Dallas, Texas

Listening to her daughter as she spoke, Patricia began to analyse the information she was being given and as she heard one particular line, things suddenly fell into place. "…actively participating in improving our marriage", hearing Sue Ellen's phrasing told her everything she needed to know about the present situation. It all made sense; the twice-weekly meetings, the psychobabble, the mentions of hard, painful work leading to wonderful rewards, the obvious development of a deeper love and understanding between her daughter and son-in-law, the praise for Doctor Williams' abilities. There was a very simple reason why JR was not objecting to her telling a stranger the details of their lives; Sue Ellen was not the only one in therapy, clearly JR was too, and from what she'd observed, it appeared that perhaps Sue Ellen wasn't exaggerating when she gushed about how wonderful the nosy stranger, Doctor Williams, was. She'd been aware that Sue Ellen and JR's marriage hadn't been all smooth sailing, though she didn't know the exact details of why that was, however, she couldn't deny that lately, their marriage seemed to be wonderful and as people, they both seemed to be extremely happy and content with their situation. If a few months of therapy could bring out the confident, optimistic side of her daughter, and the kinder, more charming side of JR, and they were clearly succeeding in other areas of their lives separate from their marriage, then perhaps Sue Ellen really was being completely honest in her assessment of Doctor Williams. The man sounded like he knew exactly when to be kind, when to be firm, when to listen and when to offer his opinion, so even if he was still a nosy stranger, at least he was a helpful nosy stranger.

"You're both seeing him aren't you?" hearing her mother speaking, Sue Ellen's eyes widened as she processed exactly what she was saying. She had convinced herself to open up to her mother about her own personal experience recently, but she had been hesitant and ultimately decided against mentioning that she and JR were in marriage counselling too; now that it was a topic of conversation though, what was she supposed to do? If she denied it and her mother later found out she was lying, it would probably damage their relationship even further, because Patricia loved to twist the truth and make it seem as if her motives for doing something were much more deceptive and hostile than they actually were, so naturally, this probably wouldn't be any different. Alternatively, if she did confirm that she and JR were seeing Doctor Williams together, was she inviting questions and judgement? If their earlier conversation was anything to go by, her mother still held rather traditional views on marriage and if that was still the case, then she probably wouldn't appreciate hearing about Sue Ellen's demands to her husband or their understanding regarding equality. Additionally, her mother would want to know what the reasons behind their marriage counselling were in the first place, and that was not something she was willing to or wanted to discuss.

Deciding to approach her mother's question from a different angle, Sue Ellen began to speak, "yes, JR has attended a few sessions. I told you, Doctor Williams is a good man and he's very good at his job. As you don't seem to be, JR also wasn't thrilled at first with the whole idea, but I truly believe he understands and agrees now why it's important and beneficial. I'm not asking you to attend with me, though if you'd be willing to, I know it would help our relationship; all I'm trying to do right now is answer your questions and explain my position. Finally, after years of not completely understanding why I feel and act certain ways, I now feel like I have some answers, and yes, the process to get here was not pleasant, but I'm glad I did it. I wasn't lying when I said these last few months have been hard, but I also wasn't lying when I said I really am happy now and with my new understanding of myself and my world, I think I'm finally ready for us to talk properly and hopefully eventually form a new, better relationship".

"You asked to come here this weekend so you could spend time with John Ross and me, but yesterday didn't exactly work out as I had planned it and if it's always going to be like that when you're around my son, then I don't think it's going to work out. I love you mother, I don't say that enough, but I do; however, I also want you to love me enough to respect my decisions. I love my son and I will do everything I can to make sure he knows it and never feels as if he has to compete for my attention or affection; JR and I will also always give him what we can and if that happens to be more than each of us had, then so be it. I understand where you're coming from with your comments about me spoiling him, but that's not my intention at all and I don't see my behaviour as negative. I know you don't see the way you raised me as an issue, but after a lot of thinking and discussion, I know it was and I really don't want John Ross to have to deal with any of the emotions JR or I did. Please, just respect that you and I have different parenting styles, but we both have the same goals. I know you wanted the best for Kristin and me, you wanted us to have the things you never had, and I really can't fault you for that, that's what a mother is supposed to want and usually does want, and I'm not trying to blame you or say you were wrong to want that. I am however politely telling you that I personally don't feel like I benefitted from the way my childhood was and I'm making a very conscious decision not to act the same way with my son".

"As well as that, I'm happy to tell you about my life and I don't mind discussing the past with you, but if you have an overwhelmingly negative opinion about something, I would really rather you just keep it to yourself. JR and I are happy in our marriage and I do credit Doctor Williams for a lot of things, because as you probably know, marriage and relationships are hard work sometimes. In my experience, therapy has been a very positive thing in my life and I don't want to hear that you disapprove of me telling a stranger personal details; I don't think comments like that are helpful or necessary. I want to improve our relationship, I really do, but for that to happen, I think we need to interact in a more positive way than we have in the past. I am willing though. Are you?" attempting to change the direction of their conversation, Sue Ellen waited for her mother's reaction. She didn't have much to lose by asking for a more civil, polite relationship between them and it really was the best thing anyway, so she did it.

To be continued…