Dallas, Texas

"Mama, we've had this conversation many times before. You know you're always welcome to arrange a visit to see John Ross; we're not keeping him from you and we want him to have a good relationship with you. You and I disagree on how my childhood was, so I don't want to get in a fight about that again, but I do think I should clarify again that we're happy for you to be in his life, as long as you respect the rules and guidelines we've set for how we want him to be raised. When our home is finished and we move in, we'll have several bedrooms that won't be being used as permanent bedrooms, so of course when you visit, you will have a guest room to stay in, just like you do at Southfork. I do think we need to set some boundaries though; we will not be providing you with a permanent home in this house and if you do choose to move to Dallas like you have talked about doing in the past, then that will be your responsibility to deal with. Of course, I don't mind participating in helping you find a place of your own here and I don't mind showing you around, you're my family and despite our previous relationship issues, I don't want us to see each other negatively. However, JR and I have previously made our feelings known when it comes to any kind of permanent financial support; we're not comfortable with setting up our relationship based on things like that and we won't be participating in a relationship like that. You're welcome to come and visit John Ross, but if you only intend to use him as an entry into my life and a new life for yourself here in Dallas, one with new social connections and financial benefits, then you're out of luck and I politely request that you stop pushing the subject. If you want a relationship with your grandson, then start small and work your way into the things you wish for; he is still young, but he's already very aware and forming social attachments, so the more often you make an effort to be with him, then the more he will respond to you. You've said in the past that you want to spend more time with him, but you never really tried to do that; we haven't seen you for months and you can't say that's because you've been busy with work of Kristin's activities, because you haven't. I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but I do want you to realise how serious I am, how serious we are. If you want to be close to John Ross, then make the effort and do it, but if you want to be close to the Ewing money and social connections, then please, do us all a favour and say so now". Speaking in a serious but emotive tone, Sue Ellen hoped that her mother understood her perspective; they had been having the same argument for years and she was sick of it. With Miss Ellie, she received nothing but love and support, and John Ross had formed an attachment with his grandmother based on her honest, loving interactions with him; but with her own mother, things were different. She didn't doubt that deep down, her mother did love John Ross and did want to see him more often, because in a twisted way, she knew that her mother loved her and had honestly believed that most of what she'd done during her childhood and young adulthood had been reasonable and loving. That didn't mean she wasn't scarred from her own childhood though, because she was, and she was scared that her mother's ridiculous opinions, expectations and ulterior motives would do her son more harm than good.

Momentarily glancing over at JR, she was pleased to see him quietly nodding and listening and she knew that if necessary, he would deal with her mother much more harshly than how she currently was; for now though, there was no reason for him to interject himself into a conversation that was for the most part, between mother and daughter. From meeting with Doctor Williams, they were both aware that for anyone to take Sue Ellen seriously and for her to assert herself as her own person, she needed to do her own negotiation and confrontation sometimes. It didn't mean she was all on her own when it came to situations that she felt out of her depth in, but in situations where she had previously submissively or politely allowed people to manipulate her, she knew that she had to speak up and make it known that she wouldn't stand for being treated that way any longer. She had to make sure that people heard her individual opinions and respected that she was her own person, away from her titles and expectations placed upon her, and the best way to do that was to say what was on her mind instead of pretending her thoughts and feelings weren't valid or didn't exist. Of course, a little bit of politeness was always appreciated and she had been trained so well by her mother that it came completely naturally to her; so while inside her head, her thoughts and frustrations were unfiltered, but when spoken, they were at least somewhat tactful, at least until brutal honesty was completely necessary.

Maintaining her cool as her daughter accused her again of manipulating the situation, which in a way, she was, Patricia considered what Sue Ellen was saying. Perhaps small steps toward a larger goal was the way to get what she wanted; she didn't have to ask for everything at once, she could gradually work toward attaining the things she wanted and believed she deserved. Staying silent for a few moments as she thought about how to respond to the accusations and questions, she then carefully constructed her response before speaking. "I remember our previous conversations and I agree, I don't want to repeat the same argument, so I'll just say this; I understand what you're saying and I understand that you have a hard time believing me, but I want the opportunity to prove myself to you, and John Ross. I would like to see John Ross more often; I would like to see you more often, and perhaps one day I will move to Dallas, but right now, I completely understand your position on that and I respect your position. I'm not asking for anything from you except the opportunity to show you and John Ross how I feel". Giving a speech based on some of her honest feelings, Patricia deliberately omitted her plans for the more distant future and her feelings regarding what she believed she was entitled to; she wasn't stupid, she knew when to push and when to stay quiet and right now, making her more selfish feelings known wouldn't do anyone any good.

To be continued…