Dallas, Texas

Eyeing her daughter as she entered the house, Patricia immediately knew something strange had happened during the time she and JR had been gone. When Miss Ellie enquired about their meeting with the interior design team, and both JR and Sue Ellen seemed a little dazed and vague about the details, as if it hadn't just happened, she was then absolutely sure something strange was going on. Sue Ellen was the type of woman who took an interest in the way things looked and were presented and prior to the meeting, she had been ecstatic about having such a large blank canvas to work with, so for her to be so vague about what they had decided was strange, suspicious and a little worrying. She wasn't too worried though, because she and JR had returned home looking somewhat happy, they had immediately shown a lot of positive attention to John Ross and they were eventually able to remember why they had been gone for the past few hours and what had happened in their meeting. It was very clear to Patricia though that the meeting and lunch they had attended afterward were not the only things that had happened that day, or at the very least, those two events hadn't been as simple and uneventful as expected. Whatever was going on, it was clear that neither JR nor Sue Ellen were going to acknowledge it publicly, and from past experience, she knew her questions regarding their strange behaviour would not be appreciated, so instead of asking why they were behaving so bizarrely, she kept her mouth shut, but her eyes open. She wouldn't ignore her observations, but she would refrain from making comments about them, because she was actually enjoying her time at Southfork and she didn't want to ruin her chances of being invited back for another non-holiday visit.

Across the room, Sue Ellen's mind was elsewhere. Naturally, she loved holding her son, but for some reason, right now, that was all he wanted from her. He didn't want to be put down on the floor with his toys, he didn't want to sing a song or read a book and strangely, he didn't even want to be with JR; he would whimper and whine if she even attempted to redirect his attention away from allowing him to just stare at her. She didn't really understand it, it wasn't unusual for him to want to be with her, but his clinginess and pickiness right now was strange and a little worrying. Perhaps he was just overtired, it did sound as if he had had a long, exciting afternoon with his two grandmothers, however, she worried that if she was wrong and he wasn't just overtired, then there was something more serious causing the mood he was in. Was he sick? Was he too attached to her like her mother had warned her he was becoming? Had she spoiled him with attention and ruined his ability to adapt to situations where she wasn't there for more than the couple of hours she usually left him for? Whatever it was, she was growing concerned and unfortunately, although he was unable to speak yet, John Ross could clearly sense her worried demeanour and was feeding off that energy, growing more unsettled by the minute.

Not happy about his son's rejection, JR felt a small amount of satisfaction when John Ross' clingy excitement at being reunited with his mother then turned into him fussing in Sue Ellen's arms, however, after observing the situation for a little longer, he suddenly felt very guilty and ashamed that he'd been happy about their discomfort. He didn't want his son or his wife to be unhappy and clearly, right now, they both were. John Ross' previous disinterest in being with him wasn't something he could or should blame Sue Ellen for and realistically, it was probably only a temporary mood, so it was pretty terrible for him to have thoughts about teaching her a lesson about what it felt like to be rejected by their son. Unfortunately, as he'd explained to Sue Ellen earlier in the afternoon, there was a part of him that did understand the satisfaction and occasional happiness that came from other people's unhappiness. Considering everything, he cursed Marilee again for her outburst; he had had to do a lot of explaining to get Sue Ellen back on his side, but he'd managed to do it. Unfortunately, it was now apparent that he also had a lot of thinking and explaining to do to himself, because it was incredibly wrong for him to derive any satisfaction from the discomfort of his son and wife. Keeping Bobby in his place and making sure everything ran well for Ewing Oil was completely different to what he had with Sue Ellen and John Ross and he knew he had to change the way his mind worked now, before he did or thought anything worse than he just had. He didn't want to be a bad father or husband and he was willing to do whatever it took to make sure he wasn't.

Quietly asking his mother when John Ross had last been fed and hearing that it hadn't been that long ago, but since he'd been growing a lot lately, he was probably due to eat again soon, he then motioned to Teresa to prepare his son's bottle. He then moved toward Sue Ellen and John Ross, spoke in a quiet tone again and sent them upstairs to the nursery. John Ross was probably just tired and grumpy, not purposely rejecting him, however, if he was, then he was going to at least attempt to show him he was worth giving another chance to. He didn't know if babies had any concept of holding a grudge or granting a second chance, but it didn't really matter, he wasn't just going to give up on fatherhood because of one bad experience; he wasn't that stupid, weak or pathetic.

Half an hour later, after feeding her son and gently rocking him from side to side until he fell asleep, Sue Ellen then closed the nursery door, walked across the hall to her and JR's bedroom and promptly burst into tears. What had started out as a wonderfully exciting day had turned into a huge mess and although both her issues with JR and John Ross were now effectively over, because she did believe and trust JR and she had managed to calm a tired, cranky John Ross, she was still incredibly overwhelmed by everything.

Why were things so difficult? All she wanted was to be happy, but without fail, just as she was finally getting what she wanted, there was always something or someone waiting in the wings with bad or upsetting news for her. John Ross was just a baby, she couldn't blame him for anything, especially not something like his crankiness affecting her mood, because naturally after a long day, he would be grumbly and fussy. She was his mother, she was the adult in the situation and it was up to her to deal with it as best she could, and finding reasons to blame him for why she was so unhappy in the present moment was definitely not the best way to deal with things. As well as that, she was upset with her situation with JR. She couldn't be mad at him for the way he had been before they had even known each other, it wasn't fair, she knew that and in a way, she actually felt it too. What she was really upset about was the fact that no matter how hard she tried and no matter how many commitments they made to each other now, the past was still there and there was always someone around to remind them of it. JR didn't have ex-girlfriends, he had ex… women, and unfortunately, he'd had terrible taste and/or a lack of self-control in the past, so the type of women that seemed to reappear were always just itching to cause trouble.

Allowing herself to cry freely for five or ten minutes, without shame or attempting to control herself, her tears and sniffles then began to subside and for reasons she couldn't explain, a few things suddenly became clear to her. JR and Doctor Williams were completely right, she could not go on living her life in a state of waiting for the other shoe to drop and always being suspicious about things that had no basis in fact now. The past was the past and it had to stay that way. The present was now though and it was ridiculous for her to constantly question him, doubt him and always act needy and weak around him, because she had changed and so had he, and those changes had been for the better. What was also ridiculous was the basis for her worries about the present; JR had made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with Marilee or any other woman, and up until just a few hours ago, she hadn't had any doubts about his words. It was incredibly stupid for her to be so affected by the words of a malevolent, manipulative, unhappy woman like Marilee Stone, because deep down, she knew she was trying to cause trouble, so to fall into that trap was giving her exactly what she wanted.

What Sue Ellen wanted for herself and JR was for their relationship to be as happy as it had been recently, and she knew that JR was trying as hard as he could to make sure that happened, but she was being difficult and silly. Knowing that, she then also knew what she had to do and standing up, she walked into the bathroom, splashed cold water on her face, retouched her makeup and then strode out of the bedroom with a purpose. She would find JR, she would apologise for being so immature, needy and untrusting, and then she would do what she had done so many times before, she would promise she had wiped the slate clean; this time though, she was determined for her words to actually stick. She could not control the past, but she could control how she reacted to reminders of the past. She was well aware that she achieved absolutely nothing by acting as if she had personally been wronged by things that honestly had no impact on her life, her own self or her relationship with JR, at least not if she didn't allow them to. In the same way her high school and college dating record had no effect on her current relationship with JR, she couldn't allow his past to affect her; she knew that now and this time, she was absolutely determined to make sure her emotional reaction to life followed the same path her logical mind was taking.

To be continued…