Dallas, Texas

Reaching the top of the stairs after her late night snack downstairs, Lucy grimaced and then rolled her eyes as she entered the area of the house where her aunt and uncle seemed to all too often forget the walls weren't soundproof and their bedroom wasn't located on a deserted island, far away from other people. Fortunately for her, this time, what she was hearing wasn't disgusting or embarrassing, it was mostly just annoying; she didn't need to or care to hear their latest marital tiff and she was sure that she wasn't the only one at Southfork that felt that way. As far as she was concerned, mid-January couldn't come fast enough, because she was sick of being privy to the details of her aunt and uncles lives and the idea of them doing their arguing and other activities in their own home, miles down the street from Southfork, sounded blissful. Shooting a dirty look down the hall, in the direction of JR and Sue Ellen's bedroom, she then turned and walked in the opposite direction to the noise, heading straight for her bedroom.

Preparing for bed, Miss Ellie worriedly glanced at her husband. From Sue Ellen's quietness that afternoon and the strange, tense atmosphere between her and JR that evening, it was obvious that something was wrong, and the snippets of what sounded like an argument was all the proof she needed to confirm her thoughts. "Ellie, it's getting late, stop worrying and come to bed. Let them talk it out; they're adults and they've made it perfectly clear that they wish to be treated like adults. Give them some space before you try to fix things. Knowing those two, the argument will be over soon enough anyway, that's how it always was for us…" Catching Jock's eye as she moved around the room, Miss Ellie's worried expression was met with an answer that was both typical and atypical of her husband. Jock didn't usually willingly miss a chance to tell someone how to live their life or what he thought of their actions, so for the most part, she expected him to voice his opinion on the argument going on down the hall, because he definitely had one. She understood why he had responded how he had though; over the past few months, he and JR had come to an understanding, in business and in their personal lives, so despite the historic disparity between how Jock had treated JR versus how he had treated Bobby, Jock had a new respect for his eldest son and his choices. In a simpler explanation though, Jock was tired, not only from the day he'd had at work, but of concerning himself with controlling aspects of other people's lives that didn't really matter. JR and Sue Ellen's argument didn't sound like something he wished to get involved in and it wasn't something his wife had any business interfering in; all married couples had disagreements and tense moments, but that didn't mean they didn't love each other; Ellie just needed to remember that. He wasn't a fan of his son and daughter-in-law telling a stranger details about their lives, but he had seen the way the marriage counselling had drawn things out of them and was changing their relationship, so he was inclined to leave the task of mediating their marital problems to the doctor; he wished his wife would do so too. Shaking her head, Miss Ellie complied with her husband's suggestion and got into bed; he was right, JR and Sue Ellen were adults, adults who were perfectly capable of asking for help if they needed it and perfectly entitled to keep things to themselves or deal with them in their own way if they chose to. It wasn't hers, Jock's or anyone else's place to interfere or even just be nosy about why things had changed so suddenly, it wasn't their business, at least not at this point in time. The argument sounded personal and private, it was emotionally charged, but not abusive; her help was not needed and she knew it. If JR or Sue Ellen wanted to confide in her, then that was their choice, but right now, it wasn't a choice either of them was making and she just had to accept that.

Oblivious to the annoyance and worry they were causing the rest of the family, JR and Sue Ellen engaged in a heated discussion, one that didn't appear to have an obvious end point. "…you're asking me to communicate and then when I try to, you can't give me a straight answer. I don't know what you want and I don't know what more I can give you. We discussed this months ago; we discussed the reasons why I acted the way I did; we discussed the good and bad points in our relationship, and then things were good. I made you a promise, a promise that I have kept and don't intend to break. I thought we were on the same page, I thought we were finally past the bad times. I admit, having things from my past pop up unexpectedly isn't ideal and it's not something you should have to deal with, but I take full responsibility for my past actions that cause those things to suddenly reappear, and I honestly do try my best to do what's right for us. You want promises and changed behaviour in our marriage and for us as individuals, but when it comes to acknowledging that I'm working on those things and accepting that I have given you no reason to doubt my renewed commitment to you, you don't believe me. What is it you want from me? I can only offer you so many reassurances of my love and changed behaviour before they become redundant and less meaningful. I don't know what more you want from me though, so please darlin', just explain it and I'll try my best to answer your questions, but without the questions, I don't know what else to say. You know how I feel and I thought we were happy together, so now I'm thoroughly confused". Frustrated that they seemed to be going in circles, JR gave a quick summary of some of his thoughts and then directly asked her to explain to him what exactly it was that they were arguing about, because right now, he had no idea how to answer or appease her.

"I want to know how you feel about all of this, not just how you feel in reaction to Doctor Williams' questions or things that you and I do together. That's all. I know you're trying and I am absolutely thrilled to feel like I'm the only woman you want, but I want to know more; I want to know your thoughts, your feelings, your motivations. You're right, we talked about why you did what you did months ago and I did forgive you, but that doesn't mean I'm not still hurt, confused and angry. I just want answers, some of them to questions I haven't even consciously considered yet, but I know I need an explanation for. I know that frustrates you because it's vague and it falls into a grey area, but I don't know how to explain my thoughts any better than that right now. I want to know how you feel; what's going on in your mind? Why do you do what you do?" Unable to coherently phrase what she wanted, Sue Ellen sighed and emotionally asked a few leading questions; they needed to talk, she wanted answers and she needed closure, but for what specifically, she didn't really know. The past year had been an emotional rollercoaster, one she had never expected to experience, so deep down, although she had found clarity and happiness, she still held a lot of confusion, uncertainty and anger. It wouldn't be fun, but she needed to hear exactly what had driven JR to act the way he did in the past again, but more importantly, she needed to hear and understand what was so different now. Love was one thing, but power, manipulation, egomania and lack of respect had all been present somewhere and she needed to know what had happened to those thoughts.

To be continued…