Notes: I fully intend to try and get this fic finished before the remake comes out. I make no promises though.
Thank you to everyone who has read and commented on this fic, I appreciate it even if I have forgotten to respond.
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Sometime between point A and Point B (when exactly Cid doesn't fucking know), Cloud acquires a gold chocobo and instead of figuring out what the fuck they should do with the huge materia, they go to the Golden Saucer instead. At first, Cid, Vincent and Reeve's robot (and Reeve by extension) stand in a corner griping about idiots getting distracted by shiny. Vincent just happened to be in the corner Cid and the robot wanted, and didn't bother to walk off. Then Cid heard a rumor about a rare tea being served to the jockeys and Cid became the idiot he was griping about.
Turned out the rumor was true, but the tea itself was weak and watery, barely worth the effort it took to convince Cloud and Tits that he wanted a turn riding the giant fucking bird. However it was fun rubbing his win in that asshole's fucking face after the race was over.
"Can we fucking get on with it now?" Cid complained, a cigarette hanging out of his mouth as he glared at his dumbass leader. Cloud smiled and proceeded to win twenty more races.
Cid was awarded three cases of their special tea when he and the robot managed to drag their idiots back to the Highwind.
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Continuing the trend of we don't know what we're doing because we are dumbasses, instead of listening to Cid, they ended up in the middle of fucking nowhere again. This time instead of finding a house with a raving lunatic in it, they found a cave with Sephiroth's mother.
Cid didn't know his life could get any fucking weirder than it already was, but that just goes to fucking show him what he knows. Sephiroth's mother might be a giant fucking weirdo who lives in a cave, could also possibly be a vampire and dated -Vincent- of all people (Cid thinks the latter speaks more of her character than any of the other things, Vincent's easily the most fucked up of the entire group), but she also knew the importance of proper hospitality. She ushered the group into another part and offered them all a cup of tea before she and Vincent fucked off to do whatever it is possible vampires and were-monsters do in a fucking cave.
The tea is not the best he's ever had, but it's pretty fucking decent for being cave vampire tea. Vincent came back alone with a gun. Nobody even thinks about asking for an explanation.
Cid takes the rest of the tea. Vincent can fucking bite him (as long as emo isn't contagious).
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When they ended up on the submarine again, Cid thought, maybe Cloud knows something we don't. When they found the giant weird spikey thing underneath an island, Cid felt vindicated for having faith in their maybe-crazy leader. Then they found the crashed Gelnika, which not only still had breathable air, but was filled with monsters. And Turks, but they were beaten easily in comparison to the monsters.
After one of the monsters turned into a cup of fucking tea, that is when Cid gave up on any of this making any fucking sense (cause he could take the robot, he could take the talking dog, but this was where he drew the line). He did, however, find the equipment he needed to call in a fucking air strike, so it wasn't a complete loss. And once the ninja survived drinking the fucking monster tea, it turned out to be pretty good as well.
Cloud insisted that the tea boosted their stats or some stupid shit like that (Cid didn't know if Cloud didn't make sense because he wasn't paying attention or if Cloud really was crazy), so they spent longer than was probably wise wandering around the labyrinthine corridors of the plane. Just long enough for Cid to decide that he doesn't need to be paying attention to know if the stupid kid is making sense or not (he's not).
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Cid had been expecting a lot from Cosmo Canyon's tea, considering how in touch with the planet they were rumored to be. Not to mention that Red was the only one who understood the importance of tea and proper hospitality. So yes, Cid was greatly anticipating the meal after they discussed the planet.
He was not disappointed. Not only did they carefully select the tea they brewed, but the water was high quality as well. No sweeteners, of course, but still very good. It almost made up for the fact that the meal was nothing but plain, unseasoned vegetables.
Red XIII looked way too smug once the meal was over and Cid hadn't insulted anything or anyone. Cid let him revel in his victory as he, Bugenhagen, and Reeve (through his annoyance of a robot) started talking shop. Next thing he knew, they were sketching out the blueprints and arguing over whose theories were right (well he and Reeve were, Bugenhagen was watching them and laughing).
Not as good as drinking tea in space, but even with trash-talking with Reno.
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The last time they were at the city of ancients, Cid had gathered up a fair amount of the weeds Aerith had introduced him to while they were dealing with the aftermath of Cloud's breakdown. He hadn't used them, but he had passed the seeds off to someone in Rocket Town and had dried the rest.
Now that they were back, he carefully brewed it like Aerith had taught him over the campfire as Bugenhagen wandered about and everyone else tried to make it look like they weren't thinking about the hole in their party and failed. A makeshift shrine was erected on the shore of the lake.
He would have never thought of using water materia to create drinkable water, but she did. He would've never even looked at these weeds when he was craving a drink, but she did. The stuff about Ancients and the Planet went right over his head (because he didn't give a fuck), but he knew that she was special.
The water boiled, the tea was brewed to perfection. They all gathered about the campfire, waiting. He took out the cups and very carefully doctored each to every person's preference.
His own had a fourth of a cup of sugar, because tea wasn't tea unless it was sweet. Cloud's was done the same way because he was going to teach that fucking kid some good taste if it killed him. Tifa's he very carefully diluted, she hated the strong stuff. Barret took three spoons sugar and cream, almost like coffee, but he drank it so Cid wasn't going to fucking judge. Red (and therefore Bugehagen) took his straight. Yuffie took half a cup of sugar, because she was a fucking maniac. Vincent pretended he took his straight like Red, but he liked a little cream and a larger amount of sugar in it.
"To Aerith," Cid said, holding his cup up after everyone had theirs. "To Aerith," everyone echoed, raising their own cups in unison.
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Midgar, the city of rotten dreams and broken promises.
There wasn't time for tea, with all the fucking fighting and walking and even more fucking fighting. With every step he took, Cid was further resolved to put his spear up someone's fucking ass and out their goddamn throat. Reno took one look at his face and very calmly walked away.
As soon as the Turks were out of sight, his fucking PHS dinged with a notification (A heart emoticon sent from Reeve), then his worse nightmare appeared. Another of Reeve's stupid fucking robots with a teapot with that dumbass flower blooming in it.
Cid told him where he could shove it (He drank the tea anyway).
"You're fucking creepy, you know that?" Cid said to Cait as Cloud and Tifa pummeled yet another monster into a paste. His PHS dinged again, this time with a :D.
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Five years later, we finally come to the end of disc 2. Yay me.
Also: aside from the ancient's weed-tea, I have a clear idea of what blend/flavor the tea in each scene is. Might release that list as bonus after I finish everything.