Harry Potter and the Physical Adept
Chapter 8: Kitchen Confidential
"This… this is really amazing," Fay said, as she slowly turned in a full circle to take in her surroundings.
Harry looked around his portable industrial kitchen, really just a number of steel prep tables, sinks, industrial gas ranges and burners, convection ovens, steamers, grills and flat tops arranged in a manner he found convenient inside one of the magical trunks he purchased during his previous trip to Diagon Alley and then connected to a petrol-burning power generator and a truly massive tank of propane, along with shelf after shelf of various cookware, from sauté pans to stock pots to baking sheets, utensils ranging from offset spatulas to dough scrapers to measuring spoons and cups to digital scales, food storage containers, including hotel pans with accompanying covers and polycarbonate bins with matching lids, and an almost obscene amount of cleaning supplies, like bleach, quaternary sanitizer, industrial degreaser and neutral floor cleaner. Behind all of that was the stock of food he had procured for the coming school year, along with an enchanted cooler and ice box the size of commercial walk-in units and some modeled after the low boy refrigeration units at the Jade Garden's kitchen line area he had manufactured for the storage of perishables.
It had cost him in the tens of thousands of pounds to build the kitchen, but given its portability, Harry thought it a good investment, particularly when he could stow it in his haversack and carry it with him wherever he went. The only downside was the lack of a ventilator meant he had to keep the trunk open when cooking to avoid filling the kitchen with smoke and other fumes.
He had done something similar with his personal library of books, moving it shelf by shelf into the other trunk he had purchased the previous week with the help of the dragon who was his in-cover daughter; he liked the idea of having a library he could loan out, so putting it in a trunk separate of his haversack was the next step in putting it into practice.
"It's something," Harry said with a shrug. He had considered having commercial kitchen equipment installed in his safe house but had ultimately decided against it, since it would allow strangers into his home and he also would be away from it at least nine months of the year, making the investment impractical, since Karen herself rarely cooked.
"What are you cooking today?" Fay asked eagerly.
"Who said I'm the only one cooking?" Harry retorted, pulling a binder full of paper out of his haversack and dropping it onto one of the countertops.
"What?" Neville asked dumbly, clearly caught off guard and baked out of his mind.
"We discussed this last year when I sold you the cannabis seeds," said the Hufflepuff. "If you had a large enough harvest, you would consider selling some of it."
"But why are we in a kitchen?" asked the Gryffindor girl.
"You forgot about our conversation about edibles, didn't you?"
"What conversation?" Neville asked.
"About how you can cook dried cannabis buds into food and still get the same effect, without having to smoke it?"
"We talked about that?"
"Yes, we did."
"I don't remember talking about it."
"Neither do I," Fay agreed.
"Well, we had that talk," Harry said, "right after I gave you the seeds in return for twenty percent of any profits you made selling the product?"
There was a moment of silence as the two Gryffindors jogged their memories.
"Oh!" Fay said suddenly. "I remember now."
Neville shook his head. "I still don't."
"So, we're really doing this?" Neville asked after a beat.
"Do you plan on smoking it all yourself?"
"Well, no, there's too much for that…"
"Then let's make some money with it.
"But first, let's have lunch, so you're not tempted to eat all of the product."
With that, Harry pulled a large white cutting board out from under the nearest prep table with one hand, taking up a chef's knife with another, while Liv joined him with a cutting board and knife of her own, though, unlike Harry's, her knife only had a single bevel and the concave grind on the other side.
Going to the walk-in cooler, Liv returned a moment later with a filet of bright orange fish, a filet of deep red fish, and a filet of off-white fish on a parchment-lined baking sheet while Harry returned from the cooler with a portion of beef, several bottles of dark liquid, a smaller bottle of clear amber liquid, a shaker, two paper packages and two big polycarbonate bins filled with marinated meat; while the dragon set the filets on her cutting board, put on disposable vinyl gloves and began to carefully skin them, the Boy-Who-Live sliced the beef thinly with practiced cuts, tossing the results in a large polycarbonate container before adding small portions from the various bottles he had brought back to the prep table, then mixed it together with chopsticks.
"What're you making?" Fay asked, curiosity piqued.
"Sashimi," Liv said, "and nigirizushi."
"Gon chow ngau ho," said Harry simultaneously, washing the knife off in the sink with a sudsy sponge before wiping it dry with a towel, then put the cutting board into the sink and grabbing another one. "Chicken karaage, and yu choy sum."
"I don't know what those are," said the Gryffindor girl.
Neither Harry nor Liv stopped to expand their statements; instead, Liv carefully squared the fish into rectangular blocks, then carefully carved thick diagonal slices off each and placed them neatly on a plain white plate; once she had filled the plate, she slid it down the prep bench, where it came to a halt at the edge closest to the Gryffindors. A small plate of thin, dark brown liquid followed the plate of fish.
