Dallas, Texas

After returning home and putting a very sleepy John Ross down for his nap, in his new bedroom, JR had assumed that things would calm down a little, because he and Sue Ellen had been looking forward to a little bit of alone time all day, however, apparently, his assumption was a bit too quick. Standing in the living room with a drink in his hand, he couldn't believe how agitated Sue Ellen was; he knew his father wasn't her favourite person, and admittedly, he understood why she took issue with his attitude sometimes, however, despite having the final word earlier, she was still wound up, as if she were ready for another argument. He knew better than to try to reason with her before she had said her piece though; she needed a little time and space to vent, then she would be open to hearing what he had to say. When he was tense, he often required a similar approach if he was to be communicated with; sometimes it just felt good to be able to say exactly what was on his mind, without being interrupted. Allowing Sue Ellen to let out her annoyed thoughts first, he wasn't too surprised when her mood changed slightly, moving away from a rambling rant and toward what was clearly bothering her, what she perceived to be criticism of their parenting skills.

She was more headstrong and confident now than she had been in the past, but that didn't mean she was free from feeling sadness, inferiority or doubt, and while other people didn't have to tiptoe around her just because she was sensitive, it would also be nice if they kept some of their thoughts and opinions to themselves. It was difficult being a first time mother, a wife and an independent, confident woman, because for the most part, she was figuring a lot of things out as she went along. For JR, it had become clear to him over the past few months that Doctor Williams had really helped them; Sue Ellen needed personal guidance, and their marriage truly benefitted from having a third-party assisting them. Their day so far had been full of ups and downs and he had a feeling that Doctor Williams would find some deeper meaning to all of it when they explained what had happened, but if JR had any control over anything that went on, he wouldn't be the one in the firing line. He was done with playing the bad guy when it came to his marriage; business he didn't mind so much, ruthless and unemotional worked in that context, but his relationship with Sue Ellen was different and he had no plans for his words or behaviour to be perceived as anything other than loving and supportive.

"…I'm sorry JR, I know he's your daddy and I should respect him, but that man drives me insane sometimes. He's a hypocrite; he admitted in the past that he gave Bobby everything and he doesn't regret it; at times, he also downright spoils Lucy, and while I was pregnant, he swore our baby would have everything and more, but as soon as I make any move to participate in anything similar, I'm labelled overprotective and dramatic. All I want is for John Ross to grow up with the emotional security and understanding that neither you nor I had when we were growing up. Of course I want him to be resilient and adaptable, but not because it's all he's ever known and he's grown used to having his needs and wants ignored".

"All of that is really beside the point though; your daddy took what should have been a simple discussion and turned it into one long criticism of our parenting abilities; I don't like it and I don't appreciate it, especially not in front of everyone else. Your mama I understand, I don't think she means any harm and I don't think she intends for her actions to come across as too close for comfort sometimes, but your daddy, I hate to say it, but I think he does mean harm. Not physical harm or even intentional emotional harm, but he's used to being in control and having people listen to him when he speaks; even if we did something he himself would do, he wouldn't automatically support us if he couldn't find some way to attribute the idea to his brilliant thinking. I get the feeling he likes to undermine other people's credibility and he'll do it in any way he can if he has to, including criticising decisions that don't really affect him in any way".

"I'm sure there are many examples of where he did something to ensure Bobby was comfortable or happy, but I'm also sure that if you asked him whether that counts as coddling, he'd say no. That is what gets to me, the hypocrisy. I don't want John Ross to have the same feelings of sadness and vulnerability that we had when we were children. I want him to grow up knowing we love him and will do things to assist him. Perhaps it is a bit too much, but does it really matter? He's happy, we're happy, well, I was until all of this happened. I just want to continue living the way we were, without analysing every little action and without wondering whether I'm ruining John Ross with love. I don't want him to be spoiled or uncontrollable because he thinks he's the boss, but he's still so young that I don't think either of those things are an issue anyway. Even if they were though, I don't like that your daddy is so vocal about his opinion. I can't control that, he's allowed to have an opinion, I know that, but I can't help that it gets to me".

Pausing after rambling, but trying to stay somewhat close to the topic they had originally been discussing, she then considered everything she had just said. She was so annoyed and hurt, but she was also confused; clearly, Jock's words had hit a nerve if she was so upset about them. Looking at JR, she then spoke again, this time in a much quieter voice, "am I being oversensitive?"

To be continued…

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