Don't Own Borderlands, Only The Oc.

'thought'

"Speech"

System

"Speech through echo devices and Text via book, notes, or newspaper... when those are around..."

(Mid Chapter Authors Notes)

This has spoilers in passing for borderlands 3, so if you haven't played it or seen the plot of borderlands 3 via youtube or some other video service and you DON'T want to be spoiled, stop reading now... but considering the game has been out for several month now... you'd have to literally live under a rock NOT to know the full story at this point...

'Is this... for real?'

I am currently sitting cross-legged on the floor of my room, as when I had tried to stand up moments ago, I was jump-scared ruthlessly.

I tilt my head slightly as I gaze at a blue floating screen in front of me, the first word at the top of the screen glowing like gold with small sparkles radiating from it.

CONGRATULATIONS!

You have been selected via our monthly lottery system to be placed into another world!

"…"

"What?"

Every month, we pick ten lucky humans to be sent to another world! Some with fun abilities and overpower items, while some are just granted a new body to start fresh! And you, sir- your name is unimportant because it is going to be changed shortly- have won the JACKPOT!

"What?"

Every human who is unsatisfied with their life is entered into a world-wide lottery to see if they can change their fate, and you, soul number 2938588 (Of unsatisfied souls) have won the GRAND PRIZE of this month's lottery!

I stare at the screen with narrowed eyes and get up, ignoring the screen as I walk to the kitchen of my shitty apartment and get a glass of tap water.

Hello? Are you... ignoring this?

I rub my eyes slightly, 'ugh... is there a gas leak or something?'

You don't think this is real? Understandable! So, we have taken the time to grant you some proof of our legitimacy.

I raise an eyebrow at this.

Look in your glass of water!

I look down to see a crystal eight-sided dice made of some sort of black crystal with gold numbering.

"What the fuck?"

So, you believe us now?

"…"

"Sure." I sigh as I reach into the glass and pull out the dice, then I take a simple drink of water.

If you do not wish to be transported to another world, you will simply forget about all of this... you have a day to decide

"No," I let out a small sigh and set down my glass on the table as I take a seat in one of the chairs, waving my hand towards the screen in a shoo-shoo manner. "Do the thing then, I am tired of this world."

Grand! Please present your dice!

I look down at the table where I had placed the dice and slowly pick it up, the screen morphing to show a small black diamond slot that I wordlessly insert the d8 into.

I blink once as nothing seems to happen, but when I re-open my eyes, I am in a dark void, surrounded by small galaxies that are slowly spinning around me.

A female voice makes itself known.

"As the grand prize winner, you get to pick, the world you are being sent to, an item, and a skill/ability to help you on your way!"

"Now, what item to you wish to have?"

"…" I briefly flinch at the sudden noise, but accept it as that wouldn't be the strangest thing that has happened to me today.

"Wouldn't it be better to decide the world first? That way I can have an item and skill that fits nicely with the world so I am not too much of an oddball?"

"Hm, sure, sounds nice! So, where do you wish to go?"

'Hm, let's compile a short list of tv shows, games, movies, and anime that I have seen or played...'

'Tv shows and movies elude me... so let's do games! Touhou? Mn... I know literally nothing about that world, I haven't even really played it so all I know is that Yukari can kill you with bullshit... so maybe not there... Borderlands? Hm...'

'Skyrim? Tempting... it is definitely tempting.'

'Spyro, Crash, and Ratchet and Clank are out, I'm not a furry. and I had the Hyperdimension Neptunia games on my steam account because of a sale and me swearing I was going to eventually play them, but I barely played even the first one... so that's out... shame, I never did get to play them, did I?'

I tap my chin.

'might as well move onto animes... My Hero Academia? No. Quirk law, All For One, and Bad Touch Man is a mega turn off. Dragon Ball? Pfft- it sounds cool, but when planet busting becomes a meager feat and power suction goat appears- which is a dumb fucking villain by the way-... I'm fucking out!... Roshi blew up the moon in dragon ball when his power level was like two-hundred! POWER SCALING IS TOTAL BULLSHIT!'

'Toriko? I only saw up to like the end of the English dub... but the food... though, the bird-anteater-robot-plague-mask-monsters scared me as a child'

'…'

'putting it under a 'maybe'.'

'One piece? Naah I would probably live out the dream of punching a celestial dragon in the face... then get utterly fucked by overpowered admiral bullshit...'

