Dallas, Texas

Waiting for Teresa to leave the living room, Sue Ellen silently mulled over her mother's predictably judgemental and irritating comments. Why was it so difficult for her to understand that not everyone wanted to live the life she personally wanted and not everyone saw certain things from the same perspective as she did? She didn't think her mother was being intentionally annoying, but whether she was or not was irrelevant now, because she was beginning to grow tired of her presence and since she'd only been there for a few hours, that didn't bode well for the rest of the weekend.

Turning toward her mother as Teresa quietly left the room after delivering their tea, Sue Ellen then returned to their previous conversation. "Mama, I told you, this is my life now. Of course I do other things and spend time with adults, but first and foremost, I want to be a good mother to John Ross and be a good wife to JR, so I spend a lot of time with them. If you wanted to mix and mingle with the Dallas society ladies, you could've gone to the DOA morning tea with Miss Ellie earlier; I didn't think that was the reason for your visit though, so I didn't make a fuss about you having options to choose from. When you asked me to arrange this visit, you specifically said you wanted to visit Dallas to see John Ross and me again before Christmas, so I arranged for you to come. You're here now and so are we; this is our life. We sing, we read, we play, we go for walks and explore the ranch, we meet up with other mothers and their babies; sometimes I take him out to a park, library or to the mall with me, but most of the time, our lives are pretty simple and home oriented. On the weekends, JR and I will take family trips to more exciting activities and on some evenings, we'll take a little time for ourselves to go on a date, but most of the time, we're happy just being together, because after a lot of thinking and talking, we've both worked out what really matters to us".

"I told you you and I would go shopping and then to lunch in Dallas tomorrow, but for the most part, your visit here to see me and John Ross wasn't going to be too extravagant, so I'm not entirely sure what you're complaining about. I'm sorry if visiting the animals down at the stable this morning was boring or unpleasant for you, but it's something John Ross and I often do and I don't want to cause too many disruptions in his routine. I know he doesn't really understand exactly what's going on right now, but that doesn't mean I want to sit around waiting for him to grow up and become more aware, and it doesn't mean I'm comfortable leaving him with the baby nurse for long periods of time just so that I can go out and do 'adult' things. This past year has been a challenge, but I've been working on setting and achieving personal and familial goals, and in doing that, I've identified that I want John Ross to grow up knowing he doesn't have to fight for love or attention and I don't want him to grow up thinking that he's not a priority in my life. I have adult friends, I attend adult events and I think I have a healthy amount of personal, individual hobbies, but as well as those things, I genuinely enjoy being a mother and I have no interest in purposely distancing myself from him just because you think I should. I won't apologise for the way I live my life and I won't allow you to shame me into conforming with the way you want me to live. I did everything you wanted me to do when I was a child, teenager and young lady and somehow, even now, after everything, I'm still a disappointment to you. I'm sorry if you don't enjoy participating in the activities I now engage in, and I'm sorry that you still think I'm a bad daughter for not enabling your entitled attitude when it came to financial assistance, but this is my life and I'm going to live it in the way that is best for me and my family". Hearing the tone of her response to turn from cordial to clearly frustrated and annoyed, Sue Ellen sat silently as she finished speaking. She was pleased that she hadn't allowed her mother to completely control the situation, but she knew just saying what she had to say wasn't going to completely shut the conversation down or change the way her mother saw the world. What her mother probably needed was her own Doctor Williams, but even just the fleeting thought of Patricia in therapy was laughable. No, her mother was the way she was and since she didn't have much to lose like JR did when faced with an ultimatum, Sue Ellen was sure even the suggestion of professional help would be faced with a firm no and an even more hostile attitude during future meetings.

"Goodness Sue Ellen, I don't think anything I said warranted such a dramatic response. All I insinuated was that just by being John Ross Ewing III, that little boy is going to have more privilege and attention than he really needs and perhaps, if your goal is to raise a well-rounded child, a little less overbearing attention wouldn't be a bad idea. We're of different generations, I think you understand that well, but to me, it's laughable that you think a tiny disruption in his routine will do some sort of lasting damage to him. I know you don't believe me because of your own biased experiences, but children are resilient and adaptable; they don't need to see the cattle and horses every morning and sing nursery rhymes every afternoon in order to develop. Millions of people in this country, on this planet and for millennia before now have had children, and have entertained and raised them with much less than what you're doing. I can almost guarantee John Ross would be just as entertained by a wooden spoon and a pot as he is by all of those expensive toys you have in that basket upstairs. Likewise, if you had a family pet, he would be just as enamoured with the texture of fur and strange noises as he is with the ranch animals. You don't need to be so attentive and extravagant all the time; you're very privileged in the fact that you can live that way, but just know that if you keep making him the centre of the universe, you may find yourself with an overindulged, unadaptable child when he gets a little bigger. Now, before you accuse me of criticising you like 'I always do', just remember that I raised two children and unless you want to lay more blame on me for the supposed terrible life I led you into, especially for 'mistreating' you in your early years, I think you have your answer. I didn't have any of this when you were young. Before everything went bad, your father worked very hard and made a decent income; we weren't wealthy, but we had enough to live comfortably. We weren't too comfortable either though, so I still cooked, cleaned, sewed, tended to a vegetable garden and generally looked after all domestic work, including childcare. Take it from someone older and wiser, you need to relax, take a step back and remember your age and role; you're an adult, not a baby and you're John Ross' mother, not his friend; you're allowed to and should take time to keep doing the same things you did before you were a mother. He'll be fine with Miss Ellie or the baby nurse for a few hours and he'll be fine leaving Ewing property for more than one scheduled activity at a time; he doesn't have to control your life and you don't have to control his…"

Being mostly honest and well-intentioned in her assessment of the situation she had observed so far, Patricia also had a second motive for criticising her eldest daughter's approach to parenting; she was fishing for answers as to what exactly had occurred over the past few months, because as far as she had been informed, all had been well. From the language Sue Ellen used to describe her previous life though, something had happened to cause her perspective on life to change, and it both annoyed and saddened Patricia to not really understand or even have been told in vague terms what that something was. Sure, Sue Ellen and JR did family things on weekends and sure, Sue Ellen was partially involved in some of her activities from before her pregnancy, but something was different and it had to be more than just that she was an overly attentive mother now. For some reason, she had a feeling that the answer lay in the twice weekly appointments Sue Ellen had mentioned a while ago, because it seemed strange that a man as busy as JR Ewing would take time out of his work day to go somewhere with his wife so regularly. She hated not being trusted or wanted enough for her daughter to confide in her about what was actually happening in her life, not just the good things, but she was determined to change that situation. Although it often seemed like she was being overly critical and negative, and her approach to making her perspective known was less than personable, she did have good intentions when it came to the situation as a whole. Her life in Austin wasn't much and it may have been a selfish desire for love and attention, but she did genuinely want to build a better relationship with her daughter and grandson and she did want to show them how much she cared. Unfortunately, she and Sue Ellen had never been able to just agree on things without making them into something bigger than they needed to be, and her approach to voicing her opinion wasn't exactly subtle, so she anticipated that this situation would be no different.

To be continued…