Dallas, Texas

"Mother, don't tell me you're jealous of an infant", raising an eyebrow, Sue Ellen wanted to laugh at how ridiculous and judgemental her mother sounded, but refrained for the sake of peacekeeping. She was a confident mother and none of her own mother's silly comments about spoiling John Ross bothered her too much, but still, she felt the need to at least address them. So what if he was 'spoiled' by attention? She and JR had been starved of forthcoming, positive attention when they were children and being raised that way had hardly turned each of them into well-rounded people. If she could prevent John Ross from feeling unloved, then she would, because although she and JR were in a better place now, it would have been even better if they had never needed to spend months in therapy just to achieve normalcy in the first place. In the future, John Ross probably would have to learn that the world didn't revolve around him, but for now, she didn't care too much about reminding him of that. Her feelings were partly because it seemed too soon to teach him about being patient and humble and partly because in her current life, he was one of her top priorities, so she wasn't going to purposely start paying less attention to him just for the sake of a life lesson.

"I do what I do because I love my son and I want him to understand that I love him. I know you're saying that we're of different generations so we see things differently, but I don't think that's the whole answer. Financially, we're in different places and since you always encouraged me to pursue a life of wealth, I find it hypocritical that you're now criticising me for using the money JR and I have to assist us in providing a life where John Ross can have it all. I'm sure you have a point about John Ross enjoying a family pet or entertaining himself with things around the house and not needing anything extravagant, but I don't agree that I should withhold the things available to us just so you can be satisfied. If we can afford nice things and I enjoy providing a certain lifestyle for John Ross to be raised in, then why does it matter to you? Why is it something you have to criticise me for? I'm sorry you and daddy didn't have the things JR and I have, the things you always raised me to believe were important, but I'm not going to stop doing something just because you tell me to. That's not really the point though; can't you see that everything I'm doing is because I love him? Spending time with him, showing him new things, making him comfortable and happy, those are things I enjoy doing and I enjoy seeing John Ross benefiting from. I'm a mother and you're a mother and we may not agree on everything all the time, but I don't like or appreciate your comments inferring that I'm somehow less of a mother than you are because I'm younger, I only have one child and I haven't had to struggle the way you and daddy did".

"I don't blame you or judge you for not having the social or financial means to give me the life I'm giving John Ross, so I would appreciate if you offered me the same courtesy. I do however take issue with the inference that I'm spoiling him by loving him. That's not true and the way you raised me and Kristin after daddy was gone damaged me more than it helped me and I don't wish to repeat the same experience with my own son. Now, before you say that I'm being unfair or I don't understand how things were, let me explain. I won't pretend to understand just how dire our situation was and why you felt that pushing me toward supporting our family and achieving nothing but social and financial wealth was the main goal in life, but I can tell you that the way you went about teaching the lessons you did wasn't right, for me or our family. I know you wanted us to have everything and you saw Kristin and me as the way to achieve what you wanted, but somewhere in your motivation for more, you lost appreciation for what we had. I wasn't upset by the life we lived, not until you made it sound as if we were nothing because we didn't have everything. Our home was modest and when daddy was there, it was loving, at least for me, and if I think back, that was the happiest time in my childhood. I can't pretend to know the details of your marriage or the things you hid from us, and I don't think that's really my business to know, not unless you wish me to. I did wish many times though when I was a child and teenager and even now as an adult, that you would show me that you loved me for me and not for what I could provide you with. I didn't need a palace or a lot of toys and I didn't expect those things; I did need love and some kind of sign I wasn't a burden to you. Our life circumstances and experiences are completely different and I think even if they weren't, our personalities would clash, but I want you to understand that the way I'm raising John Ross is the way I have chosen to, after a lot of thought and discussion. I never want him to question whether he's loved, whether he's enough or whether his presence is unwanted or a burden to everyone else. I don't want him to grow up with insecurities and questions like JR and I have; we want him to have the best and we're doing the best with what's available to us and in our personal situation, that just happens to be a lot. The material items are relative to our situation; you see them as extravagant, but we don't. As for the amount of time I spend with my son, I really don't believe that's an issue that warrants any criticism. I'm a mother, my child is my responsibility and with the privileges JR and I have in life, I have the ability to give John Ross a lot of my time; to me, that doesn't seem like a bad thing at all. Even with all of this women's liberation stuff, it's not unusual for a mother to be at home with her children, and for women of your generation, it shouldn't be at all shocking that I'm doing so. I just happen to be lucky enough that I have Teresa around to do all of the housekeeping and cooking, Miss Ellie around to oversee the organization and running of the home and annual events here, and JR in a business position where money isn't an issue for us".

"I don't really understand why you always have something negative to say about the way I live my life, but I've done a lot of thinking and have received a lot of good advice, and I have decided that as long as you understand my perspective, I'm ok with us disagreeing. We're allowed to think differently and both be right; different opinions are still valid opinions and I understand that. I really just want to explain my position and reasons for doing things, because I think too many times in the past I've just allowed you to tell me what you think and I've not done a very good job at explaining how I felt. Things have really changed recently though and I know now that as long as I'm happy, JR's happy and John Ross is happy and thriving, there's no reason to make huge changes in the way we live our lives, especially not if those changes are purely to please other people. Of course, as a daughter and a mother, I want you to support me and be proud of me, but I want you to do it because you actually, honestly feel that way, not because I'm asking you to or you feel pressured into it, so I'm not going to ask you to say anything you don't really believe. I love you mama, even when we fight and disagree; I wish you would show or tell me more often that you feel the same for me. We could have been so much happier if other things hadn't seemed more important than love and family, but we can't change the past; I'm trying to change the future though and in doing that I'm making sure I'm aware of why things weren't good in the past and changing my behaviours to hopefully achieve better results. John Ross is my son and I just want the best for him, please understand that before you criticise everything I do".

Allowing her amusement to turn into obvious annoyance and then into a quiet acceptance of the situation as it was, Sue Ellen finished speaking and watched her mother for a reaction. She didn't want to get in an argument about the past, not right now while they were supposed to be having a quiet afternoon tea while John Ross slept upstairs, and not right now in her own life, as she and JR had just been through a rough patch. She had hoped for a quiet, enjoyable weekend visit and she was still hopeful that her mother was capable of behaving in a way that allowed that to happen, because despite everything that had happened in the past, if it was possible, she really did want a positive, constructive relationship with her mother. She liked when she didn't contact her, but only because contact meant begging for money or critical comments, however, if she could have a relationship with her mother that resembled the one she had with Miss Ellie, she really would've liked that, and she was sure John Ross would benefit from it too. Her thoughts were moving much too far ahead though and she knew it, because just moments after she finished speaking, she knew calm and an agreement to disagree wasn't going to be as easy as she hoped.

To be continued…