Dallas, Texas

Nearing the airport, Sue Ellen nodded politely and gave short but meaningful responses as she engaged in friendly conversation with her mother. It a familiar but also new way, she felt happy and calm, but she also felt confused and a little uneasy. For the first time in a long time, spending a few days with her family had been pleasant and uneventful, but somewhere in the back of her mind, she was still waiting for the other shoe to drop, because surely things hadn't just changed and all of a sudden her family were almost normal. While she was under no illusion that her mother was one hundred percent changed and committed to being an involved grandmother and better person, things had been different over the past few days and surprisingly, even after having her daughter and son-in-law's position on wealth distribution reiterated to her, her original request and intentions hadn't changed. They had yet to make any real plans for another visit to Dallas, but this time, the conversations that they had had regarding that topic seemed to be more realistically intentioned and less obviously deceptive. Patricia Shepard would always be who she was, a manipulative social climber and gold digger who was never happy with the things she had, however it now appeared that that wasn't all she was and perhaps there was hope that her grandson would have better childhood memories of her than either of her daughters did. Sue Ellen wasn't relaxed and ready to forget the past just yet, but if things kept going the way they had been over the past few days, then she had hope that perhaps someday things would be different and she wouldn't always expect the worst and dread hearing from her mother.

"Well, Christmas is in a month, so I'll fly up to Dallas again then, but I wasn't lying when I said I would like our visits to become a more regular part of life. I'd really like to see you and John Ross more often, perhaps even in Austin sometime, so please, do think about it again and see if you could possibly squeeze me into your busy social calendar here". Aiming to speak in a calm, rational manner, Patricia requested once more that her daughter reconsider her wish to be more involved in her and John Ross' life. The past few days had been enjoyable and pleasant, but also enlightening and saddening; seeing how happy her daughters were with their lives away from her and how happy her grandson was to be with his mother and paternal grandmother had made her feel jealous, annoyed and a little regretful about the way she had gone about her own life. She had put so much effort into creating good lives for her daughters, ones that were supposed to benefit all of them, but somehow, everything had gone awry and everyone had ended up happy and satisfied, everyone except her. Sue Ellen had made it clear to her that she didn't believe her sacrifices, clear guidance and high standards and expectations were responsible for the life position she was in now; somehow, her daughter seemed to think she would have ended up meeting and marrying JR Ewing even if she hadn't been the graceful, beautiful and recognizable Miss Texas. Additionally, she had made it clear that if she hadn't met JR, a man she actually loved for himself, not just because of his money and power, she would have also been happy with the poor boy, Clint Ogden. Perhaps it was a snobby, judgemental thing to think, but for Patricia, the idea of her daughter ending up in such a dull, average life, just like the one she had settled for when she was younger, made her skin crawl. She had done so much to ensure that her daughters had everything she didn't, but neither of them seemed to understand that and in a way, they both seemed to resent her organization, planning and control of their lives. Kristin had been more agreeable than Sue Ellen, but from the way she had left her, didn't seem to miss being around her, and gushed about how wonderful her new life was, it was pretty clear that she was relishing in the freedom of being away from her mother and the life she had planned for her.

Seeing how happy her daughters were to be away from her and knowing how unhappy she was with the current state of her life, she was really beginning to question her entire perspective and motivation and beginning to wonder whether it had been a huge mistake to put all her efforts into her daughter's futures instead of her own. If she had married a different man when she was younger, she never would've been in the mess she was in today, but even after that, if instead of working to make Sue Ellen into someone worthy of a better life, she had worked to make herself into that person, then maybe they all could've had the life she intended. It was a confusing situation that consisted of a lot of regrets and 'what if's', but after years of denying that there was a problem within her family, she was finally able to see that perhaps all wasn't as well as she had originally believed. She was ready to make a change, but she was also ready for the uncomfortable, sacrificial part of her life to be over and the enjoyable, rewarding part of her life to begin. She was ready to be a better mother and grandmother and if being a better person would help to attract better men than she'd been seeing lately, then that was something she was also interested in. Her old methods obviously hadn't worked to get her the life she wanted, so it was time to try something new, something different.

Staying quiet as her mother again requested that they make plans for another visit, Sue Ellen thought about it for a moment before taking a deep breath and speaking. "How does two weeks from now sound? Will you be free? JR and I have commitments on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and John Ross and I attend a mother and baby class on Wednesdays, so I don't think it would be optimal for you to visit early in the week, but I suppose if you wanted to fly in on Thursday or Friday evening, you could stay for a few days". In an effort to be a good person and give her mother a chance to do what she insisted she now wanted, Sue Ellen gave her a prospective time to prove herself. Spending more time together wasn't her personal ideal, but she saw no harm in at least trying it before she made the decision to stay in a distant relationship. She and JR had made it their position on financial support clear and although she suspected her mother hadn't quite given up on that hope, she also hadn't made it the sole focus of their interactions and had been a relatively enjoyable person to be around for the past few days, so she was ready to give her a chance. Looking over toward her mother, she saw something she had rarely had the privilege of seeing during her childhood, a genuine smile on her face. Maybe this was the start of a new chapter in their relationship, or maybe not; she wasn't ready to completely open her life and heart just yet, but she was ready to at least try and participate in changing the closed and distant relationship they had fallen into lately.

To be continued…