'Jojo's? Mn... stando-powah is tempting... but four seasons take place over like one hundred and fifty years so that's a big 'no' unless I want to waste my ability or item on immortality... Fairytail? The time skip would give me a lot of time to myself... and I do sort of want to figure out why the hell Draco, Hydrus, and the Pheonix aren't important celestial spirit keys... but no, Immortal foes who can kill people by loving too hard and the damn EVERYTHING DRAGON SLAYER of Acnologia is a big no for me.'

'That time I got reincarnated as a slime? Fitting, but no...'

'Konosuba?'

'…'

'PFFAHAHAHAHHA!'

'One Punch Man? A cool world in theory, but probably poor in execution... a place where monsters literally show up everywhere is sort of bad... though having to work my way up through the ranks to S rank would be pretty cool... but Saitama... a gimmick character that can one-shot you regardless...'

'if I want waifus, I could always go to Dxd~! mn... fighting gods is a little eck though.'

'Pokemon or digimon? They could be swapped fairly easily, and seem cool, but no, I think I will pass on this one, there isn't really any way to empower humans in those worlds and I really don't want to rely on my partner.'

I pause as I think back over my many choices. 'damn... I am such a weeb...'

I let out another sigh. 'I guess I can sate my lust for hoarding powerful mystical objects in this new life I am being granted... so it is either One Piece, Borderlands, or Skyrim... each have their own number of shinies, but compared to Skyrim, the One-Piece world just seems... bigger... and compared to both of those borderlands seems MUCH larger... considering, yknow, planetary travel n all.'

"I have made my decision!" I exclaim into the milky darkness of space.

The screen appears once more.

"GRAND! What location did you choose?"

"Borderlands."

"Wh- Really?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure?"

"Yep."

"Surely?"

"Yeh."

"…"

"Alright then~ I won't question your death wishes because that world is pretty FUCKED UP."

"It's all a part of my five-step world domination scheme."

"…"

"Are you being... like... serious?"

"Yep!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Well okay then~ what sort of items and abilities do you want?"

"Time stop..."

"…"

"Oh. I can see how and why you feel confident about going into borderlands... but isn't totally busted powers like that more of a... Touhou thing?"

"…"

"Or Jojo thing?"

"Mn."

"Fine then, I assume getting Timestop is your first step?"

"Part of it."

"The item is part two?"

"Yeh."

"Well, what sort of item do you want then? A kickass gun, a summonable loader bot friend, a pet dragon, a bag of holding to store all your sweet loots?"

"I want to be a male Siren."

"Wai wha?"

"I want elaborate black swirly tattoos across half of my body from the neck down that allow me drain all living things of their power."

"…"

"Yes, I am pulling a Tyreen, what of it?" I scoff. "But instead of her normal powers of enhancing herself, I want to be able to do that ANNND create items from the energy stolen.

"Alright... fine. Those two things are acceptable I suppose, considering the place you have subjected yourself to... but you don't get to choose when exactly you appear on pandora, save for the fact you will be appearing at some point in the many games."

"Fair nuff..." I shrug.

"Grit your teeth."

"Wait what do you- AAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHH!"

I sit up with a cold sweat. 'what a strange drea-'

I realize that I am not in my normal apartment room, and instead in some sort of run-down wooden shack laying on a futon that seems to be made of leather stuffed with straw or some other sort of plant life, and I am wrapped up in a blanket made of torn cloth that has been sewn together into multiple layers and using a backpack as a pillow, a cold draft seeping in from the cracks in the wooden walls, from under the door, and a couple small holes in the ceiling that have been shoddily patched with nails and torn pieces of cloth or bandages.

"Oh." A squeaky pre-pubescent voice blinks.

"Oooooh." I sigh, fully realizing that I have most likely been put in the body of a child.

'hn... I guess this is for the best... it said I was at some point in the borderlands game's timeline... so that is anywhere from one to three... and that is... ten years? eleven? If I were to guess the maximum, I would say is twelve.'

'So, if I am ten now... and I'm at the very start of borderlands... I will be twenty-two by the time borderlands three comes around... but I think I am about twelve? So I can be anywhere from twenty four to literally just looking outside and seeing the moon crash into pandora.'

I quickly look down at my hands to reveal... I am wearing a long-sleeved shirt.

'Typical, I guess?'

I pull back the sleeve on my left hand revealing... nothing...

"…"

I pull back the sleeve on my right hand, now noticing black markings that proceed past my wrist on the back of my hand and let out a quiet snort as I see writhing black markings that curl and twist around my arm.

I pull my sleeve down and see that the black marking on the back of my hand seem to stop after about an inch or so past my wrist, except for the centermost one which goes up to my middle finger and curls around the base much like a ring.

