Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fatasy VII

Thank you to sunflowerspot and CupofTeaforAliceandHatter for your reviews! I'm glad that you enjoyed last chapter, even if it was a little sad ^_^'

Well, it's time to say goodbye! I'm really glad for the support I've been given, and I'd like to say thank you to everyone who's read, reviewed, followed or favourited this fic - it gave me endless joy when you did any of the above! So, thank you!

I will say that, at some point, there will be more! In about 3-10 months, I should have some more oneshots to add to this collect, so please, stay tuned! It makes the goodbyes all the less bitter.

For now however, please enjoy!

050. Eyes - Cloti

Fake

When we were younger, he was such a happy person. His eyes weren't so luminous back then, they were more of a dull blue-green; turquoise almost. I liked them though. He was always so happy back then, trying to keep his mother happy and grinning at all the villagers, trying to get them to be less cruel to him. It didn't work for most of them, but it did work for me.

When my mother died, I still remember that day like it were yesterday, and we went up the mountain. Cloud was the only one who followed me all the way to the top. The others left us half way up, and looking back on it I'm not surprised - we could've all got hurt. Cloud followed me though, all the way to the top, following me silently and watching me walk furiously and cry my heart out. I was determined to find my mother, sleeping somewhere up that mountain. But then I got hurt in the avalanche. And the next time I saw him properly, his eyes were so sad and withdrawn. They were blank, and looked dead. I missed the earnestness of his old eyes, how he could look at you with such joy despite everything. I felt so guilty, I thought that I'd caused that. I always hoped that one day, he'd wake up and take all my apologies to heart. That he'd forget all about it.

He never did, and when he called me to meet him at the water tower, I knew something was wrong. We were both so young then, so small. He couldn't look me in the eyes when he told me, and I was glad - mine were filling up and becoming red. I managed to get him to grant me one promise, and briefly, the spark of joy returned to them. But it was gone before I knew it, and that was the last time I saw the true Cloud's eyes. He'd been gone for a while by this point, but I can still vividly remember the hue.

The next time I saw him, amidst the flames of our homes, he couldn't look at me. I needed him then, and he couldn't bare to look at me. I felt as though something was wrong with me. But his friend was so friendly, with bright cerulean eyes that were piercing and attractive and not Cloud at all. I was so conflicted - his friend was so amiable to me, but he was distant. He stayed with his mother, and very few villagers even got to speak with him. But he was just liked I'd imagined him to be, and his eyes had regained something of their spark - but they were different; brighter and slight luminous. And he was tall and handsome and muscled... I spent many years with that as my last memory of him.

He came to Midgar the next time I saw him. I found him on the platform, near catatonic and shivering like he was in the middle of the Pole. I took him in, and the next morning, he was gone. But he returned a few years later, with eyes that I didn't recognise at all. They were so bright and luminous, and crystal clear blue - not at all like the Cloud I knew. He was looking around with a new pessimistic and apathetic personality, and taking me in with eyes I'd never seen in but one other place, and he was looking at me as though he vaguely remembered me. I was crushed. He had the eyes of his old friend, and when I asked him about the past, he didn't know half of it. I broke down that night, after I'd finished with the bar, and caring for Marlene, and planning for the next day, and Barrett asked me what was wrong, finding me some ways outside. I brushed him off though, telling him that past was catching up with me. He nodded, remaining unconvinced. I couldn't make contact with those bright eyes for at least another week.

He was always looking at her, like she was me. Like I'd always wanted to be looked at. She was my friend - my closest now, next to Yuffie - and I was happy for her. But I bled inside. She had been in love with, and was still in love with I think, the man that I'd met when my home burned down - Cloud's friend, Zack. But he looked at her with eyes that were happy they were joyful, and I was happy that they were like that again. But it wasn't to me, and I cursed myself for hoping every night when I went to sleep that one day, he'd look at me like that.

But she died. In front of us all, the slick blade cutting through her as though she were hot butter - barely even a sound was made, or perhaps I just didn't want to hear it. She died as she lived, praying and helping others. I envied her, I envied her so much, for her beauty and confidence and selflessness and how she could attract his eyes like I never could. I was so conflicted - she was one of my closest friends, but she was everything I never could be to the man I loved. The man, who had grown into everything id imagined him to by in my dreams - but he'd changed internally; he was pessimistic and he rarely smiled now. I missed him, so much. I missed his eyes.

He broke down, later, and all I could do was stay next to him, and coax him through his memories in the life stream. I felt so reassured, to my shame, that there was something wrong with him - not that he'd just forgotten me. I was so happy, seeing him recover and the light return to his eyes. They weren't the green-blue colour I'd known as a child - they stayed the bright cerulean - but there was life in him now, his life. He was the earnest Cloud that I knew, not the pessimist that he'd become.

He didn't stay that way for long. The old Cloud that I knew, and the new Cloud mixed when he came out of the life stream, and he was something new all together. I still loved him, he was still Cloud and almost everything about him was the same... But he wasn't my Cloud. He was a different person, and I knew that by then, I'd just have to get used to it. Everything I'd known was long gone by now.

By the end, I knew that I'd never get him back - if I ever had him to begin with. I'd never get him back fully at any rate; the most I could look forward to, was being with him half the time, and waiting for him to come back the rest of the time. He still broke down from time to time, and he came back through the broken shards sometimes, but he never came back fully - it was a false hope. I was just tricking myself. He still thought of her that way - he said her name and his name in his sleep sometimes, but I rarely heard him say my name. After all I'd given to him... It made me angry sometimes, but it was no ones fault but my own... If he hadn't climbed that mountain with me on that day, maybe he wouldn't have had to leave... Maybe he'd never have been experimented on... Maybe we'd be married in Nibelheim with a large, happy family, living everyday in ignorance of all the pain we've had... No. He's never looked at me that way. He'll never look at me that way, not with those bright, fake eyes.

Well, that was depressing. I tried to include a tone of acceptance, but it's still pretty depressing. Oh well, there shall be more! One day, hopefully soon.

So again, I'd like to say thank you to again everyone who's reviewed, followed, favourited and read, and I hope that I'll see you again some time soon! For now, please review if you've liked anything here, and follow for future updates. Thanks!