpha Quadrant, and once there, don't use the drive again. I'll be able to repair all the damage to the unvierses and start this one all at the same time."
"But lass," Scotty protested.
"I caused this," the crystalline engineer reminded him gently, half-hugging him. "I must cause this, too."
He bowed his head in acceptance.
Spock and the captain added their goodbyes. K't'lk turned to Elle. "Remember this," she said, reaching up to tap Elle's forehead with one delicate crystal claw. "Time and space and thought and intent, that's all you need to make yourself a universe, if you ever find yourself in need of another one, or of fixing the one you find yourself in."
Elle smiled faintly. "Easy peasy," she said.
K't'lk jangled a laugh and turned to address the whole crew. "Notice each other, people. What you see is who you are, and it'll be a while before you see each other like this again." She turned and walked away into the brilliance, a tiny figure sparkling in the ether until she was swallowed up by the light.
Elle turned to look at the crew, the assortment of glowing, beautiful, unique beings that made up the Enterprise. She turned to Kirk, Spock, and McCoy, and saw them as the really were, a triumvirate, three parts of a whole, noble, dedicated to serving the universe.
"It is fairly unlikely we will remember this with any clarity," Spock said, mostly to Jim. "The lack of entropy allows us to hold it without any interference or degradation of the senses. But the experience itself, the intensity-" he shook his head.
"Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter," Elle quoted, taking one last look around at the people around her, glowing in their selves.
"Indeed," Spock said quietly.
"I'll remember," Elle said. "I will, I promise."
"I'm sure you will, ax'nav," Spock said, resting a hand on her shoulder.
The music began again, and if K't'lk's lone singing before was a masterpiece, this... this was beyond words, a chorus made of Them, with one crystalline voice leading the way. It grew and grew, filling Elle's being with music and light until there was nothing but energy-
Time and space burst forth and the blinding light swallowed verything. One Being split into Beings, each one a part of a Whole. Darkness fell, and grew, and spread outwards, and instantaneously, light began to spring forth, galaxies and superclusters, clouds of dust and gas and-
Elle flew backwards, hard, and landed in her chair, on the Rec Deck, an empty ginger ale glass in front of her. "Whoa."
Harb Tanzer came over to her, looking the same as he ever did. "Seems like it worked," he said genially. "You okay?"
Elle wiggled her fingers. No glow. "I feel like my brain is stuffed with cotton wool," she said, after a second.
He huffed a laugh. "Good thing, too. I wouldn't want to be telepathic on a regular basis."
Elle got up and moved to the window. The Lesser Magellanic looked normal, no sign of rips or entropic shenanigans. "I guess she did it," she said, and strangely felt like bursting into tears.
Harb patted her on the back and handed her a tissue. "Go and have yourself a good cry, a shower, and come back and I'll make you some mac'n'cheese," he said. "Then you can play some nice Mario Kart with Moira."
"Sounds good," Elle sniffed, and took her overwhelmed teenage hormones to her quarters.
-/\-
Elle didn't even end up crying. How could you grieve when K't'lk had gone out in a literal blaze of glory, doing what she loved, doing something literally no one else would get to do? Elle closed her eyes, trying to remember the sensation of witnessing the Big Bang. It was still there, and so were the afterimages of everyone's glowy self. She fixed them in her memory and found herself crying a little bit anyway out of sheer overwhelmedness.
She did take a nap though, after her shower, and went back to Rec for the promised mac'n'cheese.
The Enterprise stayed outside the Lesser Magellanic for a day, running instrument checks, rebooting systems and checking on the affected systems. Everything was perfectly fine.
And in the evening, they had K't'lk's memorial service. Spock conducted the service, and Scotty cried into Uhura's shoulder. Elle stood with Sulu and Chekov and barely cried at all.
-/\-
They hopscotched back to the Alpha Quadrant within a matter of hours. Elle didn't feel any strange effects from the Inversion Drive, thank goodness.
She was in the Yeomen's offices when the news came. K't'lk was alive! Well, her daughter-self anyway, the spun glass egg she'd left on a shelf somewhere.
"She's so small and cute!" Yeoman Barrows said. "You should've seen her and Scotty speaking engineer faster than anyone else can keep up."
Elle smiled. "Life finds a way," she quoted.
Their arrival in the solar system came with an honor guard of starships, all present to hail the returning heroes. The Enterprise docked in Spacedock and the senior officers went off to debrief about the Drive.
Elle beamed down to Iowa, the Kirk farm, and pet the various farm animals until the captain came back for dinner, Spock and McCoy in tow. "How'd it go?" Elle asked.
Kirk gave her a tired smile. "You are now the proud owner of a quarter of a million credits," he said.
Elle stared. "What?"
"The prize money for making it to a new galaxy," McCoy explained.
"Oh. Cool. Does that mean I could buy my own ship?"
Kirk gave her a Look. "And what's wrong with the one you have?" he demanded, mock-sternly.
Elle smiled. "Absolutely nothing at all. The Enterprise is the best ship ever."
"And don't you forget it," Kirk said proudly.
They stayed another week on Earth. Elle got to visit Mrs. McCoy again, who obligingly stuffed Elle full of good Southern food, and Chekov took her to Russia to see the sights.
Other than the homecooked food though, Elle was glad to return to the Enterprise.