Dallas, Texas
Hearing a child whimpering in fear as the costumed performers moved around on the stage, Sue Ellen looked down at John Ross to check he was still ok. She was fairly certain now that she understood her son well enough to be aware of what he was feeling, however, there was no harm in making sure. Seeing him staring straight at the stage, transfixed on the production, she knew her intuition about the situation was correct; as expected, his lack of fussing or crying meant exactly what she thought it did, he wasn't scared, he was enjoying himself.
As part of making a real effort to make connections and build proper, lasting friendships, Sue Ellen had accepted and helped plan some of the additional outings for the mothers and babies in the playgroup she and John Ross attended once a week. Purchasing tickets to a matinee performance of The Nutcracker by a local children's theatre hadn't been her idea, in fact, she'd initially been concerned that the general age of the children in the group was a bit too young for the length and content of the ballet, however, it seemed to be a success so far. A few children in the audience appeared to be frightened of the mice characters, but once the scene changed and the more magical, whimsical scene and characters appeared, the general feeling appeared to be positive.
As the ballet ended and everyone stood to leave, Sue Ellen stifled a grin; she'd been right about one thing, the production was entertaining, but it was too long for the attention span of the group of children she was with. Even with the slightly shortened production, almost every child under the age of two was either fussing or asleep; the older children seemed in good spirits, but it would probably be at least a year before she brought John Ross back to a sit-down production like a ballet or play. She imagined he'd soon be interested in a children's concert where he could singalong and dance, but as of right now, he and other children his age just weren't interested in or really able to focus on one activity for over an hour. She wasn't unhappy though, she adored The Nutcracker and even if John Ross had grown restless and then fallen asleep part-way through, she had still thoroughly enjoyed the experience.
Half an hour later, after an impromptu decision to continue the outing, even if their babies were all asleep, Sue Ellen found herself sitting in Marcia Jenkins living room listening to the fascinating tales of real housewife life. She knew she was privileged, but she had always assumed she wasn't completely removed from the real world, however, after hearing multiple stories about what being a wife, mother and woman meant for a large group in society, the middle class, she wasn't so sure her perception of herself was so accurate anymore. Her charity work had always focused on the less fortunate members of society and she'd assumed most of the problems they faced were related to their lack of privilege, however, these women also had a lot of very interesting stories about their struggles, and they were all wives of businessmen, so she wasn't sure what to think. She wasn't stupid, she knew not all professionals were on the same level as JR and the men he did business with, and she was well aware from the many conversations she and her college friends had had that marriage, even to a man with an established career, didn't guarantee a life without personal and financial struggle. She was clearly naïve though, because prior to hearing the conversation going on, she'd really had no idea how little her mother's lessons about domesticity and real life had actually taught her.
Patricia Shepard was old fashioned, she believed a woman should know how to run her home, manage her family, present herself well and always appear ready to serve others, though her plan had always been for Sue Ellen and Kristin to never have to actually use any of their domestic skills for survival. Sue Ellen had always been pushed toward marriage to a wealthy man, however, clearly, as she already knew, her upbringing had been different to her peers, though it was only now that she realised just how different. Where she had been taught to cook, clean and serve her husband and family, it had never been required of her that she actually juggle multiple demands and deal with the consequences if she didn't achieve everything expected of her. She had Teresa to cook and clean, she had had a baby nurse and Miss Ellie to assist her with taking care of John Ross day-to-day and even though she had always tried hard to, JR never really expected her to do anything more than offer him support and generally just be there for him. The problems she and JR had had had been more about their personal relationship and a huge miscommunication of what the other wanted and where they expected to get it from, rather than anything to do with marriage itself. They never had financial problems; JR was in an excellent career position; she was always there to greet him as he arrived home from work; they were on the same page when it came to what they wanted in their marriage now; they had a satisfying sex life; and they agreed on how they wished their son to be raised. She felt lucky, privileged and thankful for the way her life was, because apparently, it was different to the way things were for other women.
Staying quiet as the rest of the group chatted, Sue Ellen considered everything. Obviously not all wives, mothers and women had the same experiences, and even with what they were sharing now, it wasn't all bad and it wasn't all said in an intentionally negative or upset manner; it was really just shocking and eye-opening for her to hear, because she'd honestly never realised just how different her life was. Thinking about it, she didn't know if it was selfish, but she was somewhat relieved that her life was the way it was, because even though it was fun to play house and act submissively in play with JR, she enjoyed the freedom his wealth and power afforded them. She enjoyed being able to pick and choose when she would use her domestic skills and when she would leave the hard work to someone else; she enjoyed not having any experience or expecting to ever experience arguments related to financial problems; and she enjoyed having an open schedule where she could have fun with JR and John Ross. Being a young Ewing wife had been isolating and bad for her mental health at times, however, looking at her life now and knowing how happy she was, she knew she would do it all again if it meant ending up where she was now.
To be continued…