"Raw fish? Ewww," said Neville. "No thanks."
Fay swallowed nervously, but picked up a glistening piece of white fish between thumb and forefinger, gingerly lifting it from the plate and considering it with trepidation before popping it into her mouth, her eyes squeezed closed. Then, her eyes slowly widened in wonderment.
"It's so soft," she marveled as she chewed. "Buttery too, and a little tangy.
"What is it?"
"Hamachi," Liv said, as she used a wooden spatula to mix the rice she had pulled out of a rice cooker with a squeeze bottle of faintly yellow liquid in a large wooden basin, all while cooling it with a paper fan.
Meanwhile, Harry started a stockpot of water with a noodle basket hanging off it on a lit burner, then went back to the prep table, emptying the paper package into a large mixing bowl and revealing fine white powder. Putting on vinyl gloves, he opened the two quart container and dumped its contents, chunks of meat in a brown marinade, into a mixing bowl, dredging it quickly before carrying it over to the fryer and quickly dropping the breaded meat into the basket, which he held over a large, cylindrical trash can.
"What's this red one?" Fay asked, indicating the slices of deep red fish on the plate.
"Maguro," said the dragon, as she sliced remaining fish into portions similar to the sashimi, then began molding the rice from the basin into small loafs, lightly smeared a green paste onto each before delicately placing a piece of fish on each.
Nearby, Harry opened the other two quart container and began spooning the mixture in it into the other fryer basket with an ice cream scooper; once he had filled it, he unhooked it and the previously filled basket from the edge of the fryer, dropping them into the oil, which immediately began to hiss and bubble, then slapped the electronic timer stuck to the oven next to the fryer.
Going into the walk-in cooler, the Hufflepuff emerged a moment later with a bag of leafy green vegetables, which he took over to the sink to wash, with the water in the stockpot reaching a rolling boil as he finished the washing. Tearing apart a plastic package, he emptied the wide, translucent off-white noodles it contained into a noodle basket, which he submerged into the steaming water, then slapped another timer.
"What is this?" Fay asked, as Liv placed a plate of fish on rice in front of her.
"Nigirizushi," said the dragon, crossing over to the fryer as the timer started beeping, lifting the baskets from the oil and hooking them on the side to drip dry, slapping the timer to make the alarm stop. Harry arrived a moment later, carrying a large, clear bin in his arms.
Setting the container on the table across from the stove, the Hermetic mage said to the dragon, "Ice bath."
Liv snapped her fingers, and the bin was instantly filled to the top with ice. Another snap of the finger, and the ice was suddenly floating in water.
"Domo," said the Boy-Who-Lived, as another timer started beeping.
Quickly, the Hufflepuff crossed to the pot, retrieving the noodle basket and giving it a good shake before hurrying back to the ice bath, dunking the basket and its contents into the bin. Then, he put the greens he had washed into a separate noodle basket and carried it back to the pot of boiling water, submerging it before turning off the timer and turning it back on.
Taking a wok and a matching ring from his shelves of cookware, Harry lit another burner and put the cooking vessel on it; as it heated, he washed a bag of bean sprouts and several green onions separately in a colander, cutting the latter ingredient into large pieces. Once done, he went back to the ice bath, taking out the noodles and hanging them up to drip back into the bin.
Once he finished, he ladled oil into the wok, gave it a moment to heat, then dumped the marinated beef into the wok, quickly breaking it up with a long-handled spatula. After a moment, he took the noodle basket, which had mostly dripped dry, and emptied its contents into the wok, scrambling it together with beef.
Without a word, Liv went to the shelves of large squeeze bottles filled with various sauces, taking a moment to find the one she was looking for before taking it from where it sat, turning and slinging it at the cooking boy, who caught it with one hand without looking. Squirting some into the wok, causing it to spatter and steam as it mixed it together with the beef and noodles, he tossed it back to the dragon, who put back on the shelf, then went to the boiling pot, pulling the basket of greens from it and taking it to the ice bath, which she dunked it into, before going back to the fryer and dropping both baskets back into the hot oil.
Turning off the heat, Harry reached behind him, taking the colanders of green onions and bean sprouts, emptying them into the wok and quickly tossing the contents with the help of the spatula, letting the residual heat cook the vegetables before unloading the wok onto the large plate the dragon had set down on the table behind him, creating a considerable portion suited more for ten people than four.
Carrying the wok over to the sink, Harry grabbed a second one and put it on the wok-ring, starting the burner back up. While Liv scooped rice into bowls and carried them to the dining table with chairs situated around it where she had already placed the sashimi and nigirizushi, Harry splashed a golden brown oil into the pan, then dropped the greens into the wok, tossing quickly it with a fresh spatula before plating it and pouring a thick dark sauce over it.
