Chapter 3: Broken
Edward's POV
I closed my eyes, wishing, praying even that all the pain would go away. When Bella left my world had been completely turned upside down. It quickly became the darkest time in my life. In our whole family's life. Bella had been such a huge light in our lives. The best thing that happened to our family.
Now we barely even functioned as a family. We went through the motions. The daily grind. But that's all it was. That's all that it ever would be. It was broken. We were all broken in a way that would never be fixed. Unless Bella miraculously came back into our lives. Which wasn't going to happen because I'm sure that it killed her. We were all sure that it had killed her. We all hated that thing that thing that took her away from us. Even Carlisle and Esme, the two most kind hearted people in all of existence. Rosalie was the only who was still loved it. She blamed me for Bella disappearing. Not that thing as she should have been.
It was all that thing's fault. That thing that I put inside of her. As far as I was concerned that was no child. It wasn't even a person. It was a monster. A pure souless monster. Why Bella had been so hellbent on protecting it I would never know. Bella was too good, too pure, to see what that monster was doing to her.
We had been planning to force Bella into an abortion. We were going to hold her down to keep her from fighting us while Carlisle had carried out the procedure. Would Bella hate us? Yes she most likely, most definitely would have hated us. But I would prefer to have her hate me then dead.
Dead. No matter how many times I tried to register the words Bella and dead in the same sentence my heart just didn't want to accept what my head knew to be true. Bella was dead. The creature killed her seven years ago. That creature took Bella away from me.
I was filled with a hatred so strong that I knew if I ever found out who that monster was I would kill it on the spot. Without hesitation. My family wouldn't even try to stop me. Except for Rosalie but I could easily deal with her. I'd rip her apart if she stood in the way of me killing that thing.
I wished that I could. Every day for the past seven years I envied humans because they had a way to express their grief in a way that I never would. All I could do was just feel the sadness. There was a huge whole in my chest where my heart should be. But when it took Bella away from me my heart disappeared.
There wasn't anything that I would not do to see Bella again. I would give my own life if it meant that she would come back to me. But she was dead. I wanted to die too. I tried going to the Volturi several times but my plans were always thwarted by Alice. She'd tell the family what I was going to do and they'd always stop me. If it meant staying by Carlisle's or Esme's side for months on end until the 'the threat' had passed.
I had try for my family's sake even if it meant living the rest of my immortal life in unimaginable pain. Pain, sorrow, loneliness, and immense grief. The worst kind of gfrief possible and it was all that monster's fault.
No, it was all my fault. I always knew that I should havd waited until Bella had transformed into a vampire. But she just had to be so damn stubborn about having sex while still human. I was stupid enough to give into her wishes. I had hurt the girl I loved more than life itself. No, I had killed the girl I loved more than life itself.
Then she had to be so damn stubborn about carrying it to term. I guess it shouldn't have been such a surprise that Bella loved it. Bella loved monsters like myself after all. She loved everything that was a danger to her. So foolish. But ultimately I was the stupid one. Carlisle and I should have forced into that abortion. Killed it before it killed her.
I listened around me. I could hear my family doing various tasks downstairs. Rose and Emmett had gone hunting and would not be back until later. Carlisle had gone off to work. He busied himself with work a lot these days. Right now with the Coronavirus spreading fast he was called into work even more because of the increase of people getting sick. It reminded me of how I almost died in 1918 of the Spanish Flu. Right now I wish it wouldn've killed me. Then I wouldn't be in this pain right now.
There was a knock on my door. It was Alice. I was curious. She had a vision. Well sort of.
"Come in," I said. Not that she needed permission.
"Alice what's wrong?" I asked her. I couldn't understand her convoluted thoughts.
"I don't know," she admitted. "That's what's frustrating me. I don't know what's wrong. Something is coming. Something is about to happen. But I don't know what it is,"
"A threat? The Volturi perhaps,"
"I'm not sure,"
"Is it playing with the blind spots in your vision,"
"No," she said. "What's happening right now has only happened one other time. I was keeping tabs on the family when suddenly everything went blank. Everyone's future disappeared. Edward the last time that happened is when-"
"When Bella was carrying that thing," I seethed
"Yes. I'm not completely but I think it means that our family is going to cross paths with it. I think that creature is on a course that will lead it here. Look Edward we can move if you want so-"
"No," I cut her off immediately. "Let it find us. So that I can finally dispose of this monster just like I should have a long time ago. I am the reason it exists and I will be the reason it dies,"
"The family won't stop you," she said.
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