'now, how do I activate my powers? Like is it a feeling or like do I have to try and focus-'

I watch as the black line glows purple and quickly trails its way under my sleeve.

"Huh... neat how do I use my time stop though..."

At the current level of ability, you may only stop time for around 5 seconds...

A screen appears in front of me.

'what the actual hell is that?! Do I have the gamer system as well?!'

Negative, this the 'Borderlands Isekai' system, and its screens function like those in the games, allowing you to have a skill tree, Inventory, map, F.P.S. package, Etc~

'…'

"Skills?"

Three skill trees appear in front of me, appearing much like the third game's skill trees, going left to right, there is a green tab, 'Stand Strong' it works on enhancing my body with stolen power, next, the blue tree seems to work with my siren fuckery, and is simply named 'Artificer', and the final tree is the red one just named 'Chronos'.

So, the basics are: Green focuses on survivability and melee, and empowering myself with drained energy, blue on creating better and better items with my siren powers while also increasing the 'succ speed' and the final red tree is... well, it has a skill near the bottom simply just called 'TOKI WO TOMARE' so we know what that's about...

'sidenote: I should really think of a good name for myself...'

I let out a quiet sigh, watching the misty breath go past my lips, then crawl out of my bed and to my full height of about five feet, probably a bit under that however.

'it's sort of chilly...'

I tilt my head and start thinking about the numerous locations I could have landed in as I sit down beside my bed. 'hn... I could always be in the southern shelf... or any of the land near sanctuary... or literally on the opposite side of the planet...'

'you know... I really only played borderlands two and the main story for three... I am kind of fucked, aren't I?'

My vision trails over to the backpack I was using as a pillow, I quickly search through it revealing the whitest of white Jacobs pistols I have ever seen, one of the four shot ones from the third game which you got in the tutorial... I had it wrapped in cloth and the rest of the bag is filled with straw, so that explains how I was able to sleep on it, but otherwise, inside the bag is three packs of beef jerky, two bullets, a couple flasks of water, and finally an echo device.

The gun is loaded, so I have six shots in all.

Hidden under the pillow, is a knife that has been wrapped in loose bandages, probably to prevent myself from accidently cutting my neck and head on it as I slept, but loose enough so that I could swing the blade out and stab anyone who breaks into my little home.

Beside the knife, is a simple black sheath with a button clasp to keep the knife contained.

I lean my head back against the wall behind me and let out a small sigh, then get up and creep over to a boarded-up window, then peek out through a small gap near the bottom.

'Snow... but I sort of expected that with the draft and al- oh my god there's a masked bastard meandering towards my house with a buzzaxe.'

I grab my knife and simply cower next to the door on the same side as the hinges so I don't get fucking BASHED with it if it is kicked open.

'as for names? namey names... for my name...'

'I'm thinking...'

'sbeve.'

'ah yes, the mighty vault-hunter sbeve... and his adventure to slay the Calypso twins... or Jack... or the destroyer- taking care not to eat the destroyer considering how well it turned out for other people'

'but really, an actual name, please?'

'…'

'hn... David could work, but I-'

*CRASH*

My door is kicked open as the psycho walks into the room, only to trip and faceplant as I grab his shin with my SUCC hand and stab him in the knee with my stabby knife-wielding hand.

"MY SPLEEN TICKLES!"

I watch blankly as he thrashes around and red ooze starts running up my hand and into my tattoos, his flailing seem to be getting weaker.

*Crack*

He freezes, skin and clothing turning a sickly grey and hardening as if he was made of stone... because it is made of stone now... he also seems to have chunks of Eridium poking from his back and around the back of his leg where I grabbed him.

'holy shit... I just killed a man... and I feel... FUCKING GREAT! Like what the hell is this feeling?!'

I pause. 'this isn't normal... maybe I am just desensitized to their deaths at this point or maybe it is the positive reinforcement of the high I get afterwards?'

"…"

I attempt to slide the prone statue out of my home, but... it really isn't budging at all, so I had to settle for turning him slightly so I could at least close the door.

I look at my right hand and clench my fist. 'I... could get used to this feeling.'

In the distance I hear a train blare its horn.

'am I in-' I sharply inhale. 'ah damnit...'

I look out my door to reveal a BIG ASS SKELETON of some dragon demon thing.

'This... could actually be worse... huh... not all that bad, but kind of annoying that goliaths should be around... but with the ability to stop time for five seconds, I should be fiiine... just need to watch out for those pesky Joestars and I'll be good.'

I completely close my door and nod at the prone statue. "Now back to naming myself..."

I am silent for a couple of minutes.

"Hrm... what do you think of David, statue friend?"

He doesn't respond.