Taking up the plate, the Hufflepuff took it and the one with the beef and noodles to the dining table before going back to the fryer, lifting both baskets out of the oil and hanging them off the side of the fryer to let them drip for a moment before emptying each into a separate large metal mixing bowl lined with sheets of kitchen paper, which he carried over the table, along with a fistful of eating utensils.
"Sit," Harry said. "Eat."
That was all the invitation that was needed; Liv plopped herself into a chair in front of a bowl of rice piled almost comically high, while the Gryffindors took seats alongside each other, across from the dragon-in-girl-form.
"Itadakimasu," said the dragon, taking two spoons and using them like tongs to heap more than half the noodles, beef, green onions and bean sprouts onto her own plate. Then, picking up chopsticks, she helped herself to the fried meat, adding a truly enormous pile to a second plate, before filling a third plate with nigirizushi and sashimi.
"That's a lot of food," Fay said.
"I'm hungry," Liv said flatly, before shoveling gon chow ngau ho into her mouth, followed by a mouthful of rice and several greens from the communal plate.
"This is really good," Neville said, between mouthfuls of fried food. "So fluffy. What is it?"
"There's chicken and nankotsu karaage," said the Hufflepuff.
"Say what now?" asked the Gryffindor girl, swallowing before speaking.
"Japanese-style fried chicken and chicken cartilage."
Silence descended over the table as the foursome ate quietly, punctuated only by the crunch of fried chicken being eaten and the sound of Liv slurping down noodles and otherwise inhaling the food on her plate before going back for more.
"That was really delicious," said Neville, after the plates were emptied and cleared from the table.
"You could start a restaurant," Fay agreed.
"What's that?" asked the Gryffindor boy.
"What's what?"
"What's a 'restaurant'?"
Fay, Harry and Liv shared a look.
"A restaurant is a place where people go to, to eat and drink something cooked by somebody else," Fay explained.
"Why don't they just have house-elves make their food?"
"What's a 'house elf'?" Liv asked.
"A magical being that's basically an unseen servant, except corporal, visible and much more versatile in what it can do," Harry answered, thinking back to his reading. "Pretty small too."
"So, what are we making today?" Fay asked.
Harry opened up the binder, flipping through it quickly before coming to a stop to open, extracting a stack of pages from it and placing them on the table. "Four different types of chocolate brownies, three different cookies and six kinds of cupcakes."
The Gryffindor girl picked up one of the pages, a sheet of paper, covered in words written in a loopy, flowing script, encased in transparent page protector.
"You didn't write this."
"I did not."
"Where did you get these recipes?"
"From Tori."
"What's a Tori?" Neville asked.
"Tori's a who, and she's a waitress at the restaurant who loves to bake and is going to pastry school to be a pastry chef," Harry explained. "She was more than happy to share her recipes with me."
"What's the difference between the brownies?" Fay asked.
"One's cakey, one's fudgey, one's got caramel in it, and the other, whiskey."
"And the cupcakes?"
"We'll be doing three classics—a basic vanilla cupcake with vanilla buttercream, a red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting and a chocolate cake with a cream cheese filling and frosting, topped with chocolate chips—and three gourmet ones: an apple pie cupcake, a chocolate-pineapple-and-rum cupcake, and a cupcake Tori calls a 'chocolate-mocha bomb'.
"As for the cookies, before you ask, one's the classic chocolate chip cookie, one's a soft-baked gourmet cookie with smoked butter and salt, and dark couverture chocolate buttons, and the third's a soft snickerdoodle."
"They all sound yummy," Neville said. "Can we get started on this so we can try some soon?"
~ooOoo~
"I never knew to crack eggs into a separate bowl first," Fay said, as she bit into a cookie. "Wow, this is really delicious."
"It really is," Harry agreed. "The smoke gives it a nice, complex flavor."
"You know, I never thought about weighing out the ingredients, instead of using cups to measure them," Fay continued. "There's just so much I don't know about cooking, even though I help my mum sometimes."
Neville was too busy stuffing his face with brownies and cupcakes to say anything.
"So, when you're making any of these recipes for sale, just add four grams of dried cannabis buds, cleaned and ground into a powder, along with the rest of the dry ingredients, and you'll have edibles," the Boy-Who-Lived said.
"Neville and I will be making them, I take it?" Fay asked.
"Yes."
"We don't have a kitchen."
"You can use mine."
"What about ingredients?"
"We'll send out for them."
"How much are we going to sell them for?"
"Six silver pieces for a dozen of the basic cupcakes and twelve-a-dozen for the gourmet ones," Harry said. "For smaller orders, three for a half-dozen or one silver piece for two of the basic ones, or one-to-one on the apple pie, chocolate-pineapple-rum or the chocolate-mocha bomb. For the brownies, they should be sold at one silver piece each, and the cookies should go for three silver for a dozen of the chocolate chip and snickerdoodles, and nine silver for a dozen of the gourmet cookies."
