Notes: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed or added this to their faves or alerts! It means a lot to me to know that this did not make you plain indifferent. I'm experimenting quite a lot here, so all feedback is appreciated. ;)
Summary: Hashirama is not perfect and Tobirama is not evil.
Betrayal.
It was hard not to feel betrayed. As much as Tobirama reminded himself that ninjas had no need for emotions or that Hashirama was and would forever be his big brother, if he was entirely honest with himself, Tobirama would say he was furious – hurt and mad and bleeding trust that would never be regained from a torn heart.
Fortunately, he never allowed himself that kind of honesty. What place was there for truth in the battle-filled lives of the Senju? Survival was all that mattered and so he was able to convince himself that it made no difference to him that Hashirama had kept a secret friend for months and had never seen fit to confide in his younger brother about the meetings or what happened in them.
There was nothing Tobirama would not do for his siblings. Butsuma's harsh training had successfully instilled that in him, that desire to protect his family and put them above everything, expectations and morality included. Their father's cruelty had also forged a bond between the brothers that was stronger than anything. Given a choice between his brother and his father, Tobirama would not even hesitate: his father could burn. Protecting Hashirama was all that mattered.
He had believed that Hashirama had known that and felt the same way – that he could trust Tobirama with anything, that they stood united by the same cause and the same hopes for the future. He remembered how, at Kawarama's funeral, he had defended his older brother from their father's abuse. He also remembered speaking out against the foolish adults who dictated their lives when he, Hashirama and Itama had retreated to their favourite spot in the woods afterwards. Hashirama had not said much then, but the younger boy had assumed that his silence meant that his brother agreed with what he said and would strive together with him to change their flawed reality into something better.
Now a task that had been charged on him by their father had revealed to Tobirama that Hashirama had excluded him from his plans to bring about a peaceful future and replaced him with someone whose full name he had not even known. It stung – and the pain was made all the worse by the fact that it had been only because of his father that Tobirama had found out. Butsuma's involvement in an affair that should have concerned the two brothers alone sullied the wound, making it almost certain to infect.
Tobirama had heard his brother and that Madara talk about creating a village, about family, sharing techniques they had developed with one another and joking about stupid things along the way, as he spied from a distance. Their familiarity had been revolting to the younger Senju, who had initially been displeased when Butsuma had ordered him to follow Hashirama. He had even considered leaving his brother alone as he clearly wished to be, so unfaltering was his faith. He would have reported to his father afterwards that he had found nothing suspicious, but his sense of duty had won out in the end.
Hashirama and Tobirama were supposed to be together, two against the world. Instead, Hashirama had left Tobirama behind and traded him for an Uchiha.
The whole thing was sickening. Tobirama would rather not consider the implications of his brother's actions, what reasons might have led him to hide them from Tobirama. Trust had never come easily to him and Hashirama had been the one person in the world who he felt he could count on, no matter what. Clearly, the feeling had not been reciprocated.
It was almost impossible not to feel the betrayal – not to let it sink its hooks into his tender heart, bereft of all defenses, wounds inflicted by the one person who had lived behind its walls – but Tobirama told himself that there was no room for emotions in his life and soldiered on.
Hashirama would need his help now more than ever and Tobirama would not be much of a brother if he were not at his side.