"I'm going to go with David..."

I gaze out the window, the falling snow frozen in place throughout the misty air, a single drip from an icicle passing by the cracked window and pausing just in front of the crack, a dropped bullet frozen mid-air after I dropped it.

The bullet hits the floor with a *Clink*, and the water droplet slams into the window sill and splatters across it.

To the side, I see a small icon.

Timestop: Cooldown 60 Seconds

'that is SO COOL'

I had leveled up after I briefly wandered outside and stole energy from a larval varkid amidst a time stop and have started going into the Chronos tree, then twice more after fooling around with my Time stop nonsense.

There are three 'skills' at the bottom.

Reverse Wound: 0/5
After you stop time, you heal 1% of your max hp and gain life regeneration equal to .5% of your max hp per second for the duration of your time stop.

Belated Attack: 3/3
Your attacks within time stop deal 300% increased damage.

Temporal Stability: 0/5
Your ranged attacks within time stop have a 15% increase in accuracy.

Belated Attack seems op as fuck, but it is sort of a little more balanced, when I shoot guns, the bullet only barely travels past the barrel before freezing in place, so the only thing it really effects are Melee attacks and point blank attacks with my pistol, like, I have to press the barrel up against something to actually get that boost.

I glance out the window again, toying with another bullet within my grasp.

I haven't really looked around much, but I am definitely within Tundra Express...

And sort of running out of food and water...

'is it possible to eat a varkid?'

That isn't recommended.

'mnnn.'

I had been crafting ammunition out of the energy I absorb, managing to create four pistol rounds each from the varkid and the psycho... but maybe I could create food?

Like... genuine eatable food?

"…"

"Hrn... might as well try I suppose..."

In the distance I hear quiet gunshots.

'mn... might as well go see what I can scavenge from there...'

I blankly stare down at a several smashed and burning vehicles, a few bandit technical along with a few runners scattered across the field with small pockets of bandits and crimson raiders... it's basically confirmed that I am in borderlands two... or maybe between it and three, but the giant H in the sky says that I am probably slightly before the canon story or a year or two after... but anyways, they are fighting and stuff and-

A gunshot rings out and a random psycho's head explodes as it tries to sprint at the pinned-down crimson raiders and the corpse tumbles to a halt amongst some large rocks.

'was that-'

A bird swoops down and takes the head off another.

'it was.'

I narrow my eyes and shift cautiously in the little crevice between several ice chunks I find myself in.

The bandits attacking the crimson raiders seem to be getting reinforcements from several angles.

I hear footsteps crunching in the snow, quickly nearing my location, they are probably going to pass through here and charge down the incline towards the crimson lance's flank...

I turn around and wait, eventually spotting three psychos... and a marauder... with an assault rifle...

Fuck.

He isn't expecting anyone just yet so he still has it held pointed at the wall, he seems to widen his eyes in recognition as I dive forwards, gun quickly being pointed in my direction as the psychos raise their buzz-axes, one roaring out a challenge of " I'M GOING TO FLOSS MY TEETH WITH YOUR FACE-"

I am within five feet of the marauder leading the small group, he pulls the trigger, causing the gun's muzzle to flash, *BANG* but then everything... stops...

I turn my body out of the way of the frozen bullet as I continue running forwards, I pull the pin off a grenade attached to the marauder's waist with a spin and continue past, pointing my jacobs at the three nearby psychos, firing all four shots as I continue running past, the first two going for headshots as they pause just outside the barrel, while the last two seem to be aimed right for the last psycho's kneecaps.

I continue running as the timestop wears off.

*BANG*

The sound of a single gunshot rings out as the three psychos collapse, two dead, and the marauder fires a couple more bullets forwards with more deafening bangs before realizing I'm not there anymore... then he detonates... violently... taking the last psycho with him as I continue around the bend.

You have leveled up.

I freeze as I come face to face with a badass marauder with a Dahl sniper rifle.

He flinches at my sudden appearance and goes to raise his gun, but with my level up my action skill recharged... meaning that he also freezes as I dash towards him, tossing my revolver aside and reaching for the blade at my lower back as I do so.

He. has. a. shield. I can see it due to the blue bar above his head and name... he is level six apparently.

I immediately tear the square shield off his waist as I near, causing it to... not disappear.

I give a tug on the sniper's barrel, but it isn't going to come out of his grip, so I did the next best thing...

