Denison, Texas

"Sue Ellen?" bored and restless, JR wandered outside in search of his wife. Much to his disappointment, her earlier explanation of the purpose of their weekend away from Southfork hadn't been an exaggeration, and in the few hours they had been at the lake house, they really hadn't talked or spent time together outside of being parents to John Ross. After a quick dinner together, speaking only about general topics, they had separated for a while as JR gave John Ross his bath and Sue Ellen cleaned and tidied the kitchen and dining room. They had then spent a little time together reading John Ross a story and feeding him before putting him to bed, and almost immediately after doing so, Sue Ellen had had made a quick comment about going outside for some air and then separated herself for some alone time. That had been over an hour ago and since he hadn't had quite as much time to plan and pack for their weekend away, JR hadn't even really thought about bringing any books, work paperwork or other items to entertain himself with during their downtime earlier when he was packing, and now, inevitably, he was fidgety and bored. There was only so much attention he could pay to investigating the miscellaneous items that remained in the house from previous family vacations before he lost interest. He hated not having anything to do and he hated thinking about the fact that his wife was in such close proximity but was avoiding him. After a good amount of time procrastinating and thinking about it though, he decided that the situation couldn't really get much worse than what it already was, and he'd never know what she was thinking if he didn't at least try to find out, so heading outside, he called her name and looked around. Spotting her sitting by the pool, looking out over the lake, he knew she was probably deep in thought, because since it was long past sunset, it was dark and honestly, although the lake was pretty, right now, there wasn't much to see.

Jumping slightly as he sat down next to her, Sue Ellen turned toward her husband and smiled shyly, her embarrassment growing as he explained himself. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to scare you. I did call your name", offering an apology, JR took her lack of argument or hostility as a sign to sit down next to her, and when she let out a small sigh of what he assumed to be relief and then laughed a little, he was pleased, she wasn't upset by his presence. "I… I didn't hear you. You scared me a little, though thinking about it now, it sounds so silly", having been completely lost in thought, she honestly hadn't heard or noticed him until he was right there, standing and then sitting beside her, however, now that she knew, she was surprisingly ok with it. Her thoughts had been mostly about their marriage and the issues that they faced because of JR's inability to tell the truth and live virtuously, however, although she was angry with JR, their sessions with Doctor Williams and her general empathy for him as a person lessened the severity of those feelings. It was clear to her that JR's want to make things better for them was honest and his father's refusal to help them do so was really hurting him, however, she was still having a little trouble reconciling those thoughts and working out where to go to from there. The truth was, she loved JR and she wanted to be with him, but she didn't want to have to deal with the trouble that seemed to constantly surround them. She didn't want to have to worry about whether he was being faithful to her, but she also didn't want to have to be suspicious of his motives when she believed he was being faithful to her, and she didn't want to have to question whether he was withholding information from her or purposely deceiving her. At the heart of it, she wanted them to be a happily married couple, but for some reason, there was always something to get in the way of them attaining that status, at least for long periods of time. In general, she loved the Ewing family, she loved the ranch and she loved that JR was so powerful and passionate about his role in the oil industry, however, the general idea of each of those things was often more pleasant than the reality and she was sick of dealing with the less pleasant realities. Thinking about it so often only made everything more confusing though, because most of the time, she ended up going in circles and coming out feeling more uncertain than she did to begin with.

Sensing that despite her general ease at his presence, Sue Ellen wasn't exactly relaxed, JR felt nervous and guilty again, however, remembering something Doctor Williams had told him many times, he decided not to dwell on the negatives of the situation, a lot of which was focused on the past, and instead, try to make a difference to their future. He had to show her that he was capable of being the husband she deserved, not just repeatedly tell her that he was sorry and would do better. "It's not silly, I know what it's like to be so deep in thought or so engrossed in an activity that you become desensitised to everything around you. I'm sorry I scared you, I really just came outside to check that you were ok and see whether you needed anything, I didn't mean to startle you". Bending the truth a little, leaving out the part of his motivation that had to do with his antsiness, he was actually a little relieved when Sue Ellen let out a small laugh and responded to his comment in a much more light-hearted tone than their former exchange, "it's fine, I'm fine, no harm done. I'm actually a little surprised that you didn't appear earlier. Not that I was willing you to, but from previous experience, whether we were on good terms or not, you and I never lasted too long alone together without something happening". Speaking as she continued to look out at the darkness and the lake, Sue Ellen didn't even need to turn to look at her husband to know that he had a confused look on his face; her general observations had a way of sounding like invitations for something more, even when they weren't necessarily meant that way. Relaxing a little, JR was both confused and happy, he didn't understand her at all sometimes, but he wasn't going to question why she had suddenly changed tone, especially not when it was a good change; this was the least formal conversation they'd had for a while and he was happy to be having it.

To be continued…