Dallas, Texas

Observing Sue Ellen's quiet, slightly nervous demeanour, JR knew there was more to her mood than just anticipation and hope that everything would go well in their meeting with the interior designer and decorator for their new home. Driving at a steady pace down the highway, he broke the silence, "darlin', why are you so worried? It's not like this is the first time our mothers have ever been alone together, and besides, you said it yourself, your mother is trying and I think she understands now that if she wants a relationship with you and John Ross, then she has to work for it. I don't particularly like your mother and I don't think her motives are as innocent as she tries to paint them, however, I do have to give her some credit, she does seem to be trying and I don't think she would waste the time she has left on this visit by making trouble". Not entirely sure of what his wife was so on edge about, JR assumed one thing and attempted to offer a brief counter argument; sometimes it wasn't enough for him to just reassure her, she actually needed reasons why she should believe him over her own feelings. He was sure things weren't going to be as easy as simply telling her she had nothing to worry about, but regardless, there was no harm in offering her an explanation in hopes of dulling her sometimes irrational state of mind. Patricia wasn't a pleasant woman and hadn't been a particularly good mother, but she wasn't completely evil or dangerous and leaving her at Southfork for a few hours with John Ross and Miss Ellie was not something that should be causing Sue Ellen as much anguish as it appeared to be.

Looking over at her husband as he spoke, Sue Ellen sighed; JR had a point, her mother did seem to be trying, however, a couple of days of effort didn't erase twenty five years of pain and negative experiences and didn't just automatically rid her of her anxious feelings. Staying silent for a moment, she gathered her thoughts and then spoke, explaining the one thought weighing heavily on her mind, "I'm worried that now my mother is aware of the situation with Doctor Williams, she won't just be satisfied with knowing my side of the story and she'll end up asking Miss Ellie for answers. I don't want to return home to more questions about our marriage or the reasons for why I started seeing Doctor Williams in the first place. I know my mother, she's nosy and she doesn't like not being in control, so having just a small part of what is definitely a bigger story has to be killing her. Of course she makes promises and she'll try hard to actually do a better job at building and maintaining our relationship this time, but I'm not stupid or naïve, I know she'll always want to know more and she'll always be looking for a way to manipulate and control the situation. It's who she is and I can't control it, so I know it's silly to worry about what's going on at Southfork while we're gone, but I can't help it sometimes. Doctor Williams has helped me to identify my feelings though and I am working on moving past allowing the 'what ifs' of life to control me, but please understand that I'm not quite there yet. I do appreciate and understand what you're saying though, so I will try to relax and not allow my imagination to get too far ahead. I'm sure everything will be fine though and even if it's not, Miss Ellie is a strong woman, she's polite, but she's also stern and protective, I don't think she would allow my mother to be negative about us and I think she knows better than to go into detail about our personal issues". Explaining herself, Sue Ellen could see how her thoughts could appear to be too much for what the situation actually required and as she listened to herself speaking, she knew her verbal commitment to attempting to just let things go was probably actually a good idea. She didn't want to be a nervous wreck all day, especially today of all days, so even if it was difficult, she was going to try, she was going to try to forget the potential negatives and instead focus on the real positives, specifically the huge decisions they were about to make.

"Good. You know I just want you to be happy and I hate seeing you so upset, especially when the things you're upset about are issues that aren't currently something that need attention. Your mother isn't pleasant and is pushy, but I think this time, at least for the moment, your message may have gotten through to her. You're right though, I don't think mama would put up with your mother's behaviour if I am wrong and she does act completely inappropriately; my mama is definitely a polite woman, but she doesn't have any of the same reasons for leniency like you and I do. As you just said though, there's not much you can do about who your mother is; you can change how you react when she does something and how you think about her though and I'm very pleased and proud to hear that that's what you plan on doing. I love you and as complicated as things are sometimes, I understand you, so I want you to know that I support you. I also support your decision now though; it is time to accept the facts and let go of the speculation". Not entirely sure what to say, because he never really understood what Sue Ellen needed when she was internally struggling with what she felt versus what she knew she should feel, he then decided to just change the subject. Sue Ellen was educated enough to know her own mind and he was determined to support her, but that didn't mean he had to sit around dwelling on negative topics.

Pausing for a moment in his response to her, he knew she was listening and happy when she gently brushed her hand over his, and taking her small action as a sign, he then spoke again. "Now, let's not focus too much on the negatives at a time like this though. This is an important meeting for us and I want us to be as focused and optimistic as we can. I want to give you your dream home, but I need you to explain and clarify what that actually means, because I could probably guess and make some choices for you with the assistance of the decorator, like I did when I bought that apartment for your graduation, but I really don't think that's what you want or need. This is our home and I don't want either of us to have any regrets". Giving her reasons for why he was asking her for her involvement, he knew he was just babbling when he looked over and noticed her facial expression. She was a nervous wreck in some aspects, but in others, she was a confident, well-prepared young lady and speaking of the meeting they were about to have was something that did excite and please her. Sue Ellen Ewing loved to feel needed, wanted and loved, and she was thrilled to finally feel like she was in control of a few things in her life, even if right now they were just the material items and cosmetic decisions regarding their new home. Their new home represented a new start for them and if she stopped worrying so much about non-issues, she knew she actually had a hope of making their new start, the one she had needed for a long time.

To be continued…