I step past and tug the magazine out, said magazine deconstructing and adding to my 'sniper ammo' count in the bottom corner of my vision, then I simply pull the trigger as I continue past, where I place my palm on his back, the markings on the back of my hand lighting up as it presses against his shield and steadily draining it about two to three percent in a second

Time resumes as his shield immediately crumples, a red blast of energy shooting out from the barrel and scorching a hole in the frosty dirt walls of the little channel he was traveling towards.

red goop is pulled from his back, he grunts in pain and stumbles forwards, my touch is light, so he briefly looks around in confusion, but then gets the stunning realization that I am behind him as he stumbles forwards with a knife in the back of his knee.

He falls forwards, dropping his gun, with me on top of him as I bring up my knife and stab him in the shoulder with it.

He rolls over and backhands me, and it would have hurt if a crackling blue light didn't appear around me and take the blow, causing me to be briefly surprised as a stab the knife into his now exposed neck.

*Crack*

My knife gets stuck as he freezes in place, skin turning a deep stone-grey as eridium crystals protrude through his body, his hand stopped about an inch from the side of my head.

I slowly nod as try to pull it out... but it refuses to budge...

I try again and get similar results.

'fuck... am I really going to have to leave this behind?'

I hear more gunfire closing in so I decide to cut my losses and dash over to my discarded revolver and my new sniper.

I reload the sniper quickly and put it on my back, then as I sprint away, focus on reloading the four-shot revolver.

'To home I go!'

I grin at the gun in my hands.

Liquid Terror [Uncommon]

The system doesn't give me stats like it did in the game, but, a green tier Dahl sniper is pretty good for someone who survived off a white-tier Jacob's pistol for the past four days.

I bet it deals more damage in one shot to the torso, than my Jacobs did in a critical hit... with the bonus from Belated Attack.

But with this new sniper... if I DID crit with Belated Attack...

The base sniper critical hit multiplier is, what? Times four or five? And the average sniper of this level does around fifty to one hundred damage... that is eight hundred to sixteen hundred damage with one shot and this gun has a three-shot burst firing mode... and ten rounds per clip.

"…"

I am silent for about a minute.

I look to the shield clipped to my waist.

Shield [Uncommon]

With this, I'm not just one shot away from death...

I slowly grin. 'it's about time to start grinding.'

I lay prone on a hilltop about a hundred feet from the walls of a bandit camp below, taking deep breaths as I prepare to shoot a goliath meandering along the top of the walls.

*Bang-CRANG*

The gun kicks back, my shield becoming visible as it bashes into my shoulder.

I stop time, stand up, and sprint as fast as I can in the opposite direction, a blank deadpan expression left on my face as I just headshotted the goliath...

Time unfreezes and I hear "Angry! I'M SO GOD DAMN ANGRY!"

That and several other bandit screams...

I unlocked the next tier of 'Chronos'… that's pretty fun, and like borderlands three, I gained some sort of 'perk' I can slap onto my time stop... it simply doubled the time stopped while multiplying the cooldown by one-point-five... so now I stop time for ten seconds... and have a ninety second cooldown.

Kill Sync: 2/3
For every person killed during time stop, your time stop cooldown is decreased by 4%

SHINEII KAKYOIN!: 1/1:
[Melee Override] Whenever you attempt to punch something, you summon a spectral arm to attack your foes, this arm is around two-to-three times stronger than your regular melee.

Pocket Watch of Blood: 0/3:
Every frozen attack within time stop gains an additional 10% damage upon the end of time stop.

I let out a long sigh as I look through the scope of the Liquid Tyrant.

'Two psychos and a marauder... and luckily the marauder doesn't have a shield...'

It is a small patrol... I'm going to take them out really quickly... they are getting sliiiightly too close for comfort.

I stop time and pull the trigger, a red blast of energy shooting from the barrel of my sniper before stopping about a foot away.

I turn and aim for the head of one of the psychos, fire again with similar bullet travel, then focus on the last one, pulling the trigger just as timestop ends.

Their heads explode at nearly the exact same time, a singular gunshot ringing out across the tundra followed by several more ambiance gunshots and explosions in the distances.

I have barely slept at all during my time here.

I glance through the scope again, gazing at the corpse of the marauder in particular. 'any good loot?'

'a common smg... not worth running over there to grab it...'

An explosion shakes the ground somewhere behind me.

"…"

I stand up, turn around, lay down again, sniper rifle pointed down a sheer drop.

'What the FUCK was that?!'

'Shit! There are too many of them.'

I duck behind my blown up outrunner as a couple more moonshots slam into the ground

"ROOOLAND!" The short blond bomb expert currently sitting beside me shouts over the sound of gunfire and explosions... not her explosions however... "THIS FUCKING SUCKS! WHY ARE THOSE HYPER BASTARDS OUT HERE?!"