"I think we should make some of what we're selling plain, without the cannabis, for people who just want something to eat," Fay suggested.
"That's probably a good idea, actually," Harry said. "We could leave the cookies and the vanilla cupcakes plain, then."
"And if somebody wants something special, something that's not on the menu?"
"Tell them to you'll need to think it over before you take the order, then we can talk about before deciding if we want to actually do it."
"You know, I don't think Neville really cares about the money end of this," Fay said.
"I really don't," the Gryffindor boy agreed.
"Thought as much," Harry agreed. "I guess that means you'll be in charge of all of the day-to-day business while he just grows and cures the plant and helps with the baking."
"I'll try to keep him from eating all the product."
"I'm right here!" Neville protested, even as he bit into another cupcake.
"That's a good idea; we are trying to run a business here."
Author's Notes: I named this chapter in honor of the late Anthony Bourdain. He was a huge influence on the way I perceived food and the people who cooked it professionally, and he wasn't wrong to say that people who choose careers in professional kitchens have personality flaws that prevent them from working in any other environment. I'm unfortunately one of those people. Rest in peace, Mister Bourdain.
Of course Harry would build himself a commercial/industrial kitchen. Hell, I'm not rich, and if I had a chance, I'd love to outfit my home with commercial-grade kitchenware; it'd make my life so much easier when it comes to food prep.
No, there's no bag of holding inside bag of holding problems here.
It's the return of food porn, and along with that, two recipes practically anybody can make if they can get the ingredients, one for chicken karaage and one for yu choy sum.
To make chicken karaage, cut boneless, skinless chicken thighs (and that's important, so don't try to substitute breast meat for it) into bite-size pieces, making 4-6 similarly-sized pieces per thigh, then marinade in soy sauce, cooking sake, ginger and garlic (I use ground for the last two, but mince or grated also work fine) for fifteen to twenty minutes (but no more than that, so it doesn't become overly salty). Dredge the marinated chicken in potato starch (necessary for the fluff), then deep fry for five minutes, before dumping it out into a bowl lined with paper towel, letting sit for 1-2 minutes, then deep frying it for another 5 minutes. Serve hot.
As for yu choy sum, carefully wash the choy sum (available in many Chinese markets) three times to remove the dirt, stripping away the flowering parts if you so desire (I find them texturally unpleasant), then blanch in a pot of boiling water that's had a tablespoon of oil added for thirty seconds before shocking it in an ice bath. Drain well, plate and then dress in oyster sauce before serving.
I noticed that, after working in a professional kitchen, it affected the cuisine I cooked at home; although I originally primarily cooked Cantonese cuisine at home (as I'm originally from Hong Kong), after working in a Japanese restaurant, my diet moved much more towards Japanese food, so I used that as a reference as to Harry's changing culinary tastes, as he worked in a Chinese-Japanese restaurant in Jade Garden. Since Liv can replicate anything by watching, I thought it only appropriate she would have picked up some cooking as well, even if she primarily worked as a server during her tenure at the restaurant, especially for things like sushi, which is often prepared in plain view of customers.
Hamachi is a wonderful fish to eat raw or cooked; even the bloodline is delicious if seared. Maguro is tuna.
Of course Harry and Liv use magic for cooking, because this was secretly a gourmet cooking story all along. Bait and switch, bwahahaha! (Not really.) (But really, I actually have a gourmet plot bunny that I've been nurturing where Harry is obsessed with food and its preparation, and only goes to Hogwarts because he wants to use magic to help with his cooking and for no other reason, so all of his adventures are food-focused, such as Philosopher's Stone as a seasoning, basilisk as a cooking ingredient, feeding dementors things besides memories, etc. Every chapter would include something being cooked, and an accompanying recipe.)
I wanted this chapter to read a lot of like watching a food porn TV show, hence the descriptive narrative of how Harry and Liv cook. Not sure if that turned out the way I wanted.
Since rich people in the magical world have house elves do their cooking, I figured there wouldn't really be restaurants in the magical world, hence Neville's ignorance.
The cookies, brownies and some of the cupcakes were inspired by the ones made in the "4 Levels" video series on the Epicurious Youtube channel; I feel like it combined some basic stuff with some really fancy stuff, which really suits the kind of business Harry would want, with the variety catering to both the basic bitches and those who like the good stuff. The rest of cupcakes were taken from the Flavor Cupcakery and Bake Shop menu. Thus, unfortunately, I do not have exact recipes for any of the baked items.
Yes, always crack your eggs into a separate bowl first; you don't want pieces of shell accidentally getting into whatever you're cooking.
Once again, many, many thanks to my long-suffering editor, Romantically Distant, for all their hard work. And now you've read this chapter, feel free to leave a review or just PM me.