Dallas, Texas

Standing under a tree on their long driveway, Sue Ellen wasn't sure how she felt. On one hand, she was so sick of reliving and being reminded of the past, because without fail, every time she and JR seemed to find happiness, something or someone came out of nowhere to bring their relationship crashing back to earth. On the other hand though, she felt that perhaps she had overreacted to the events earlier in the day and she needed to remember what both JR and Doctor Williams had told her in the past; if she was going to forgive then she had to actually forgive, not just say she did but secretly hold a grudge. In this case, it appeared that although she possibly had the right to be angry, she was also possibly overreacting. Right now, JR was being direct, logical and empathetic toward her and she was being irrationally jealous and angry about something that had happened in the past and was only a hypothetical thing in the present. Marilee and JR had had a sexual relationship in the past, that was a fact; she didn't like it and she didn't want to think about it, but she had no control over it and no right to be angry about it, because it had happened before she and JR had known each other, but not since. As far as she was aware too, what JR and Marilee had had really was purely physical; there was some psychological game playing, JR had never denied that, not even years previously when she had first asked about his relationship with Marilee, but their physical connection had never had anything to do with romantic feelings. In her mind, she knew she was probably overreacting and Marilee was getting exactly what she wanted, but she also knew she would always have an emotional weakness when it came to JR's commitment to her. She needed reassurance that he had no interest in Marilee's invitation to rekindle their old 'friendship'; she needed reassurance that the relationship he had had with her had not been a romantic one; and she needed reassurance that in the past five and a half years, nothing had happened between he and Marilee. It was stupid, because deep down, she already knew the answers, but she needed to be told again, for her own peace of mind.

"JR, I'm not angry with you, but I'm also not completely happy right now. I hate that this keeps happening and I hate that I allow myself to be so affected by it. That woman gets under my skin and plants seeds of doubt in my mind, I know that, I can admit to that, but I can't just move past that knowledge without first seeking reassurance. Please, just remind me again about what your previous and current relationship is; I need to know". Hearing his wife begging him for reassurance, JR's mind was all over the place; he was angry and annoyed at Marilee for causing so many problems and he was annoyed that he and Sue Ellen seemed to face the same problems over and over, even though he'd been a better man for so long now. Most of all though, he was still empathetic toward her, because as Doctor Williams had explained, Sue Ellen had clearly been damaged by a lot of things in the past and when she got into a certain frame of mind, it was difficult for her to refocus herself and accept the answers she was being given. He had to have patience with her, even if it was extremely frustrating to keep reliving the same experiences, so doing what he knew was the right thing to do, he explained himself once again. It was stupid for him to have to explain Marilee, she was a nobody from before he even knew Sue Ellen, but at the same time, he had nothing to hide about his relationship with her now and he knew that if he argued, he would end up making things worse, so he just reiterated his point.

"Sue Ellen, calm down, this is exactly what that woman wants; she's trying to cause problems because she's bored and spiteful, you even said so yourself, so please, just listen to me and listen to your intuition; don't allow her to have that much power. I'll answer all of your questions, but I need you to work with me too, I need you to communicate with me". Pausing for a moment, he waited for Sue Ellen to show him she was listening and understood what he was saying, and when she nodded and looked him in the eye, he knew she was and he could see she was beginning to calm down. "You asked about my relationship with that woman, so I'm telling you; we don't have and I don't wish to have any relationship with her. I never see her unless we are at a social function, but during those times, you are always with me. To be honest, you probably see her more than I do, so I don't think you have anything to worry about in terms of our current contact. Our past relationship is a little more complicated, but not in the way she's insinuating or you're thinking. There was never, ever anything romantic about our relationship, it was a psychological and physical game, one that I am very glad to be out of and I honestly do regret being a part of".

"It's hard to explain, because you and I have always had a romantic angle to our relationship, but with Marilee, that was never the case. She's a lot like the old me when it comes to getting what she wants out of other people; she likes a challenge and she doesn't like to lose; she sets her sights on something and then goes after it; she's manipulative and not shy about what she wants. All of those things are pretty irrelevant to you and I, so I won't try and analyse her too much, but I can tell you that I understand why she does things sometimes, which is why I'm telling you now to try and let it go. It's not nice or even really easy to explain, but she feeds off negative energy; I know it because at times, I've done the same thing. As I said, it's not nice and it's not right, but I understand, that's why I can honestly say, while slapping her and telling her exactly how you feel is satisfying in the moment, the best solution to the overall problem is really just to ignore her. Our marriage is much stronger than her singular spiteful attitude; I really hope you believe that, because I do".

Unsure of what else to say or do to get her to understand and believe him, JR then waited for her to respond. He wanted to be the rational one in the relationship, because past experiences had taught him that not talking about things and brushing over them with a kiss and make up attitude never worked out well. It was hard to be the calm, collected one though, because sometimes he did just want to shout and aggressively make his point; sometimes he did just want to question why things were always an issue in their relationship, even after they had agreed to leave the past in the past. Remembering what Doctor Williams had explained though, he knew better than to just shout at her that he and Marilee were nothing to each other and her being paranoid and needy was stupid. He knew he had hurt her; he knew she was insecure from past experiences; and he knew he needed to be someone she could trust, not someone she feared, so instead of getting frustrated and responding aggressively, he tried to stay calm and explain everything. He had nothing to hide; he and Marilee really were nothing to each other and she really was just a miserable, catty woman, so everything he was saying was the truth, even the part about understanding her. It wasn't something he was proud of, because he knew that it was pretty rotten to intentionally put someone else in a bad situation for his own personal gain, however, he couldn't deny he hadn't done it on several occasions. He wanted to be a better man for Sue Ellen and John Ross, and he thought he was doing a pretty good job so far, however, he would always have an understanding of the darker side of life, because before being a husband and father, he hadn't exactly been a clean, honest man. If explaining that part of his mind was what it took to get Sue Ellen to understand the point he was trying to make, then that's what he would do. For now though, he would wait and see what she had to say before he went any further into explaining why he so deeply understood the satisfaction Marilee gained from making other people uncomfortable, angry and upset.

To be continued…