"I don't know." I grunt as I toss a turret out into the open over my shoulder

"UUUUGH! I bet it was General Rancid! That dude sucks butt!" The girl growls

She pulls a grenade out of her sock and hands it to me. "shawty I need you to toss this for mehz... my arms are made more PIMP SMACKIN not yeeting."

I pull the pin on the grenade and briefly poke my head over the edge of my destroyed outrunner, spot a group of loaderbots and throw.

"TOSS THAT SHIZ!"

It lands at their feet, and about a second later, it blows up, killing three and blowing the legs off another.

"YEET FOR POWER! KOBE FOR ACCURACCY!"

I tug an echo device out of my back pocket and put it in the girls hands. "Tina, try and get in contact with Mordecai, he should still be in this area."

I unload a couple of rounds over the destroyed vehicle and manage to shoot the arm off one of the nearby loaderbots as it prepared to throw a grenade, causing the arm- and active grenade to drop at its feet.

*BOOM*

"MOOOORTY! WE NEED YOUUU!" The girl beside me roars at the echo.

"Oh wow, you guys are in a sticky pickle, hrm?"

"WHATTHEFUCK-" Tina shrieks.

I snap my head around to look at a short black haired boy, black bags under his blue eyes, his clothing slightly tattered, bandages wrapped around one of his arms, he gives me a small wave with his injured arm.

Tina looks over to me and points at boy. "ROLLEY POLLY THIS KID JUST APPEARED OUT OF THIN AIR! MAYBE HE IS A MAGICIAN!"

She looks back to the boy. "MAGICIAN US OUT OF HERE MAGIC CHILD!"

"I'm probably fucking older than you." The boy scoffs.

"IRRELIVENT!"

"Tch-" his right eyebrow twitches "You want to see some fucking magic? Alright then."

He disappears

"Error. Error."

"Critical damage sustained."

"Unit destroyed."

"Requesting repairs."

*B-BOOM* *BOOOOOM*

whatthefuck

"HOW'S THIS FOR SOME FUCKING WIZARDRY!"

"NONONONO STOP! I NEED THOSE!"

"GRENADE LOST!"

*BOOM*

"No! Put that down!"

*RATATATATATATA* "AHAHAHAHAHA!"

"ERR-CHZZZ"

"Target in sight- My arm!-*Clank* OW *Clank* OW *Clank* OW *Clank* Please stop!" *CRUNCH*

"HERE'S A FUCKING PRESENT FOR YOU!"

*BOOM*

"MY ARMS!"

"ITS USELESS!"

The car disappears as Tina and I slowly look behind us to see a car crushing a badass loader as the boy rips a regular loader in half.

He slides between the legs of a badass loader and starts repeatedly punching it in the back.

"USELESS USELESS USELESS USELESS!"

It falls forwards and begins crumpling under his punches, another loader points a gun at him, but it is suddenly quieted as the boy spins around and throws a knife into its eye before I can even raise my gun, causing it to fall backwards, sparks spewing around the knife.

"Stop! I have a family!"

He disappears again and the remaining five loaders suddenly have massive holes in the middle of their torsos, right where their eye should be, and the kid is standing with a foot on the chest of another crushed badass loader.

He points at its eye with his hand, mimicking a gun, shoots it, then stomps on it brutally.

He turns to look over to us with a big grin. "Well, that was fun~"

David

Hey mister? Do you want to... die?

"…"

Tina eventually breaks the silence. "Damn Rolly Polly... he's a complete badass..."

He seemingly instantly ignores us and begins sifting through the scrap metal he just created.

"Hrn... where's all the good shit!" I growl to myself as I rip off the panel of one of the badass loaders. "You would think that maaaybe one of these badasses would have something but noooo all I got was shitty mass-produced assault rifles and smgs..."

"Ahem."

I look up with slightly narrowed eyes. "The fuck do you want?"

"I would like to thank you for helping out there, I don't know who you are, but damn you have impeccable timing."

I give him a half-lidded stare. "No problem."

I glance around him to the short psychopath and watch as she looks anywhere but me.

I look back to Roland. "So... what's an anorexic dwarf and a French dude doing out here?"

"THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL MY HOME BOY?!" Tina shouts in the background. "HELL NAH! I KNOW YOUR BITCH ASS DIDN'T JUST CALL HIM FRENCH!"

"TINA!" Roland growls.

I snort. "Alright, she's pretty funny..."

"DAMN STRAIGHT!"

"But you didn't answer my question." I deadpan.

"My home got iced ovah and we're gonna fix it!" The blond exclaims.

"Mn..." I hum. "Well, good luck with that."

I go back to sifting through the scrap.

I pick up a loader's arm and make it bend at the elbow and unbend, then I simply toss it behind me.

"What is a kid like you doing all alone out here?" Roland asks.

"Well, hrm... I sort of live here? In like a wooden box... it's pretty nice... chilly though." I shrug. "I stay out here because I really have no place to go, no family... y'know pandora's a bitch an all~"

I pick up a grenade from the wreckage

Incendiary Longbow [Rare]

"Hrn... this is pretty good..." I mutter to myself as I press the grenade against my echo device, causing it to deconstruct and disappear.

"Ohoho? what's this?" I pull a Hyperion SMG from the hands of another downed loaderbot.

The Bane [Unique]

"AAA-"

I fling the weapon as hard as I can, causing Tina and Roland to blankly look at me for a moment.

"RELOADIN-"

*Wilhelm Scream*

It skips across the ground steadily getting farther and farther away as the voice quiets.

"FUCK THAT CURSED PIECE OF SHIT!"

I stand up with a growl and cross my arms over my chest. "I swear that gun is stalking me..."

I glance back to the two crimson raiders. "Well, I'm going to get out of your hair, I need to go and figure out how many Varkids I need to kill before I can build a castle out of their corpses."

"Oi! Oi! Hows 'bout you come with us!" The tiny one asks. "We bee'z needing some badasses to help us de-ice my home!"

"Mn, I'd rather not-" My stomach chooses this moment to growl loudly.

"…"

"I think have a box of takeout in my fridge." She shrugs.

My shoulders slump. "Alright I'll help you fuckers."

"That's the spirit!" She grins before looking over to Roland. "Alright, Rolly Polly, let's go get that buzzard fuel!"

"Right..." Rolland sighs, probably mildly annoyed that he has to deal with TWO wacky pre-teens now instead of just one.

"Soooo, what's your guy's names?"

"I'm Tina!"

"I'm Roland, the commander of the crimson raiders."

"That's a pretty long last name... how do you even spell that?" I ask.

"…"

"Come on." He says as he glances over his shoulder at Tina, "We don't have a runner anymore, so we are going to have to walk..."

I shake my head and follow along after the two of them, glancing about at the snowy icebergs and massive ribcages. "So? what's the plan?"

"I have a metal blast door so we are just going to slather the ice in gasoline and light it on fire." Tina explains.

"..." I allow my eyes to wander for a couple moments before freezing as i catch sight of something in the sky.

"Hey... Roland, was it?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think we could move this along just a bit? I really don't want to fight whatever that is."

"Whatever wh-"

He glances to me, sees me pointing at something, and turns to look into the sky, where a massive fireball is quickly making its way towards our position.

"Oh... yeah, that is pretty bad..."

"That's a big... Robot." Tiny Tina murmurs.

"Flee in terror?" I ask.

"I'm down." Tina shrugs.

"Two votes for yes is the majority." I hum.

"AAAAAAA-" I shout as I dash forwards past Roland.

"I'M TOO PRETTY TO DIE!" Tina exclaims, running after me.

Roland follows along and just as we manage to slip through a small pathway in between two icebergs... it lands.

*THOOOM*

The ground shudders as the massive pod unfolds itself, it stands EASILY three or four stories tall, and is painted a red color with black lines across its guns as if to mimic racing stripes.

Mars

"oh... oh no."

My echo device activates along with Roland's

"Hiya, Handsome Jack here, just wanted to let everyone know that I'm getting ever so closer to the vault, and when I do, all you bandits at Sanctuary are gonna be the first to go, but, right now, there's something else I want to talk about."

"At this very moment, your precious leader, Roland, is running away from the peak of Hyperion's technological advancements, one of our 'Planetary Destruction' line of bots, Mars! And- wait a minute... is that... two children with him? I never took you for a pedophile, Roland... that's bad taste."

A missile hits the ice right behind us, sending small hunks of ice raining down on us.

"Anyways, prepare to die a thousand deaths, you can't beat the wrath of Mars... yada yada..."

He is silent for a moment.

"Margerite, please find me the one who wrote these taglines and have them executed, these are horrible... I mean really, they expect me to say 'You are now prey for the Martian Manhunter' with a straight face? Actually- no, that one is pretty good, but several of these just talk about aliens for a few sentences... even though Mars has been proven to have had no sentient life until humanity moved there... Honestly a child could probably do better."

"Mn... anyways, have fun dying to Mars, Toodles~"

I glance out into the tundra to see the massive robot steadily making its way towards us.

"So... any plans?" I ask.

"Nope."

"We should continue moving throughout these glaciers." Roland states.

"Mn, yes, counter argument to that though..." I state as I hold up a finger. "what if it causes them all to collapse? Burying us under hundreds of pounds of sharp ice and snow?"

"Well, what would you suggest?" He asks.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes for a moment. 'would I have enough to... do that?'

I glance into my 'soul space', in actuality it is where I keep all the 'essence' I drain from living creatures... I discovered it while trying to go to sleep one night and honestly, it sort of fascinates me... and scares me... because I can see just how many lives are behind my power...

Nearly a hundred larval varkids and varkids mid-transformation... a couple dozen adult varkids along with a pair of badass... several psychos and other bandits and that one badass marauder... and the remnants of an Ultimate Badass varkid... and I say 'Remnants' because I found the corpse of one that had been killed a couple of hours or so beforehand, and I just sucked up any remaining energy left in the corpse... it definitely wasn't what it would have been if it were alive, but even still... it was slightly stronger than one of the badass varkids.

'am I really ready to waste all of this progress?'

'…'

'well... it's now or never...'

I take a deep breath, then open my eyes again. "Alright... I have a plan... I was planning on just keeping this hidden, but... I see no way for us to survive much longer without using it."

"Using what?" Roland asks.

"Oooh! Oooh! Do you have some sort of one-time use ultimate super-secret badass corrosive nuke that will totally obliterate this chump?!" The tiny one asks.

"Something like that..." I nod as the robot continues to near, it seems to have lost track of our position so it is now just bombarding the entire iceberg in an attempt to bury us if we were deeper inside.

A single gunshot rings out as the massive bot stumbles to the right, one of its shoulder-mounted missile launchers spiraling out of control and smashing into the frozen ground behind it as a purple gunk covers the robot.

"Morty?" Tina whispers.

"Well, this is my opportunity then." I hum as I hold out my bandaged hand towards the robot, palm facing upwards.

I swing my arm upwards as a massive purple arm forms below Mars, dwarfing the massive mechanical menace as it shoots up, lifting it entirely off the ground.

Sweat pours down my forehead. 'Oh shit. Oh fuck. It's so heavy.'

"HOLY SHIT!" Tina screams.

My hand shakes as I clench my fist, causing the massive purple arm out in the tundra to mimic the action, sparks pouring from the center body of Mars as the fingers steadily create indents in the metal body.

With a final push and a loud and violent creak, the body folds inwards under the grip of my construct, the legs and arms pop off and fall to the ground as the torso of Mars is crumpled like aluminum foil, the purple arm instantly dissipates and drops the now vaguely ball shaped object to the floor with a loud *Crash*… and then it explodes.

"What the hell was that?!" Mordecai helpfully supplies via echo device.

"Hoo boy. Legs weak." I whimper as I fall onto my hands and knees. "G-Gimmie a second..."

"I-If that dropped any sweet loot... I call dibs." I take several deep breaths. "Imma just lay down for a sec."

I faceplant into the crushed ice.

"ooh chilly and refreshing." I mutter into the floor, my voice being muffled.

"What the hell?!" Roland asks, looking out at the destruction I left. "But that would mean you are a... no... t-that shouldn't be possible."

I haphazardly untie some of the bandages, only managing to free the back of my hand to show off the swirly black tattoos

"Tadaaa~" I hum into the snow.

"A Siren?!" Roland asks "A MALE Siren?!"

"T-That should be impossible..." He continues.

You have leveled up x4

I sit up with a gasp. "I'm good! Just in horrible crippling pain! Oh, nevermind... I'm better."

I sit down in the snow.

"I hope you fuckers don't expect me to walk anywhere... I'm tired."

*This is where I stopped writing*

I decided to post this afterall, this is the last of the stories of this type, (Unless I decide to make another chapter of the dragonball one, but probably not. it's up for adoption if anyone wants it. i had planned to do this whole "Super Saiyan Red isn't actually Super Saiyan God, SSB is, and Super Saiyan 4 is acutally just a 'super saiyan Primal'' sort of deal, but the extent of my knowledge is Super, and watching GT like 10 years ago... i know the general plot, but i dont know how Biased i was made by TFS, so i didn't really want any inaccuracies.) I mean, it's fine I suppose... but I really don't know much about the world of Borderlands soooo I would probably get an assload of inaccuracies, I played the first, pre sequel, and third games, but never took the time to search for all the echo devices, and while I could find everything online, I just thought. 'eh, what's the point?'

So here you all go, this will be the 'final' story I post in the trash, (For now), as it is basically the last thing I have prepared...